Wrath (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #2)

Chapter 16

I ’ve barely gotten to the balcony stairs before I throw up into one of the flower pots Polly’s been scattering around the place. My hands are shaking, my body is carrying too much anger to fuckin’ contain, and all I wanna do is find my father and make him pay. I balance myself against the wall and try to catch my breath but it feels as if someone’s choking me. All that time I thought the warehouse was the worst of it but it was just the start. The suffering she endured was all my fault. I thought me leaving here was gonna save her but I got it all so wrong. How can she even look at me?

The club’s dying down, almost everyone’s gone home or is settled in the motel, and as I make my way across the yard and into the barroom. Saint or Sinner is getting his cock sucked by Trinity, and I ignore them as head for the bar. Reaching all the way over it, I take a bottle of Jack and head into the meeting room where Raze holds church.

I walk straight to the top of the long table where we make all our decisions and sit myself in the president’s chair that used to be my father’s. Then taking the gavel in my hand, I remember the smug look on that cunt’s face when he called church the morning after my initiation.

He looks pleased with himself, as he watches everyone take their seats and when I stand at the back of the room I let him see how much hate I got for him.

“I think you’ll all agree that my boy here has served his time and shown his loyalty.” He speaks to his brothers as if he knows what that word means.

“Well, his time has come, and I couldn't be prouder to present my son, and our new fully-patched member, with this.” Mac and Rex both snarl at me sarcastically as they clap their hands along with the others. Sasquatch stands up and shakes my shoulders proudly and Davy smiles as I step around the table, staring my father in his eyes and playing along with his fucked-up little game.

I let him hold it open for me and slide my arms inside it, all while looking between Mac and Rex. I notice that the fucker who wore the knuckle duster last night has joined us, and he’s got the nerve to be sitting in Raze’s fuckin’ seat! I eyeball him too and once my new cut is placed on my shoulders and my dad’s slapped my back, I glance across to Ruckus and hope he knows how sorry I am for what I’m about to do to him.

“Got any words?” The cunt in Raze’s chair rests back and crosses his arms, and I watch him and everyone else in the room change their expressions to shock when I shrug the cut back off my shoulders and lay it out on the table. Reaching around my belt, I take out my knife, slipping it under the stitches that bind the Long Beach patch onto my leather.

“Yeah, I got some words for ya.” I slide the knife back into my belt and turn my head so I can look my father in the eye.

“I’m not your son anymore and I’m not a member of this charter. I’m a nomad.” I toss his patch on the table and pick up my cut, placing it back on my shoulders and head for the door.

“You don’t get to leave boy.” He calls after me.

“I ain’t a boy anymore. I’m a Soul.” I remind him, warning him with my eyes that one day he will pay worse than all of ‘em.

“Aaron?” Ruck stands up looking confused as hell, and I shake my head “I’m sorry.” I tell him, hanging my head and getting the hell out of this place. Four of the eight men I intend to kill are in that room, it would be easy to start here, but it wouldn’t be smart. I’m much better off being by myself for a while. I need space and time to think. I need a plan to ensure each man suffers for the part they played in what happened tonight. I already know that I won’t get my vengeance on Cliff for a long while, but he’ll know I’m coming for him, and all he’ll be able to do is wait.

It took me four days to find out who the other men in that room were; by the ninth day, all five of them were dead. I pull the knuckle duster I took from the last one I killed, outta my cut and slide it over my fingers. It’s a handy little weapon that I’ve used many times over in the years since I’ve obtained it. Just thinking about using it on the man who caused all of this is about the only thing that can distract me from the agony of hearing what happened to Eden after I left. When she first came back, I was so determined to prove to her how much I’d changed. I wanted to show her that I was strong and that I could protect her. Instead, I’ve been a coward and walked away from her, again. I’m pathetic . I should never have promised her she’d be okay, and now I know just how deeply she’s suffered, I’ll never forgive myself. I pick up the bottle of Jack and unscrew the lid, knocking it back and hoping it’ll numb all the emotions battling it out in my head.

“Tryin’ it out for size?” I hear Raze laughing and when I open my eyes, I realize that I’m still in church.

“I was just…” I stroke my head when it starts to hurt and as Raze lifts up the empty bottle of Jack, he shakes his head but doesn’t look surprised.

“When d’ya think the power got to him?” I ask, looking at all the empty seats and fearing that one day I might become the man I detest.

“I don’t know, I guess when people started showin’ him their fear,” he takes the seat Ruckus usually occupies.

“People fear you and you ain’t a cunt,” I point out.

“That’s a matter of opinion,” he smirks.

“What time is it?” I’m feeling real groggy, especially when everything Eden hit me with last night comes flooding back to me.

“It’s 8 am, I’m just about to set off for Colorado. I really need to speak to this Anita woman Vex told me about.”

“Let me go, instead,” I blurt out. Right now, I need some space between me and this place.

“You wanna go all the way to Colorado?” Raze looks surprised

“I need to go, Raze. Eden told me some shit last night, shit that’s made me even more determined to find Cliff.”

“What kinda shit?”

“The kinda shit she needs to tell you herself. It’s worse than what we thought.” I hang my head in shame.

