What If I Knew You (Anaheim Stars Hockey #3)

7. Corrigan

CHAPTER SEVEN

CORRIGAN

“ I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

I take one more look at myself in my bedroom mirror, making sure I look hot enough in my green floral mini wrap dress for Alan to possibly think I’m attractive, yet classy enough to not look like a whore. My hair is down, styled in tight curls as it’s the only thing my hair knows how to do, and I’ve applied minimal makeup. Enough to feel pretty but not overdone.

“You know what? Fuck it. I’m ending this night with an orgasm one way or another. Layken is right. C’est la fucking vie.”

Approving of my look for the night, I remind myself not to bend over too far in public, fluff my hair, grab my purse and keys, and head out.

When Alan texted me this morning that he was back in town and looking forward to our date, he suggested we meet at Topside Peaks, a rooftop bar not far from where I live, though he doesn’t know that. I liked the idea of Topside in particular because it’s relatively dark with only soft lighting so it feels a little more private, and also, it’s never extremely busy as it tends to be on the pricier side. The fact Alan recommended this place at all impressed me. He must make decent money in whatever job he does to be able to afford this place. When my Uber drops me off, I make my way to the elevator while double checking his last text to remind myself how to best identify him.

Me

I’ll be in a green floral mini wrap dress and heels. Light brown very curly hair.

Alan

I’m sure you’ll look stunning. I’ll be wearing black pants and a light black sweater.

Me

Perfect, you’ll blend in well with the shadows.

Alan

I promise I’ll find you.

The elevator doors open and I step out to the rooftop bar overlooking the city. It’s a modern take on a tropical oasis above the fray of the streets below. There are beautifully adorned open cabanas lining the center of the rooftop while firepit lounges line the back wall. Up front it’s standing room only with a wide-brimmed bar edging the banister where patrons can mingle while taking in the views of the city’s nightlife. It really is a magical view. As I look left and right, I notice the space is just dark enough to feel a sense of privacy yet not enough to make me feel any less on edge.

I’m literally about to whore myself out…for free.

Nothing a stiff drink can’t help fix, right?

A man standing behind a podium smiles at me when I approach him. He’s in black dress pants, with a white dress shirt, and black tie. His blond hair styled meticulously.

“Welcome to Topside Peaks. Can I interest you in one of our cabanas or fireside lounges this evening?”

I return his warm smile with one of my own. “Uh, hi. Actually, I’m meeting someone here. The reservation is under the name Alan.”

The man checks his iPad and then nods. “Of course. It looks like you two will be at our cabana in the far back corner. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you there.”

“Thank you.”

He leads me across the rooftop to the last cabana near the corner of the bar. It’s the best of both worlds as there is a comfy loveseat for two along with a small table and chairs plus access to the ledge where I can stand and see the city streets below.

“Can I get you a drink ma’am?”

“Yes please.” I turn back from admiring the view. “A vodka cranberry.”

He taps a few things on his iPad and nods with a smile. “Coming right up. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you very much.”

When the host disappears back across the rooftop I nervously glance around for any sign of Mystery Alan, but there’s only a small handful of people here. One party of six is laughing together several cabanas away, a party of four is seated around one of the fireside lounges, three individual couples are standing near the ledge, and then there’s me. Adjusting my dress from the warm coastal breeze, I take a deep breath and remind myself that confidence is key. I feel like one of those girls Layken reads about in her romance books. The ones who make a deal with the rich billionaire having no clue what they’re getting themselves into.

Oh my God what if this is like that?

What if Alan is some billionaire business mogul?

What if he wants to Alpha me?

No, that’s insane. I would be the alpha in this scenario.

What if he intends to lavish me with gifts in exchange for sex lessons?

Sex lessons?

There has to be a better name.

Sex mentor?

Titillating Tutor?

Intimacy coach?

Yeah, intimacy coach sounds classy.

He has to be rich if he suggested this place, right?

Fancy dates in exchange for some intimacy coaching.

I mean, there could be worse things.

Okay. You’ve got this Corri.

I’m sure he’s very nice.

And hopefully mildly attractive.

Oh God, what if he’s horribly unattractive?

I mean he said he thought he was attractive but that could mean anything.

He never mentioned the way he smells.

Maybe that’s why he’s still a virgin.

Maybe he’s a super attractive guy with horrible body odor.

What if the smell makes me gag and I vomit right in front of him?

What if his scent is all I can think about all night?

Oh! Or worse! What if he’s old?

What if he’s my dad’s age?

Oh shit, what if he knows my dad?

“Shit. Maybe I shouldn’t do this.” Glancing down at my phone I tap out a quick text to Layken while I wait for my date who is now three minutes late.

