Worth the Fall (Sugar Mountain #1)

SHE’S GONE

THOMAS

W hen Brooklyn ran into my office, her face flushed, eyes filled with water and what looked like terror, I was momentarily confused.

Until she said the words, “She’s gone.”

Now, they were all I heard, repeating in my head on a loop.

She’s gone. She’s gone. She’s gone.

“What do you mean, she’s gone?” I pushed up from my desk and swore my heart had stopped beating.

“I can’t find her anywhere. She’s not hiding under my desk. She’s not in the restrooms or the conference rooms or in the elves’ house or Santa’s. I don’t know where she is, Thomas. I’ve looked everywhere.”

“You lost her? How the hell did you lose her?” The questions came out far crueler than I had meant them, and she looked like I’d slapped her across the face as tears started spilling down her cheeks.

I ran to her and pulled her into my arms, holding tight as I breathed in the scent of her shampoo. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean it like that,” I said, pulling away so that she would look at me. “I’m sorry. Just breathe.”

“I know, but you’re right. It is my fault.” She tried to stop crying as she took three long, deep inhales.

“Tell me what happened,” I said, trying not to lose my ever-loving mind.

Clara loved to wander off or hide, even though I’d told her a hundred times not to. And now, my worst fear had come to life; she was missing.

“I took a phone call and wandered a little. When I came back, she was gone. I checked outside, but I didn’t see any footprints, but it’s also kind of windy, so they might have been covered up. I retraced our steps, but she’s not anywhere. You need to call for help, Thomas. I really don’t know where she is. And she’s not wearing her jacket or hat or gloves. They’re still in my office.”

“You think she went outside?” I asked, wondering why on earth my daughter would go out there when it was damn near freezing. Plus, she knew better than that. At least, I thought she did.

“I don’t know,” Brooklyn admitted, her pain palpable. “But the decorations do continue out there. Maybe she followed them?”

“Let’s go.” I reached for her hand and pulled her as we speed-walked through the resort. “Show me where you went.”

Brooklyn nodded before leading me through the decorations. We stopped along the way, poking around, yelling Clara’s name, but Brooklyn was right. She wasn’t in here.

“The candy canes go outside over there.” Brooklyn pointed toward a pair of glass double doors, and we ran toward them.

“You don’t have a jacket.” I rubbed her shoulders as we stopped in front of them.

“I don’t give a shit about a jacket right now, Thomas. We have to see if she’s out there.” Brooklyn sounded as frantic as I felt. She didn’t wait for me to say another word before she shoved the doors open and sprinted out of them.

“Fuck, it’s cold.” I shivered once the wind blew around me. “Clarabel!” I shouted as we followed a path that I would have thought was adorable a few minutes ago, but now, I currently hated it. It was enticing and cute and made you want to follow it all the way to wherever it led.

“Clara!” Brooklyn shouted as she ran, her nose already red from the cold. “The decorations stop here,” she said as we reached the end of the pathway and looked up at the overly lit trees everywhere.

It was supposed to be dreamlike. It was currently my nightmare.

“She’s not here,” Brooklyn said as she ran around, peeking behind the giant redwoods. “Maybe she went to see Patrick?”

I nodded. At least that made sense. Clara loved her uncle and that damn dog. Brooklyn started running toward where the barn was being built as I followed behind, shouting Clara’s name every two steps, but hearing nothing in response.

It was hard to hear anything over the sound of the wind. I was thankful that it wasn’t whipping the way that it could, but it was still blowing enough that it filled the air with a symphony of its own making. Gentle howling that made the trees bend and creak, the branches swaying.

When I spotted the wedding barn, all lit up in the distance, I felt a sliver of relief. There was no reason for it, but I still felt it nonetheless.

“Patrick!” I screamed his name and kept shouting it until he ran outside and met us at the door, his hat in his hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“Clara,” I said, out of breath, my heart racing so hard that I thought it might never stop. “Have you seen her? Did she come here?”

“Clara? No. Why?” He patted Jasper’s head, who was wagging his tail like this was some happy occasion.

“We can’t find her.” Brooklyn started crying again. “We don’t know where she is.”

“And you’re not going to, dressed like that,” Patrick chastised as he eyeballed the two of us. “Get in here and get a jacket. We’ll go look.”

Brooklyn turned to face me once we were inside the barn, which wasn’t entirely warm, but at least it stopped the wind from blowing. “We need to call the police, Thomas. We need all the help we can get. And it’s getting dark.”

My throat felt like it was closing in on itself. “You’re right,” I agreed, still in total disbelief. Nothing made sense.

