Where the Darkness Goes

Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

GARRETT — AGE 18

“Dude, chill,” Will tells me, ambling up the hill as if we’re on our way to afternoon tea and not to protect his sister from some creep. Okay, he’s our friend, but he’s also a creep. “She’s still going to be there whether we break our necks running up this hill to get inside or not.”

Brendan’s red Pontiac sits just in front of where we parked, telling me he’s already here. Of course he is. Can’t be on time for practice, but by god , he’s early for her.

I shouldn’t care.

Damn it, I don’t care.

Not any more than is normal. She’s like my little sister.

Biggest lie I ever told.

I rap my knuckles against the door, listening carefully to the sounds inside, though it would be easier to hear if Will wasn’t in the background breathing like a damn wild boar as he ascends the hill.

“It’s not that steep, you big baby,” I snap behind me.

He’s laughing, because that’s what Will does. Nothing is ever serious for him. Not even his sister’s safety.

When the door opens, it’s Tessa who greets us. She’s wearing makeup like she wore to my party, though I rarely see her in it at school or around the house. Some gloss on her lips, dark stuff around her eyes. Extra pink on her cheeks, though maybe that’s from drinking.

Shit, is she drinking?

“Are you drinking?”

She balks. “ What? No.”

Her top is low cut and gives me a perfect view of just how much she’s grown up. Jesus, I feel like a creep. Maybe I’m the creep.

Fuck. Do those shorts even qualify as shorts?

My throat is tight. Is this what anaphylactic shock feels like?

“What are you wearing?” Will asks, and thank god it didn’t have to be me this time.

“Clothes.” She steps back. “Are you coming in or not?”

Will walks around me, nudging my shoulder with his as a way to apparently bring me back from my stupor. Inside, the house is warm and smells of something spicy, like chili or cheese dip.

Who can think of food at a time like this ?

“There they are!” Britney squeals from another room before she comes bounding in, throwing her arms around Will first, then me. The hug is brief, but it comes with a cloud of flowery perfume. “Thanks for crashing the party, you two. We needed extra people anyway.” She grabs Will’s hand and nods toward me. “Tessa, can you show Garrett around really quick? Brendan’s getting the stereo hooked up, and I need Will’s help in the kitchen.”

“I don’t think he needs a tour,” Tessa says begrudgingly.

“I’d love a tour,” I argue.

Britney looks at me as if I’ve just put the star on the Christmas tree.

“He’d love a tour,” she repeats. “Did you hear that?” Before she walks out of the room, she narrows her gaze at Tessa in a way that makes me feel like this house is booby-trapped, à la Home Alone , and I’m about to fall for it.

“Fine.” Tessa steps forward, pointing around lightning quick. “Kitchen. Living room. Bedrooms are down the hall. Bathroom is at the end of the hall.”

I shove my hands in my pockets. She’s uncomfortable, and I hate it. It’s not supposed to be like this with us. She’s mad at me, though I don’t blame her. I don’t know why everything has changed for me lately. I don’t know why I can’t look at her legs in those shorts without feeling as if I’m thirteen years old again, getting hard when the wind blows just right.

I don’t understand what’s happening with me. It’s just Tessa. Except, there’s no just anymore.

It’s Tessa.

I clear my throat. “Well, that wasn’t much of a tour. You can count on my one-star Yelp review.”

She snorts with laughter, then covers her mouth with her hand. She’s always hated her snort, but it’s cute. “Fine, whatever. Come on.” She leads me into the living room from the foyer, pointing to where Brendan is bent over, plugging speakers in behind the TV. “Living room.”

He lifts up to wave. If he’s mad we’re here, he doesn’t show it. “’Sup, Campbell?”

“Hey.” I barely look his way, my eyes trained on Tessa as she leads me into the kitchen, where Britney has Will stirring something in a pot on the stove while she supervises. Seeing us walk past, she gives me a mysterious smile, and suddenly I’m uneasy.

What in the Parent Trap is going on here? Is she trying to set us up? Or maybe Tessa asked her to make me uncomfortable so I’d leave.

She ought to know better. I’m not going anywhere.

