Where the Darkness Goes

Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

GARRETT — AGE 18

I can’t sleep.

I can’t fucking breathe, let alone sleep. How am I supposed to sleep after what just happened? It was real, and she was real, and I was…

I shake the thoughts out of my head, angry with myself for reasons I don’t totally understand. Will thinks it’s funny more than anything, but he has asked for absolutely no details so I can’t talk it over with him.

Not that I would want to, I guess.

Yet another con in the column for choosing to have feelings for my best friend’s little sister.

Choosing doesn’t feel like the right word for this. The feelings just are. They exist with or without my consent to them being here. Besides, is that what this is? Like, legit feelings? Do I want to date her?

I’ve never wanted to talk to my own little sister this much in my life. Jenny would know what to do. Other than some initial awkwardness with Brendan where nobody seemed to know if they were still a thing, and none of us addressed it, the rest of the party went off without a hitch. After we left the closet, Britney decided she didn’t want to play the game after all, which didn’t actually fool any of us, so we broke out a few board games, and Will and I kicked their butts at each and every one.

I’ve never had such an uneventful Friday night in my life.

But I’ve also never had a better one.

I scrub my hand over my face. If this is the best night of my life, and I didn’t even get to kiss her, what would more feel like? Would I survive it?

I roll over on the air mattress, bumping into Will, who groans and swats me. “Just go talk to her, bro. You’re keeping the neighbors awake with all that loud pining.”

“I am not pining.” I glare at him.

“Dude.” He props his head up on his palm. “You’re pining so hard you’re a tree.”

“You’re an idiot.”

He chuckles. “Just go talk to her.”

“You realize you’re officially the worst big brother ever, right? You’re supposed to pummel me and say we can never be friends again for even looking at her.”

He studies me, going serious. “Is that what you think?”

“It’s what I know. If anyone ever looked at Jenny?—”

“Well, people do look,” he says simply. “And they will.” He quirks a brow.

I slam a hand into his shoulder. “She’s fifteen, you asshole.”

“Hey, easy.” His hands go up in surrender, then he uses one to rub the place I hit him. “I’m not saying I look, obviously. I’m not a total creep. I’m just saying it’s going to happen.” He’s quiet for a moment. “And the way I see it, if I can’t always be around to protect her, the best thing I can do is make sure I fully trust the man who is. If I didn’t trust you to be with my sister, I wouldn’t want you as a friend.”

His words shock me, both because of what he’s said and because of how serious he is when he says them. “Thanks, man.” I clear my throat, the moment too heavy and weird. “I don’t even know if she likes me like that. It was just a game.”

He flops onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Maybe she doesn’t.”

Ice forms around my organs. “You think?”

“She doesn’t really talk to me about that sort of thing, but there’s only one way to find out.”

“Just ask her?” Even as I suggest it, I’m feeling and sounding equally skeptical. “Maybe it’s weird. I should just pretend it didn’t happen.”

He groans, covering his face. “So we can continue to not sleep? I need my beauty sleep, Garrett. I don’t know if you’re aware, but your mom doesn’t like me for my brains.”

“Last I checked, she doesn’t like you at all.”

“That’s not what she was saying last night.”

I jab an elbow at him, and he dodges, laughing. “Kidding, kidding.” He pauses, then adds, “It was two nights ago.”

I shake my head against the pillow, then swallow, the moment going serious. “What if I ruin everything?”

He’s quiet for a long time, so long I think he might’ve fallen asleep. I turn my head to look his way and see him staring at the ceiling, too, deep in thought. “Well, then,” he says eventually, “I guess it’s been nice knowing you.”

I scowl and shove him, nearly knocking him off the air mattress. “Asshole.”

“You’re not going to ruin everything,” he says with a dry huff. “If anything, you’ll just make things super awkward for, like, a week or two, and then we can all laugh about that one time you sort of fell in love with my sister.”

Love. That word hangs in the air between us, heavy and real. So real it feels impossible.

“Now,” he says, “go find her and tell her you’ve pissed the bed or something and need to talk to her. Then drag her out onto the porch and confess your love, but for the love of God, do it quietly so I can go to sleep.” With that, he flops over. “Oh, and if Brit needs some company while Tessa’s gone, tell her she knows where to find me.”

I bound off the air mattress with extra force, causing him to plunge toward the ground. He yelps, then pulls the covers up over him, still chuckling as I ease down the hall, stopping and backtracking six or seven times, practicing what I’m going to say like I’m fucking Romeo in the school play.

This is so stupid.

It’s Tessa.

It’s just Tessa.

I can do this. No big deal.

When I reach the door where the girls are sleeping, double-checking that it’s not the door to the guest room where Brendan stayed, I drop my hands to my sides, shaking them out with a long, slow breath.

Here goes fucking…everything.