A part of me had assumed that Brooklyn had just missed Clara somehow and that we’d find her when we went in search of her together. But she was right. Not asking for help was only wasting precious moments. And if my little girl was out there somewhere in the cold, it was a race against time.

Pulling out my phone, I dialed 911 and filled them in as quickly as I could. Then, I called my dad in his office to deliver the news. He was as undone as I was, but I forced him to sit still and wait for the police to arrive. Someone needed to show them where the barn was located. I decided that it would be a good rendezvous point... not that we’d be here.

“The police are on their way, but I’m not waiting,” I said as soon as Patrick handed Brooklyn a jacket and me a sweatshirt. It was good enough. More than Clara had on.

“Let’s go.” Patrick smacked his hip, and Jasper was right on it. “Jasper, find Clarabel.”

Jasper barked and whined, but took off running. I hoped we didn’t lose them both.

“Clara!” the three of us shouted over one another as we covered as much ground as we could without getting turned around or lost or losing each other.

That little bit of wind blew the soft snow into the air, making our visibility shitty. If we couldn’t see that far in front of us, how could Clara?

I suddenly hated myself for not teaching her basic survival skills. We lived in a mountain town, for fuck’s sake. Why hadn’t I ever thought about that?

The three of us walked straight ahead, slowly inching closer to one another.

“Where could she be?” I asked once we stopped walking and looked around.

There was barely any sunlight left, and the flashlights Patrick had grabbed only provided so much help.

Jasper came bouncing back from who knew where and stopped at my brother’s side.

“Did you find her, boy?” he asked, rubbing the dog’s head like he expected him to talk back, but the dog simply sat down in the snow.

I had no idea what to do or where to go. It seemed like every direction only held more forest and trees. There were no buildings this far out. The chalets weren’t started yet. The barn was behind us. Nothing was out here, except for vacant land. If Clara had come this way, she could literally be anywhere.

“Let’s go back to the barn and wait for the police,” Patrick suggested, and I bristled.

Leaving Clarabel out here alone went against everything in my nature. I was her father. It was my job to protect her, to keep her safe.

“No,” I bit out. If my daughter was out here, then I should be too.

Brooklyn moved closer, and I reached for her, clasping her hand in mine. I needed her more than she realized.

“I know you don’t want to, brother. I don’t want to either, but it’s the smart thing to do. We can help more if we know how to do it right.”

The second my mind started to freak out and fill itself with the most horrible thoughts, I stopped it dead in its tracks. There was no fucking way that God, or whoever was up there, would let me lose both Jenna and Clarabel in a single lifetime. No one could be that cruel.

“We’ll make it quick,” Patrick added.

“If they take too long, we’ll leave without them. But Patrick’s right. We don’t know what we’re doing,” Brooklyn said softly.

“Fine,” I ground out, not wanting to go anywhere without my daughter in my arms, but I knew they were being logical while my emotions were in overdrive. “But let’s hurry.”

By the time we reached the barn, the police were already setting up on one of Patrick’s work tables. My dad had printed out the property lines and blueprints of the land, and he was placing them down as we walked in. They started breaking it down into grids, talking a mile a minute.

“Anything?” my dad inquired, and I shook my head.

“You didn’t find her inside the resort, did you?” I asked even though I knew in my guts that she wasn’t in there.

“No. Everyone is on the lookout, but I don’t think she’s inside,” he said with a grim look on his face.

“I know. I don’t either,” I agreed, even though I could barely stomach the thought.

My little girl was outdoors, in the cold and dark, by her damn self. I was going to ground her until she turned twenty once we found her. Right after I hugged her tight for an entire year and didn’t let her go.

“Thomas, we’ll find her,” the police chief said, but nothing registered.

I wasn’t sure I even responded to him, and I’d known him my whole life.

He walked away from me and addressed everyone in the barn before he started handing out flashlights and making sure radios were tuned to the right channel. I was only half listening, my mind trying to think of all the places that Clarabel could be. I came up empty.

“Let’s clear out,” a deep voice grumbled, and that was when I finally came to, my eyes meeting my dad’s, Patrick’s, and Brooklyn’s.

“Thomas”—Brooklyn’s hand was on my arm—“let’s go.”

I reached for her hand, craving her contact.

“Did anyone tell Matthew?” my dad asked.

I watched as Brooklyn let me go, reached for her phone, and quickly typed out a text. If she wasn’t my girlfriend already, I would have been pissed that she had Matthew’s phone number.

But she was mine.

