Wildflowers and Wide Receivers

5. Sophie

Chapter 5

Sophie

I 'm not sure what to think of the dark pink roses sitting on my kitchen table.

When they arrived at work two days ago and my medical assistant brought them into my office, I was pleasantly surprised. Although Isaac and I have been seeing each other, I didn’t think we were at the place in our relationship where he would be sending me large romantic bouquets.

And then I opened the card.

Thank you for being so good with Vivi. It was great to see you. Jonah

Jonah.

What in the world is he doing sending me flowers, and dark pink ones at that?

Of course I immediately had to look up the meaning, and dark pink stands for appreciation, gratitude, and a great way to say thank you, but these don’t feel like a thank-you; they feel like more.

Of course Isaac saw them sitting on my desk and gave me a brief “what the hell” look before dropping it. He didn’t say anything because they really aren’t any of his business, but I can understand his confusion. He asked me to dinner—just like he had every week since we started seeing each other, albeit he was hesitant with the glaring siren of scented roses situated between us—and I instantly said yes.

Yes.

I had been so excited about Isaac asking me out again this week after our date last week, but as soon as he walked out of my office, I realized my heart didn’t leap for joy like I thought it would.

It took eight minutes of being in Jonah’s presence for him to derail my life.

Rubbing my forehead, I shake my head, wondering what is wrong with me, and then reach for my glass of wine on the counter where I poured it. Isaac will be here soon to pick me up, and I need to shake out of this weird place I’m in.

Jonah was just being nice, nothing more.

I look at the roses again and try to remember the last time someone bought me flowers, and I can’t remember. They really are beautiful. I’m not sure where he got them, but they look expensive, and despite who they’re from, I really like them.

Feeling drawn to them, I move to the table, bend over, and smell them. So floral and so pretty.

I again shake my head.

I hate that I’m confused by them.

After all, they were just thank-you flowers.

Needing to talk to someone, I pick up my phone and call Camille. She answers right away, and instead of saying hello, I blurt out, “So I saw Jonah Dallmann the other day,” and then squeeze my eyes shut. Yes, I saw him before we had our Pilates class, but then, I didn’t really have anything to say. People run into past hookups all the time and don’t make a big deal of it, but then he went and sent me flowers.

“Oh really? That’s great! Was Vivi with him?” she asks.

At that, I open my eyes and picture the blond little girl with big hazel eyes.

“She was. I saw them in the office.” I take another gulp of the wine.

“Oh, she was your patient. He didn’t mention it to me, and I should have thought to ask. Isn’t she just the cutest thing ever? Jonah brought her over yesterday after school. My heart hurts for her to be in that boot. She’s pretty serious about ballet and cried over not being able to do all of the things in her class. I guess they’ve started rehearsing for the spring recital, and she was worried about not being able to perform in it. How long do you think she’ll be in it?”

“Vivi,” I mumble, seeing her sitting on the examination table, straight posture and unflappable scowl, and then I think about them at Reid and Camille’s house. Suddenly, Camille feels like a traitor to me, and she wouldn’t even know why. I understand that Reid works with Jonah, but she’s my friend. “You know I can’t talk about patients with you, but if I was not her doctor, I’d tell you most breaks heal around six weeks.” This time, I find more self-control and take a sip of the wine.

“Oh, that’s good. Poor Jonah, too. If it had been any more serious, I think the poor guy would just lose it,” she sighs into the phone.

“That seems a little dramatic,” I tell her, moving to the couch where I’ve tossed my shoes and purse for dinner and set my wineglass on the coffee table. Isaac said he made reservations for us at a trendy yet fancy place, so I’m wearing a dark-green dress that hits at the knees and high-heeled black ankle boots.

“Probably, and I should give him more credit. He’s been amazing with her and definitely handled this situation better than I would have. So tragic what happened to her parents. I still think about it every time I see her, and it’s been over two years.”

Her parents.

What?

I freeze as I’m bent over to zip up one of the boots.

Her last name was Dallmann too, so that makes her his niece.

