Why Not Now? (The Blue Vista Crew #2)

2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Derek

W hen Spencer brings the brides up to the roof for a few extra photos in the moonlight, I make my escape from Ava’s presence. I’d had to psych myself up to approach her with any measure of calm before bringing her up to the roof.

I go back to ignoring her as best I can for the rest of the night, though I know where she is every second. The party is in full swing: everyone is dancing, the speeches are done, the cake has been cut, everything is operating smoothly. I’ve danced with Adalie a few times, even convincing Vic to join us for one song. I’ve danced with Kelly a few more times, as well. She’s fun and very gay, which makes her a perfect dance partner. I never hook up with guests at our events, anyway.

Unfortunately, Lis and Daze’s cousin Marie doesn’t seem to get this message even though I’ve told her about half a dozen times. She goes so far as to spill her full glass of red wine over my black dress shirt, then offers to help me change it. I remove myself from the situation and find Lis and Spencer.

“I’m going to take off,” I tell them.

“Is everything all right?” Spencer asks.

“Marie spilled wine on me. I’m soaked.”

Lis covers her mouth, but I’m pretty sure it’s to hide a smile because her eyes are sparkling with amusement. “Oh, Derek, I’m so sorry. I heard her talking about you, which is why I brought Kelly over. Marie had a bit more to drink tonight than she probably should have.”

“Did she dump it on you, or did she spill it?” Spencer asks.

“She dumped it. She offered to go downstairs and help me change.”

Spencer snorts. “What did you say?”

“I told her I don’t keep extra clothes here. So she said she’d clean these for me. Then made some suggestions regarding what we could do while we wait for them to dry.”

I shift, a little uncomfortable in my wet clothes.

“I have an extra shirt in my office,” Spencer offers.

“Nah. I’ll change when I get home. I’ll say goodbye to Daze and Sophie and take off.”

Lis laughs. “Don’t bother. I saw them sneak off a while ago. They’re probably fucking in one of the rooms downstairs.” She holds my shoulder to reach up and plant a kiss on my cheek. “Thanks for all your help with the wedding.”

“No problem. It was my job.”

“I know. I still think everyone went above and beyond for my sister’s wedding and I’m grateful.”

“Just wait until it’s yours,” I say with a wink, leaving them before they can respond. They’re not engaged, but it’s only a matter of time.

I head down to the ground floor and grab my jacket from my office. September nights are cold, and the wine is sticky.

I make my way to the lobby, where Ava is talking to someone. I can’t quite hear what she’s saying, but it doesn’t sound like a fun conversation. I pause in the staff lounge just off the lobby and eavesdrop.

“I’m sorry,” Bethany, the other photographer, is saying.

“No. It’s fine. It’s an emergency. Go. I can take transit home.”

No fucking way. I’m startled by the vehemence of the thought. But I don’t question it. There is no way I’m letting Ava take transit. Not with all the camera equipment she has on her. I step out of the staff lounge.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

The two women turn to me. Bethany shoots a look between me and Ava, and I wonder what she knows about our past relationship. Then she says, “My grandfather fell tonight. They said he’s going to be okay, but they took him to Vancouver General and I want to go make sure. I was supposed to drive Ava home.”

“I’ll take her.” I say it without hesitation and both women seem shocked. I am, too, but I don’t take it back.

Then Ava shakes her head. “No. It’s not necessary. I’ll just take transit.”

“To Kensington?” I ask. If Bethany didn’t know about our past relationship before, she’s sure going to ask about it later now that I’ve mentioned the neighbourhood where Ava and I grew up. “With that gear? Unless you’ve moved. How long is the bus trip out there at this time of night?”

It takes a moment for her to respond.

“I haven’t moved,” she says. “And it’s at least an hour.”

“Well?” Why does it matter so much that she accepts my help in this?

“No,” she repeats firmly. “I’ll be fine. I don’t need you to give me a ride.”

I clench my teeth at her words, feeling like she’s slapped me. I take a deep breath. “Let me give you one, anyway.”

Bethany nudges her with her elbow. “Do it. I’ll feel better if I know you’re getting home safe.”

Ava looks between me and Bethany, the two of us basically ganging up on her, forcing her to accept my offer.

“All right,” she finally says with a shake of her head.

She’d always been stubborn about accepting help, but that was so long ago. With needing to raise her sister, I’d hoped she would get better at it. Turns out, she hasn’t.

I lead her out of Blue Vista toward the public underground parking garage around the corner before she can change her mind.

What am I doing? I ask myself. Why did I fight so hard to give her a ride? I don’t want this woman in my car where her presence will linger like a phantom for the next eight years. I take her to my little red Subaru WRX, anyway.

“If you don’t mind,” I say as we settle in and do up our seatbelts, “I’d like to stop at my place before we go to yours. One of the guests spilled wine on me and I’d like to change.”

