Where the Darkness Goes

Chapter 44

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

GARRETT — PRESENT DAY

I’m not ready to say goodbye.

“She’s going to wake up,” Will says. He’s sitting next to Tessa’s bed, looking at her, but he’s talking to me. It’s about the eighty-fifth time he’s said it today. It’s as if he thinks he can speak it into existence.

Science doesn’t work that way. We’ve lost enough people by now to know that. If it did, Frannie would be back to normal. She’d be getting her happy ending, too.

We shouldn’t have left her. We should’ve told her the truth before. If Tessa dies right now, it’s our fault. It’s my fault. I will never forgive myself.

I called Sheriff Ward on the way to the house, and Mark headed over too, but we were the ones who made it first. Will damn near killed us on the way, but all that mattered was making it to her in time. I don’t take chances when it comes to her safety, everything else be damned. Call me obsessed. I don’t care.

Mark was there next, with Sheriff Ward just behind us.

“She’s going to be so mad about the bandage.” His hand goes to the thick, white gauze around her head. “She always said white wasn’t her color.” He starts to laugh, but he chokes on his laughter, and it quickly turns into a sob. His hand goes over his mouth as he clasps his sister’s hand. “She has to wake up.”

Other than that, he doesn’t say much, just stares at her, but he hasn’t left her bedside since we got here nearly three days ago. Neither of us have.

His cheeks are sallow, the whites of his eyes bloodshot. I imagine I look the same. We need sleep and food and something to drink besides hospital coffee, but we’re both too stubborn to leave the room to go get it.

She should be awake by now. That’s what the doctors keep telling us. She’s unconscious from the blows to the head when he attacked her. She was out before I got to her. I’ll never forget the way she looked, lying there, face down. I thought she was dead. I was pretty sure I died, too. I collapsed next to her, a ringing sound in my ears as I turned her over and screamed—begged her to wake up to come back. Mark and Will managed to disarm Charles and hold him down while we waited for the sheriff, but it was by sheer dumb luck. He was disoriented, distracted, and it was two against one.

She has a skull fracture, and had minor brain bleeding, but the doctors fixed her. They told us they fixed her. She’s coming back to us.

I’m not ready to say goodbye. She has to come back.

I pace at the end of her bed, watching her eyes for signs of movement.

Will holds her hand and strokes the top of it with his other. “How soon are we going to tell her everything else?” He’s trying not to cry as he asks. “About Britney. And Mabel going to the police.”

I dry my eyes. “The second she wakes up,” I tell him. “No more secrets.”

“She’s going to take all the credit,” he tries to joke through his tears again.

I can’t think enough to joke, but I know it’s what he needs right now. He might be all I have left of this family. My family. “She’ll never let us live it down. It’ll be the Smash Bros winning streak of 2004 all over again.”

Pastor Charles’s downfall can’t be credited to just one person, though. Not Tessa, though I’ll let her claim credit as long as she wants. Not us. Not even Mabel. Over the course of the past three days, we learned that Britney called the police about Pastor Charles the day before she died to let them know about Ms. Frannie’s warning. She also confessed to her sister, Kristy, about the affair with the pastor, so a petition for a paternity test had already been ordered with her autopsy.

Sheriff Ward had been putting all of the pieces together, going back years to get it all lined up, so Mabel coming forward meant he was able to put all the final pieces of the puzzle in place.

The man we all trusted, the man supposed to help this town, is sitting in the county jail right now, and most of the town couldn’t be happier. He’ll post bail, probably, and there will be people in this town who side with him or believe him, but I’m not going to worry about any of that unless I have to. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. The truth is out there—the real truth.

Cory’s and Britney’s names have officially been cleared of speculation. Mabel is picking up the pieces of her broken life. Things are safer here for the first time in years.

Now, we just need Tessa to wake up. To open those pretty eyes.

We tried. We tried to get there to save her, but it wasn’t enough. I pulled him away from her with every ounce of strength I had. I protected her until the sheriff got there. And I’d do it again. I’d trade places with her if I could.

I’m not a hero. I’m a coward too scared to lose the woman he loves.

Nothing is good without her. Tears sting my eyes, and I walk away, pouring another cup of this terrible coffee and downing it quickly.

“She’s going to wake up,” he says, but I’m not so sure he’s talking to me. “It’s not going to be like Mom.”

I sit down in the chair and close my eyes, hoping with everything in me that he’s right.

When I wake, Will is still asleep in his chair, his head thrown back, snores echoing through the room. I stand up slowly, trying not to wake him, and sit on the bed next to Tessa.

Slipping my hand into hers, I keep my voice low and plead with her, “Hey, beautiful.” I press a kiss to her fingertips and smooth her hair down. “Look, you have to wake up now, okay? I’m, um, I’m not ready to say goodbye. Do you hear me?” My voice cracks, and I drop my head. “You can hate me. You can be pissed at me. You can never forgive me. It’s okay. It’ll all be okay, but you have to wake up. You do, okay? You do because I love you. And I refuse to live without you. Do you hear me? I love you so much it hurts. And I hate that we ever spent one day apart, but if you’ll just wake up, I’m going to make it up to you. I promise. We keep our promises, right? Come on, baby. Just open your eyes. I told you everything. We finally get our second chance, and you don’t get to leave me. Not like this. He doesn’t get to win, Tessa. Do you hear me? That man took you from me once. I refuse to let him take you again. I will spend the rest of my life groveling, begging for another chance, if you just open your eyes.” I press her hand to my heart. “I need you, Little Bit. Open your eyes. I need you to come back and make me laugh and drive me mad and…and love me in a way that no one else can.” I lean forward onto her chest, splintering in two as silent sobs tear through me. I can’t lose her. I refuse to lose her.

And yet, I’m starting to feel her slipping away.