And we were going to get through this together.

“Done,” she said.

“Thank you.” I pressed a kiss against her cheek and noticed that the tears had started falling again.

She was beating herself up for what had happened, and I hated that I couldn’t make her stop. Brooklyn wouldn’t be okay until we knew that Clarabel was.

“Of course,” she responded as she typed something else on her phone. “He’s on his way.”

There was no sense telling him not to come. Matthew would never listen, and I would never expect him to. This was too damn important.

“It’s going to be okay, baby. We’re going to be okay,” I said.

Brooklyn tried to give me a smile, but her lips didn’t seem to work.

“I need you. I can’t do this without you,” I said, hoping to break her out of the self-hating trance she was currently in. “This wasn’t your fault,” I pushed, but that only seemed to upset her more.

“Anyone seen Jasper?” Patrick asked as he whistled for his dog, but the dog didn’t come. “Jasper! Come here, boy!” he shouted into the barn, but there was no sign of the dog anywhere.

“We gotta go,” I said. “You can meet up with us if you want to look for him. Matthew’s on his way if you want to wait for him.”

“No. He’ll catch up to us,” Patrick said, and I wasn’t sure if he meant the dog or our brother. Either way, it didn’t matter.

The police were organized. And too damn slow. They walked methodically, their lights trained in front of them as they stepped in unison. I hated it. It was too careful. Too composed. I wanted them to be as chaotic as I felt, to run out in every direction until one of us stumbled upon her. Clara wouldn’t have been organized. She was most likely disoriented. It only made sense that we should be the same if we wanted to find her in time.

I looked down at my watch. “It’s almost been an hour,” I said.

Brooklyn nodded, like she’d been keeping track of the time as well.

We kept walking, my voice growing hoarse from shouting into the air, which was only getting colder since the sun had set.

“Stop!” Patrick reached for my sleeve and tugged on it. “Listen,” he shouted.

Everyone abruptly halted as the command to stop and listen echoed through their individual radios. It was deathly silent, which was eerie as hell. We waited. I held my breath. I had no idea what Patrick thought he’d heard when, suddenly, the faint sound reached my ears at the exact same time it must have reached Brooklyn’s.

“Did you hear that?” she asked, her voice elevated.

A dog.

Barking.

“Jasper!” Patrick shouted as we started running in what was hopefully the right direction. The forest could be deceiving.

“Follow that barking,” the chief instructed. “Patrick, keep that dog talking.”

“I’ll try,” he said, but he was out of breath. “Jasper! Where are you, boy? Jasper.”

The damn dog kept at it. He barked and barked like he was trying to reach us, and my chest filled with something that definitely felt a lot like hope. Jasper’s barks grew louder, which meant we were closing in on him. I prayed he didn’t stop until we found him, and I prayed even harder that he’d found Clarabel.

“Jasper!” Patrick yelled once more as we rounded a bend of trees, everyone’s flashlights hitting a pair of glowing yellow eyes. “He’s here.” He moved the light behind his dog. “She’s here!”

I dropped Brooklyn’s hand and ran as fast as I could toward my little girl, who was huddled in a ball, holding Jasper in her arms like a lifeline.

“Clarabel. Clarabel.”

I touched her. She was so damn cold.

She looked up at me, almost confused. “Daddy?” she asked.

I scooped her into my arms right as Brooklyn reached us, unzipped her jacket, and wrapped it around our little girl.

“You need to keep that on,” I growled.

Brooklyn shook her head. “She needs it more. She’s freezing.”

“Over here!” Patrick yelled toward the cops who knew better than to try to take my little girl out of my arms.

“We need to get her to the hospital, Thomas,” my dad said as soon as he reached us.

“I know that.”

“The paramedics are already on standby in the barn,” the chief added, and I was grateful for all the foresight.

Clarabel was out of it. Shivering so hard that her little body shook violently in my arms. I rubbed her shoulders, hoping to generate some heat, but I really needed to get her out of the cold.

“Good boy, buddy. You did so good.” Patrick was petting Jasper, and I glanced down at the dog, feeling like I owed him my life.

Clarabel’s eyes opened for a second. “I got lost. I’m sorry, Daddy,” she mumbled before looking toward Brooklyn. “I’m sorry, Mama,” she added before closing her eyes, and I almost fucking lost it. “I’m so cold.”

“I know, sweet girl. I’ve got you. We’ll get you warm.” I kept kissing her forehead and holding her tight against me, hoping it all helped.

My daughter was alive. And I’d do everything in my power to keep her that way.