Yours, For Good (Cozy Latine Billionaires #4)

22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Nora

"That's more like him." Julia's eyes followed Javier as he left the library.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Julia, Sally, and I hovered near the library's doors. We didn't bother to find a spot on the sofas in the room; it was getting late, and we would likely retire to our beds soon.

"I'm used to seeing him rushing to leave." Julia's exquisitely manicured eyebrow raised in an elegant arch. "It was strange seeing him smiling so much this evening. Well, more than usual for him, in any case."

I noticed his typical gesture of amusement— his mouth tilting up in one corner. It reminded me of popcorn, with the way it popped suddenly and brightened the evening. In my experience, it wasn't that infrequent.

Huh… did he smile like that at other times, when I wasn't around? When it was him and me, sometimes I made him belly laugh.

I didn't get to question it further. Sally's narrowed eyes landed on me.

The line of her mouth turned playful. "What I really want to know is, is there something between you two?"

"Yeah…" While I meant for my voice to sound humorous, my stomach dropped when I heard the dreaminess braided into the word.

Sally's eyes widened. Julia paled.

"Relax!" I faked a dismissive laugh. "We're friends, that's what I meant."

"I wouldn't try for more," Julia said. "He is headstrong and determined to remain a bachelor. He's an introvert that spends most of his time alone at home, as far as we can tell. It has been years since he introduced anyone to the family—"

Sally giggled. "Can you imagine having to call Nora, Auntie?"

Julia paled further but continued as if Sally hadn't said anything. "The family believes he was engaged once and it ended poorly. He never recovered, Eleanora."

Something flipped in my chest, but I concealed it behind a shrug. "Fun anecdote. Not relevant."

"Are we sure about that?" Sally asked. "Because I was hoping to set you up with Jim."

This time, my laughter was genuine. "I don't know about that, Sally, I'm sorry. I'm not looking to settle down either. I can't get distracted right now."

Even if Javier had been the first to make me question my plans; even if my heart continued to whisper what ifs to me in the night, reason had to prevail.

It didn't matter if he made the lines between friendship and romance blur— questioning if there was a line at all would not help me keep him.

Javier brought me flowers the next day for my graduation.

We met outside the event venue, and he gave me my second bouquet ever; lilies of some sort, ranging from the palest rose to the deepest burgundy, filled my hands.

"Thank you!" I smiled at him.

He wore a dark gray suit, deliciously cut around his frame; despite the semi-formal event, he kept it casual with no tie and a few open buttons. He looked so elegant-casual chic, he could have stepped right out of a magazine. In my a-line, ankle-length, bottle green satin skirt and tight velvet crop top in the same color, we both cleaned up well.

Not that we didn't look amazing in casual clothes, but that night we were smoking hot. It felt good to stand out that way, among the more traditionally-dressed people around us.

"Congratulations on finishing the main part of the program," he said. "I was researching flowers for my friend Jake, and I couldn't help myself. I wanted to bring you some, too."

We entered the building, another early twentieth century mansion that had been repurposed when the affluent family that built it had let it go. It was decorated with less classic splendor than the Pendleton's home, but still elegant and rich-looking.

"Flowers for your friend Jake?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"You may not remember, but I mentioned his promotion?" He waited for my response, and continued after I nodded. "Gabe, Max, and I plan to fill his office with flowers when he takes the new position."

"Aw! That's sweet!"

I held my own flowers close, resisting the urge to dig my nose among the petals. We left our coats at the check in desk, found Sally and her family, and the Pendletons joined us soon after. Since Sally and I were staying with Julia, she had a staff member from her household pick up our flowers and take them to our bedrooms.

That's when my eyes started mindlessly searching for someone else in the room. Cocktail hour progressed, and I eagerly searched for a yellow rose in a lapel. Just in case.

Mr. B. hadn't written in response to my invitation at all. No word from him to say one way or another… which should have been answer enough. We had to confirm with the organizers who our guests were and their allergy needs and such; not hearing from Mr. B. or even his assistant Griggs meant I had to tell the admin that I only had one guest.

And yet, a small fantasy played in my mind, that he would show up and give me a kind smile. His face, heavy with wrinkles and the passing of time, would exude understanding and patience. He would say, "My sweet girl, of course I would come." Then he would use his power for good and get the organizers to add a chair and a meal to the table.

By the time cocktail glasses were taken away and people moved to the dining room, I'd killed the dream and forced it six feet under. The tombstone read, he may care, but not enough to find his way to the event . It soured the taste of red wine on my tongue, as the first round of dishes made it to our table.

To think my benefactor cared but would not meet me— not even talk to me— stabbed my joy like nothing else. I shouldn't have hoped for his presence.

Maybe it was time I considered what it might be like to accept he would never be a true person in my life.

