Why Not Now? (The Blue Vista Crew #2)

30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Ava

W ith extra hours before I have to leave, I should get some work done on my portfolio. I have a bunch of pictures I’ve taken recently that need to be edited and uploaded. Instead, I sit at my computer, staring at the screen, not seeing it.

Before I leave, I go upstairs and knock on Lacey’s door. She opens it, staring at me from the space between the door and the frame.

“I’m going to work.”

She nods. “Okay.”

“I’ll be home late. Probably around ten or eleven.”

“Mm-hm.”

I sigh. “Lacey. We need to talk.”

“Why? We’ve managed this long without talking. What’s another year and a half before I leave for school?”

My mouth drops open. How have I not noticed how distant we’ve become? Because she’s right. We haven’t been talking for a long time. I’m constantly on the move, going from one job to another, trying to keep everything together, somehow missing that the one thing I failed to keep together is my relationship with my sister.

“Lacey, I’m sorry—”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ava,” she cuts me off. “I have studying to do.”

Then she closes the door. At least she doesn’t slam it.

I turn and leave the house, going out to my car. The rain of the morning has eased off, so it’s drizzling now, and I’m getting wet as I stare at it.

He paid for repairs on it, not the car itself. But he did it behind my back. He should have come to me and told me what Carter said.

Then again, if he had, would I have listened? Or would I have simply told him no? If it isn’t in my budget, I don’t want it at all.

“Ava?” Theresa calls from next door. “Why are you standing in the rain? Your car didn’t break down, did it?”

“No.” I face her, suddenly realizing that it is nice to know it’ll start every time I turn the key. One less thing to stress about. “I was thinking about something else.”

We move toward each other, meeting at the fence. She has a raincoat on, and I miss the waterproof shell Derek loaned me. My jacket is getting wet.

“Want to tell me about it?” she offers.

And because I’m an emotional wreck, I do. I tell her how Lacey is talking to Derek and not to me, how he’d paid for part of my car behind my back, how I need to go to Blue Vista and he’ll be there and it’s going to be awkward, but I have to do my job or else I’ll lose it.

When I’m done, Theresa shakes her head. “I never did like Derek. Are you sure he’s not going to tell your boss to get rid of you?”

It hadn’t even occurred to me that he might, but now she says it, I realize he could. Except…

“He wouldn’t do that. Cindy hasn’t called me to tell me not to come in, so he hasn’t yet at any rate.” I shake my head. “Anyway, I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

She waves and heads back inside while I climb into my car. As I knew would happen, it starts as soon as I turn the key. On my way downtown, I think about what Theresa said. Derek wouldn’t tell Cindy to fire me. But he might tell his friends what happened, and they might be cold toward me. Any help they’d offered regarding my photography business would no longer be available. I park in the garage close to Blue Vista, a few stalls down from Derek’s red car.

Inside, I meet Bethany in the lobby.

“How’s it going?” she asks with a smile.

I open my mouth to respond, but I don’t have anything to say. Now that I’ve gotten it all out to Theresa, I’m not sure if I want to tell the whole story over again. But I also don’t want to lie and say I’m good.

I’m saved from speaking when Spencer arrives.

“Hey, Ava. Bethany. The regular rooms are in use today, but you guys can set your things down in the meeting room if you want. Cindy should be here any time.”

I don’t move, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. But Spencer doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t bring up Derek, doesn’t even look at me with anything other than polite professionalism.

Bethany breaks the silence first. “The meeting room would be great,” she says.

Spencer leads us there, then says, “If you need something, come find me and I’ll see what I can do. Vic, Derek, and Adalie are all here as well. They’re planning to leave after the reception gets started. Lis is here and will have dinner for you. She’s planning to stagger it so one of you eats before it’s served upstairs and the other two after. I’ll be here all night.”

“That all sounds great,” Bethany says and Spencer nods, leaving us to our set up.

As I unpack my things, I wonder if Derek mentioned anything to Spencer. Maybe he didn’t? But he tells his friends everything. He told them about his father, and he doesn’t tell anyone about that. He must have told them what happened this morning. So why didn’t Spencer say something?

Cindy arrives and we go about business as usual. Most of the day, I’m focused enough on my work that I don’t think about Derek every second. Only every other second. I don’t see him. I’m not sure if that’s just how it’s worked out or if he’s specifically avoiding me. The rest of the Blue Vista crew are around at various times during the day and all of them are polite and seem happy enough to see me. Maybe he hasn’t told his friends.

When Lis finds me to tell me my dinner is ready if I want to go eat it, I head downstairs, sitting in the meeting room with my plate. I stare at the food, not able to bring myself to taste it, until someone comes in and sits across from me. Derek.

He has his hands clasped in front of him and has changed his clothes, wearing a button-up shirt that’s open at the collar. He’s exchanged his glasses for his contacts and watches me for a second as though he’s not entirely sure where to start.

“The one and only Ava Calligan,” he says. “How’s it going?”

“Going pretty bad, actually,” I respond.

He nods, dropping his gaze to his hands. “Same.” He touches the bridge of his nose in a gesture meant to push his glasses up. “Fuck.”

“Did you tell anyone?” I blurt. “That we…” I can’t say the words. Saying it out loud to him will make it too real.

He meets my eyes again. “That we fought this morning?” I can hear the pain in his voice as he says it and it echoes in my own heart. “Yes. I told them.”

“But they’re all being so nice to me.”

His brow dips in confusion. “They’re nice people.”

“They’re your friends.”

He shakes his head slightly, clearly not understanding where I’m going with this.

“You could tell them anything and they’ll believe you.”

He sighs. “Why would you think I would do that?”

“I don’t know. I just… You could.”

He rubs a hand over his face, then runs his fingers back through his hair. “This was stupid,” he mutters.

I wonder what he’s referring to. This conversation, the fight this morning, or us trying again.

He drops his hands to the table. “You said you needed me to leave. So I did. You needed space. Fuck. I probably do, too.” He pins me with a look. “One week.”

I blink. “Excuse me?”

“That’s the space you get. One week. Then we’re going to talk about this. I’m not leaving. We are not broken up. I’m still yours. You’re still mine. I’m not ready to say this is over. I hope you’re not either.” He stands and says, “Have a good Christmas.”

I watch him walk out of the room, unable to tear my eyes away from his retreating back even after it’s disappeared around the corner.

“Ava?”

I blink to find Vic leaning against the door frame, watching me sit here like a complete fool, staring into space, my dinner getting cold in front of me as I play the conversation in my mind over and over.

“He told you?” I ask.

She crosses her arms over her chest. “He told us,” she confirms. “And as for your other fear, since I was completely eavesdropping, he also told us to treat you the same as before.”

“Why?”

She looks at me like she thinks this should be obvious. “Because he loves you. Anyway. I’m taking off. See you in January.”

I look at her in confusion.

“The next wedding?” she says. “Merry Christmas.”

Then she leaves. Like that’s all there is to it. Like it makes perfect sense that Derek is going to fight for this relationship.

I sit in the meeting room and eat the food that has gone stone cold. Not that I’m really tasting it, which is a shame since I know it would be delicious. I finish everything on the plate because I’ll need the energy to get through the rest of the night. I can do this. It’s not like I haven’t worked while completely torn apart by grief before.

I stand, taking a deep breath, and get back to it.