When The Rain Falls

30. Half-Cocked

30 HALF-COCKED

FINN

For my next trick, I will completely unravel.

I wish I could ask myself what I’m doing. But no part of me knows the answer to that question.

After that night, the night on the deck, I put all my walls back up. Built them as high as I could. But I must be the world’s shittiest carpenter. Because all it took was one late night visit from Aimee and the perkiest nipples on the fucking planet for them to come completely tumbling down.

Her damn proposition. What if it’s ok? She looked me in the eyes and told me she was ok with me thinking about another woman. She all but told me it was ok if I treated her like dirt. And I wanted to tell her that none of this is true. That I lied. That I’m still lying. That I want her to be mine. That she’s all I can think about. But then she’ll know the truth. And that truth has the power to ruin me.

So, what did I do? I came up with some stupid half-cocked rule. Literally.

I may not be able to perform but I can please her in other ways. I figure that as long as I stay in control and my dick stays in my pants, this might actually work. For a while anyway.

I’m sure this is a terrible idea. I’m sure it will end poorly. Because I fuck everything up. But right now, at this moment, none of that matters. Because my dick is hard. And Aimee’s lips are so soft. And I just want to taste her and hear her moan my name again.

I take Aimee’s hand and lead her upstairs, past the closed doors of the girls’ bedrooms. And I do the thing I’ve been thinking about doing for days. I guide Aimee straight to my bed.

“Down.” I point.

She looks up at me, that familiar sinful smile spreading her lips. “Right here? On your bed?” she asks.

“It’s not a bed,” I correct her.

“It’s not?” she asks as she slips her shirt over her head. I’m staring at a pair of pink, pebbled nipples gracing the tip of two delicate breasts and I nearly lose my goddamn mind. Aimee flutters her eyes at me. But she doesn’t do it because she’s shy. She does it because she knows her body is my Achilles’ heel. I’m surprised my legs haven’t turned to noodles beneath my body.

“It’s not the bed. Tonight it’s the fucking kitchen table,” I tell her, trying to find some command in my voice, “and you’re the fucking meal. Lay down, babe ,” I emphasize the word, because I’ve seen the way that pet name makes her weak for me. And I need a little more power right now.

She slowly lowers herself onto the edge of the bed, her bare legs rubbing together in anticipation. I step between them, pushing them apart. I don’t miss how close her breasts are to my straining cock.

“Set the table, Aimee,” I command, giving her shoulder a light push backward. Aimee bites her lip and eases onto her back.

“I want this pussy dripping in my mouth. Can you do that for me?” I lean over her, teasing the band of her shorts.

She nods as her bare breasts heave towards the ceiling.

“Look at you. Taking orders.” I lift one of her thighs and plant a light swat across the underside. Aimee practically mewls. And the sound of her, needy and hungry for me, drives me wild.

I climb onto the bed, my knees on either side of her as I tower. I pop my thumb into her mouth and she sucks greedily.

“You like to suck, Aimee?” I rasp. “You thinking about my cock right now?”

“Yes, Daddy,” she says as her tongue circles my thumb.

“Don’t call me that,” I scold, but my voice is raw and vulnerable. I pull my thumb out, enjoying the way it tugs at her lips. Then I reach down to pinch a nipple. Goddamn. I enjoy every touch of her body. Every scouring glance across her skin. Her body is splayed out beneath me, like it’s mine for the taking. And I plan to fucking take.

“You said I couldn’t touch. There’s no rule about what I can call you.” Aimee grins sinfully at me and bites her lip. “ Daddy ,” she breathes.

“New rule?—”

“No,” she says, digging her shoulders into the mattress beneath me as she gets comfortable. Her hands slide down her body and dip into her shorts. Her eyes close as she touches herself and the sight of her, like this, traps me helpless in her web. “You had your chance,” she purrs through slightly parted lips.

A frustrated grumble rolls around in the back of my throat. I lean over her, run my hands along her dainty ribs, and take a nipple in my mouth. She gives out a tortured squeal as her back arches. Her eyes glaze slightly and I feel her thighs trying to spread open beneath me. “ Daddy ,” she cries, husky and sultry. My dick surges and my breathing grows flustered.

I’ve completely changed my mind. She can call me Daddy. She can call me Daddy any fucking time she wants.

When my dick jolts, Aimee doesn’t miss it. Her eyes flutter open and catch mine. “Look at that,” she whispers. “I think you just gave me permission.”

“You can touch,” I concede. My voice sounds hoarse, like I’ve just crawled my way out of a blistering desert and haven’t had a sip of water in weeks. And that’s how I feel. Hot and tortured, aching all over. I’m letting her touch, but only because my cock is suddenly aching for attention and I don’t want to remove my hands from her body to do the job myself. “Hands on the outside,” I instruct.

She rubs her hand along my hardened ridge, causing me to take in a sharp inhale as pleasure makes its way throughout my body. She traces me and when she gets to the head, my head tilts back in a groan. I curse the clothing that’s in the way.

“I want to milk your cock,” she pants. “ Please? ” Goddamn. I clench my jaw and hold firm.

“I didn't give you permission for that,” I remind her.

“Bear, can I?—”

“No,” I answer gruffly. I pull her hand away and there’s a flash of hurt across her face. I wonder if she thinks I put this rule in place because I’m an asshole. I hate the thought of her not knowing how thoroughly she’s shaken me. How deeply I want her. But she must. I fucking told her I was thinking of Laurel.

“No, because I want to see you,” I explain, trying to smooth away the hurt. “I want to see all of you,” I tell her. I push off the bed and stand beside her. I slip her shorts down and then slide them off her smooth legs. She rubs her thighs together as I take in her sheer, mesh thong with ridiculously thin straps riding high on her hips.