I knock softly before whispering her name. “Tessa?”

When she doesn’t answer, I pull my phone out of my pocket and send her a text.

Can we talk?

Inside the room, her phone chimes, but I get no response. Maybe she’s asleep, apparently much more at peace with this whole situation than I am.

Carefully, I ease the door open. “Tessa?”

As my eyes adjust, I can see their bed, but my heart plummets when I realize neither girl is in it. The comforter is thrown aside, and both pillows still have indentations from their heads, but they are nowhere to be found. I step farther into the room, spinning to look behind me. Their phones are charging with cords against the wall, but they’re just…gone.

What if she’s in Brendan’s room? It doesn’t answer where Britney is, but?—

I dart out into the hall, seeing red as I move in a haze. When I spot a door down the hallway to my left. I freeze.

What the…

Moonlight shines in through the storm door from outside the back doorway of the house. I step closer. It’s standing wide open, and it definitely wasn’t before.

I would’ve noticed.

The images of Amber Allen’s memorial flash into my head, her photo suddenly replaced with Tessa’s face. Without a single thought, I race out the door, shoeless and shirtless, in a rush to get to her.

The night is quiet, the air cold and foggy. It’s a perfect night for whatever horror movie I’m apparently about to live out.

Where did you go? I scan the surroundings, making my way across the wooden deck and down the stairs. My socks are soaking wet and muddy as I stomp down the yard. Britney’s car is still here, parked in front of Brendan’s, which is in front of ours.

So they either didn’t leave, or they didn’t leave alone.

I’m about to dash back inside and get Will’s help when a sound shoots through the air. I freeze, every hair on my body standing at attention.

I hold my breath, trying to listen.

Several seconds pass before I hear it again, but when I do, it’s unmistakable. The sound of Tessa’s laugh sends warmth through my veins, and I rush toward it.

She’s okay.

She’s okay.

She’s…naked?

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demand, sounding more like my father than I ever have as I stalk toward the lake. The shore is covered in clothes, discarded here and there haphazardly, and Tessa and Britney are swimming in the murky water, apparently naked.

Both girls squeal and cover themselves, though I can’t see anything except bare shoulders.

“What are you doing?” Tessa whisper-screams. “Go back inside.”

“Like hell. Do you have any idea what time it is? It’s not safe. The town has a curfew for a reason.”

“There’s no one out here,” Britney says. “Relax, Dad .”

“There’s a murderer running around our town, and you guys are out here skinning dipping on a dark and foggy night. Have you two seen, like, any horror movie ever?” I wave a hand toward the house. “Why didn’t you tell us you were sneaking out of the house, so we could’ve at least kept an eye on things?”

“Because you would’ve spied on us or tried to join us, and we didn’t want either,” Tessa says. “We’re fine.”

I cross my arms. “It’s freezing. You’re going to get sick.”

She splashes water in my direction. “We’re fine. Go away.”

“Get out of that water before I come in there and make you come out.”

“That’s what you want to do anyway, isn’t it?” Britney taunts. “Maybe I should just leave you two alone.”

“No!” Tessa cries.

I bite down on my cheek so hard it hurts. “Are you scared of me, Tessa?”

“No,” she says, but her voice quivers. It’s not for the reason it seems, though, and we both know it. She’s not scared I’ll hurt her. She knows I’d sooner die. She’s…she’s scared of what might happen if we’re alone. If we’d had a few more minutes in that closet.

“Get out of the water before I come and get you.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“You’re acting like a child.”

“You’re acting like a parent.”

Britney laughs. “Okay, okay. Turn around, and I’ll get dressed and go inside, and then you two can work this out however you see fit.”

I do as I’m told, closing my eyes as I hear splashing in the water and then squishy footsteps behind me. There are a few hurried breaths, and then Britney sighs right behind me. “Okay, it’s safe.”

I turn back around to find Britney dressed. She wrings water out of her hair before heading for the house. “Alright, you two. Play nice, you hear me?”

Tessa’s stubborn ass is still in the water. She crosses her arms and sticks out her tongue at me. “Party pooper.”

“I’m not being a party pooper. It’s not safe.”

“We were perfectly fine until you came along.”

I click my tongue. “I disagree. It’s freezing. You’re probably going to get pneumonia. Come on. Get out of the water.”

“Oh my god.” She lifts defiant fists and slams them into the water. “Is this what it’s going to be like now?”

“What?”

Behind me, I hear Britney shut the door to the house, but I barely register it. All I can focus on is the fact that Tessa is just feet away from me and completely naked.

I try to think of something else. Anything else.

Sweet potatoes. Spongebob. Books. Socks. Mr. Feffernan. Gym class. Toe rings. Toes in general. That one time I fell on stage during the class Christmas pageant in front of the whole school.