This word drops through my head like an atomic bomb. The high, whistling pitch slides through the octaves of a musical scale until it deepens and then hits the ground. The ground beneath me that seems to shift. Not his daughter. I never even considered this, and then her word tragic registers.

“What happened to her parents?” I finish zipping the boot, slip on the other, and then turn to stare at the flowers as if they have all the answers.

“How do you not know this? We had to have talked about it at some point. It was a huge deal for a while, and the entire Tarpons organization rallied around him.”

“I don’t know, and no, we’ve never talked about him. Not once. And you know I’m not on social media.”

Well, at least I’m not anymore. After waiting for him for an entire day and feeling like the stupidest person in the world because I believed our night together meant more, I stopped looking at anything to do with sports, especially Tarpons football and deleted any app that might show him. Surprisingly, I didn’t miss them and never redownloaded them.

“Are you sure we’ve never talked about this?” she asks skeptically.

“We haven’t.”

“Oh my God, Sophie. You remember our silver-and-gold New Year’s Eve party, right?”

How could I forget? Visions of him laughing in a tux and then naked, sweaty, and above me flash through my mind.

“Of course.” I have to clear my throat.

“It was that night. His brother and sister-in-law were killed in a car accident. He got the news when he woke up on New Year’s Day and had to fly out to go to his niece.”

New Year’s Day.

I gasp.

Dread and guilt fall heavy into my stomach, and I sink back into the couch. The same couch we made out on, which feels like ages ago and yesterday at the same time.

I had no idea, but thinking back, he turned his phone on right before he left, and it lit up and chimed with messages. And through the window, I watched him sit in his car with his phone to his ear. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but then again, I didn’t stand there long enough to get caught staring at him. I had no idea he was getting devastating life-altering news.

Camille ignores my silence and continues. Internally, I’m freaking out.

“He’s her next of kin. It was awful. A lot of us flew to Boston for their funeral. I’ve always thought a grown man crying is sexy, but watching him, his uncle, and Vivi lose themselves while trying to hold it together at the same time was one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.”

Tears fill my eyes, and I close them, feeling this foreign pain for him and most definitely for that little girl I just met.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I just assumed you knew like everyone else. But call me curious. Why would I?” she asks.

Right, because she doesn’t really know about us. No one does. At least I didn’t think so. I was so hurt and embarrassed after he stood me up that I didn’t tell anyone. Yeah, I’m sure a lot of people saw us, but no one did afterward. Just me and my foolish heart.

“Because I know you saw us together the night before at your party. It just seems like something we would have talked about.” I look around my townhouse and remember Jonah being here. After I received my offer to stay on with TBPO, I thought about buying my first home, but then changed my mind, as I have no intention of staying here.

“I guess it just didn’t occur to me. That time was crazy. It was all over social media and news outlets for weeks. He was photographed at the airport on New Year’s Day. Even though he dressed in disguise, he was spotted. Dark circles under his eyes, tears on his cheeks, and grief so strong you could feel it from just looking at the image. ESPN followed the story through the funeral, and players from all across the league sent flowers and donations to a college fund for Vivi. Reid, Bryan, and Tyler found him a house in our neighborhood on the island, and while he closed down his brother’s home in Boston, Lexi, Missy, myself, and team members moved him out of his condo and got the house ready to go. We decorated a room for Vivi. We all wanted her to have a safe place when she got here. She still isn’t doing too well, and it’s been over two years. Then again, can you blame her? How sad.”

They moved him into a house.

They decorated her room.

I could have helped.

“I didn’t know,” I say, just more than a whisper.

Then again, I guess he didn’t want me to since he didn’t bother calling. Well, that’s not fair for me to say. Clearly, I’m finding out that there were a lot more important things on his mind at that moment, as they should have been.

“Yeah, but they’re hanging in there. One day at a time. I’m really proud of him. At twenty-four, he stepped up in a way not many others could.”

Twenty-four . . . that makes him twenty-six or maybe twenty-seven now. He’s six or seven years younger than me. I had no idea there was such an age gap.

Thinking of the two of them, I remember the way he wrapped his arms around her and she cried into him. The love between them was evident. Maybe that’s another reason I just assumed she was his daughter.

