Worlds Collide (Fan Service #6)

30. Wolf

THIRTY

WOLF

Wherever you go, I’ll follow.

Whatever you do, I’ll cheer.

No, I’ll cheer ? What the fuck?

I scratch that last one, it’s dumb. Whatever you do . . . whatever you do . . .

Footsteps coming down the stairs have me discarding my notebook on the couch and standing to go meet CJ at the foot of the stairs. I left him barely awake and told him he had twenty minutes to get ready for work. Rich is already outside and the car is running, waiting for us.

We have to go to CJ’s place first so he can change and then we’re dropping him off at work. I’m not wasting a single second I have with him, and I’m pretty sure I’m well on my way to becoming one of those clingy boyfriends, but after what we’ve been through, I don’t give a damn .

“Morning, little rich boy,” I say cheerfully and hand him a thermos with coffee.

“Why are you so chipper?” he asks with a frown and takes it. He looks down at it, then up at me, then down again.

“You can have a sip before kissing me. I understand if the need for coffee is stronger than your love for me,” I tease him.

“Asshole,” he mutters and takes a sip. I just laugh.

“You want me to cheer you up, little rich boy?” I ask, risking ridicule, but in my eyes, it’s worth it. He looks at me for a moment, suspicion all over his face. “It’s something I didn’t want to say last night after you literally blew my mind.”

“Okay.” He sounds and looks nervous now, so I take his hand to offer whatever calm I have to give.

“Besides ‘oh, fuck, this is so hot,’ the one thing running through my mind last night was Madonna singing.” He stares at me blankly, so I sing for him. “ Just like a prayer, I’m gonna take you there. When you call my name it’s like a little prayer, I’m down on my knees ...” I trail off when I see a little smirk appear.

“I wasn’t down on my knees,” he corrects me, the smartass.

“I know,” I nod and walk him outside. “You will be someday, I have no doubt of that since you love sucking me off so much, but for your first time in a bed is best.”

He swats at my arm and I just raise an eyebrow at him, daring him to contradict me. Clearly he can’t because he changes the subject. “Who was your first time?”

I buy time while opening and closing the passenger door for him and rounding the car to climb in too. I’m sure this will not look good for me, but I did make a promise to myself to always be true to CJ, and telling him this falls under that category. “So?” he presses when I still haven’t spoken as the car starts moving out of the driveway .

“I don’t remember,” I confess.

“How?” CJ asks, innocently baffled.

“I was drunk,” I explain. “It’s one of the first times I got really drunk. I was only like, sixteen, and at some party full of celebrities and yeah, I don’t remember most of it, just snippets.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he tells me sweetly and takes my hand.

“It was a long time ago.” I shrug, but don’t let him pull his hand back.

“Yeah it was, ’cause you’re an old man.”

I hear Rich snicker from the driver’s seat and want to kick the back of it just to fuck with him. I won’t of course.

It may barely be six in the morning, but the streets are full enough to require all of his attention.

I settle in though, and the drive takes less than ten minutes—which was the first demand for a house I’d told my real estate agent about. We go up and CJ gets changed. Gracie arrives while I’m waiting and greets me with much more warmth than I deserve, but I accept the hug and even enjoy it.

“You working tomorrow too?” I ask her.

“Yeah, have another half shift from seven to twelve tomorrow night, why?”

“Birdie invited me and CJ to dinner and we’re staying the night. Thought you’d like to come too.”

“I would,” she tells me with regret all over her face. “The season isn’t even two months in and already I haven’t seen Derek in too long, but I’ll catch up with him sometime this week when we both have time.”

“All right then.”

“I’m going to go to sleep now. It’s good to have you back.” She squeezes my arm on her way to the hallway, and I just stand there. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do while? —

CJ comes out right then, thank God, and we waste no time going back downstairs.

We’re quiet on the ride to the hospital and I get out with CJ when Rich stops the car. “Just give me a minute.” He nods and drives away to let other cars pass. In the parking lot it won’t take him long at all to get back to me, so I have to make it quick, but CJ beats me to it.

He looks at the hospital then back at me. “This is pretty lame,” he says quietly.

“What is?” I’m not following.

