Where the Darkness Goes

Chapter 35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

TESSA — AGE 17

Are you coming over today?

The text I sent Garrett is still sitting on my phone from this morning, unanswered. It’s not like him to ignore me for so long. I want to ask him about the photos Will has. Surely there’s some explanation, but Will won’t give it to me if so.

He won’t speak to me at all, actually. He wouldn’t look at me this morning in church, and we sat on the pew with Mom in between us. Will and I don’t fight. Even when we were younger, we didn’t have the typical squabbles most siblings do. After Dad died and Mom had to take on extra jobs to keep us afloat, it was always just the two of us. We were each other’s parents, best friends, and confidants all rolled into one. We didn’t have time for petty arguments.

It’s why his friends are mine, and mine are his. We’ve always spent time together because we wanted to. Which is why now, sitting across the hall from him, knowing he’s angry with me, is uncomfortable.

It’s as bad as the one non-speaking fight I’ve ever had with Britney was.

If I tell Garrett about Will’s photos, will that make it even worse? More than anything, I just want to understand, but maybe this is one of those things a sister just can’t.

Like when we were younger and Will used to tease me about the posters of *NSYNC that adorned my walls.

But this isn’t the same thing. If the photos hadn’t been of Cassidy, Amber, and Emily, I’d accept that, but those three throw a wrench into everything. Maybe he had them before and forgot to throw them away.

Maybe it’s much less sinister than I imagine. I can’t see Will hurting anyone, so maybe it’s just some weird guy thing. If I want to stay sane, I have to believe that’s the case.

With a sigh and shreds of a plan taped together, I cross the hall and knock on his door gently, hoping he can hear the apology in the soft thuds.

“Will? It’s me. Can we talk?” I wait for a while, then add, “Please?”

I get no answer except for the volume on his TV being turned up. This isn’t like him. I’m starting to worry now.

“Will, please,” I shout over the TV.

When I get no response, I twist the knob and push the door open slowly, giving him plenty of opportunity to shout or slam the door shut. When he doesn’t, I step inside.

He’s curled up in a ball on his bed, his back to me, a hooded sweatshirt on with the hood pulled up over his head. I grab the remote from his side and turn the TV off. Quickly, he rolls over, glaring at me for a second. Then, just as fast, he turns back toward the wall.

I pat his calf. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? You have to know I wasn’t trying to snoop. Why would I do that? When have I ever done that? I was just looking for a charger. I know you’re not a bad person. I know you didn’t hurt Cassidy or anyone else for that matter.” I pause, but he doesn’t acknowledge me or move in any way. “I hate fighting with you. Talk to me, please.”

“Go away,” he grumbles.

“Why?” I try to roll him over, but he fights me. “You’re scaring me. Seriously. What is going on?”

“Nothing,” he snaps. “I just don’t want to talk to you. We aren’t friends, okay? You’re my annoying little sister. That’s it. I have to put up with you, but it doesn’t mean I want to. Maybe it’s time you deal with the fact that I don’t tell you everything. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe it’s time we stopped telling each other anything at all.”

I reel back as if I’ve been slapped, tears welling in my eyes. “I don’t understand what I’ve done that’s so wrong. We are friends. I tell you everything.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t want to hear about your stupid friends and your stupid boyfriend anymore. Did you ever think of that?”

I hear the hurt in his voice even if I don’t understand it. “Is this about Garrett?”

“No.” He scoffs. “I’m just over it, Tessa. Leave me alone.”

“Over what? Maybe you should talk to someone. If not me, maybe Pastor Charles or Mr. Taylor at school. I know the school counselor is supposed to be cheesy, but he’s really?—”

“Leave me alone!” he bellows, rolling over on the bed and lunging at me. My heart skips a beat, but he stops himself, almost like he’s afraid of his own outburst. The anger disappears from his face, and he turns away, burrowing his face farther into the mattress, defeated. “I don’t want to talk to anyone in this stupid, fucking town.”

I’ve heard my brother curse a few times in my life, but never at me. Never like this. The person I’m staring at is unrecognizable. “Is this about Cassidy? I know how bad you must be hurting and how much you cared about her?—”

He jumps from the bed, storming across the room. “Get the fuck out of my room, Tessa, before I do something I can’t take back.”

I flinch. “What did you just say?”

“Just go.” There’s a flicker in his eyes that scares me. Something dark and dangerous and impossible to reconcile with the brother I’ve known for the past seventeen years of my life. That man feels miles away now, impossible to reach.

“Why are you being like this?”

“Tessa!” he barks.

“What’s going on?” Garrett is there standing in the hallway, and I have no idea how much he’s heard or what he must think of us. I’m just so relieved to see him.

I run to him, throwing my arms around his waist, and sink into the peace he brings me. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

His arms come around me, but it’s brief and distant. He pulls back just as quickly. “I’m going to talk to your brother, okay?”

“Okay.” I back up as he disappears into the room and shuts the door in my face. He didn’t realize how close I was, probably, but if anyone can solve this and get Will back to normal, it’s Garrett.

Still, that doesn’t stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks. What is happening to my brother?