“Inappropriate,” I growl.

“What? You don’t like these?” Aimee’s got one hand massaging a full breast and the other dipping just below the strap of her thong.

I think back to the night she paraded around in her ridiculous black dress. “You told me you had crotchless panties, Aimee.” My voice is deep and husky as sexual frustration grips and squeezes every muscle in my body. “So where are they?” I scold.

“I said I have crotchless nighties . And I didn’t?—”

“I don’t care for excuses,” I grumble as I kneel between her legs. With this rule in place, I feel bold. “I have to fix this.” I bring my mouth between her legs and tease her clit gently over the mesh fabric. I use my lips and then my teeth. Aimee’s hands find my hair and she rocks her body against my face, begging for me. I take the fabric between in my mouth, her legs brushing against the side of my head, and gnaw on it. I grab one end and pull with my teeth. My effort is rewarded with a satisfying tearing sound.

Aimee gasps. “Did you really just?—”

She stops talking immediately when I lift the flap of torn fabric and take in her delicate, bare folds, pressing a kiss to her center. Aimee’s breathing grows raspy as I delve my tongue inside her. I feel her squirm as she guides my mouth to the perfect button of her clit. And it’s there, at that spot, where I’m going to worship her. As I take it in my mouth, I slip my finger into her. I’m tentative at first, to make sure she's ready. But she’s more than ready. She’s slippery, and slick, and so fucking wet.

I had forgotten all of this. Forgotten what it was like for someone’s body to beg for my touch. To plant a kiss between someone’s legs and have them bloom for me. Like I’m the rain, and the sun, and everything else they need to survive. And the feeling is intoxicating.

“Fuck. You like when I touch you like this, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Aimee rasps. And Goddamn, that’s just one finger. I have nine more. I add two more fingers and slip all the way in. What falls out of her mouth can only be described as a throaty, raspy song.

“You have to be quiet,” I remind her.

“That wasn’t one of your rules.” Her words fall softly between light pants.

“Aimee, you have to. Or I'm going to stop.”

I twist my fingers inside her, then slide them out slowly. I circle her opening again and Aimee's body seizes slightly. Slowly, I run my wet fingers across her thigh, leaving a trail of her desire across her skin. The sight of it, the sight of her open for me, wet, and eager, and needy. She’s a fucking vision. The woman who is all boldness and constant lip and defiance is now vulnerable. And she’s in my bed.

Goddamn. I don't know if I can do this. You'd think nine years of suffering would make me better at denying myself, but fuck, I don't think I can just have her partway. This is such a bad fucking idea. The only smart thing to do would be to stop right here. But I’m in too deep now. And I’m a category five idiot. An idiot for her.

Aimee claps a hand over her mouth as she stifles another moan. I bring her back into my mouth while she strokes my hair. The simple tenderness of her fingers casts a deep spell over me. I lick, and suck, and leave a handful of gentle bites. I watch the swell of her breasts frame her tipped chin. She’s so fucking tempting and I need to have her in every way that I can.

I heave myself up the bed and roll over beside her. “Baby,” I command, “get up here and ride my face.”

"Really?"

“Get up here,” I order again.

“Most guys don’t like it,” she says, rolling onto her side.

“I’m not one of your fucking Jacks,” I growl. But aren’t I? Aren’t I just like them? Playing fucking games and hiding like a coward? “Fuck them and get on my face,” I say one last time as I take her arms and bring her on top of me, clasping her hand and kissing the inside of her forearm. Her thighs shimmy up my chest around my shoulders. I settle beneath her and grab her ass. When I try to pull her to my mouth, she hesitates. She hovers just out of reach and throws me a sinful smile.

“Aimee…” My voice is gruff and needy.

She laughs and blushes.

“You like blushing, babe? I’ll give you something to blush about.” I squeeze her ass and pull her forcefully onto my mouth. Aimee’s laugh quickly transforms into a moan. Her fingers find my scalp as her hips drive against my face. Her body suddenly clenches around my head and her knees dig into my ears. I have to take myself in my hand and stroke to ease the pressure in my cock.

Right now, I feel like a goddamn maestro. Orchestrating her pleasure. Commanding her release. She moans breathlessly into the air as her body becomes flooded with pleasure and every muscle seizes.

I think about telling her to be quiet again. But I’m lost in her. And my mouth is occupied. And then it’s too late.

“Oh fuck, Finn!” She comes. Sweet and tangy. Pulsing and swollen into my mouth.

When she's spent, she slides off me and onto her back. Her flushed face to the ceiling. Her breathing begins to slow again. Her mouth is open, eyes closed. She looks like a cherub frozen mid-song. But one with thick wavy hair splayed wildly across her pillow. I’m glad she’s satisfied. Because if this didn’t stop soon, my dick would be at risk of exploding.

I prop myself up beside her and kiss her shoulder. I trace her belly, dipping a finger over her pubic bone. I find her entrance again, coat my fingers in the remnants of her orgasm, and caress her with it. She moans again in approval. Then she turns her head and looks at me through dazed eyes.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” I tell her. I take her hand and press the inside of her wrist against my lips. I’m still so full of need and hunger. I want to roll on top of her. Sink into her. Make love to her with my whole body. And I silently curse my broken pieces for robbing me of that pleasure.

Aimee turns and leans into me, she kisses me. And it’s a sweet, massaging kind of kiss.

“Bear,” she whispers as she pulls back.

“What?” I ask her, brushing a lock of hair out of her face so I can see every piece of her pretty eyes.

“Can I have permission now?”