“She’s lucky to have him,” I say, meaning it but also because I feel like I have to say something.

“She is. So are you going to see him again?”

I jerk at her question and start shaking my head even though she can’t see me.

“I don’t think so. Oh wait, I will when they come back in for the six-week follow-up.”

Six weeks.

I’ll see him again.

“That’s good. He really is such a great guy.”

I don’t say anything because I wouldn’t know. I just let out a hum, and she continues.

“Speaking of follow-up, Reid and I had an appointment with the OB this morning, and she says the baby is the size of a large banana or a cantaloupe. Isn’t that exciting? I found a comparison picture on the internet and sent it to Reid. He was not as impressed as I was.”

I laugh. Leave it to Camille to change the mood of the room. It’s the Southern in her, and I love her for it.

“I think that’s exciting.”

“Exactly. Listen, I have to run. Reid cooked dinner.” I can hear his deep voice in the background, but not his words. I smile at the thought of him laboring over a meal for her. It’s cute.

“Yum. Tell him hi for me.”

“Will do.”

With that, she’s gone.

Moving through my house, I head to my office to find my laptop. Just thinking about them, I’m reminded of something I’ve never done before. I’m kind of ashamed of it, but at the same time, not really. From Vivi’s chart, I wrote down Jonah’s address. I don’t know why it feels like an invasion of their privacy, but I was thinking about dropping by and bringing them something at the time.

That is until I got the flowers.

Until I felt weird.

Opening the laptop, I google Jonah Dallmann and flip to the images page. Sure enough, there to be preserved forever are pictures of him from that morning after at the airport, the funeral, and others.

All this time, I thought I had been stood up.

All this time, I had filed away the memory as just an incredible one-night stand.

All this time, I tried not to resent him for leaving me waiting even though I have.

I know he didn’t have my number. It’s not like he could have called to let me know he wasn’t coming, but I always knew he could have gotten it if he really wanted it.

Now I feel selfish.

Now I feel like a shrew.

Did it cross my mind that something had happened to him? Yes. But instead of reaching out, I tucked my tail, licked my wounds, and assumed the worst. Meanwhile, he’d been dealing with the most horrific thing.

Flipping through the pictures, I see a lot of him playing football, but others are interspersed. From my cold black desk chair, I get a montage of the biggest loss of his life.

The photo that breaks me the most is one of them at the gravesite, and he’s holding Vivi, who’s younger and openly crying. Camille meant it when she said that a lot of the team flew to Boston for the funeral, as they were all standing in the background. And they were getting ready to start the playoffs and knee-deep in practices and meetings that year.

To think, all this happened just days after we were together, and I could have been there for him too. If only I’d set my stubbornness aside, called Camille, and asked for his number. She would have told me everything. I know she would have. Instead, all this happened, and I knew nothing.

The doorbell rings, startling me, and I slam the lid shut, feeling somehow caught.

Standing, I smooth down the skirt of my dress, take several deep breaths to clear my head, and move through the house to open the door. There on my doorstep in a dark gray suit with no tie is a smiling Isaac.

“Wow, you look beautiful,” he says, his eyes wandering over me from head to toe.

“You look pretty handsome yourself.” I smile back at him. And he does.

Leaning forward, he gives me a kiss on the cheek, then holds out a box of chocolate.

“I figured since you already got flowers, chocolate was the next best thing,” he says sheepishly. I hate that he’s been thinking about these flowers and what they might mean. I should tell him that they were a thank-you from a parent of a patient, because they were, but somehow that doesn’t feel right, so I choose not to say anything at all.

“Thank you. You know how much I love sweets.” And he does. Sales reps are constantly coming into our office and bringing goodies. More times than I care to count, he’s found me stuffing my face with cookies or donuts in the office break room.

“I do.” He smiles at me again.

“Let me grab my purse, and we’ll be on our way,” I tell him.

Leaving him at the door, I head to the kitchen and place the chocolates on the table next to the flowers. Glancing at them one last time, I let out a sigh. Even though I learned a whole lot about Jonah tonight, it doesn’t change the past or how things went down. I tell myself that everything happens for a reason and decide to forget about Jonah Dallmann.