We Never Kissed

Chapter 38

Ava

With the bathtub filling beside me, I peered at my haggard face in the mirror. I didn’t know if the puffy red eyes were from lack of sleep, or all the stress and sadness since the blowup between Alex and me. I had stopped trying to call him, stopped leaving messages, especially after I went to his office, and they said he was out of town—and he hadn’t even told me. Mom had said to give him space, and I wished I’d taken her advice sooner. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so hopeless. And, admittedly, a little pissed off, even if I had no right to be.

Sighing, I moved back to the tub. As I turned the water off, I heard Gunnar coming down the hall. “I’ll get it,” he called, although I hadn’t heard the door since the water was running. But I had also left my phone out there and wondered if he was planning to answer it. I hope not .

So, I leaned in and listened, then a beat later, I heard him say, “Keep that water warm for me, baby, and I’ll join you in a minute.”

I cracked the door open, my eyes narrowed in confusion. Then I heard what sounded like the front door slamming against the inside wall. I tightened the tie on my robe and raced out to the living room, where I found Alex pressing Gunnar up against the open door, holding him by the collar of his shirt.

“Hey!” I said, glaring at Alex.

He turned his head to me, his eyes quickly scanning my half-naked body and then narrowing. “Fuck this!” he said, then pushed off of Gunnar and turned to the doorway.

“Wait a minute!” I didn’t know what was going on, but I wasn’t about to let him walk out like that.

He spun and glared at me.

I turned an expectant gaze to a breathless Gunnar, who was straightening his shirt.

Likely out of pure self-preservation, Gunnar quickly piped up with, “Alex, man I was just screwing with you.” He shook his head, then headed toward the hallway. “I’m sure you two have lots to talk about. ”

My heart still racing, I watched Gunnar’s retreating back until he disappeared behind his door.

When I turned back to Alex, the first thing that hit me was his expression—guilt or shame that lasted only a few seconds before he dropped his chin to his chest and shook his head. “I should have known…”

“Yeah, you should have. Or do you have such little faith in me that you think I would do that to you?” I folded my arms, annoyed he played the jealousy card after ignoring me for days.

Closing the door, he said, “No, I don’t. That was just a stupid knee-jerk reaction.”

“Really?”

He nodded and stepped toward me. It took everything in me not to leap into his arms. I couldn’t put myself out there…not yet at least. Instead, I said, “What are you doing here?”

Another step had us almost toe to toe, and I caught his gaze dip to the V in my robe before snapping up to meet mine. “God, I missed you.” It came out in barely a whisper, so I wasn’t sure he’d even said the words.

I held my breath, waiting for more.

Bending forward, he brought his face closer to mine, but I didn’t move. We stood that way, staring at each other, the only sound our breathing growing more labored. When his hand reached up and brushed down my cheek, I pulled back.

Then I took a step toward the hallway. “If this is some sort of a booty call, you can forget it.”

His hand caught my wrist before I’d even finished the sentence. “It’s not,” he said through a chuckle. Then he head-gestured to the couch. “Please?”

I nodded and let him lead me around the couch—ignoring how needy I felt with my hand in his—and then we both sat, turning our bodies toward each other.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I’m sorry…”

“No, I’m sorry,” I blurted, though I wasn’t totally sure what he was apologizing for. “I betrayed your trust.”

He nodded. “But you did it out of love, and the way I acted…that was me being an ass.”

I raised my brows and added a little head cock to show I agreed but added, “You were hurt.”

“I was…and you forced me to think about something I’ve been hiding from…for too long.”

“But that’s your choice, Alex.” I scooted closer and placed a hand on his knee. “I didn’t plan what happened, and I know I should have told you, but no matter when you found out, you would have been upset…”

“I know. Everything just felt…out of control. But now—we ll—I think you did me a favor.” A half grin rose on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“I went to see my mom.” As if he knew I’d be pleased, his grin grew.

“Really?” When he nodded, I threw my arms around his neck. “Oh, Alex, I’m so proud of you.” His arms pulling me to him felt like the sign I needed that everything was going to be all right.

Though I didn’t want to let him go, I was anxious to hear more, so I pulled back. “Did you…want to tell me about it?”

He chuckled. “We had a long talk. She told me things I didn’t remember, things I never knew about.” He shook his head. “My dad played a bigger part in my disastrous family than I ever realized.” His expression turned dark then. “My mother made some terrible choices, and she let me down…but she didn’t deserve a lifetime of me shutting her out.”

Shaking my head, I took his hand. “Hey, don’t blame yourself for that. Most of those years, you had no choice. Now you have the rest of your life to make up for lost time.” I paused, peering into his eyes. “That is what you want?” I asked hesitantly.

He shrugged a shoulder. “I want her in my life…but I want to take it slow. Right now, I have other priorities. ”

“You do?” I grinned.

“Yeah, I should probably apologize to Gunnar,” he said matter-of-factly.

My mouth fell open. “Oh…”

When he released a bark of laughter, I sighed in relief, then smacked him in the chest. At the same time he hooked me by the waist and pulled me against him, his mouth capturing mine. It felt like home and hope and heat all wrapped up in one deep, delicious kiss.

Alex ended the kiss but kept me a breath away from him. “I should really apologize to Gunnar, too, though.”

I shook my head, holding back a devious grin. “Let him sweat it out. Teach him a lesson for messing with you.”

“That’s my girl,” he said.

Hearing him call me his girl sent a flush of heat over my skin, but I didn’t have time to recover because Alex rose to his feet, then bent to pick me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist as he walked me down the hall.

