What If I Knew You (Anaheim Stars Hockey #3)
6. Corri
20%
CHAPTER SIX
CORRI
“ O h my God!”
“What? What’s going on? Was it the guy? The mystery man?” Layken asks, perplexed with my shocked expression.
As I’m staring at my phone with my jaw hanging open, all I can do is nod.
“Well, what’s he saying? Wait, don’t tell me.” She palms her forehead. “Did he send you a dick pic?”
“No but…he asked if sex lessons are a thing.”
She spits her water all over herself and blurts, “He…what?”
“That’s what he said,” I tell her, gesturing to my phone. “It says, ‘I think I need sex lessons. Is that a thing?’”
“Oh, my God!” She laughs. “Do you think he’s being serious?”
“How the hell should I know?” I blurt. “I barely know the guy! What the hell am I supposed to say?”
“What do you want to say?”
“I don’t know! What do you say to someone who has been texting you for days but all you know about him is his name, his taste in food, his sexual experience, or lack thereof, and that he thinks he needs sex lessons?”
Layken laughs out loud. “Fuck, this is too good. Gimme that phone.” She doesn’t give me the chance to deny her before she snatches my phone from my hands and reads several of our last texts.
“Aww, Corri. This guy sounds…relatively nice.”
“Right? He doesn’t come off as a weirdo or a perv or anything like that.”
“Agreed.” She glances between my phone and me and then finally smirks. “What if he’s like a beast in the sheets but he doesn’t know it?”
I scrunch my face. “What if he’s some homeless man with a dad bod and a plumber’s crack?”
“Hey, don’t knock the dad bods of the world. Those bodies hold some of the world’s biggest hearts.”
I raise my hands in front of me. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have generalized.”
“Plus, he says in his text that he’s physically fit.”
“Yeah but you can’t believe everything. Until I see him for real I?—”
“Yes! Great idea!” The smile that crosses her face as her thumbs speed across my phone screen is alarming.
“Whaaaaat are you doing?”
“Sending him a reply.”
“But what are you saying?”
“I think it’s time for you to meet this mystery man.”
“WHAT? Are you CRAZY?”
She hands my phone, proud of herself as she smiles at me. “Corri, in case you have forgotten, I write spicy romance books when I’m not at my day job so yes, I’m just crazy enough to want you to meet this guy because who the hell knows?” She shrugs. “He could be the love of your life!”
“Oh please, that’s cr?—”
“Crazy?” Layken’s eyes grow huge, as does her grin. “That’s right. It is crazy! But even you can’t say it’s impossible because you don’t know. This guy might be hung like a fucking horse and besides, you told me enough times about pencil dick London Leo, and honestly honey, that bridge fell down. So, I think we both know you deserve a good dicking right about now.”
“But—"
“And maybe this guy is just the guy! He clearly wouldn’t be someone who thinks his shit doesn’t stink if he’s a virgin, but with enough mentoring you could literally mold this guy into the lover you’ve always dreamed of. And then maybe you’ll fall in love and live happily ever after and have all his little mystery babies and then I can write a bestselling novel all about it!” Her hand to her chest, she sighs against the back of our booth with a dreamy smile on her face.
“You’re not honestly suggesting I sleep with this guy?”
Her cheeks turn pink and she giggles as she gestures to my phone with her eyes. “I mean, I may have already offered it up.”
“WHAT?” My jaw hangs open as I drop my head and look down at my phone screen.
Alan
I think I need sex lessons. Is that even a thing?
Me
Sure. But I don’t work for free. Might fuck for food though.
“OH MY GOD, LAYKEN!” I whisper shout as she bursts out laughing. “I can’t believe you told him that!”
“Come on!” She waves her hand. “Live a little. You never know if?—”
“Shit! He’s writing back!” Like a deer in headlights, I stare at my best friend, my hand starting to sweat as I hold my phone. I cannot believe this is even happening. That we’re encouraging this conversation. “He’s totally going to tell me to fuck off. That was way too strong of a?—"
Alan
Oh. I didn’t mean…Uuuh, I mean…wait…are you...are you seriously offering?
Without speaking, I swallow the knot in my throat and turn the phone toward Layken so she can see what he said.
She claps her hands excitedly. “Eeeeeeek! This is perfect!”
“What. Do. I. Do. Now?”
With a helpless sigh she peels my phone out of my hand once again and texts Alan, the mystery virgin.
Me
Sure. I have a nice pair of chesticles. I could definitely teach you a few things. What do you want to learn specifically?
Alan
All of it. Also, I just spit out my drink at the word chesticles. That’s a new one for me.
Me
All of it, as in, you’ve never done anything with a woman? Like, ever?
Alan
I told you I was a virgin, didn’t I?
Me
Yeah but that can mean a lot of things.
Alan
Okay so full transparency: I had to work hard to get where I am today. My father paid for a lot of opportunities for me and I didn’t want to let him down by accidentally knocking up a woman I wasn’t in love with. So, I just never got involved. Lame, I know, but that’s my truth.
Me
Not lame, Alan. There’s nothing wrong with being a responsible man. It’s wise and honorable. So why the sudden change of heart?
Alan
I could probably better explain in person but long story short, I’m seeing a lot of my coworkers finally settling down and realizing they have the best of both worlds. They have love and they have career. And they’re happy men. So, I kind of want that too.
Me
Okay. That’s understandable. Are you saying you’re unhappy?
Alan
Not unhappy. Just…I don’t know. Lonely? And I don’t want to date some girl and fall for her and be bad in bed. I want to be able to pleasure her and worship her and show her what she gets when she’s with me. Ugh but I don’t have a fucking clue how to do this. For all I know, I suck at it. How do you find out if you’re bad in bed if you don’t have anyone to tell you you’re bad in bed?
Alan
PS. You can laugh if you want. I know how bad this all sounds.
Me
Actually, I think it’s endearing. In my experiences, men don’t seem to care about pleasuring their partners as much as they care about getting off inside a warm vagina. Or down a throat.
Alan
I don’t want to be that kind of guy. That guy sounds like an asshole.
Layken lays my phone on the table and looks at me. “Listen, this guy sounds like he’s too good to be true so if you don’t teach him to fuck like a beast, I will. But also,” she adds practically bouncing in her seat, “I really need you to do this because I just get a good vibe from him and plus, c’est la vie, Corri.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, amused.
“It means you’re living your life.” She allows me to scroll through the things she was saying to Alan while she explains, “You moved abroad to learn and work and you fell in love and that guy ended up being a douche. So here you are back in the States. You accidentally text some guy, who rather than just ignore you or tell you ‘wrong number’ and never speak to you again, has been texting you multiple times a day for several days. He comes across as a ten so far, except he has zero bedroom experience. And now you have the opportunity to literally teach him all the ways you like to be pleasured.”
“Yeah but he’s not in it for me. He says he wants to learn so he’s ready when he meets his?—”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She waves me off. “I know what he said. But who’s to say you aren’t the love of his life?”
I chuckle at her slightly pushy albeit hopeful attitude. “You really are the hopeless romantic, aren’t you?”
She puts both hands on the table and raises her brows, her eyes filled with glee. “Does that mean yes?”
Taking a deep breath, I glance down at my phone again to see another message from Alan.
Alan
Look, I didn’t mean to say all this. I’m really sorry. You deserve a man who knows what he’s doing and treats you like gold. I totally understand if you want to think I’m a fucking douche and never speak to me again.
Steeling myself for what I’m about to do, I pick up my phone and move my thumbs over the letters forming my next text:
Me
We start tomorrow.