Yours, For Good (Cozy Latine Billionaires #4)

21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Javier

The dining room in the old Pendleton home had not changed much since the 1930s. The walls still carried the same paisley type wallpaper among the straight lines of wainscotting; the crown molding was so elaborate it seemed to carry over to the coffered ceiling, from where a large chandelier hung. The furniture remained classically carved, and the old oil paintings on the wall still hung in their ornate frames.

I sighed. Typically, I was in this room only a few times a year, when my oldest brother invited me for a pleasant but boring dinner. He inherited the house by birth order and, even though my parents still lived with him, he was the one running the family's affairs.

My brother would never admit it, but that included dealing with what they called the Javier Problem— their constant concern with how I spent my money and how I used my influence. When he invited me for a meal, we pretended to enjoy each other's presence by chatting about his children, his investments, his yacht, and my projects and plans. It was all a big game of chess, where he kept track of how I moved my pieces, and I enjoyed puzzling him.

That night was a different circumstance. Nora was a few spots away from me but, among the polite chatter around the table, I could hear her voice. Like my brain could pick it out above the crowd.

We had texted over the past few weeks; with each conversation, our friendship continued to grow roots, while I mercilessly chopped each shoot that stretched in the wrong direction. I doggedly kept as many lines in place as I could; I hated deceiving her, but stopping what I'd begun meant taking away the friendship she craved. I couldn't abandon her now, and leave her to tackle the next few months by herself.

Even as the veil of my deceit wrapped around me like a shroud, I was determined to be the friend she needed, for as long as I could. Eventually, Mr. B. would fade, and I would too. But not before she found everything she wanted.

Tonight, I arrived at dinner right as it started, and didn't get to say hi to her before the first dish was served. Now I chatted with my mother to my left, or with Julia to my right, and counted down the minutes until the meal was over.

My time came once digestifs were served and we were invited back to the drawing room to mingle.

Nora stood by the fireplace with Sally and Julia; the latter was the first to notice me.

"Uncle Javier, I'm glad to see you here."

I gave her a formal nod hello.

"I got caught in a call," I said, "but I really wanted to come. See my friends."

I gave a small smile to Nora, who responded with a wide grin.

"It's good to see you, Javier. How long has it been since New Year's?"

"Much longer than the last text I sent you."

Julia squinted at Nora.

Sally turned curious eyes to me. "Hi again. New Year's, you say?"

"Yes." I sipped from my port. "Nora and I spent the evening together."

"I think that's how we became friends," Nora clarified.

"I thought that was Halloween." I smirked. "That we became friends while dancing."

Nora made a meh gesture with her expressive face. "The point is that we're friends."

"Right," Julia said. "That's… unexpected."

"Are you attending the grad dinner tomorrow?" Sally asked. "My dad couldn't come, so my brother Jim is taking his place."

"Your brother is coming?" The words escaped me before I had time to taste them.

I had no reason whatsoever to be jealous or worry about his presence, and yet…

"Yeah, Javier is coming," Nora said. "He kind of invited himself when I told him about this trip."

When Nora first texted me about the graduation dinner, I had been torn. I had already decided I couldn't attend as Mr. B. I wasn't worried about someone connecting the dots and learning I had sponsored Nora— or worse, for someone to say anything to her about me being her sponsor. Founders and other sponsors rarely attended the event and, even when they did, we never knew who sponsored who. Since backers were cleared independently, we were given a lot of freedom once accepted. The system for submitting a sponsee's name kept things separate, and the loophole had served me well for my purposes. But attending as Javier… getting the best of both worlds…

Temptation won.

I was especially glad now that I knew Jim would be there. Did it matter that in one of her letters Nora implied she did not have any interest in him?

Apparently not.

I shrugged. "Since the party would be practically in my neighborhood, and my friend was graduating—"

"And your niece," Julia added.

"And my niece, of course."

"So Javier is your guest?" Sally frowned. "To the ceremony? I thought we could only bring two people— are your parents not coming?"

My attention darted to Nora. It may not have made sense, but I felt her tiny gasp— a drawing of air around me that cooled down my skin. My stomach dropped for her.

Sally continued, appearing to think out loud, and unaware of Nora's clear discomfort. "I just realized— I don't think I've ever heard you mention your parents. But someone else is attending, right?"

Julia watched Nora closely; I'd wager she wanted to learn about Nora's family so she could place her better. Where were the Toledos from, and were they oligarchs in their country at all?

My nostrils flared. "I have to say, though— I'm concerned about the menu. There were like thirty rounds on the list, which in my head means they will be bite-sized. I'm already thinking I'll need a stop somewhere for an actual meal afterwards."

This time, Nora released a sigh of relief.

Sally laughed. "That's too true! It never made sense to me. Aren't they going to serve canapés during cocktail hour? We don't need anything more bite-sized."

I checked on Nora. She gazed at me with gratefulness in her eyes. My smile, small as always, had jetfuel behind it. It spread warmth underneath my skin.

It was the least I could do, when I knew her second guest wouldn't make it.

For the next while, we chatted with Sally and Julia and, at one point, with every other family member in the home, too. Half an hour later, I was ready to make my exit. Only that I hadn't had a chance to talk to Nora alone.

I studied her as she chatted with Sally and my sister-in-law. She chatted a mile a minute about her business, explaining it to Julia's mom, impressing us with it, and shining . Pretty as always and more animated than anyone else in the room, she barely fit with anyone except for Sally. My family, obstinately polite, didn't make a fuss over the different vibe of Julia's guest, but I saw the little signs. The small frown on my brother's brow when Nora said she had never been on a yacht. My mother's widened eyes when Nora laughed at something Sally said. My father's mouth pressing into a more severe line than usual.

