Who’s Your Daddy (Secret santa daddy, season four)

Chapter 14

Enzo

“I have good news and bad news.” Terrence crossed his arms and shook his head before I could continue with the rest of my start. “Okay, I have good news and crafty news.”

Changing the conversation to add in the frustrating part wouldn’t be hard, so I switched gears quickly as he nodded.

“Good news is that Sergio told them that you liked cheeseburgers, so they’re grilling instead of doing a sit-down dinner.” He hadn’t helped on purpose, but it was helpful nonetheless. “That means no pasta and you’ll have an easier time escaping if they overwhelm you or if my great-uncle Alonzo asks you something inappropriate.”

When Terrence just cocked his head, I realized I’d never used his real name. “The old relative who’s got the memory issues. He thinks everyone new is someone he dated back in like, the roaring twenties or something, and he’s getting more and more inappropriate. I don’t know how he ever ended up married to a woman as boring as his wife was.”

It must have been a punishment of some kind, but we weren’t supposed to ask. However, he was making that really difficult based on the number of asses he kept grabbing when the family tried to take him anywhere.

He was completely banned from Walmart, and Target wasn’t looking good either at the rate he was going.

“Oh yes, I remember him.” Looking much more cheerful at the weird turn our conversation had taken, Terrence wiggled his ass. “I’m ready to be groped and look sympathetic afterward. I practiced that one.”

Of course he had.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Honestly, I did. “Carlo brought a girl to one of the family things about six months ago and she was horrified that Uncle Alonzo thought she was a boy.”

In his defense, she’d had really small breasts and a short haircut, but there was no way to explain that to a woman without it going badly about ninety percent of the time.

Even him being…well…not at his best wasn’t an excuse in her mind.

Terrence sighed. “You guys need better taste in women.”

Definitely.

“I don’t need better taste in anything because I found the best.” I just had to get him to realize that. “So you can help the rest of them make better choices.”

That almost got a giggle from him, but he still looked slightly skeptical even if he didn’t want to admit it. “Well, at the very least I can put up with Uncle Alonzo.”

“That’s going to be helpful. I appreciate it.” Walking over to him since he looked a lot less likely to shoot me, I wrapped my arms around my frustrated cutie and gave him another kiss. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

I really had been planning on slowly introducing him to my family. Terrence thrived on his own schedule and a lot of time to recharge between peopling. This was going to be hard on him.

“So they’re being very American and doing the whole cook-outside thing, but there will be lots of side dishes too. I have Carlo making sure there’s potato salad. Orlando has managed to convince his mother he really needs french fries, and Sergio is bringing a fruit tray. So there will be lots of grown-up things to eat and you can pick and choose what you think will make your little side pop out for a visit.”

I wasn’t sure anyone in the family would notice since he was cheerful and interesting to begin with, but he was worried about it, so I took it seriously.

“That’s wonderful.” Beaming at me, he gave me a quick kiss. “I like potatoes too but my little side isn’t obsessed with them, so we’re good.”

“Perfect.” We could practice staying big around mac and cheese type products later. “And to make sure getting ready is easy, we’re going to head over to my place as soon as you’re done with whatever you’ve been procrastinating about.”

He’d actually picked up the pile that was on the dining room table and reorganized it, so I knew he was avoiding something.

Yep.

He sighed.

“I’m processing, so we can go now.” Frowning, he gave his laptop a thoughtful stare. “Would it be rude to bring my computer with us? You said it’s a sleepover so I can see your place, but Leander said we can’t bring work on dates.”

“I can see his logic, but I’m your Daddy and it’s a sleepover, not just a date. So that changes the expectations.” His eye lit up, so I continued with my logic since he seemed to like it. “It’s more like me keeping you for a while and that means I have to be accommodating. It’s the rules.”

Oh, he liked that.

“We have to be mindful of the rules or Leander pouts.” My cutie seemed to think that was completely reasonable or maybe just expected because he kept going. “But you’re right. This isn’t just a date where we do something for a few hours and you take me home. You’re keeping me.”

Since he didn’t seem to mind that, I nodded. “And that means we have to bring things that you need or will make you happy. Your computer. A few toys, maybe? Oh, and I already packed you an overnight bag with pajamas, comfy clothes, and date clothes.”

“Planner Daddies are the best.” Nearly sighing that out, he kissed my cheek. “Thank you. I need my computer stuff and a stuffed animal and some books, please. I will get the computer.”

