Worth the Chance (Watertown University #2)

34. Eliza

Chapter 34

Eliza

T he past few days have been interesting to say the least and it continues to be that way as I leave my second class of the day and see Garrett sitting on a bench outside the building. As soon as he notices me he’s out of his seat and at my side with what I can only assume is a hot latte.

“Hi. I got you something.” I pause on the sidewalk as I eye the drink in his hand and then his face. There’s this little smirk on it but not like he’s trying to be sly, more like he’s hopeful.

“Thanks.” While my feelings towards him are still unsure, I thought my head was going to win out but my heart isn’t quite ready to accept that decision, I'm not going to turn down a hot beverage. The temperatures are starting to drop and the chill of winter seems to be taking over so I need something to warm me.

“Are you headed home?” He kicks at the ground with his shoe. Is he nervous?

“I’m heading to Mia’s for a study session first.” His face falls slightly but he recovers fast. I almost feel guilty that I’m not coming right home but I remind myself that I owe him nothing. I can be a kind and courteous roommate, maybe even a friend but that doesn’t mean I need to adjust my schedule for him.

“Okay, cool. Uh, are you parked in the normal lot?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll walk you.” We both start walking silently towards our cars. When we get to the lot he walks right by his truck and over to my car with me. He opens the back door for me to put my backpack in before opening the drivers door for me to hop in.

“Thanks… and thanks for the coffee.” I hold up the cup and nod to it.

“Of course, anything for you.” He smiles and shuts the door. What? What the heck does that mean?

I shake my head and put on my favorite singalong playlist. Upbeat pop songs to clear my mind? Yes, please. It only takes me two songs to get to the lot I park in for Mia’s dorm. She’s at the front door ready to greet me, as she waves in my direction. I grab my backpack from the back seat and head in her direction.

“Oooh. A latte?” She takes the drink in my hand.

“Sorry I would’ve gotten you one but I didn’t buy myself this.” Mia looks at me confused, rightfully so. “Garrett was outside my class waiting with this.” I hold up the cup and she gasps loudly as we walk down the hallway to her room. She ushers me inside, letting the heavy door slam shut behind her.

“Garrett was waiting for you?” Her eyes nearly bulge out of her head.

“Yes?”

“He is so trying to win you back.”

“Mia…”

“No El, he is! He brought in your bag, he made you your favorite dinner upon returning back to campus, followed your recipe and made you cupcakes and now he’s waiting for you with a latte? He knows he fucked up and he’s trying to make it up to you!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I say the words more for myself to not get my hopes up. I’m not going to lie the thought he was doing this because he wanted to make everything up to me crossed my mind but then I remembered he probably just doesn’t want any tension because his friend group is intertwined with my family. “He just doesn’t want there to be any animosity between us.”

“I don’t buy that.” Mia shakes her head as she plops on one end of the twin size bed. I take the other leaning against the back pillow she has and pulling my backpack up beside me. “Has he done anything else that I’m unaware of?”

“Nope. That’s it.” She eyes me as I shake my head.

“You’re lying.”

“I-”

“Eliza Mills, I learned just days into meeting you, your poker face doesn’t exist. You’re a terrible liar.”

“Ugh, fine. He may have gotten me a water bottle like the ones they have in the Love Island villa.”

“SHUT UP!” Mia screams. “He so wants you!” A water bottle is the littlest thing, really. It doesn’t mean someone wants you but damn if my heart didn’t want to crack open and tell him exactly how I’m feeling.

“It’s just a water bottle.”

“Is it, though?” Mia arches her brow.

“Mi. I appreciate that you think he wants me but he hasn’t said that and I don’t want to open my heart up to him again. I was ready to let him in and he couldn’t do the same, he didn’t give us a chance so while I appreciate everything he’s doing, it’s not going to change anything.”

“What if he told you he wanted to give you guys a real chance, would you be open to it?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug and sigh. I really don’t know. There’s my heart that’s ready to let him back in and my head that knows I need to guard myself. It would be too easy to open up to him and get hurt again. “Maybe. It’s not like my feelings have magically gone away. I still like him but I need to put myself first.” Mia nods sympathetically. “Anyways, tell me about you and Bryan.” Her face lights up at the sound of her boyfriend's name. That’s right, her boyfriend. He asked her out officially the day before Thanksgiving and honestly they are the cutest. He worships the ground she walks on and I couldn’t ask for anything better for my best friend.

A few hours later I head back to my house with a lot of different thoughts in my mind. Mia believes that Garrett is trying to grovel. While the thought crossed my mind, I truly didn’t think it was real, just a silly delusional thought. I thought everything he’s been doing the past few days was because he wants to remain friends and is hoping things won’t be awkward between us. However, looking at it from Mia’s perspective, I can see what she means. If that is what he’s doing I’m not even sure how to feel about it.

When I get in the house something smells vaguely like pine. I follow. Garrett’s sitting on the couch, his attention fully turning to me the second I walk through the door. He turns off the tv and sits up a little straighter. Why does he look nervous?

“Hey.” I toe off my shoes.

“Hi.” He stands, running his hand over his head.

I move into the living room and that’s when I see it. A seven foot, flocked Christmas tree covered in white lights. “Garrett, what?”

“Do you like it? I know you and your family love Christmas.”

“Yeah, it’s great. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He looks nervous. “Do you have a minute?”

“Sure.” I take a seat on one end of the couch and he sits on the other. Now that I’m really looking at him his face looks paler than usual. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Well kinda.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “El, I messed up. I shouldn’t have called it off with us. You’re right, I didn’t give us a chance and I regret it so fucking much. I was just… scared. There’s a lot of things that got into my head but I shouldn’t have let them.” I can feel tears prick the corner of my eyes as he speaks but I won’t let them fall. “I want to take it back.”

“But you can’t take it back.” The damage is already done.

“I know,” he sighs, “but we could start over.”

“What got into your head?” If there’s even a chance of us starting over, I’ve got to know. I need to know what’s got him so scared of falling in love.

“It’s complicated.”

“Garrett, until you can address your demons head on, there’s no hope for us. I hope one day you’re ready to address them and that you do fall in love but I can’t be held in waiting hoping for that. I think we’re just better off being friends now.” The words burn as they come out of my mouth. No part of me wants him to just be my friend, especially but it has to be this way. I can’t just wait and hope he'll do the work he needs to.

“Friends.” He visibly swallows, nodding his head slowly. I offer him the smallest of smiles before darting up to my room. It would be too easy for me to say ‘just kidding’ and leap into his arms. While it hurts right now I know this is what’s best. If he can’t open up to me we’ll just end up in the same spot we were before.