Me

Layken what if this guy is old and wrinkly? Or smells really bad? And what if he knows my dad? I don’t think I should go through with?—

“Corri?”

“Huh?” Startled, I nearly drop my phone when I turn toward the male voice. I catch it against my stomach, but then I step back and almost trip over my own foot in the process. “Whoa!” Raising my arms, I reach for whatever I can so I don’t fall backwards. His arm wraps around my waist just in time to save me from imminent peril and certain embarrassment.

“Sorry about that. Didn’t meant to startle you,” he says. “You okay?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah. Uh hi.” Slipping my phone into my purse hanging at my side, I check my hair with my hands and then fidget with my dress making sure it’s situated perfectly and then finally look up and meet the eyes of my?—

Oooh noooo.

Is this…

What…

Is this a prank?

He can’t be serious, right?

Was this all a set up?

What’s going on here?

I don’t understand.

Does he really think…

He has to know I…

“Hi. I’m Alan,” he says kindly as he hands me a glass. “Your vodka cranberry.”

His whiskey brown eyes stare back at me as my drink is shuffled from his hand to mine. My fingers brush against his as I take my glass and I notice the warmth of his skin. His facial features are gorgeously sharp, with dark brows and black hair that’s short around the sides but hangs messily near his left eye. He’s clean shaven with an angular jaw and a smile that could literally melt my panties right off.

He looks every bit the spitting image of his pictures online and on T.V. so I don’t understand why he’s here unless…wait…

Does he know who I am?

He’s new to the team so maybe he has no idea.

And if that’s the case then…

Oh, my God.

His name is definitely not Alan.

This is Bodhi Roche! The newest player for the Anaheim Stars!

The team my dad coaches!

Shit! Fuck! Shit! Hell!

Oh, my God.

Bodhi Roche asked me for sex lessons!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my GOD!

Why does he call himself Alan?

Is he trying not to be Bodhi?

Isn’t his middle name Alan?

Bodhi Alan Roche…do I remember that correctly?

Ugh! Who cares? It’s definitely him and he’s not using his first name.

What the hell do I do?

Do I run away?

Ugh if I do that, I’ll never be able to be around him again.

It will always be hella uncomfortable.

I don’t want that.

He isn’t going to want that.

Okay I have to stay cool.

Don’t react Corrigan.

He clearly doesn’t know who I am.

I suppose I haven’t used my entire name either sooo fair is fair.

And so far I haven’t given him any indication I know who he is.

If he thinks I know who he is, he’ll bolt.

Fuck, how am I going to keep this from Dad?

Corri, he’s trusting you.

This is like doctor-patient confidentiality.

Easy peasy.

Okay. Yeah.

I can do this.

“H-H-hi…Alan.”

Alan.

Alan.

Not Bodhi.

Call him Alan.

I try my best to steady my voice as I offer him my hand to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s all mine.” His strong hand connects with mine, his fingers squeezing as his eyes rake over my body and then float back up to meet mine. “You look…beautiful tonight. That’s a…wow…a stunning dress.”

Stunning dress?

Stunning…dress?

Bodhi Roche just told me I’m wearing a stunning dress!

I mean Alan! Alan told me I’m wearing a stunning dress.

“Thank you very much. You look amazing as well.” He really does have fantastic fashion sense but what else would I expect from a professional hockey player? At least it’s not Griffin with his goofy pajama pants.

I cannot believe I’m here right now .

How is this even happening?

Quickly, I scan the rooftop for signs that anyone else here recognized him—or me for that matter—but just like before, everyone else up here is focused on their own conversations. We have the area completely to ourselves.

“Have you ever been here before?” Bodhi—I mean Alan—asks me.

“A couple times but it was years ago. It’s gorgeous up here. I had forgotten just how far you can see.”

“Right? It’s the best on a clear night like this too.”

“So, you’ve been here before then?”

“Only once with…uh…a client. It’s a nice place to wine and dine.”

I take a long sip of my vodka cranberry and then boldly ask, “Is that what you’re doing with me? Wining and dining?”

“Well…” He shrugs. “You did ask me to take you to dinner first.”

Actually, Layken’s words were ‘Might fuck for food though’…but I digress.

His innocent honesty breaks the ice and I let out a laugh, my anxiety dissipating little by little. “Except this isn’t dinner. It’s just drinks.”

“You’re right.” He nods in agreement. “But I find that preventing dehydration is key.”

With a smirk, I retort, “Right. Definitely wouldn’t want the dreaded Big-D. Best to curb the dehydration with a whiskey sour and a vodka cranberry, am I right?”

He passes off an innocent shrug. “We do what we can, but I can get you a water if you prefer.”

“Nope.” I lift my glass to clink with his. “You’ve just met me and I’ll be doing things with you by the end of this night that I’ve never done before on a first date. The alcohol is making me brave.”