When he gave me another cute peck and stepped back, I realized he’d given me his thoughts and was ready to move on.

“Alright.” The rest of our conversation could wait. “You start packing the office stuff up that you need and I will finish the rest. Then we’re heading to my place.”

So he could take a shower with hot water and nest before it was time to go.

If there was a better word to describe it, I didn’t know one, but Terrence was going to need to lay out his things and drop some random piles all over my house before he felt at home.

“Thank you, Daddy.” That made him stop halfway back to his desk and frown. “Thank you, Enzo .”

His wince made me fight off laughter.

“I’ll remember that. It’ll be fine.” Standing straighter like he could will that into happening, he nodded. “Yes. It’ll be fine.”

I felt a bit like there should be an announcer in the background that pointed out it would not be fine, but I was a good Daddy and kept that to myself. I was more worried about my family driving him crazy than anything else, but Terrence would just have to see that for himself.

“It will.” Heading out of his office, I ignored my frustration that the house was too quiet and went to the playroom. “We’re going to get the house done tomorrow. Shit just comes up and that’s the nature of the business.”

Usually, it wasn’t family drama and busted water heaters, though.

I’d told him that I didn’t think it would last much longer but the idiot plumber who’d fleeced him before had given him other feedback. If I’d been his Daddy during the original discussion, we’d have come to a different conclusion, but as just his contractor I could see why he’d been skeptical.

It was nice to be right, though.

“Alright, books and stuffed animals and then a couple of grown-up toys.” Terrence had been too frustrated for his afternoon fun, so that was high on my to-do list once we got to my house. “That will probably clear up his mental block too.”

Just hopefully not too much because we had a few hours until dinner but that might not be enough time for him to fully obsess over whatever was frustrating him.

“Pack, orgasm, shower, dinner, work.” Yes, it was a fairly long to-do list but it was one we could get accomplished. “Then tomorrow I’ll finish up the fucking kitchen and tackle the water heater.”

Plumbing was not my favorite thing to do, but it was better than having him give money to a flake who lied and took his money.

“It’ll be fine.” I was starting to sound like Terrence, but with both of us manifesting positive energy, it had to work.

****

“Oh, that’s…” Terrence stopped dead in his tracks as he walked into my living room. “That’s my something crafty…from the good and bad thing. This is my crafty.”

“Yes.” Smart subs were amazing. “It started out as a family tree project that Orlando had to do in high school, but he kept expanding it because he’s obsessive and it’s a smart way to introduce everyone.”

Most families probably didn’t have to use those big trifold science fair boards for a family tree but there were a lot of people in our family.

“You’ve got pictures and notes.” Getting completely distracted, Terrence dropped his stuff where he stood and didn’t even notice when I caught his computer case before it hit the floor. “This is much better than just giving me names.”

Yep, he had vivid pictures in his head.

“I’m glad.” Smiling as he got more focused on the project and tuned out the real world, I shook my head and carried everything over to the couch. “You just take a few minutes and look it over. If you have questions, just let me know.”

“Yes…that’s…I’ll…” He seemed to think he’d given me good information but his voice simply trailed off without the rest of his thoughts.

He’d find reality sooner or later, so I decided to start nesting for him.

One stuffed animal on the couch.

Office stuff in the dining room since I didn’t use it anyway.

The rest of his toys and goodies in the bedroom.

By the time I’d laid out his clothes and made sure his toys were within easy reach, Terrence had started talking to himself in the living room. “That’s the one who only makes pies because she can’t cook anything else. That’s weird. Pies are hard, but I won’t say that since it’s not polite.”

The one-sided conversation just got funnier as he talked about the stories he’d heard from us, but my favorite part was when he got to Uncle Alonzo and giggled. “Yes, you look like you had a naughty boy phase when you were younger. But man, you’re like a thousand now.”

He wasn’t wrong but I managed not to laugh as I closed all the curtains at the back of the house and made my way back to the living room. I was prepared to wait for him to finish surfacing, but he glanced over at me and smiled. “This is wonderful, and you guys are all on here too.”

We really needed to put our faces on the fucking website next time we redesigned it.

“I’m glad it’s helpful.” He must’ve heard the honesty in my voice because he smiled wider and headed in my direction.