“Well, my life. You’re this famous rock star with millions of fans and all of that and I’m just...”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I demand in a growl. “First of all you’re not just anything. You’re perfect. Second, you’re exactly the right amount of needy for me, which isn’t easy ’cause I love me some neediness. Then, of course, you happen to be the world’s most philanthropic billionaire, and you save tiny babies. For fuck’s sake CJ, get your shit straight. If anyone is punching above his weight in this relationship it’s me.”

He’s laughing before my last sentence and by the end he’s just shaking his head. Then, like he can’t help himself, he throws both arms over my shoulders and hugs me.

“So we are in a relationship, huh?” he asks quietly against my ear.

“’Course we are,” I growl and hug him back. “I think it’s a bit juvenile considering I’m almost thirty-five, but if you want to call it being boyfriends then I won’t object.”

I hear him snicker but he just lingers in the hug.

“Birdie asked us to dinner tomorrow, and I was thinking we could stay the night at the ranch?” I finally ask .

“I’d like that,” he whispers and steps back. “I’ll finish up here in about twenty-four hours and?—”

“I’ll pick you up,” I interrupt, not giving him an option to refuse. “We can drive straight to the ranch or we can stay here a while then go for dinner.”

“Okay, thanks.”

I lean in for a kiss. “Eat some breakfast, little rich boy, and don’t stop thinking about me, okay?”

He snorts. “You got it.”

I look at his retreating back and sigh like a dumbass. But who the fuck cares? I’ve gone and gotten myself a boyfriend. Miracles do exist after all.

“Hey, lover boy.” I hear Rich from behind me and turn to see him yelling through the open passenger window. “There’s paps on the other side of the lot taking pictures of you looking stupid, get in.”

I grumble and walk with my head down. Oh well, I hardly think anyone will be surprised that I’m back with CJ. Hopefully this time he doesn’t get suspended, though. Just in case, I call Tristan.

“What’s up, buttercup? I miss your surly ass already,” he answers.

“Hey, I think CJ and I were just photographed again, can you maybe call around to the tabloids and ask them that if they print anything they don’t say shit about his donations? I don’t want people flooding the hospital again and him losing his job this time.”

“You got it. I’ll make some calls, starting with your aunt’s husband.”

“Thanks.” I sigh out the word and... “I actually miss you too.”

“Of course you do, I’m awesome.” With that, he hangs up.

“Where to now?” Rich asks when I put the phone down.

“I need some damn furniture. I’m going to call for some help.”

Cindy tells me about a store that’s supposed to be exclusive enough that not many people would go there, especially so early in the morning. So after getting some breakfast and going to a meeting at my new AA group here in the city, Rich and I head over there.

I’m completely lost as soon as we enter, and Rich is no help of course, so I call the only person who’s taste I trust as much as CJ’s. My aunt Lyla answers the FaceTime call in no time, and she’s off to the races instantly.

“Wolf, sweetie, I’m so glad you called. Michael and I have a gala here next month, and they’re wondering if you could maybe donate a guitar of yours for the auction? It’s for a good cause you know?—”

“Fine, yes,” I cut her off. Otherwise she’s going to keep talking for a whole hour without a breath. I’m pretty sure Birdie got his hyperactivity from her, damn. “I’m in a furniture store and I need your help.”

“Ooh, you know I love shopping, come on, walk me around and show me what they have. Oh, and do you have pictures of your new place? I need to see what you need.”

“Yeah, sure,” I mumble and send her the link to the listing which has most of the furniture that’s in the house—except my bed. I bought that one online and it was delivered just a day before I arrived.

I spend the next half hour hearing her tell me what she thinks about every single thing I show her and it’s safe to say that I would rather be doing literally anything else, but this has to be done and today is as good a day as any.

She signs off once she gets tired of my objections. “Call me soon, Wolf. Don’t just call when you need something,” she admonishes and hangs up before I can protest that I saw her only two days ago.

I sigh and look around. Rich deserted me a while ago and is standing in a corner somewhere, making sure none of the employees or old ladies shopping in the store murder me or something.

Speaking of old ladies, one that looks kind enough—though she’s clearly got money and plenty of class—comes over to where I’m looking at dining tables and smiles kindly at me.

“Having trouble?” she asks. She has a humorous glint in her eyes that makes me like her instantly.

“Just a little,” I confess, and it’s one of those rare times when I feel like I need to explain myself. “I’ve got a new house and only have a bed, a couch, and a TV.”