The tenth round was another small plate, this one covered by a glass dome filled with smoke. Servers surrounded our table and lifted the crystal topper as one, allowing the fog-like gas to rise and prime our palates with the smell of distant forests. The dissipating mist gave way to a single leaf on the plate with bubbles that reminded me of reddish-purple tapioca balls.

I didn't know whether to be confused or impressed, but no one else said a thing, so I didn't either. All I did was wait to see how other people took their leaves and balls— there was a joke hidden there somewhere— to safely do the same.

An earthy taste coated my mouth; beets seemed to be one of the main ingredients in the bubbles. The leaf gave it a hint of chopped grass. All of it together made me feel like I had taken a bite of the rainforest. I frowned, unsure I enjoyed the experience.

"Bored yet?" Javier asked quietly to my side.

I smirked. "As you are my guest and conversation partner, you should hope my answer to be no."

"I'm thinking of how you once teased me for getting bored at these things."

"I will admit it's a quiet affair."

The rest of the Pendletons and the McBrides spoke barely above murmur level. From what I could see, the other tables were subdued as well.

"The whole thing is a bit unsettling." I sipped from my wine again. "I would have guessed even rich people could be noisy after a few drinks."

"Oh, yeah, for sure," he replied. "But this is a formal dining event that's geared toward creating more opportunities for investment."

"More networking, I take it?"

"I see the program taught you a thing or two." A corner of his lips turned up. "But don't be mistaken— lots of drinking will happen tonight as well."

"Should I be scared?"

"Not if you don't get drunk yourself. When you're sober enough, you get to laugh at snobs slurring their words."

I laughed. "You paint quite the picture…"

"Nora," Sally's mom called. "I'm so sorry I won't get to meet anyone from your family tonight. I would have liked to meet your mother!"

She talked to me from Javier's other side.

I put on a tiny, polite smile and directed it her way. "I'm sure she would have liked to meet you, too."

It wasn't a lie; Sally's mom was a sweet person and my mom would have happily chatted with her… even if it was also true that my mom wouldn't have let that go beyond acquaintances level. In all the years I had with Mom, I didn't think she ever had a friend. It had always been her and me against the world.

"I am so curious," Amelia, Javier's sister-in-law and Julia's mom, joined our chat from my other side. "I feel like it came up in the conversation a few times during your visit, and yet I still don't know what she— or your father— do!"

"You know, Mother," Julia added, "I've known Nora for months and I don't think I know either."

My heart quickened. What was it with people wanting to know every detail about your family?

I bought myself some time with another sip of wine. "I don't talk much about them, so I'm not surprised. I keep all of that very private."

In my years skirting this issue with curious folk around me, I had not found the right way to politely tell them to stay the fuck away from that subject. Saying it was something I kept private was the safest version I had ever found but it didn't always work.

I lowered my eyes to my plate and hoped people got the message; I would appreciate it if the topic was dropped.

"I think a new round of food is coming soon," Javier said to my side. "How many rounds left? I lost track."

A small smile appeared on my lips. I was sure he changed the subject on purpose; he had done it the night before, too.

Gratefulness wrapped around my shoulders like a cloak. It shielded me from others' curiosity.

Except Julia didn't get the message, and she pulled from it until she left me cold.

"You have to admit," she said in my direction, "that an answer like that invites a thousand follow up questions! I'm not sure what to make of the need to keep it a secret—"

I lifted my eyes to her. My gesture turned flat. I watched her question me like she had probably wanted to for months, poking and prodding at the wall I had built around the subject. It was a flimsy barrier to begin with, and my breathing quickened.

"— at this point," she continued, "I'm starting to wonder if you're a royal of some sort. I don't know what else to think! But you're Latina and I don't know if there are any Royals in South America…?"

"My mom is dead." I said the words but I didn't feel them in my throat. I didn't feel much at all. "My father is— gone. They're both gone. That's why I don't talk about it, Julia."

One sensation broke through the sudden numbness in my body. Javier's hand landed on mine on the table.

He squeezed my fingers in his and talked to his niece. "Stop it, Julia. That was rude. There was no invitation in Nora's words. I expected you to be better than this."

His palm warmed my skin. The feeling radiated up my arm, and it cascaded into my chest like a waterfall. He stood up for me. I didn't know when was the last time I had anyone willing to do so.

Tears pricked behind my eyes.

"I apologize." Julia's mouth pressed on a tight, remorseful line. "I shouldn't have pushed."

"Thank you," I managed through a watery throat. "I don't like to talk about it."

"Of course." Sally's mom gazed at me with understanding eyes. "Anyone would have a hard time talking about it."

I hated that everyone would think Julia's words had hurt me more than they did. They had hurt, and they had annoyed me, but they weren't the reason for the emotions flooding my vocal cords.

"I need a minute, I'm sorry." I stood.