When he was wrapped in my arms and looking like he felt more confident, I kissed his head. “Okay, your computer stuff is on my dining room table since I don’t use it at all.”

That got a giggle out of him as I pointed in the direction he’d need to go to find his stuff. “Your teddy bear is on the couch and the rest of your toys are in the bedroom. He’s a construction worker, so it’s cute and I’m allowed to get you something adorable to help seduce you. It’s a well-known dating fact, so besides teasing me, no one will think to question it.”

Letting out a deep breath, Terrence nodded. “That’s a good point. I haven’t dated enough nice regular guys to have dealt with that.”

He’d just dated dickheads.

“You’re a quick learner and I’m going to make sure I point out as many of those things as I can think of.” So he didn’t out himself accidentally. “The rest of your stuff is in the bedroom. Would you like to look at the board more or are you ready for an orgasm or a shower?”

I loved the fun questions I got to ask him so logically, and I loved how happy they made him too. He sighed and snuggled into me, rubbing his face against my chest. “An orgasm, please. Something relaxing. Then I’ll get a shower.”

When his arm came up, I was expecting to be hugged but he just sniffed his pit. “Unless I stink?”

I managed not to laugh because I wanted him to wait to have his orgasm until we were cuddled and I was making it happen deliberately, but it was almost impossible. “Nope. You smell like you.”

“That’s good.” Mumbling something about some people being smell stupid, he cut it off fairly quickly and straightened long enough to kiss my cheek. “You’re so smart.”

“Thank you.” Kissing his head, I decided to shift us to more practical things so I didn’t accidentally make him orgasm in the living room. He was just so funny it was dangerous. “Okay, a few things to remember.”

He nodded and patted my chest. “Yes, Daddy.”

Before he could give himself crap for not calling me Enzo, I hit the highlights. “My parents live behind me. It was a strategic error I made when the price for this house was low and I hadn’t realized how fucking nosy the whole family is. Youth blinds you to important facts of life sometimes.”

He did his best not to laugh but his whole body was jerking with the effort.

“I know.” I’d been stupid. “But to prevent problems, I’ve closed the curtains in the back of the house and all the doors have been deadbolted. No one can peek in windows or let themselves in under the guise of helping me do something ridiculous.”

And his laughter finally escaped.

“I know. I know.” Shaking my head only made him giggle more. “I’m not hiding you. I’m protecting you from a thousand nosy relatives. Ignore the doorbell. It will ring. It will ring several times over the next two hours. We are not opening the door until we’re ready. Period. Not even if they say a cat is stuck up a tree.”

Terrence went very still and lifted his head. “Oh, they’re nosy and naughty?”

“Yes.” I wasn’t going to lie about that and leave him unprepared. “So don’t open the door unless you actually see fire. Not just smoke. No cats in trees. No animals hiding under their car. No help looking for one of the cousins that wandered off. The youngest at this point is about twenty. It’s a complete scam.”

That they’d already pulled on an unsuspecting and completely unprepared new girlfriend.

“Okay, no kids young enough to lose and I offer to call the cops if they need help.” Nodding to himself, he took the instructions seriously. “I’m not sure I’m the right person to help in those situations anyway.”

No.

He’d end up stuck in the tree with the nonexistent cat.

“I’m going to do my best to stay with you, but that means no wandering off or I can’t protect you.” Terrence widened his eyes but I shook my head before he could say anything cute. “No. Just no. We stay together for your protection. Once you’ve proven that you have the ability to be rude, then we’ll reevaluate.”

“But Leander—”

“Will have to fend for himself when he finally meets them and thinks manners will save him.” That was going to be fascinating to watch. “But I’m not letting you get eaten by the wolves just because Leander said you had to be nice to my relatives.”

My family believed in a very sweet-looking version of survival of the fittest.

There’d been too many women in my mother’s generation and they’d all turned out to be politely feral.

“Repeat the instructions to me.” Making it an order and deepening my voice got a sigh from my drama queen.

“I stay with you no matter what. I don’t open the door. I ignore unreasonable calls for help and I immediately find you.” Taking a deep breath, he straightened and managed to look believable. “You won’t be happy with me if manners get me eaten by wolves.”

“Correct.” Giving him a quick peck, I gave him a tempting grin to tease my bribe. “And if you do your best to remember the rules and follow them, I’ll let you pick how you get to orgasm again later.”

He was going to need an after-family orgasm to wind down…but that was fine with me.