Wrath (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #2)

Chapter 17

I open the door and when it’s my brother standing in front of me, instead of Aaron, my heart sinks.

“He told you, didn’t he?” I can tell from the way he’s trying to stay calm that Aaron’s been talking.

“He told me,” he confirms, rushing inside and wrapping me up in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Eden.” His strong arms grip me so tight I can barely breathe.

“I told Aaron what happened and he left.” I burst into tears, which should be impossible given the amount of them I’ve cried since Aaron stormed out of here last night. “Why does he always have to do that?” I look up at my brother hoping that he’s got all the answers.

“He does it because he loves you, and he thinks he’s bad for you. He blames himself, and I know how that feels because I blame myself too.” He sounds hurt and a lot less angry, though I can still feel all the tension in his chest.

“Neither of you caused this. I was the one who came here looking for Vex, and even after what happened I’ve never regretted it. I liked how it felt to have a big brother and a guy like Aaron in my life. I missed you both so much.”

“Come over here.” Raze leads me over to the chair in the corner of the room and forces me to sit in it.

“You're here now, and I know we have to put your past behind us, but neither myself nor Aaron can do that until Cliff pays for what he did. It’s not just about vengeance or justice. It’s about keepin’ everyone safe. Cliff strikes people where it hurts the most, and for me, that's always gonna be you and Peyton,” he explains.

I nod because I understand that, I just wish Aaron wouldn’t be so distant with me.

“And once it’s done, where does that leave me and him? What about your club rule?” I ask, knowing that the plague of our past isn’t mine and Aaron’s only hurdle.

“D’ya really think I’m gonna let a stupid club rule stand in the way of you bein’ happy?” Raze smiles at me. “C’mon ya may not know me well, but ya know me better than that.”

“I should hate him, not for what happened at the warehouse, but for leaving me to deal with it all alone.” I sigh with exhaustion, I’ve spent so long convincing myself that I didn’t love Aaron anymore, but I never tricked my heart into believing it.

“Hear me out, because I’m only ever gonna say this once.” My brother rolls his eyes. “Wrath did exactly what I would’ve done in his situation. He didn’t leave because he didn’t care, he left because he cared too much. Men like me and him, who live in this world, are cursed because we own a fuckin’ conscience, we’re always gonna be scared of the effects it has on those we care about. Aaron walked away from ya because he thought you could do better, he wanted you to be safe and have a normal life. I wanted the same for you, and there was a time when I wanted the same for Peyton. I can promise that leavin’ you that night would have been the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. It was selfless, and for that reason, I know there’s no better man out there for you than him.” My brother smiles at me again and it puts a warm feeling in my chest to know he’s got my back.

“I need to speak to him.” I go to stand up but Raze shakes his head.

“He’s outta town for a few days, there’s someone we need to speak to outta state, and all that ya told him last night was a lot for him to take. He’s blamin’ himself for not bein’ there for ya.”

“I was horrible, I blamed him too.” I bury my head in my hands when I think about how I spoke to him.

“Hey, it’s okay for you to be angry, you’ve been through hell. I had no idea your parents died or that Cliff…” He can’t finish his sentence, so takes a deep breath instead. “Stacey kept all that from me when she came here last month.”

“Back then she knew no different. I thought she’d called Jimmer to get us both help, I didn’t know she’d contacted Vex. How could he have known and not come for me himself, what did he do that was so bad?” It’s heartbreaking to think that my own father sent another man to take care of his business.

“Did ya tell Jimmer about what happened?” Raze stays on topic and ignores my question.

“No, I went with what he’d already been told. He assumed I was a junkie. I thought you’d be ashamed, and Cliff was in my head. He agreed to let me go with Jimmer as long as I never told anyone about what happened. He told me that you’d kill Aaron if you ever found out.”

“I could never be ashamed of ya, Eden. You're incredible, the way you picked yourself up and have made somethin’ of yourself. I ain’t nothin’ but proud of ya.” I feel so overcome with emotion that I leap at him and hold him tight.

“When I got outta jail, Wrath came to me and told me about what happened at the warehouse,” he admits, and hearing him talk about it makes me sick to my stomach. “I was so mad at him, I blamed him too, and I fucked up and acted without thinkin’. I went to Dad and told him what happened.”

“Vex knows?” I pull away in horror.

“I wanted to kill Wrath, I wanted our Dad to stand beside me and fight for his little girl, but while I was explainin’ it all to him I put myself in that situation and I couldn’t come up with a way I could have done any different. It hurt, and I was mad, but I understood.”

“And Vex?” I ask.

“Vex told me to kill Aaron, and when I refused he told me to get the hell outta his cabin. Six weeks later, I got a call from him to say you were dead. We hadn’t spoken since then, not until I went to see him yesterday.”

I try to imagine how awful that must have been. When Jimmer said that Eden Adams was better off dead, all I focused on was being safe and hidden from Cliff and his awful friends.

“Jimmer was so kind to me, he found me a place to stay at the Petersons’, he got me with a whole new identity. I even got a second shot at going to college. I don't know if it was him, or Vex who paid the fees, but he did all that while thinking I was a junkie whore. I never got the chance to thank him. After he left me with the Petersons, he told me to stay clear of the club, and I did,” Looking back on those days and remembering how destroyed I was makes me realize how far I’ve come.

“The day I had to call Aaron and tell him you were dead, was the day I truly understood how he felt about ya. He lost it, I got told you OD’d, and that it was more than likely suicide. Both of us have carried that on our conscience ever since. Aaron’s never been the same, he earned his road name because of the hate he’s got for this world, and when I sat across from our father the other day, I realized that puttin’ us through that was our punishment for failin’ ya. That fucker, who couldn’t get over himself and step up for ya, blamed us for lettin’ you down.” He shakes his head as he points out the irony.

“When did he find out about me? Aaron said he was going through something and that the time wasn’t right, but I’ve spoken to Stacey and she was under the impression he already knew about me when she called him.” I need to get to the bottom of this.

“I’d called him from jail after I got put away and told him about you, and he thought exactly what Aaron did, he thought you’d be better off without him. He didn’t want you to know the man he’d become, and I don’t blame him for that, because he’s a twisted, spiteful bastard. That's why I asked Aaron to look out for you while I was inside, I knew he cared for ya, and it’s why he felt like he’d let me down. I swear, that day when he came and told me what had happened to ya in that warehouse, there was a part of him that wanted me to kill him.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.” I raise a smile.

“So am I.” Raze takes my hand.

“For too long, the men in your life have put you in danger by tryin’ to protect you from who they are, that ain’t gonna happen anymore, not from me anyway.” Raze stands up tall in front of me. “I’m your brother, and I’m real fuckin’ dangerous. I’ve killed people and it’s likely that I’ll kill many more. But I don’t hate who I am, because bein’ this person means I can protect the people I love.” He tells me proudly.

“Now, we just have to convince Aaron to think the same.” I shrug.

“Darlin’, he’s out there tryin’ to find a way to kill his own father so he knows you can be safe. I don’t think he needs convincin’, he just needs to accept that after all these years of hatin’ this world, he’s got a shot at bein’ happy in it.” I look up at my brother and smile at the thought of being a part of that happiness.