Looking equally nervous, he nods. “Understood. Do you want to sit?” he asks, gesturing to the loveseat under the cabana.

“Yeah. Sure.”

As we take our seats I run through a few possible scenarios of how this night could go.

Is Bodhi really a virgin?

His reputation makes it seem like he’s a player, but what if he’s not and that’s just how the media, or an old marketing team, likes to spin his personality because in reality he’s just the opposite? Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen it done with professional athletes.

There’s only one way to figure this out.

I’ve got to ask the right questions.

“So, Alan, what is it you do for a living?”

“Uh.” His brows pinch slightly. “I’m in team building and physical fitness.”

Hmm. So, he doesn’t want me to know he’s a hockey player.

Why?

“That sounds exciting and busy.”

“Very busy.” He nods. “It’s a lot of travel and a lot of time management. My company keeps a busy schedule but the job makes me happy.”

“And you know what they say,” I tell him. “If you love what you do, you don’t work a day in your life.”

“That’s true.” He smiles. “And what about you? Is nursing something you’ve always wanted to do?”

Moving the conversation away from him. I see what he’s doing.

So, he really doesn’t want me to know who he is.

Which means he also has no idea who I am.

God, this could get awkward very fast.

Or…I could play it out because obviously this is happening for a reason.

And who better to understand his need for privacy than his coach’s daughter?

But damn if he ever finds out who I am…

Actually…what is there to lose?

If he finds out who I am, he’s not going to run to my dad and tell on himself.

That would be professional suicide if I know my dad.

And I’m certainly not going to tell Dad.

I have to earn his trust.

I have to make him feel safe.

That’s the only way this will work.

“Yeah I love nursing. I’ve wanted to be a nurse since my mom got sick twelve years ago.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” His features soften and he touches my knee. The contact alone sends a spark up my spine. “Did she pass away?”

I nod. “Yeah. Bone cancer eleven years ago. It was hard because I was still a teenager. Not that it would be any easier now but…” I shrug. “Anyway. She’s not suffering anymore.”

He’s quiet for a brief moment before he swallows and says, “My dad passed from cancer four years ago.”

My mouth falls open as I gasp lightly. “Oh, Alan I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

How many years did Dad say Bodhi had played in Boston?

Two? Three? Four?

Damn! That means…

His father was going through this at the start of his hockey career.

“I guess that means we have something in common now, huh?”

“Yeah. Welcome to the dead parent club,” I tell him. “I wish I could say we’re happy to have you, but…you know…it sucks. I’m not going to lie.”

He huffs a soft laugh and nudges me with his elbow. “Is it terrible to say it’s nice to know I’m not alone?”

“Nah. I think that’s pretty normal. How old are you, Alan?”

“Twenty-four. Almost twenty-five. You?”

“Twenty- seven.”

He wags his brow playfully. “An older woman, huh?”

Cringing, I ask, “Does that bother you?”

“Not at all. Does it bother you?”

I shake my head and take another sip of my drink. Moistening my lips with the tip of my tongue, I allow my gaze to trail down his body taking note of the way his broad chest fills out his sweater, the thinness of the material expertly revealing his rounded biceps. His sleeves pushed back bring my attention to the sinews of his veiny forearms and the size of his hands that I know grasp and maneuver a stick on the ice with a prowess most players would envy. In looks, he’s the kind of man any woman would drool over. And up until today, I would have thought that was the case for Bodhi Roche, hockey superstar.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

The corner of his mouth draws up. “If you can’t ask me a personal question, I have no business being here.”

“If you don’t mind my saying so, you’re insanely attractive.”

The side of his mouth turns up. “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

“I just mean you seem to have the whole package.”

His brow quirks. “I wasn’t aware we were talking about my package.”

“Well, we weren’t but maybe we are now, because in the looks department you’re a ten and so far in our conversations, you haven’t come across as some kind of sex-crazed douche whose only point in life is to carve another notch in his bedpost. So, unless your package is abnormally small…”

Staring into my soul, albeit with a look of amusement, he murmurs, “I assure you it’s not. But I imagine you’ll see that for yourself soon enough and then maybe you can tell me.”

Cocking my head and taking in his answer, I finally ask, “Then forgive me saying this, but I don’t get it. Is your dad really the reason you’re still a virgin?”

“He is,” he murmurs, nodding slowly. “He gave me everything. Paid for my schooling…all my uh…activities growing up.”

Hockey…I know he means hockey.

“I knew he was giving up so much of his time and money for me so I never wanted to let him down.” He bows his head and quietly adds, “But I didn’t know he was spending his money on me instead of cancer treatments. By the time I found out, it was too late.”

“I’m so sorry, Alan. It sounds like he loved you very much.”