“Ah,” she says, clearly understanding. “Do you want some help?”

“If you could choose everything for me?” I practically beg her and I’m not ashamed of it. She laughs in my face though.

“That I can’t do, but tell me what you need and I’ll tell you what I think. I’ve furnished more houses than I can count.”

I tell her what I need for a dining room table—for it to be stable and nothing too fussy—and she points out one that is actually perfect, so I drag her around the store doing the same with beds, couches, outside furniture and even lamps.

“I hope you don’t mind me prying,” she says while we wait for one of the employees to finish scanning everything I chose, and I can’t help but tense a little.

Every time someone has said those words to me or something similar they’ve asked about my parents, and yeah I know I’ve come a long way, I can talk about them now, but only when I’ve had time to prepare myself for it .

Safe to say I am not prepared right now.

“But did you really file a restraining order against Mary Anne Clemson?”

“Oh.” I can’t help but react with incredible relief. Then I snort. “Yes, I really did. And it worked,” I whisper the last part.

“Good,” she says with an evil smile. “She’s a bitch of the worst kind, and I bet she had it coming too.”

She startles a chuckle out of me.

“She absolutely is, and she did, believe you me.”

“But her boy, CJ, he’s a dear. You better make an honest man out of him, you hear?” Now she’s looking at me like she’s ready to throw down, and I can’t say I mind. I like that CJ has that even if he doesn’t know it.

“That’s the plan, ma’am.”

“Good. Now I have to go back home. You take care.” She’s gone before I can decide if I want to ask her name or not, but oh well, if it’s important, I’ll meet her again eventually.

I’m leaning against the SUV with Rich next to me, both of us devouring the breakfast burritos we just bought and waiting for CJ to get out of work.

During his shift he managed to tell me he wanted us to go directly to the ranch and told me exactly what clothes to pack for him, so we don’t even have to stop by his place.

I’m not an expert, not by any stretch, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a great shift for him, and I’m hoping against all hope that it’s not because of the pictures of us that went viral yesterday afternoon.

He looks tired and serious when he walks out, and he barely manages a smile when I hold up the bag with the burrito place’s logo on it.

“Thanks,” he says when I hand it to him. “Can we just go?” he asks softly and nods at the car. We climb in and are on the road to the highway in no time.

“Are you okay?” I ask softly.

“Yeah, just—” He stops suddenly to take a deep breath and then releases it on a harsh sob. “We lost a little boy yesterday,” he says, the words barely intelligible.

“Fuck, that’s awful.” Not giving a fuck about anything, I unclasp my seatbelt and scoot over to gather him in my arms.

He doesn’t say a single thing on the whole ride, and neither do I. It really puts things in perspective, this dealing with life or death every day. That’s CJ’s life, and I want to share it with him, so yeah...

Looks like this dinner is going to be the time for me to finally talk things through with Derek, because nothing is guaranteed. For anyone. Ever.

Fuck, indeed.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask CJ for the millionth time. I don’t really want to, but he was crying only hours ago. The tears did magically dry up when he met Junior, and that was love at first sight for both of them, one hundred percent, but that doesn’t mean he’s magically forgotten the shitty day he had at work.

“Yes, Wolf, I’m sure. I took a nap with Junior, I ate a lot, I showered, and then I had some quality time with you.” He waggles his eyebrows though, still looking annoyed at me for asking again .

It might grate just a little bit that he put his time with Junior before his time with me, but I let it go. My dog still prefers me, something I was assured of when he came to me instead of CJ after that nap.

“Okay, okay.” I raise my hands in surrender. “Then let’s do this.” We leave Junior inside the house since I just took him out so he could do his business, then walk to my brother’s house and thankfully, he’s the one who opens the door. He’s happy to see us and leads us to the kitchen.

“Dee said dinner will be ready in just a little, he just went to take a quick shower. What do you guys want to drink?”

“Just water,” CJ says with a soft smile.

“I’ll have a Coke.”

“Okay, you two go out by the patio, I’ll be right there.”

“You sure? We can help,” I offer with a frown. I don’t like feeling like a guest in this house—never have—and acting like one is something I like even less.

“Yes, just go.”

We do and CJ goes straight to the handrail to the right where he can stare out at most of the ranch and the ocean beyond it. I walk up behind him and sneak my arms around his waist, rest my chin on his shoulder.

