Worth the Fall (Sugar Mountain #1)

LITTLE RUNNER

brOOKLYN

C lara is safe.

Jasper, the world’s greatest dog, had found her. I couldn’t even bear to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t. I only knew that the outcome wouldn’t have been good. Cold and wind were two deadly elements on their own, but combine them in the winter in Sugar Mountain, and they held little mercy.

Thomas rode in the ambulance while I insisted on driving myself there, shaking the whole time. I threw my car in park and ran into the waiting room of our tiny emergency room hospital. We were lucky that we had one in Sugar Mountain. Most small towns only had urgent cares that weren’t even open twenty-four hours. If something happened, the patients had to be air-lifted to the nearest hospital, which was miles away. It honestly never made any sense to me. Accidents happened all the time, day or night.

When I ran inside, I noticed Matthew, Patrick, and Mr. O’Grady fidgeting in their seats, looking incredibly uncomfortable. My best friend, Lana, and her husband, Sven, were there, too, though I hadn’t called them. Even Mrs. Green was sitting in a chair, knitting something to keep herself busy.

I wondered how they’d all found out before remembering that news traveled fast in Sugar Mountain and there was no way to stop it. I was actually surprised then that the whole town wasn’t crammed in this room, waiting for news about Clara.

When Matthew caught sight of me, he hopped up and pulled me into his arms for a hug. “Hey, sis.”

“How is she?” I asked through the emotions warring inside me.

I couldn’t seem to stop the tears from spilling over.

“They’re warming her up. It’s a slow process so that they don’t damage any internal organs or heat her too quickly. They want her to stay the night so they can keep an eye on her vitals and make sure there’s no sign of frostbite.”

“Oh God.” I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to hide my emotions.

“It’s okay, Brooklyn. She’s going to be just fine,” Matthew reassured me, even though he had no idea if that was true or not.

“Where’s Thomas?” I asked, looking around at the rest of the waiting room for any sign of him.

“He’s with her in her room. He wanted you sent back as soon as you got here,” he said.

I threw my head back in shock. “Um, do you think I should just stay out here with you guys?” I honestly wasn’t sure where my place was in a situation like this. Especially when I’d been the one to help cause it.

Matthew cocked his head to the side. “Not this again,” he sighed.

“Not what again?”

“You thinking you don’t belong with my brother and his daughter. I heard she called you Mama out there,” he said, and my heart pinged with the memory.

“She did,” I choked out.

“They love you. You love them. Now, get back there with your family.” He gave me a little shove, and my head felt like it was on a pinwheel, spinning around in circles.

“Hey, Brooky.” Lana was suddenly at my side, steadying me.

“Hi. How’d you hear?”

“Bella,” she said, and I swung my head toward Matthew, who instantly stiffened at the mention of her name.

“She sent me a text,” Matthew said for clarification. “I don’t know how she heard. Doesn’t matter, but I let her know that we found Clara and were at the hospital.”

Lana nodded. “She called me, and we came right over.”

“Thank you.” I gave her a hug.

“Of course,” she said with a smile that I couldn’t return. “Do you want us to stay and wait for you?”

“No. It’s okay. You two go home. I’ll call you if I need anything.” I had no idea how long I’d be here, and it didn’t make sense for Lana and Sven to wait around.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” I nodded.

“All right. You’d better get back there. I know a certain O’Grady who has been going crazy, waiting for you to get here.” She pulled me in for a quick hug. “Love you, Brooky.”

“Love you too,” I said.

Matthew grabbed my arm and led me toward the nurse at the check-in station.

He told her who I was, introducing me as Thomas’s fiancée, even though that wasn’t true, and made sure that I was allowed beyond the locked doors. The woman handed me a visitor sticker that I placed on my chest before heading down the well-lit hallway in search of room234.

When I reached it, my steps slowed. I peeked inside before I even thought about stepping in. The television was playing a show, but the volume was pretty low.

“Baby,” Thomas said, his voice filled with relief as Clara’s eyes shot open.

“Mama Waffles,” she whispered, and I couldn’t stop the little laugh that escaped.

When I made my way fully inside the room, Thomas shot up from his chair and pulled me into his arms, holding me tight.

“I love you. Are you okay?” He leaned back to look me in my eyes.

“I love you too,” I said, but it was weak. How could I love him when I currently hated myself?

Clara’s hands were balled up and covered in something I couldn’t quite make out. They might have been gloves or colored gauze. And she was bundled in so many blankets, one of them plugged into the wall.

“Is she okay? Are you okay?” I looked between them.

“They’re worried about her fingers, but I think we found her in time,” Thomas breathed out. “Or Jasper did.”

“He’s my hero,” Clara said, but her voice was still barely a whisper. “I’m sorry, Mama. I didn’t mean to get lost.”

“I know you didn’t. But I was really scared.” I made my way to the side of her bed and leaned down to attempt to hug her, but it was awkward, and she couldn’t really move.

“Are you mad at me?” It was her go-to question whenever she thought that she might be in trouble.

“Of course I’m not mad at you. But you can’t do that again, okay? You can’t wander off without asking or letting us know where you’re going,” I said before wondering if it was my place to dole out demands to her or not.

“I know. Daddy said the same thing.”

“But I should have been watching you. I wandered off too,” I said, shouldering the blame because I was the adult in this situation and she was just a kid.

“I thought I remembered where Uncle Patrick and Jasper were, but I got lost. And when I tried to come back, I think I went the wrong way. I couldn’t see where I was going, and it was really cold,” she explained, and my heart ached inside my chest as I imagined how scared she must have been.

“We’ll talk about it later. Once you’re better. Get some rest.” I leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.

Thomas stepped up and pulled my body against his. His strong arms wrapped around me, and as much as I wanted to melt into him, I felt myself stiffen instead.

He spun me around to face him, his fingers reaching for my chin. He tipped it up and pressed a kiss against my lips. “Baby, I see the war in your eyes. Feel it in your body. This wasn’t your fault. You know that, right?”

How can he be so forgiving?

He pulled me away from Clara’s bed and toward the other end of the room.

“I wasn’t watching her,” I said simply.

“She knew running off was wrong, but she did it anyway.”

Logically, my brain knew that Clara wandering away wasn’t really all my fault, but the emotional parts of me refused to accept it. What kind of mom lost their kid? I’d bet anything that a real mom would never lose her own child.

How could Thomas ever trust me again when I couldn’t trust myself?

“I’m going to stay the night with her. You’re welcome to stay as well, but I can tell that you need space, Little Runner,” Thomas said, reading my damn mind the way he always could.

“I’m not running,” I lied because that was exactly what I was doing. Running far, far away as fast as I could. “I just don’t like myself very much right now, and I would like to be alone while I process it all.”

“I know.” He ran his fingertips down my cheek. “But don’t take too long, or we’ll come get you,” he warned with a grin and kissed me hard.

I gave Clara one last look, grateful that she was already asleep as I slipped out the door, peeled off my visitor sticker, and tossed it in the trash.