“He did. And I loved him. My parents were my world growing up.”

“Is your mom still around?”

“Yeah. I see her a few times a year. She still lives at home, back where I grew up.”

“Which is where?”

“Pittsburgh.”

“Wow. You’re far from home.”

“That’s the job,” he says, tossing back his drink and motioning for the waiter to bring another.

“So now that your dad has passed away, you’re ready to lose your virginity? Just like that?”

He smiles. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds a bit ungrateful. But in reality, my dad’s death is finally making me notice life around me that I guess I took for granted until now. I see my colleagues all falling in love and living these happy lives and their careers aren’t suffering. If anything, they’re blossoming because they’re happy. I want that too. I want that happy life but…” He smooths his hand down his face. “I’m like the lamest fucking virgin you will probably ever meet.”

“Why do you say it like that?”

“Because when I say I haven’t done anything with a woman I mean it. I haven’t even kissed a woman. I mean, I kissed a girl in high school but that was nearly ten years ago now. I stayed away as much as I possibly could during my college years so I wouldn’t make any stupid mistakes.”

“And now you’re okay with mistakes?”

He bobs his head and chuckles. “I’m okay knowing if for some reason a mistake is made, I’m responsible enough to be able to handle it.”

“Meaning you can pay for a child’s upbringing if it comes to that.”

He winces slightly. “Again, that makes me sound like the pompous ass that I assure you I’m not, but yeah. If something happened, at least I know I could provide for a child and its mother.” With his hand on the back of his neck, he adds, “And I’m not saying I would be some dead-beat dad. I wouldn’t. I want kids one day. I want to be the father for my kids that my father was for me. I just feel like I have a lot to learn if I’m going to make a woman happy. Life isn’t like it was back in high school, you know?”

“Totally get it. So have you um…” I bite the corner of my bottom lip. “Have you thought about how you want any of this to go? You and me, I mean?”

He shakes his head and winces. “Not really. I mean, I’ve obviously thought about sex loads of times before but right here, right now? I guess I really wasn’t sure what or how to plan for tonight.” He dips his chin to his chest, avoiding my eyes.

Okay.

So, this is up to me.

I’ve got to make him comfortable.

I can do this.

“Alright well I say from here on out we put our nervousness aside and pretend this is one of the best dates we’ve had in a long time.”

“Okay. I can do that. It wouldn’t even be too hard,” he says, smiling. “You’re stunning, and you haven’t run out on me yet.”

“That’s right.” I nod. “I’m right here looking like a million bucks. So, kiss me.”

His head shoots up and his eyes meet mine. “What?”

“You heard me.” I place my glass on the table in front of us and take his glass and do the same before I turn my body toward him and lay my hands on his knees. “Let’s rip off the band aid. I want you to kiss me.”

“Right here?” His brows lift. “Right now?”

“Mhmm. I promise I won’t bite. Let’s see what you’ve got?”

“What if I suck at it?”

“You won’t.” I grin. “But if you do, I’ll tell you and we’ll go from there. Okay?”

He nods and pushes his hands down his thighs. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay.”

I close my eyes in anticipation and hear him blow out a nervous breath. He slips his hand into my hair and cups my cheek. “Here I go.”

His thumb strokes my skin and I wonder what he might be thinking right before he presses his warm soft lips against mine. I expect to not feel a thing, after all, this is simply a test kiss so I can decide on a lesson plan. But when his lips touch mine he pauses for the briefest moment before he angles my head and goes for it and hooooly shit.

This is a kiss.

My heartbeat pounds in my ear and my stomach bottoms out as our mouths move together. He’s smooth, gentle and slow, like he’s savoring every second of our connection. Like he’s truly tasting me. And for just a second, I find myself wishing we could have this first kiss over and over again, because dang, he’s pretty damn good at this.

His tongue slides gently against my mouth and I open my lips for him. The slightest feel of his tongue against mine sends a jolt of lust through my body, warming me from the inside out, and oh my God, I’m kissing Bodhi Roche! I press my hand lightly against his hardened chest, his muscular physique under the tips of my fingers. I want to slide my hand down his taut body but I keep myself in control even though my heart is racing inside my chest.

Can he feel that?

Is his pulse racing too?

The last man I kissed was Leo but even on his best day, it was nothing like this. Alan slowly pulls his lips from mine and as he does, a sigh escapes my mouth, though on the inside it feels like my breath has been sucked out of my lungs. I take a moment to open my eyes only to find him watching me.

He cringes slightly and in a whisper of a voice showing his vulnerability asks, “How was that?”

I tilt my head and give him a reassuring smile. Bringing a finger to my lips, I revel in the lingering tingling sensation reminding me of the moment we just shared.

“It was…wow.”