“Sure.”

Perfect idea. First the car, now the house. I am an idiot.

I ignore my internal dialogue and pull out of the garage onto the Vancouver streets.

Her words from the day we broke up keep echoing in my mind, combining with what she said moments ago. I don’t need you. Well. I don’t need her either.

I drive out of downtown over the Granville Street Bridge, the water of False Creek sparkling in the moonlight. Just over the bridge, I turn onto my street. For the entire fifteen minute drive, we say absolutely nothing. I don’t turn on the music, worried about what might come on and remind me of something from our past. Eventually, I park in front of my townhouse and turn to her. “You can stay or come in. It’s up to you.”

What am I doing ?

“Will you be long?” she asks.

“I shouldn’t be. I need to change. Maybe feed my cat.”

She smiles and my heart stumbles over its next beat. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“You have a cat?”

I nod and get out. She follows me.

The whole way up to my front door of the townhouse I own, I think of that soft smile, remembering how much I tried to get her to smile at me like that when we were younger. How I wanted to always make her happy.

I let us in, and Abyss runs to greet me like the good girl she is.

“Hello, your majesty,” I say as I come in and set my keys on the table by the door. “Are you happy to see me, or do you just want some food?”

Ava closes the door behind her, and follows me into the kitchen. Abyss rubs her black, fluffy body against my leg, meowing at me, so I pick her up. “I knew it. You want food.”

She makes some more whiny cat noises before I fill up her dish and leave her to it.

Ava trails behind me as I go to the living room. “I’ll be right back,” I say as she looks around.

Why did I do this to myself? Why didn’t I just walk away? Now, the woman who has haunted my dreams for the last eight and a half years is downstairs in my living room. Not that I’d ever consider taking her back after the way she broke up with me.

I shed my clothes as soon as I reach my bedroom and rummage through my bottom drawer for a pair of pants. I hesitate for a moment before taking out a pair of grey sweatpants and putting them on. Then I grab a soft white t-shirt that stretches over my chest.

I catch sight of myself in the mirror above my dresser.

“You are a fucking idiot,” I tell my reflection.

When I get back downstairs, I find Ava looking out my back door, the glass giving a view of my patio.

“Ready to go?” I say.

She turns around quickly, her eyes widening a fraction before travelling from my head to my feet, gaze lingering on my crotch. I mean, that was the point of the pants, wasn’t it?

What the fuck am I doing? I’m going to die tonight, and it will be no one’s fault but my own.

Ava blinks and her gaze shoots up to mine. I keep my face as perfectly neutral as I can.

“You got a tattoo,” she says.

I laugh. “We haven’t seen each other for a long time, Ava. I’ve got a few.”

She stares at me, and I wonder what she’s thinking. Is she wondering where the other tattoos are? I’m certainly wondering if she has any.

“Want to see them?” I ask.

Whoa now, Derek. Stop flirting with her.

Then she smiles at me again, and I can’t remember my name.

“Not today. You, um, have a beautiful home,” she says.

“Thanks.”

“Do you…” she trails off and looks away.

“Do I what?”

She clears her throat. “Share it with anyone?”

Is she asking if I’m in a relationship? Why does she want to know? “Just Abby.”

Her eyes find mine and I wish I had turned on the light. I want to see the hazel colour of them. The flecks of gold that always shone for me, making me feel like I could do anything.

“Abby?” she asks.

I nod to where the little monster has come out of the kitchen to sit on the couch, cleaning her paw, her tail tucked around her body.

“Abyss. My cat. Well. I mean, she’s the ruler here. I’m more her human slave than she’s my cat.”

The tension leaves Ava’s face as she turns toward Abyss, who blinks up at us with bright yellow eyes.

“She’s very pretty.”

“She knows it, too. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Just before we leave, Abyss jumps down and rushes to us. I think she’s going to whine at me to let her out onto her catio upstairs—it’s far too late for that—instead, she rubs against Ava’s leg, purring.

Ava crouches, stroking the little traitor’s fur.

“She knows a sucker for a snuggle when she sees one, huh?” Ava says, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

“Considering how I ended up bringing her home, you’re not wrong.”

I grab a hoodie and a ball cap, step into my black Chucks, and we head out to the car after Abyss has acquired the exact number of pets she needs and leaves us.

“How did you get her?” Ava asks as we start the drive.

At least this is a safe topic to discuss. So I tell her the story of how I adopted my cat.

“After I bought my place, I went to the animal shelter—with the intention of adopting a dog, actually. For some reason, I saw the kitten room and went in. I sat down and was playing with these little babies. They must have been just weaned, eight, nine weeks old. They were adorable.” I smile at the memory of the fluff balls scampering around. “Anyway, I was sitting there, playing, and Abyss came up and sat next to me. She watched me play with the kittens for a while. Then she climbed into my lap, curled up, and lay down.” I shrug. “That was pretty much it for me. She knew what she was doing, too.”