Everytime I noticed a new gesture, I had to gaze down so they wouldn't see me rolling my eyes. I may have clenched my teeth a time or two.

This is when I usually would leave, but… Nora.

I leaned closer to her so only she could hear me. "You're staying here, right?"

She nodded.

I came closer to her ear. "Have you seen the library yet?"

Her smell, strong here so close to her hair, filled my lungs. I pulled back so it wouldn't drive me to forget who and where we were— just in time to see her shiver.

Oh god.

She glanced at me from the corner of her eyes, a smile tilting her lips as usual. "Those are truly mesmerizing words."

"Have you seen it, then?"

"No."

"Let me show you."

I grabbed her hand as innocently as I could, and pulled from her so she would follow. It was a total miscalculation, because now I didn't want to let go.

I forced myself to detangle my fingers from hers, checked that she walked behind me, and made for the old library.

We walked alone through the hall, toward the main rooms in the back.

"Will they wonder where we are?" she asked.

"If they do, let them." I turned left at the right time, past one of the alcoves. "They'll find us eventually."

"Was that a… marble statue?"

"It was." It had nested in that nook for decades.

"Wow."

I opened the double doors to the library and let her go in before me. She took two steps inside and stopped in her tracks.

"Wow…" this time, the word carried a thousand notes of awe.

She turned in place, taking in every detail. The dark wood on every surface, with the same ornate design and high, coffered ceilings as in every other room in the house. Hints of brass, glass, and green velvet, breaking the monotony of the rest of the room. Two large sofas in the same style, making space for reading and conversation. Several small tables, and a letter-writing desk used by enough Pendletons over the years that it was easy to lose count. Not to say anything of the rows and rows of books filling the walls.

My eyes were fixed on Nora. Her admiration threaded through my guts, anchoring me to the moment. It would take a single spark to ignite the jet fuel under my skin.

"Is that…" Her eyes widened as she searched for words. "Is that the stairs to the second floor of books?"

I came closer to her, so I could peer at her face with as much attention as she paid to the library. Her eyes continued to roam over the room.

"Would you like to go up?" I asked.

Her sight dropped to mine. "Yes," she breathed.

The glint in her eyes was the spark to set me aflame. The heat that moved through me echoed the many poems held in the pages through the room. The kind people everywhere referenced to speak about love—

Not that that's what I felt. How could I know? I had never felt it and had no idea what to look for. But I clearly felt something . Affection, of course. Attraction. Maybe a bit of a sudden crush on her, but it still made sense to feel affection for my friend.

Fuck. I would have to keep an eye on that, too.

I doused the fire in my chest to tame it down, and guided Nora to what she called the second floor; the built-in bookshelves had a balcony wrapping around the room, creating a pathway midways to the ceiling. With twelve rows of books, the ledge worked better than a ladder to access the higher levels.

Nora traced the spines of a few books, before picking a seemingly random one and opening it in front of her face.

"Am I… living?" She took a deep sniff off its pages. She moaned.

I clenched my teeth. "I'd check your pulse, but I'm pretty sure you're still here."

If she let me, I would put my hand around her neck for many reasons.

Shit. No. She shouldn't let me do that, when she didn't know who I really was. I shouldn't let myself imagine it, either.

I lifted pleading eyes to the overly-decorated wooden vault above us. Thoughts like that had to stop before they multiplied.

She put the book back on its shelf and chose another one. She opened it to the first page and read the copyright information.

"You grew up in this house, right?" Her finger landed right below the publishing date: 1912.

I nodded. "This is one of my favorite rooms in the place."

"What was it like?" Her eyes searched my face, like she couldn't make sense of things but was dying to know, and I held the answers. Her voice had lowered, too, like the question had escaped her in a breath.

"It was… a lot." I rubbed my lips together and leaned against the banister, hands deep in my pockets. "A lot of expectations, rules, history…"

"Lots of books."

"Yeah. I could ask for a trip and someone would take me; I could ask for a toy and I'd have it the next morning. What I found in books mattered more in the end."

"What did you find in books?"

She put the novel back on the shelf and, crossing her arms, leaned on the built-in and a million words. Her eyes remained on me as she waited for my answer.

I didn't have to think for too long. "I found periods in time I could never be in. Places in the universe I could never travel to. People I would never get to meet."

She cocked her head. "The things that were beyond your reach."

Maybe that's why I felt the way I did for Nora. I had always searched for what existed far from my grasp, and I could see her tantalizing me from a place right past my fingertips.

"Javier," she added in an amused reproach. "No wonder the film noir hero is so full of ennui. You damned yourself to dissatisfaction."

I laughed. The books around us absorbed most of the sound, but whatever reached her made her grin with pride.

"Right," I managed. "I should also seek things I can reach."

"And let the rest amaze you."

I continued to smile as I studied her face. Those thick lashes. A brilliant smile. Warm eyes I could get lost in. But the idea of her and me was nothing more than a hologram I couldn't touch.

Kissing her was a forbidden dream.

I sighed. "I owe you an answer. We made a deal about it, remember?"

She nodded, just as the library door opened behind me.

I ignored it. "Gratefulness is good for the spirit. If someone is thankful, they have every right to express it. I'm thankful I'm getting to know you, and I wouldn't want to hide it."

Her lips parted as she processed my words.

"Uncle Javier?"

I tracked Nora's face for a while longer, but eventually turned to my niece.

"Here you are," Julia added. "I thought I heard… laughter?"

"I know. Shocking in this house, isn't it?" I asked.

Nora laughed. We went back downstairs and soon after I took my leave.

Walking down the streets of the Upper East Side at night shouldn't have felt like I strolled on the moon. That's why that night in my bed, I spent a few hours awake pondering on the limits of my feelings.