“You’re the best person I know, CJ.” I don’t know what compels me to say it, but when he turns around and kisses me like his life depends on it I sure don’t complain.

“Oh, no,” Hawk squawks. “My eyes, my eyes .” I laugh into the kiss, remembering how I reacted the exact same way when I saw him making out with Deedee. But I get my composure back by the time I turn to him and give him a “you’ll pay” stare. He just smirks.

“Come on, CJ, sit with me. Wolf, you go help Dee in the kitchen. ”

I frown suspiciously at my brother. “Are you being controlling again?”

He rolls his eyes at me. “No, Dee asked me to tell you.”

“Fine,” I sigh and walk in to see Derek pulling out a huge platter from the oven. I think it was just warming up in there, because there’s a side of seared chicken breasts and the other side has brown rice with a mix of vegetables.

“It’s my season diet,” Derek says regretfully.

“Yeah, I know.” I try not to say it with a silent duh , but I’m not sure I manage it.

“Don’t just stand around, get plates and silverware.”

I snap into action and take a deep breath with my back to him once I have everything in front of me on the counter. This is it, it’s time to get my friend back.

“I’ve accepted you’re never going to be my best friend again,” I say quietly with my back still to him. There’s suddenly complete silence in the kitchen though, so I know he’s paying attention. “I understand that it’s the way it has to be. That it makes sense. You’re my brother’s husband first and last.” I do turn around then, and see a pained look in Derek’s eyes. It makes me let out all the air in my lungs and give him a tiny smile. “I know that may not be what you want to hear?—”

“It’s not,” he says gruffly. “You’re my family.”

“Yes. That’s true. We’re family. And families fight.” I have to look down at my hands, at the way I’m twisting my fingers just to have something to do with them. This isn’t a conversation I can have without looking at him though. “Especially families like ours,” I say, trying to bring humor into it. He doesn’t laugh though, which, fair enough. “Birdie is always going to get on my nerves, that’s just the way it is with little brothers, and I’m always going to be an idiot in his eyes, again the way it should be. You’re his husband. You chose him for life?—”

“I chose you too.” He speaks with more force then and only makes me smile. “I chose you as my brother.”

“But you’re going to build your life with Hawk, not with me. You’re supposed to be on his side and?—”

“I fucked up!” he shouts, interrupting me again and now he’s getting on my nerves. “I shouldn’t have left that stupid therapy session. I shouldn’t have ever told you not to say what you needed to say to Hawk. I know that, okay?”

“Then why did you?” I demand, speaking loudly now too.

“Because I was scared, and I was pissed at you for relapsing and for not letting us see you before then. I thought you were cutting us both off for good and you were yelling at Hawk which you’d never really done before and I. Was. Scared. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Yes,” I shout back. We both breathe hard for a moment until Deedee seems to deflate.

“Is this really what having a brother is like?” he grumbles.

“Pretty much,” I say simply.

“It fucking sucks. Sisters are better.”

“Mom used to think so too and she apologized to God many times for not giving us a sister.”

He snorts at that.

“Man, any time I forget, you or Hawk will say something about her that just makes me ache for not having met her.”

“She would’ve loved you,” I whisper. “She would’ve tried to steal CJ away from me, but she would also have really liked you.”

“Dumbass,” he says, with an eye roll.

It feels like before, but... he didn’t really agree with what I’d worked on with my therapist .

“So . . .” I don’t know what to say.

“So, do you forgive me?”

“Yes,” I say like it’s obvious. “But?—”

“But nothing. If you forgive me then everything goes back to the way it was before we moved to the ranch.”

“Well, no,” I refuse instantly. “I’m not moving in with you guys.”

Derek growls at me. Oh, I haven’t heard that one in a while, he’s losing his patience. “I meant we’re going to talk like we used to before, and when you’re mad at Hawk or he’s mad at you, you’ll have to deal with that without me.”

“What if I get mad at you?” I ask just to fuck with him.

“Then you will grunt and growl and we’ll deal with that too,” he says through gritted teeth.

I smile big then. God, I love this dude so much.

“No one can call you Deedee, but me,” I say like this is a negotiation.

“A guy at practice tried and he ate turf for a week straight,” he says menacingly.

“Good. Can we eat now?” I ask, like I wasn’t the one stringing the conversation along.

“Yes, for fuck’s sake.”