Ava laughs and I spare her a quick glance and smile.

“She was bigger than the other kittens. I talked to the people at the shelter, and they said she was five months old. She’d been born there, and no one had adopted her. It’s apparently really difficult to adopt out a black cat. I took her home that day.”

“So she took one look at you and was like, this is the man for me?”

“Considering how much money I’ve spent making her happy, I wouldn’t be surprised,” I grumble.

“What have you bought her?”

“Name it, I probably bought it. Cat tree, cat beds, toys, the best food, vet insurance. I built her a fucking catio. She lives like a queen.”

“Must be nice.”

At the wistful sound of Ava’s voice, I glance at her, but she’s looking out the side window. I want to tell her I would have done the same for her if she’d have let me. But I keep the words in. That’s all in the past. It’s been over for years. No matter that I still wonder what she’s doing. No matter that I still dream about her, fantasize about her coming back to me.

“So how long have you owned Blue Vista?” she asks, filling the awkward silence that descended. Our silences never used to be awkward.

“We opened it about five and a half years ago,” I say, turning onto the main road in Ava’s neighbourhood—the neighbourhood where my mom still lives.

“How did you guys get started?”

“We were at university together. Me, Vic, Spencer, and Adalie. We took a class, came up with a business plan. After school was over, Vic decided she wanted to bring it to life. She wanted to start a business and had the capital to do it. She didn’t want to do it on her own, so she asked the three of us if we would go in together. Demanded it, actually. She gave us each ten per cent.”

“You were all still close enough that she asked? How many years after the initial project did you start the business?”

I chuckle. “About two months. We were still close. Spencer kind of does that, though. He pulls people together and we kind of created a family of sorts. They’re my best friends. And now Lis, too.”

“Spencer’s girlfriend,” she confirms.

I pull up to her house and put the car in park. “They started dating about a month ago. Probably be living together before the year is up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he proposes, either.”

“That soon?”

“You don’t know Spencer. When he decides something, he goes all in.”

We look up at the house. I’d spent a lot of time there when we were growing up. It could maybe use a pressure wash and a fresh coat of paint, but the yard is neat, and the windows are clean.

“The place looks nice,” I say.

She shrugs. “It’s home.”

“How is Lacey doing?” I ask. She was only eight-years-old last time I saw her.

“She’s a teenager. How do you think?” She gives me a wry smile. “Well, thanks for the ride, Derek. I guess I’ll see you around.”

“I guess so.”

She gets out and gathers her camera equipment from where we’d stored it in the trunk. I grip my steering wheel to prevent getting out to help her. She doesn’t want my help. She didn’t before, and she doesn’t now.

Then I watch her walk toward the stairs leading to her door. I get out of the car before I’ve thought about what I’m doing. “Ava,” I call, jogging up to her.

She turns back to me, questioningly.

I pull my wallet from my back pocket and fish out one of my business cards. “If you need another ride. It’s a long trek from here to Blue Vista. With all the camera equipment, I’m happy to come get you.”

She takes the card, reading it.

“Isn’t this...” She trails off and I wait for her to finish. “Your cell number. It’s the same as in high school.”

How does she remember that? Especially since she’s never decided to use it in the eight years, seven months, and three days since we broke up.

I shrug. “Never felt the need to change it.”

“Thanks, Derek.”

I nod and turn back to my car, determinedly not looking at her again. I try to convince myself that my heart is not aching. I don’t want her anymore. I’m over her, and I have been for a long time.

I get into my car and take out my phone, sending a text.

Me:

I’m going to need to know every wedding Cindy and her team are booked to shoot.

I wait for a moment to see if he answers. He might already be busy with Lis. I look at the house in the darkness. It really could use a good pressure wash. Maybe in the spring—

My phone dings before I can finish the thought.

Spencer:

What for?

I hesitate. How much do I tell him? I’d mentioned to him that Ava and I had dated, but hadn’t said anything else.

Spencer:

Is there going to be a problem?

Me:

No problem. Just want to make sure it’s not awkward.

Spencer:

Okay. I’ll get you the dates this week. But I don’t think they’re back until November.

I sigh with relief. We have a few more weddings coming up, but they’d already had photographers booked when Vic signed the contract with Cindy. She and her team are only scheduled for a few more over the rest of this year.

Spencer is going to ask me about this later. He’ll give me time, but Spencer will want to be sure my past relationship doesn’t mess with our current business. He won’t tell Vic or Adalie unless I make it a problem. And I am determined not to let this be a problem.

I chuck my phone on the passenger seat, drop my head against the steering wheel and groan.

What the fuck am I doing?