“I love you,” he whispered into my ear.

“I love you.”

Closing the door behind us, he pressed me against the back of my bedroom door. “Hang on, baby. We’ve got a lot of time to make up for. ”

Chapter 39

Alex

Ava slid onto my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck just as Sammy and Sue walked into the dining room, each carrying a tray of food.

“Aw, come on,” Sammy groaned. “Can we have some more acclimation before we have to see that?”

“We weren’t even doing anything,” Ava said, then lifted a brow. “Yet.”

They set the trays on the table as Sue said, “I think it’s lovely…and it makes me happy.” She turned and ran a hand over our heads like we were her sweet, innocent children.

“Wow, guess we know who your favorite child is,” Sammy said with an edge in his tone .

“Oh, stop.” Sue waved a hand at Sammy. “I’m just so grateful we’re all together for the holiday. It’s going to be the best Thanksgiving.” She moved around the table, closer to Sammy, and nudged his shoulder. “Now go grab the rest of those plates.”

“Hey, why don’t they have to help?” Sammy glared at us, and I grinned back, loving the pouty expression, even if he was milking it.

“I do believe you were still asleep when Ava and me were chopping up a storm this morning,” I said.

Ava stood and gave her best “Yea-ahh!” with a hand on her hip.

I had to admit, this whole scene felt right, comfortable, warming something inside me I’d kept somewhat guarded over the years. And it was a welcome distraction for my nerves. Then the doorbell rang, and we all froze and went wide-eyed.

Sue patted her hair like her prom date had just arrived. “Oh, goodness, that’s her.”

I stood, and Ava shot me a sweet grin as she slipped her hand in mine. “You all right?”

I nodded but then my head flooded with thoughts as I looked at each of their faces, trying to get my feet to move. There was no turning back after today. I reminded myself I wasn’t losing a family, just making room for one more.

I must have been in my head too long because Sue said, “I’ve got it” and then patted my shoulder as she walked by me.

“Wait!” My abrupt tone stopped her in her tracks, and she turned back to me.

“What is it, dear?”

I slipped away from Ava’s and went to Sue’s side. “I just want to say… Well, you’ve been…” I shook my head. “No matter what…”

A giant smile formed on her face. “I know, honey. I love you too… Even if you are doing the nasty between the sheets with my baby girl.”

My eyes widened, and everyone else gasped.

Sue shrugged. “What? I was trying to lighten the mood.”

The doorbell rang again, and Denny appeared then from the hallway. “No one’s getting that?”

“I’m going,” Sue said, walking toward the door.

I knew I was being ridiculous. It wasn’t like I was going to hide from her all afternoon. I turned my gaze on Denny, and he gave me a single nod, saying, “You’ve got this, Son.”

I returned the nod, then took off in Sue’s wake. She already had the door open when I rounded the corner, and I watched as the two women exchanged a hug, my mother’s eyes connecting with mine over Sue’s shoulder.

I grinned and moved up to them. “Hi…” Leaning in, I ga ve her an awkward hug. I didn’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to say “Mom.” I’d said it before, but in front of Sue it would take a minute.

“Thank you both for having me,” my mother said quietly when I pulled back.

“Of course, Maggie. You’re always welcome here,” Sue said.

It was then I noticed she was holding a bag at her side. “I brought a few things,” she said, lifting it.

“Wonderful. Why don’t we take it to the kitchen?”

Sue led the way, followed by my mother and then me. In the doorway of the kitchen, Sue turned and said, “Alex, can you and Sammy grab the extra chairs from the garage? Denny forgot.” She gave me a half grin, and I breathed a sigh of relief, offering my own smile of gratitude for the break.

“Sure…”

When I hesitated, she added, “We’ll be just fine.”

For some reason, I looked to my mother then, feeling an unexpected sense of obligation to make sure she was comfortable.

She grinned and nodded her approval, then said to Sue, “I’d love to help with whatever you need.”

Sammy and I quickly gathered the chairs and placed them at the table. We could hear all four women in the kitchen, talking and laughing as if they’d all been doing it for years.

“You know this means we’re outnumbered, bro,” Sammy said with a head gesture toward the kitchen.

I barked out a chuckle. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“I’m married. I always think of that.” His smile faded as he stepped closer. “Hey…I know I’ve been giving you a lot of shit lately.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Payback’s a bitch, right?”

“Yeah, you deserve it, but”—he gripped my shoulder, hard—“I’m ready to let it all go, as long as…”

“What?”

“I know the days of us making life hard for Ava’s boyfriends is over, but I’ll come out of retirement if I have to.”

I let out a hearty laugh and deliberately removed his hand. “That won’t be necessary, man. You know that, right? Shit, I hope you do.” I released an unsteady breath, but I was ready to put it out there for him. “This is it for me, Sammy. She’s it for me.” I held his gaze.

“I know.” He nodded. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

For a second, I felt for all the poor schmucks we’d tortured in the past, but then I grinned and said, “I’m starving. ”

We both laughed and headed into the kitchen to join the women. Cass and Dax had come in from the backyard and the whole scene—everyone snacking and chatting, smiles all around, felt so perfect.

Denny eventually came out to join us, just as we all finally gathered around the table. I sat between Ava and my mother, with Sue across from me, not an ounce of uncertainty in her sweet smile. Denny said a quick prayer, and once we all had our plates filled, we went around the table as we ate, sharing all the blessings we were thankful for. When it came to my turn, I had no shortage of things to say. In that moment, I felt the most blessed I’d ever been in my whole life.