Worlds Collide (Fan Service #6)

Epilogue

EPILOGUE

CJ

Three Months Later

Without hesitation or even some inclination

To think about it twice,

Two worlds collide

As different as they could be

The explosion made

Their universe shine bright,

Pure emotion

But what we created was and is

And always will be the most beautiful sight

And it’s only when you look and listen in the fall

That you’ll understand how two worlds colliding

Might’ve been the miracle after all

When they cooled down,

and everything began to settle,

It was the simple contentment,

The familiar sight every day

That kept the universe transcendent.

But what we created was and is

And always will be something to balance carefully,

And it’s only when you look and listen in the spring

That you’ll understand how two worlds colliding

Could result from the flutter of a wing,

And maybe you forgot

Maybe you never looked, never listened,

Maybe you never felt it in the first place, darling

How perfect we made them,

Maybe I’m the one who failed then.

And maybe if I’d hesitated

If I’d been inclined and thought about it twice,

I would still have my own light.

Maybe then I would still feel

Like a world and not only a part of one.

But why would I ever risk losing the galax y

For a chance at a lonely universe?

This pain could never make me forget

That we had it all.

It could never erase it.

But what we created was and is

And always will be the most beautiful sight

And it’s only when you look and listen in the summer

That you’ll understand how two worlds colliding

Is no reason to take cover.

You can blame me, you can hate me,

But nothing will ever make me

Understand how and why you pushed me

So far out of your orbit.

Into the unknown, into a place

I’d never been in before and have

Not been able to escape since.

So now I watch what we created from afar,

Unable to look or listen to what was,

And is,

And always will be,

The most beautiful sight.

But what we created was and is

And always will be the most beautiful sight

And it’s only when you look and listen in the winter

That you’ll understand how two worlds colliding

Will eventually only be cinder.

Rich and I are silent in the car while we listen to the radio show Wolf and Hawk went to this morning. I have to wipe away a single tear—which is a record since I heard Worlds Collide for the first time a couple of months back. Normally, I’m a fucking mess.

The whole damn album always makes me cry like an inconsolable baby.

Wolf told me?—

All my thoughts stop when the live interview begins.

“Welcome back to our lovely listeners, and to two amazing men who have been so kind to the station for a long time now. Is it twenty years?” the radio host asks.

“About to be eighteen,” Hawk corrects. “I know Wolf looks like he’s fifty, but come on. My skin is pristine.” I hear Wolf’s quiet chuckle mixed in with the host’s and smile just picturing it.

“My apologies, Hawk, you’re right. You’re still the same little kid as always.”

“You’re forgiven of course,” Hawk says with mock seriousness.

“So this song, I mean, it’s some of the best work you two have ever done, and I can see in the writing credits your mom is there.”

“That’s right.”

“So, how was the process of getting to this final version?”

I hear Rich suck in a sharp breath. He knows as well as I that the process was painful, but in the end Wolf wasn’t going to be deterred from making this song the first single of their next album, Shell .

“Well, I wrote most of the song with Mom when she was too sick to write,” Wolf starts out. “Then I shelved it and honestly never wanted to look at it again.”

“Why’s that?” the host asks.

“It’s the story of our parents, you see, and for me it was always mostly a cautionary tale more than a heartbreak song. But then I went and fell in love with someone who you could say is from another world—at the very least his day-to-day is very different from mine—so I had to revise it, and see what I could learn from Mom.”

Wolf has said this to me before, of course, I already know all of it and more, but it’s still hard to hear him talk about it. It chokes me up.

“What did you learn?”

“That the answer is right in the song. Keep your person close, in your orbit, and don’t forget to look around and appreciate what you’ve built. Remember what you created.”

“That’s amazing, that she’s still teaching you lessons, isn’t it?”

“It’s a blessing,” Hawk pipes up and I know Wolf is probably not going to say another word for the rest of the interview so I relax against the back of the passenger seat.

“He did good,” Rich mumbles.

“He did,” I agree.

“I can’t believe they really are going to release all those songs.” He shakes his head as he keeps driving down the busy highway to downtown. Rich was kind enough to pick me up from the hospital while the guys are at the station with Tate, and now we’re on our way back to pick them up.

“And this is only the first single,” I think aloud. “It already went to number one. Can you imagine what it’s going to be like when they put out the song they wrote about her called ‘Crazy Old Lady?’”

“That’ll be nothing compared to when they release ‘Barely A Second.’ You know their fans are going to go crazy for your love song ,” he teases me. I just shake my head and throw out the more outrageous ones.

“How about all the ones Shell wrote about the music industry? About them? About cheating ?” I whisper the last word.

Rich snorts and shakes his head. “Have I told you about the day Wolf found that song?”

“No,” I say and lean in. I’m beyond intrigued. Wolf gossip is the best kind of gossip, especially coming from his best friend—well, one of them anyway.

“It was in March, I think, when we were in New York. Hawk was set to fly in so they could actually work on the songs together, and I was just watching TV, minding my business, and then Wolf started laughing. Like I’d never heard before. He laughed and laughed and laughed. It’s the moment I realized he’d healed because he actually said ‘good for her,’ and I could tell he meant it.”

I shake my head but before I can say anything Rich keeps going.

“Then he got all serious and started muttering about you, and when did she start to cheat, and why did she cheat and all of that. That wasn’t as fun. He was obsessed for a few months, watching videos on how to make sure your spouse doesn’t cheat. Seriously, it was intense.”

I can only stare with my jaw practically touching the middle console of the SUV.

