Wildflowers and Wide Receivers

37. Jonah

Chapter 37

Jonah

I t’s the Fourth of July, and my need for a holiday or to celebrate is sitting at less than zero. But having a kid who thinks holidays are special means we have to honor every one.

Every. Single. One.

Not that I wouldn’t for her anyway, as these years are the magical years. Once she becomes a teenager and then older, the allure will shift and change. I know us together creating these memories isn’t ideal because she should be with John and Ashley, but the least I can do is still try to make her childhood idyllic.

“Thanks for taking us out today,” I tell Tyler as we take off toward St. Petersburg. All around us, boats are heading in the same direction. American flags are waving proudly. People are laughing, dancing, and in general having the best time. I wish I could say the same for us.

Last year, Tyler bought this boat. He had mentioned wanting one prior to that, but it wasn’t until the Tarpons gave him a three-year extension that he pulled the trigger. This boat, well, technically it’s a yacht, is thirty-four feet and designed for fishing and water sports. While it can hold a nice-sized group of people, I’d say six to eight is best, especially considering our size. Two to three in the front, two in the middle, and two to three in the back. And of course Tyler wouldn’t be Tyler if he left off a Tarpons flag and a pirate flag.

Vivi thinks the pirate flag is funny, but he’s like, “Hey, you never know what we might find.” Her seven-year-old imagination has run wild.

The boat bounces a little as it picks up speed, and I watch as Vivi holds on to Molly to keep her from losing her balance. I appreciate him letting us bring her because, inevitably, she will pee on the floor. It’s too long in one place, and well, she’s a puppy. He just shrugs and says, “This boat has seen worse,” and hoses it down like it’s no big deal. Worse meaning fish guts. While I might tease Tyler about eating at our house all the time, every time he takes the boat out, he always brings back fresh fish, Gulf shrimp, and lobsters when they’re in season.

“Of course.” He glances at me because he knows something is wrong, but doesn’t want to ask. He’s learned by now that if I want to talk about it, I will, if I don’t, I won’t. He and I are alike in that sense. He’s also had something going on this past week, which he hasn’t talked about, but I’m certain of it due to the permanent scowl on his face. Tyler is happy all the time, so his mood shift is noticeable.

The weather is beautiful today. The humidity hasn’t taken over, the skies are a deep shade of sky blue with just a few clouds in sight, and I find I’m angry that it doesn’t match my mood. Of course, this is Florida, so later in the day, we will have an afternoon summer storm, where the sky darkens and then lets its tears flow just like mine have been, but for right now, the sunniness irritates me.

Tyler turns on some music, he readjusts his hat, which he’s flipped on backward and Vivi smiles at us as it pours out of the speakers. The other day when she was talking to Sophie, I heard her ask if she ever learned how to play the piano. I didn’t even realize Vivi had an interest in the piano, but I guess I should start thinking about these things too. Little girls seem to like dance, piano, violin, cooking, art, theater, and some sports. I need to make sure I’m not forgetting anything that she might want to learn or do.

“Vivi, want to do some fishing today?” Tyler asks her. She’s sitting in the front of the boat, and I’m in the middle with him. She loves to feel the wind on her face, and I let her stretch out across the benches.

“Sure, Uncle Tyler. But no crying from you when I catch the biggest one,” she taunts him without even tearing her eyes away from the horizon.

He turns to face me, and silently, his expression says, “Did she just talk smack to me?”

I chuckle because it sure sounded like she did.

“As long as you know the rules. You catch it, you clean it.” He smirks.

We can see her thinking about this, and then she looks at us and shrugs.

“Okay.”

I’m not sure if she’s ever seen anyone clean a fish, so I’m thinking in her seven-year-old mind she’s just giving it a bath.

“We’ll get to a good spot in about twenty minutes,” he tells her. “I brought you some snacks too if you get hungry. Uncle Jonah might have a thing for fruits and vegetables, but I know what you really want.” He winks at her. “Pringles and Oreos.”

Her eyes widen as she glances at me, then her face splits into the largest smile.

“Yep, this is why I’m the favorite uncle.” He wags his brows at me. “So are you ready to report in two weeks?” he asks. There’s always this dueling sense of excitement and dread over a new season. Excitement over doing what we love in front of a house full of fans, yet dread because we know the long hours and work we’re about to have to put in. Plus teams always know when they’re going to be good or bad. This year, we’re predicted to be good. Bryan has been on fire over the past couple of years, with one Super Bowl win. Who knows, maybe we can do it again.

