We Never Kissed

Chapter 36

Alex

The sun had set at least an hour ago, but this was the earliest I’d left the office in months. As I made my way to my car, I saw a dark figure standing nearby, and I tensed. I didn’t need any trouble tonight. It’s probably just a vagrant looking for money . But as I drew closer, I recognized the man waiting for me, the dim lighting from the lot illuminating his face.

“Sammy, what are you doing out here?”

“I was about to come up…” He shoved his hand into the pocket of his jeans. “You got a minute?”

“Yeah,” I said hesitantly. I’d made a decision to fix this disaster my life had become, and I was determined to see it through, but I also couldn’t ignore the look on Sammy’s face. Despite how pissed he was at me, the things he’d said to me, he was my brother.

He let out a loud sigh and looked beyond me toward my office building. “I’m surprised you’re leaving this early.”

He was stalling, and I didn’t have time for that. “What’s on your mind, man?”

He shook his head. “I said some shitty things to you…”

I didn’t respond, just waited to see what else he had to say.

Returning his focus to me, he said. “But, fuck, man. How could you keep something like that from me?”

I shot him a look that answered him clearly.

“I don’t care. You could have trusted me…from the beginning.” He rubbed a hand over his jaw. “At least then I could wrap my brain around you two, instead of being blindsided.”

Nodding, I said, “I know. And I’m sorry. I fucked up…in more ways than one, but…” I glanced away from the pain in his face. “I know how everyone sees me, and I knew none of you would think I was good enough for Ava, so I—”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

His angered tone had me snapping my gaze back to him. “What do you mean?”

“Alex, bro, you’re an idiot, you know that? ”

“Come on, man. You think the family would have been behind me and Ava?”

He shook his head. “Hell, I don’t know—but not because you’re not good enough. Geez, you’re clueless. Don’t you even see how much you are a part of this family? How important you are?”

“Yeah, the charity case you guys took in because I was your best friend.” I pulled my key fob from my pocket, wanting to wrap this up. Admittedly, I needed to face my past, but it had been a long day, and Sammy had caught me off guard.

His brows rose. “Okay, yeah, maybe at first. But you earned your spot…even if you didn’t have to. You were there for every single one of us at one time or another. I mean, damn, I’ve even been jealous a few times when Mom and Dad doted on you like you were the prize son of the family.”

I drew my head back, blown away by his revelation. “Bullshit.”

Stepping closer, he said, “No…it’s the truth, man. But even if there were times like that, there were way more times I was grateful I had a brother like you, one I was proud of, someone who had my back…who helped me watch out for my sister.” He paused and I braced for it. “So, yeah, it was shocking to hear, and I was hurt you didn ’t tell me, but…I guess…I get why you didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Thank you for saying that.” I let out a relieved sigh but still felt sadness in my chest. “I can’t lose you, any of you. I thought waiting to tell you was the right thing, but I was stupid, I guess.”

He quirked a half grin. “Yeah, well it wasn’t the first time.”

“True. And it won’t be the last.”

“For what it’s worth, I hope you and Ava work this out.” He chuckled. “You and I both know she hasn’t exactly picked the right men.”

I cocked my head. “I don’t know. I just think no one was good enough for us.”

“Until now. It still burns, I’ll be honest, but I couldn’t pick a better man for her.” Sammy put a hand on my shoulder. “And listen, Alex, Ava’s heart was in the right place. Over the years she and I…we’ve struggled with this thing with your mom. We didn’t want to push, and damn, maybe we should have because you can be a stubborn ass.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m serious. How long are you going to let this eat away at you?”

“I…I don’t know.” I let out a huff. “Old habits of denial. Listen, I get it and I know things have to change. I’m not trying to shut you out, but just trust me when I say I’m working up to something.”

“With your mom?” he said with eyes wide. “Or with Ava?”

I took a beat before answering. “Both. As long as I have my bro by my side?”

He held his arms out wide. “No matter what happens, brother.”

We hugged it out, and I got into my car. “I’ve got some things to take care of, but I’ll be in touch.”

He nodded. “Good because Cass told me not to come home until we were good.”

“We’re good. And thanks, brother.”

I watched Sammy walk to his car and get in before I headed home, feeling a sense of security that my family was intact. And certain of what I needed to do next. At my place, I ate, did some work, and got things ready for the next day.

Rising early, I only grabbed a cup of coffee before heading out the door. The drive would give me time to think things through, gain my courage, find the words I needed to say.

When I arrived at my destination, I was jittery and uncertain. Coffee and no food hadn’t helped, so I grabbed a quick sandwich at a small café. While I sat, I scrolled through some of the texts I’d ignored from Ava. It was a jackass move to shut her out like that, but I couldn’t deal with the emotions that came with reading her words. But now, I read every one. The apologies. The explanations. The hard truths about me. She never got mean or petty; that wasn’t Ava. As hard as it was to read how she felt, it was also somewhat healing. Most of all it made me miss her, my heart clenching as I pictured her waking up to an empty bed. She’d given me everything that night, and I’d selflessly taken what I needed without concern for her. If that didn’t prove her love for me, I didn’t know what would.

What I did know was that Ava was the only woman for me, and it was time to make this right. Time to cleanse the poison keeping us apart, time to give myself to her completely.

Leaving the café, determination in my gut, I strode down the street with purpose. I arrived at my destination a few blocks later and knocked on the door.

When it opened moments later, she stood in the doorway, shock on her face.

I swallowed, mustered my courage, and said, “Hello, Mom.”