In the hallway, when it’s just the two of us, Tessa slows her pace enough for me to admit, “I feel like I’m about to walk into a trap.”

She looks back. “What? Why?”

“Because Britney keeps looking at me like she’s a hunter waiting for me to step on that suspicious-looking pile of leaves.”

She laughs again— there’s the snort —and shakes her head. “She’s just…it’s nothing. That’s just Britney.”

“I’ve been around the two of you plenty of times, and she has never looked at me like that.”

She spins around, grasping my arm. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.” The words leave my mouth like a cough, a reflex. It’s not even a question.

“Then don’t worry about it.” She drops my arm. “Bedroom’s here.” She points to a room with clothes scattered all around on the floor and across the floral bedspread. Her clothes. My eyes land on the bra on the floor and— Jesus H. Christ, what is wrong with me ? My body is a sauna.

I have seen her bra before. Hell, I’ve helped Will put away laundry before.

I’ve seen her wearing a bathing suit, too, which is basically a bra.

And fuck , now my mind is there, and I’m half hard.

I’m losing my mind.

I’m losing my damn mind.

“Bathroom’s there,” she says, and I realize she’s farther ahead of me because I’m standing in place like an idiot. I shake the clouds from my head and jog to catch up. “Her parents’ room is here.” She touches one of the doors that is shut. “Off limits, obviously. And there’s the laundry room, guest room, and this is storage.” She raps her knuckles on the last door. “Any questions?”

“Will there be a quiz?” I tease.

That earns me a look of annoyance. “We should get back out there.”

“Of course. Can’t keep lover boy waiting.”

“Nope,” she quips, and the lack of denial kills me.

“Are you two still…”

“Since this morning?” she asks, stopping in her tracks, her voice deadpan. “Yeah, we’re still.”

A lump settles in my stomach, and suddenly, I’m mad. And stupid. I’m mad and stupid, and it’s a dangerous combination. “So, uh, does Britney like Will?”

“I don’t know, why?” Her brows draw together in a perfect line.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Just asking.”

“Do you like her ?” she asks, arms folded across her chest. I detect a hint of jealousy in her tone.

Upper hand firmly in place, I give an exaggerated frown with a look that says it’s possible. “She’s cool.”

“Well, she likes Will,” she says, her voice pitchy and weird all of the sudden. “So…sorry about your luck.”

“Eh, I’m hotter than Will. Guess we’ll just have to see who has her attention by the end of the night, won’t we?”

Her eyes could melt glass as she stares at me. She doesn’t even blink. “Guess so.”

I fight the smile on my lips and step around her, making my way into the living room. I should be better than this, but I’m really not. Had I known Will wouldn’t care about his friends dating his sister, I’d have…done…something. Probably. I mean, I think I’d… Obviously. Right? She’d… I mean, it would make the most sense, of all of his friends, that she’d be into me. If I was into her, which—we’re friends. But like, maybe also?—

What is wrong with me? My internal monologue sounds like that show Jenny watches all the time. What is it? Gossip Girl or something?

Well, anyway, the point is, I need to fix this before she goes too far with Brendan. Before she falls in love with him.

“Pepsi or Dr. P?” Britney appears with two plastic cups.

“Dr Pepper, obviously,” I say, taking the second cup when she holds it out.

“Obviously,” she teases.

“Thanks.”

She takes a sip of the drink in her hand, looking around. “So, nice tour?”

“Very nice,” I tell her. “This is a cool place.”

“Thanks. That’s right, I forget you guys haven’t been here before. Tessa and I come here a lot in the summer with my family, but this place rarely gets used in the fall, so I thought it was the perfect chance to get out here with our girl.” She nods her head toward the doorway, where Tessa is lingering, pretending not to listen. “She looks pretty tonight, hmm?”

“She’s always pretty.” Tessa’s eyes find mine, clearly shocked, and I don’t know if it was a mistake to say that. Either way, it proved me right. She cares. Even if she likes Brendan, even if she’s here with him, she cares what I think. She cares about me. Maybe more than she realizes.

“Got it all set up,” Brendan says, clapping his hands just as the music kicks on. A JoJo song plays through the speakers as he walks over to her, pulling her into his arms and planting a kiss on her lips.