“Yep,” I tell him, frowning.

He laughs. “You don’t look it. Your face is screaming, ‘Please don’t make me,’ when it should be lighting up with, ‘Can’t wait!’”

“That’s not it. I just have a lot on my mind right now, and reporting in isn’t one of them.”

I did text Sophie earlier today. I wouldn’t say we’ve “broken up,” but things are just uncertain at the moment. She’s on call, so no barbecuing or joining us for fireworks tonight. If anything, she said all her fingers and toes are crossed for an uneventful night. Fireworks can go either way. Some years, there are hardly any accidents, and other years, there are dozens. Yeah, we’re all told to be responsible around fireworks, but I’ve never given it much thought to how many aren’t.

“Bro,” Tyler says, getting my attention. One eyebrow pops up over the top of his sunglasses. That’s his silent way of asking me to spill something, anything and I let out a deep sigh.

I don’t want to say too much in front of Vivi. Little ears seem to hear everything. I don’t know exactly what is happening. We’re going to talk about it at her house later this week, and it just sucks. Sucks for all of us.

I swallow once and then push the words out. “Job offer.” Just saying them makes my stomach ache.

Both brows pop now. “Where?”

I pause, not wanting to put it out into the universe, but damn if this doesn’t hurt to say on a deep exhale. “Minneapolis.”

He frowns and shakes his head a little like he doesn’t understand.

“Yeah, my sentiments exactly,” I tell him as I pull my hat down a little farther over my face.

“Did you ask her to stay?” he asks as he increases the speed of the boat.

He makes it sound so simple when it’s anything but.

“How can I? This is her dream.”

A dream I didn’t even know she had. All those hours together when I poured myself out to her, yet she chose not to tell me this. This thing that impacts us all.

“Since when?” he asks like he doesn’t believe me. Water sprays up over the front of the boat, and Vivi squeals.

“She’s from there. Her dad is there.”

He shrugs in a way that says, “So what?”

I don’t know how to explain it to him. Hell, I’m still trying to explain it to myself.

Silence falls over us as we glide across the water. Both of us are lost in thought. Eventually, we approach the bridge leading us out into the Gulf, and he slows.

“Dreams can change,” he says without looking at me.

I know he’s not wrong, but have hers? If they had, wouldn’t she have canceled the interview? And what happens if I do ask her to stay and she does out of some misguided sense of obligation because of me or Vivi? Resentment is a real thing, and I refuse to layer that between us as well.

I’ve thought of everything too. Asking for a long-distance relationship. It’s not ideal, but I would do it if she agreed. Homeschooling Vivi so she and I can go back and forth between Tampa and Minnesota during the on and offseasons. Moving there and leaving them during the season so Vivi can have stability. And retiring.

I’ve never considered retiring early. After all, who turns down that kind of money, but at some point, it’s just money, right? We have enough to live comfortably, and with the right investments, it could even grow. I just don’t know if I’m ready. My heart isn’t there yet, but I suppose it could be for her.

I do recognize that it is okay for each of us to have a dream. It’s how badly we want each other to make it work.

“Your turn,” I state, returning the raised brow and shifting in the seat so I can reach behind us and into the cooler for three sparkling waters.

His expression sours and drops into a deep scowl, and I almost laugh. Seriously, what could be so bad that he turns into this?

“New roommate,” he says, and the shock on my face has his ears turning red and his lips pressing into a flat line.

“What? Who?”

To my knowledge, the only roommate he’s ever had was his buddy Lance all through college. While Tyler is definitely one of the guys, what he’s not is someone who shares his space. Even on the road, he has some agreement with management that usually gets him his own room, unless it’s not available. He likes being alone.

“No one I’m ready to talk about yet.” He continues to frown, and this has me even more intrigued.

I try to think back to what family members he has, but I can’t come up with any. His parents are happy in Jacksonville, he’s an only child, and while he’s mentioned a few cousins in passing, none of them were frequent enough to become a roommate.

So who is it?

“You know you won’t be able to keep this a secret for long. Someone will find out soon enough, and word will travel.” I pop the top on the can, and Vivi turns at the sound. She stands to grab the drink as I hold it out for her.

“No one will find out if you keep your trap shut. Besides, it's not a big deal. She won’t be there long.”

“She?” My jaw drops.

He keeps his head facing forward and his eyes on the water in front of us as he completely ignores my question.