Where the Darkness Goes

Chapter 34

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

GARRETT — PRESENT DAY

Once again, I’m torn between my best friend and the woman I love. Will would never be okay with me telling Tessa about the jewelry or any of the rest of it, but I had to.

I’m sick of lying to her. I’m sick of other people’s drama being the thing that keeps my heart broken. I could handle it when I thought it was just me. When I thought she was happy.

But I’ve seen how unhappy she is. I’ve seen how she lights up when we’re together, how she must wonder, how she must hate me for everything I’ve done—most of which she still doesn’t have an explanation for.

Will is on his way home right now, and when he gets here, I’m going to ask that he tell her everything. I’m going to demand it in fact. And if he won’t, I will.

I love him. He’s a best friend and a brother to me. I would and have gone to lengths to protect him beyond what I could previously fathom. I’ve stood by his side and chosen him time and time again, but enough is enough.

Out of bed, I dress quickly and find Tessa sitting in the living room on the couch, leaning forward over her knees, hands folded together atop her legs. She’s staring into space, processing, and I’ll give her as much time as she needs to do just that.

“You have cookies from Overflow.” Her matter-of-fact tone slices through me. She’s hurting, and it’s my fault.

The cookies. I’d completely forgotten about them. It feels so stupid now. “Um, yeah. I had some things to do in town yesterday evening, and they sounded good.”

She rests her chin on her fists. “You didn’t get them for me, then?”

I consider lying even more than I already have about the errands, but something stops me. “What do you think?”

Her face softens slightly as she finally turns her head to look at me. “It’s very sweet of you.”

“You deserve to have someone who does nice things for you. And who remembers which restaurants you like.”

“And that someone should be you?” She’s still not moving, so I don’t either.

“It should be whoever you want it to be, but…I’d like to put my name in the running, yeah.” The joke falls flat, but she smiles, even if it’s sad and a little lost. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry,” I tell her. “It doesn’t matter that I am. It doesn’t fix anything, but I wanted you to know anyway. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you back then. I’m sorry I couldn’t be honest. I really am trying to work on that.”

She turns her head to look at me, a very clear picture of anger and sorrow painted across her face. “Just be honest with me. Is that the reason we broke up? The jewelry?”

“I swear to you it isn’t.”

She stands now, her eyes a bit glazed as if she’s looking through , rather than at , me. “That night of your graduation party when we…”

She doesn’t need to say the words aloud for me to know what she means. That blush on her cheeks reveals all of her thoughts.

“Yeah.”

“You hinted that there was a reason you broke up with me that you couldn’t talk about.”

I run my tongue along my teeth. “Yes, there is.”

“What is it?”

“It’s complicated.”

She sighs, starting to walk away, but I catch her arm. “Wait, please. I will explain everything. I swear I will.”

“When?”

“Today. As soon as Will gets here.”

“Why?” she demands, hands out to her sides. “What does any of this have to do with my brother?”

“It’s just…not really my secret to tell.”

“You broke up with me over Will.” Her tone is pointed. “What? Because he asked you to?”

“No.” The answer is quick and sharp and honest. Will never wanted us to break up. In truth, I’m not totally sure he realizes when we did. He was so buried in the rest of it. “No. But he needed me.”

“And you had to choose?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Of course. Why would it be?” Again, she starts to walk away, but she stops and spins back. “That night…you were drunk, and we…”

Suddenly, she’s so shy.

“Yes,” I say, saving her. “I remember.”

“Was it because you were drunk or because you still wanted me?”

I roll my neck, pleading with her. “I wasn’t that drunk, Tessa. I wanted you then as much as I’ve ever wanted you, as much as I want you now. I never knew how to stop.” Even when I wished I did.

Slowly, she nods. Then, before I’m ready, she’s out the door, and this time I can’t think of a single thing to say that might change her mind.