Worth the Chance (Watertown University #2)

35. Garrett

Chapter 35

Garrett

‘ N o hope for us’. ‘That you do fall in love’. The words play on a loop in my mind all night long as I toss and turn. I’ve messed up even more royally than I thought. I need to address my issues as soon as possible. If there’s even the slightest chance that I can salvage us, I need to take it. My life without her feels dull. My gray room reflects my cloudy personality that’s only made brighter by the colors she brings into it. I want that. I need that.

I pick up my phone and do a quick google search, ‘how to heal.’ I don’t know how else to word it. An overwhelming amount of responses say therapy. I groan. The idea of therapy and talking about my feelings stresses me out. How can talking about something be that helpful? But it’s a place to start I guess.

After my class I make my way over to the student health center on campus. I push open the door and am greeted by a smiling receptionist.

“Hi! How can I help you today?”

“Hi. Uh, I’m wanting to get a therapist. Can I do that here?” On the campus website it said that the school offered counseling. I didn’t really know what else to do besides show up and hope for the best.

“Sure can! We have a few different therapists here. Most are already booked today but I think we might have one with an opening. Let me check her schedule.” She clicks some keys on her computer, studying the screen. “Sharon has availability in twenty minutes if you’d like or we can schedule something for another day.”

“Yeah, Sharon’s good. Thanks.”

“Perfect! Just fill this out while you wait.” She hands me a clipboard covered in papers and a pen.

I take a seat on a couch in the waiting room, filling out the forms the receptionist handed me and damn is there a lot of them. It takes me almost the whole twenty minutes. My leg bounces up and down, nervously, as I wait for this Sharon lady to come get me.

“Garrett?” A woman, probably in her forties, approaches me.

“That’s me.” I stand up and reach my hand out to shake her outstretched one.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Sharon. Why don’t you follow me?” I follow her back behind a closed door and down a hallway until we approach a very relaxed looking room. There’s two big comfy chairs sat across from one another, both decorated with throw pillows and blankets. “You can take a seat.” Sharon gestures to the chair farthest from the door. I sit and instantly sink into the chair, wow, I need one of these.

“So what brings you in today?”

“It’s kind of complicated.” I scratch the stubble on my face.

“Well, that’s what we do here, talk about those complicated things.” She laughs lightly.

“Right.” I nod. “I’ve never really done this so I don’t know where to start. ”

“How about we start with what initiated this visit? Why is it that you wanted to come here today, specifically?”

“My girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, said I needed to confront my demons before we could ever have a chance. I don’t want to miss that opportunity with her. She’s this light that I want in my life.” From there the conversation flows easily, the next hour flying by. For the most part I just talk, filling Sharon in on all the events of my life. Here and there she inserts a piece of wisdom or validation, which I appreciate.

“Are you able to come back next Wednesday at this time?” Sharon asks at the end of the hour.

“Yeah, that works.”

“Great. We can dive more into this then. In the meantime I have some homework for you. I want you to write a letter to your younger self. It can be about anything really but highlight all the good things that are coming his way.”

“I can do that.”

I didn’t actually think I could do that but as soon as I sat down to write, everything sort of came out. It started with me just listing all the amazing things that have happened over the past ten or so years. From starting hockey, to getting drafted, to playing in college before I go to the NHL, to meeting Eliza. Little me wouldn’t even believe it. I mean ten year old me had never even played a game of hockey. The second half of the letter was more of an apology to myself. For all that I’ve put on myself. It was very therapeutic to write.

“How’s mission get your girl back going?” Alex asks as we lace up for practice.

“It’s going.” I can’t help but sigh.

“That good, huh?”

“She said there’s a lot of things I need to address within myself and she’s not wrong so I met with a therapist today.” I half expect him to make fun of me for it but I don’t think that Sharon would be proud of me for hiding that from people I’m close to.

“No shit? That’s great.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I have a therapist.” He laces up his skates. “My parents got divorced when I was thirteen and it was tough on me so my mom put me in therapy. I only see her like once a month now over a video call but having someone to talk to is great.”

“Oh shit I had no idea Alex.”

“No worries.” He shrugs. “I don’t talk about it much here but it’s all good. Therapy really does help man.”

“Yeah, I’m hoping so. There’s a lot to unpack.”