“He’s worried that I’m going to cheat on him?” I demand.

“I don’t think he is anymore,” Rich is quick to answer. “I really don’t, CJ, I... Fuck, I should’ve kept my mouth shut?— ”

“No, it’s good that you told me.” We keep quiet then and hear only the end of the interview.

“Well, there you go, folks.” The host’s voice comes through the speakers. “The Storm’s new album, Shell, is coming out in only a couple of months and you can be sure you’ll be hearing it here. Thanks so much for stopping by, Wolf and Hawk.”

“Thanks for having us,” Wolf says, and then it’s advertising again.

All the while I’m thinking about how I’m going to approach the subject.

“So, you’re coming with us?” Hawk asks excitedly.

“Yes.” I tell him the good news with a smile while in the car on the way back to the ranch. “I have two days off and I’m going to use them to fly to Vegas and see Derek beat the shit out of Luke.”

Hawk laughs manically. “It’s gonna be awesome,” he cheers. “We’re staying with Bennett and Luke, and with the kiddos, and?—”

“Actually, Birdie, CJ and I are staying at the Winner resort.”

“What?” he demands. “But we’re going to visit Jules and Sterling too, and?—”

“We’re still going to do all of that, and I definitely want CJ to meet Ivan properly,” he says, talking about his hockey-playing cousin. “But I don’t want CJ to be woken up at six a.m. on his days off, so we’re staying at the hotel and driving everywhere.” Rich clears his throat forcibly from the front of the car. “Right,” Wolf amends. “Rich is driving us everywhere.”

“Okay,” Hawk says glumly. “Oh, whatever, I’ll stay with you guys, too. Let me call Bennett, I think he’s going to be relieved. ”

“I know for a fact he is,” Wolf whispers so quietly that I’m the only one who hears him.

“Be nice,” I say through a chuckle. Though I am glad that I’ll be able to sleep in for a few days.

The ride to the ranch and then to the airport is uneventful but entertaining with Hawk being well, himself, and Wolf grunting every now and then.

We leave Junior in the capable hands of Clive, who just came back to LA from Chicago where the Thursday Night Football game was this week, and then we’re off on the short flight to Vegas.

It’s only when we’re in our bedroom, about to take a short nap before meeting everyone for an early dinner, that I bring up what Rich told me. Wolf’s reaction is what I expected.

“And you can’t be mad at Rich?—”

“Of course I’m mad at Rich, he had no reason to bring it up?—”

“I mentioned the song, Max,” I say, trying to go for soothing, and it does mollify him just a bit. “Wolf,” I say softly, walking to him, and I take his arms, rubbing them up and down. “Are you really worried I’d cheat on you?”

“No,” he says vehemently. “I was worried I’d drive you away, not that you’d cheat. I know you’d rather tell me to go fuck myself and go look for someone else, than to lie. I know you hate lying. Now . I only know that now.”

“Okay, that’s good to know.”

“You’re just...” He trails off and lets out a burst of air. “You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, CJ. And compelling, and... yeah, I don’t know.” He lets his head hang down. “I just want to end every day with you next to me. That’s all I really need to be happy.”

I scoff softly but he still looks up, angry scowl ready at my reaction. “You need more than me, Wolf. Don’t kid yourself. You’d go insane without your notebook and your guitar. And Junior,” I mention.

“Okay, but you’re?—”

“Yes, maybe I’m just a tiny bit more important, but that doesn’t mean those other things aren’t important too.”

“You’re always teaching me things,” he says in a growl. An almost angry one.

I chuckle softly and go in for a hug. “I love you,” I whisper in his ear. “And I’m proud of you for working so hard on all those beautiful songs. I know it wasn’t easy.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles as he hugs me back. “I know it’ll be hard, when Birdie and I go out on tour again. Eventually. In a few years. But it won’t be as hard as being without you would be. I need you, CJ.”

“I need you just as bad,” I argue gently.

“I don’t think you do. Getting to this place with you, where we’re this happy, it’s been... Well some of it was actual hell, not gonna lie, but it’s been so worth it. And I know that if I can do that, anything else is possible too.” He leans back and cups my cheeks. “Now that I’ve got you, I’m not letting you go without a fight ever again.”

“Do you trust that I would fight for you too, Wolf?” I don’t know why I ask, I just know I need to know. And I appreciate that he doesn’t answer right away, he really thinks about it.

“I do,” he eventually confirms with a nod.

“Good. And do you think that we’ll get a break, at least for a little while, from all the fighting? I just want to be happy with you.”

“We’ll make it happen.” He looks at me with such conviction that I can’t help believing him. “I want the same thing, little rich boy. Exactly the same.”

“Then will you move in with me?” I ask, practically begging with my eyes. I don’t know why we’ve delayed making it official when we already spend all the nights I’m not at the hospital together, but now is the perfect time. “Or let me move in with you? To both your houses?”

“You really want that?” he asks, and the only reason why I’m not offended is because I can see true wonder in his eyes. He still doesn’t believe he’s worthy of some things, and I can’t fix that for him. I also can’t blame him for how long it takes.

I can only show him that I’m all in. Always.

“I want forever with you, Wolf Storm,” I tell him with a soft smile. “Everything and forever.”

His Adam’s apple bobs with a hard swallow, and instead of answering, he kisses me. He takes my lips like he’s trying to shape them into something else, like he’s trying to show me all the sides of him at the same time.

Gentle, kind, passionate, possessive, controlling, addictive, and loving.

And so, instead of taking a nap, we move closer until our worlds collide, and we create our own universe of brilliant stars.