"Can we help in any way?" Amelia asked, a genuinely worried frown on her brow.

Javier stood by my side. His older brother gave me a more serious look from his spot next to Julia.

"Please accept my apologies, too, Nora," he said.

"I accept all the apologies," I said through a still-tight throat. "It'll be okay. I just need a minute. I'm sorry."

When I walked away from the hall with Javier behind me, his hand on the small of my back, I didn't think to question it.

Outside of the banquet hall, lights on everywhere, we opened a few doors until we found an empty room. Whoever owned the house these days had kept the space intact, if the looks of it were any indication. The room was on the smaller side, maybe designed for a small casual event; perhaps a bridal or baby shower. A floral, yellow wallpaper warmed up the place, and dark wood furniture with thick, pink embroidered fabric added to its friendly tone.

Javier and I faced each other somewhere in the middle of the room.

He peered into my eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I will be." I crossed my arms.

His lips curled on one corner. "So you're not okay right now ."

I snorted and followed it with a quick chuckle. "I'm fine. It's irritating when it happens but, above all? I hate that I let them see that."

"Let them see you. Let it show Julia she needs to do better."

"I hate this feeling of… exposure , Javier." I crossed my arms. "I don't like to talk about my family and, when I do, it always ends up being like this."

I dug a set of nails into my forearm. Not too much, just enough to feel them digging into my skin; enough to know where I was.

This was the first time I trusted Javier with such a tender part of me. I didn't know when the last time was that I shared this sore spot with anyone— at least face to face. I had written a letter or two confessing this feeling in recent months.

It was different when I could see their eyes… but Javier didn't disappoint me. He gazed at me like he knew exactly what I was talking about. Like he didn't need me to say it, he understood somehow.

My heart beat faster again, this time with the warmth of winter sunlight. The kind that made you cozy in your home, safe from the cold of the world outside.

"She shouldn't have pushed," he said. "Let her deal with the consequences. She was in the wrong, not you."

The mellow feeling of comfort building inside of me pulled a smile from my lips. "Thank you. I know you tried to distract them all with your comment about the next course."

He lifted a shoulder in a dismissive manner. "It clearly wasn't enough."

"I can still be grateful, remember? You admitted to it last night."

His mouth tilted in what passed for a grin from him. It was powerful enough to turn his lips into a lopsided smile, half of his face fully engaged even if his eyes remained serious.

"I think this is one of my favorite things about you." His voice came out deeper this time.

"That I'm not afraid to call you out?"

"Nora… I never feel called out. You… you call me in ."

The affection in his eyes grabbed me by the waist and pulled. His words reached for me like his hands might have, had he wanted me closer.

What if?

He said I called him in. Butterflies tickled my diaphragm.

I pushed away the realization my throat had tightened again. I'd waited so long to feel like this. If I looked at that too much, I might let go and cry.

Easier to give him a few words back.

I pinched a bit of flesh between my fingers. "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

I must not have been successful at keeping emotion at bay. The affection in his eyes deepened.

My step forward was automatic— he brought me in at the same time. His arms went around me like that afternoon in Connecticut, several weeks before. I rested my head on his chest, and melted into his hug.

More cozy winter sun shining down on me.

"No, I really mean it," I insisted. His cologne enveloped me and I drew it into me. "You don't know how much it means to me that you're my friend. That you never ask for more than I can give about my past. That you want to know me for who I am today, and not where I come from."

I closed my eyes and let him be my cocoon. He didn't respond right away but, when he did, his voice rumbled against my ear.

"I'm trying." He paused. "I've made mistakes but I'd like to avoid making more."

"Those are high standards to have of yourself."

"With you, I don't think they're high enough."

I lifted my face to look at him. "That makes me feel very special."

"Good. You're special to me."

The dams I'd built inside faded away, leaving an open landscape where to build a little home of hope. It softened my muscles, and I leaned onto him a little more.

I smiled. "Stop saying such pretty things, or I'm going to forget you can be cynical and I'm lonely. You should tease me more."

If I forgot who we were and why we were friends, I might get confused.

He frowned. "I don't want to tease you. I mean it, too."

My heart skipped a beat, and caught up at twice the normal pace. My vocal cords wanted to sing, and my chest opened, and the wallpaper had to have gold threads in them, because they glittered.

What if?

Confusion lurked around the corner… and I peeked.

"Can best friends be lovers?"

I didn't know the words had formed in my mind until I heard them coming out of my lips. Somehow, I forgot to panic. All I could do was gaze into Javier's warm blue irises, and let my question rattle in the space between us.

"Nora…"

We were so close I could see his pupils dilate. I pressed my palms against his chest— I had been right, his clothes were soft.

What if…

Words seemed to escape him. His mouth… it remained slightly parted. I'd wager his lips were soft, too…

What if I kissed him?