“We kissed, and now you think you can control me?” Tessa has moved closer, so now I can see just a little bit more of her and the view is intoxicating. I can’t even pretend to look away.

“I’m not trying to control you,” I balk, though to be fair, I guess I am. “Or if I am, it’s because you scared the shit out of me. Whoever killed Amber Allen and her mom is still out there. The parents are scared. The police are scared. When I realized you were missing, I just…” I puff out a breath. “Panicked. You’re so stubborn, it drives me mad sometimes.”

“Maybe that’s why I do it.” She’s fighting a smile, but I see it in her eyes.

“Yeah, I kind of thought so.” I wrinkle my brow, waving a hand at her. “And, for the record, we didn’t kiss.”

She purses her lips. “That’s what you’re thinking about right now? God, you’re such a guy.”

If you had any idea what I’m thinking about right now… “I’m just saying. What happened in the closet was a kiss I’d give my grandmother, and even that was interrupted.”

“Whatever, Garrett. The point is that I’m not a child. I’m not your little sister. You can’t boss me around.”

“I can, and I will if it means keeping you safe. Now I’m going to turn around, and you’re going to get dressed so we can go back in the house and get warm.”

“Fine. Go inside. I’ll meet you in there when I’m good and ready.”

“Like hell.”

“Then I guess you’re going to have to come and get me.”

I lock my jaw. If I get in that water, we both know what’s going to happen. “Is that what you want?”

“No. I wanted to swim with my friend. But since you ran her off, I guess you’ll have to do.”

“If I get in that water, there won’t be any swimming.” My throat is as dry and scratchy as sandpaper. “I’m going to haul you out of there and take you inside.”

“And then what?” She stares up at me with big doe eyes, and I can’t believe this is actually happening.

I swallow, looking above her head. “Tessa.”

She takes another step closer, and the water is barely covering her breasts. She’s shivering, too. The heat in me instantly shifts, offering a semblance of relief. “You’re cold.”

“I’m fine.” I know she’s trying to fight it, but she can’t. It’s fifty degrees out here, and I know that water is probably colder. Why won’t she just admit it?

I’m done. I march into the water, and it’s freezing. Somehow colder than I imagined. It’s waist deep before I reach her, and I’m pure ice when I stop in front of her. “Out of the water. Last warning.”

She blinks.

I bend down, wrapping my arms around her waist and hauling her out of the water. I don’t look—much—but the feeling is enough. The sensation of her against me sends firecrackers through my brain, every nerve in my body on high alert. I don’t think I even take a breath until we reach the shore.

To my surprise, she looks pleased. We’re face to face, nothing but my soaking-wet clothes between us, and this girl doesn’t look scared at all. I guess I’m terrified enough for the two of us.

“Did you peek?” she whispers, teeth pressing into her bottom lip.

I clear my throat, but my voice still comes out as a croak. “I’m really trying to be a good guy here.”

She shrugs one shoulder. “Since when?”

Carefully, I ease her down onto the ground. Her feet squish in the mud beneath us. “Get dressed, okay?” Even as I say it, I don’t let her go. My hands are still around her waist, still holding her close as she shivers against me. She twists her fingers up into my hair, staring right back. It’s like she’s begging me to look, and at this point, how could I not? “You’re going to catch a cold.”

“Only because you insisted on bringing me out of the water. I was perfectly adjusted to it.”

I press my lips together, shaking my head. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Now, clothes. Please. And if you want to go swimming, go during the day, okay? Preferably in summer. And, at the very least, let someone know you’ll be out here, okay? If not me, then Will. At least until they catch the killer.”

She grabs her clothes, thankfully, pulling on her sweatpants. I keep my eyes on the sky, though I don’t turn away. “Why? Why does it matter to you so much?”

I can’t help looking at her then, but it’s her eyes I find as she pulls a shirt over her head. What a silly question. “Because…you’re you.”

“I’m me,” she repeats, nodding as she gathers her hair in her hands and squeezes the water out. “Your friend.”

“My friend,” I say slowly. This feels like a trap, and suddenly, all the courage I’d summoned moments ago feels like a distant memory. “Among other things.”

“Like?”

“You’re…you know what you are.”

“I’m your best friend’s little sister,” she says slowly. “That’s what I know.” She pauses. “Unless you tell me differently.”

“Do you…want me to tell you differently?”

“I want you to do whatever you want.” She blinks up at me, waiting.

“I—”

“Yo!” Will’s voice cuts through the night, and I don’t know whether to hate him or thank him. “Get inside.”

Something’s wrong.

“Give us a minute, Will,” Tessa begs.

He rounds the house, barefoot and holding his phone to his ear. “It’s Mom, Tessa. Someone else died. Emily.” Even in the darkness, I know he’s looking at me as he says her name. “Emily Gray was just found dead.”