I’m going to vomit or kill him.

I’m going to vomit and kill him.

The sound of plastic crumpling draws my attention, and I loosen my grip on the cup in my hand before I crush it. When my eyes find Britney, I’d nearly forgotten she was still there. She’s staring at me like I’m a science experiment, her eyes gleaming.

Something is definitely up with this girl.

“What’s that look?”

“Nothing,” she says, her voice ringing with pure glee. “Very interesting, that’s all.”

“What’s interesting?” I scowl.

Before she can respond, Will appears in the room with a bowl of chips. “There’s food,” he tells me, mouth as full as his hands are.

I don’t think I’ll ever eat food again. When I look back over at Tessa, Brendan’s hand is on her jaw, talking to her so low none of us can hear it.

“Okay.” Britney claps her hands together, calling loudly, “I think we should play a game.”

“What game?” Tessa asks, pulling away from Brendan to eye her best friend with suspicion.

“Let’s see, we’ve got Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, or…” Her eyes light up, and she leaps to her tiptoes. “Seven Minutes in Heaven.” She shimmies her shoulders. “Ooh. Yes, that’s the one.”

“What? My sister is here!” Will argues before the rest of us have time to point out why this is such a bad idea.

“Don’t worry.” She puts a hand up, crossing the room into the kitchen and returning moments later with a sheet of paper and a plastic cup. “We’ll draw names. One boy, one girl. If it’s a relative, we’ll redraw. Obvs.”

“That only leaves you,” Will pouts.

Britney looks at him as if he slapped her. “Is there something wrong with me, Will Becker?”

He chuckles and pats her head. “No, Brit. Obviously not. I guess I can kiss you or whatever.”

“You’d better say that. You should be so lucky.” She huffs, but it’s playful. At least, I think it is. “I know where you sleep. If you think I won’t put Nair in your shampoo bottle the next time I spend the night at your house, you don’t know me at all.”

He pulls her into a hug, scrubbing the top of her head with his knuckles. “Shut up. You know you’re hot.”

She lets out a little hmph and goes back to scribbling our names in a line on the page. Then she tears each name out, folds the scraps of paper, and drops them into the cup.

“What if she gets someone besides me?” Brendan asks, gesturing toward Tessa like a caveman. He may as well be grunting. Her. Mine.

“It’s just a game,” Britney says, holding her hand over the top of the cup as she shakes it around. “It’s not like you guys are official or anything yet, right?”

Brendan hesitates, running a hand through his hair and looking down at Tessa. “I mean, no. I guess not. Are you okay with this?”

To my surprise, her eyes slip from his momentarily, and it’s clearly not intentional when they find mine. I’m not even sure she realizes she’s done it. Then she looks at Will. “As long as I don’t have to kiss my brother, I guess.” She fights against the growing smile on her lips, but so do I because— holy shit! She didn’t say she doesn’t want to kiss me. I’m fire and ice all at once as that realization hits me.

“Don’t make me barf,” Will says, his mouth full of chips again.

“Could you, like, stop eating for just a second?” Britney asks, her upper lip curled as she digs her hand into the cup, swirling it around. “If I have to kiss you, I swear to God, I’m making you brush your teeth first.”

Will leans forward, puckering up and shaking his head back and forth slowly, taunting her. “Come on, babe, you know you want to kiss these cheesy lips.”

She squeals and jumps back, pulling the first name out of the cup. She unfolds the paper slowly, building the tension as her lips curve into a smile, and she scans each of our faces. I feel like I might explode if she doesn’t say something right now.

What am I going to do if she says it’s him? If Tessa goes into a closet with Brendan? This game is so fucking dumb.

Why would anyone want to pla?—

“Tessa’s up first,” Britney cries, holding up the name so we can all see it.

Tessa’s hands come together in front of her, and she bounces up on her toes, not out of excitement but out of nerves.

“And…” Next name. I swear my heart is pounding so loudly I can no longer hear her. My ears burn hot as I watch her read the name, then fold it back up. Her eyes gleam as they flick up to meet mine. “Garrett.”

Everything explodes.