“You tell me, right the fuck now what you know.” He pierces me with his eyes.

“Cliff killed her family, he killed her cat, and then while I was off lickin’ my wounds he took her to his house and kept her there.” I glance up, and when I see his face, I know I don't need to say anymore.

“I want him fuckin’ dead!” Raze stands up, slamming his fist on the table and shaking with fury.

“He will be. Let me go find this woman and let me speak to her. We’ll find him.” I may be struggling to believe that my father was ever in love, but if this crazy woman has answers I’m prepared to try.

“And what about Eden? It kills me to say it but… Wrath, she needs ya.” He steadily lowers himself back into the chair as it starts to sink in that his sister was abused by Cliff.

“Raze, I need some space from here. I need to try and find some kinda peace with what I let happen to her. It was my fault. I left her, Raze, and I have to live with knowin’ that none of what happened to her after that night would’ve gone down if I’d stayed.”

“And none of it would have happened at all if I wasn’t in fuckin’ jail.” Raze looks back up at me with a newfound determination. “There’s one person who’s to blame for all this, and that’s your fuckin’ father,” he tells me, his jaw is tense, and there’s pure fuckin’ fury in his eyes.

“I need to do this,” I tell him, seriously. “I need to be the one who fixes it. And I need a few days on the road to clear my fuckin’ head,” I beg him because right now, all I wanna do is tear this place the fuck up.

“You can go.” His answer surprises me. “Hell, I got problems of my own to deal with.” He shakes his head as his hand slides over his mouth.

“What kinda problems?” Now I’m curious, I thought I’d have to put up a much harder fight than that.

“This kinda problem.” Reaching into his cut, he takes out a white stick and carefully places it on the table between us.

“Congratulations, how far along are ya?” I somehow manage a smile for him.

“I found it in the bathroom trash, yesterday when we got back from New Mexico. Peyton was talkin’ with Eden after you upset her and I went home alone for that rest. She must have taken it before we left.” he explains.

“It looks positive to me.” I lean forward and read the result.

“It is, which makes me wonder how I spent a twenty-hour round trip, in a car with my old lady, without her tellin’ me she was pregnant with my kid.” I can’t read his expression but I’m sensing that he’s somewhere in the middle of angry and disappointed.

“I see what ya sayin’.” I sit back in my chair and watch as he stares hard at the stick Peyton must have pissed on.

“So, ya happy ‘bout it?” I check.

“‘Course, I’m fuckin’ happy.” He looks at me as if I’m stupid.

“You think she ain’t?” Since he ain’t sayin’ much I have to help myself out here.

“Well, she ain’t fuckin’ told me, so you read between the lines.”

“I’m readin’ the fuckin’ lines, boss, and they’re tellin’ me your old lady’s knocked up. What I can’t understand is, why you’re talkin’ to me about this and not her?” I take out my packet of smokes and offer him one.

“I don’t know, probably for the same reason as you wanna travel across the country instead of talkin’ to my sister.” He calls me out. “Let’s face it, we’re both stubborn bastards who would bleed for this damn club but are petrified of gettin’ hurt by two very fuckin’ special females.” He manages to get all that out in one breath and I stare back at him shocked.

“You went way deeper with that than I was expectin’,” I point out.

“Seriously, Wrath, I need to know your intentions and so does Eden. You can either beat yourself up for what happened for the rest of your life or put all that effort into makin’ the rest of hers happy.”

“That almost sounded like a green light for me to be with your sister.” I frown at him.

“Is that really what ya need? My fuckin’ permission?” Raze looks at me as if I’m crazy. “Don’t pretend that’s what’s standin’ in your way. I appreciate your respect but don’t use it as another obstacle. If ya can promise me that you’ll always put her first and that you’ll protect her with your life, you got my backin’,” he puts it simply, and I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

“Even after what happened? How can you trust me when I didn't protect her then?”

“Wrath, you were eighteen years old and in an impossible situation. But not once durin’ that ordeal did you not put her first. Even when ya left, you did it because you thought you were protectin’ her. You couldn’t have predicted what Cliff would do. It’s time you started to focus on the future.”

I listen, but I know I’ll never be able to move on until I know Cliff is dead.

“We have to flush that motherfucker outta the weeds so I can assure your sister that he can never hurt her again.” I stand up feeling a little of my strength come back.

“And then what?” Raze raises his eyebrows at me.

“If we’re gonna remain friends I think it’s best me and you don’t discuss that.” I smile at him again, and this time he scowls.

“Seriously, though, Wrath, be sure. I can forgive you of a lot, but if you break her heart aga?—”

“I got a long drive to think about it.” I smile sadly, knowing that my love for her ain’t what’s in question here. It’s how much faith I can put in myself.

“Just take it easy, and stay outta trouble, you’ve got a fight to win.” He points his finger at me.

“And you make sure you speak to your girl, papa.” I wink at him, doing my best to show a brave face as I head out the door and grab the keys to one of the cages from the rack behind the bar.

When I step out onto the yard I look up to Eden's room. I should go to her and explain why I freaked out last night, but I don’t know how to put all that into words without sounding weak. Instead, I head out the arch and hop into a cage, driving out the gates so I can find the woman I’m hoping can help us.