Yours Suddenly

Chapter 16

Alexandra

Things are back to normal. We're going on dates now. We're making love. Twice, thrice a day. Adrianne and Mama have sensed that things have stabilized, so they aren't mad at Roman anymore.

“Where's Mama?” he asks Adrianne one afternoon during lunch in the dining room.

“Probably on a date with Matthew,” Adrianne says casually.

“Huh,” Roman says, surprised.

Adrianne says, “I guess Mom's allowed to find love.”

Roman's jaw twitches a little. He probably sees the whole thing as being disloyal to his father.

Then, finally, he nods.

“Fair enough.” He turns to Adrianne. “When are you getting married?”

“When the sun falls from the sky, probably.”

“Speaking of warm things ,” I say, standing up. I take my husband's hand. “You coming up? I've got something nice and warm waiting for you.”

“Oh, rub it in my face, why don't you?” Adrianne says as Roman sweeps me off my feet and carries me upstairs.

After he fucks me so hard I almost lose consciousness, I collapse on the bed, exhausted. We cuddle and then he kisses my forehead, leaving me to rest so he can go to his office for a short meeting.

I fall asleep, but then a nightmare has me wake up screaming.

The bodies of my family are still vivid in my mind as my phone rings. It's Roman.

“Hey, baby,” he drawls. “I miss you already.”

My throat is closed up.

“Baby?” Worry threads his voice.

“I…” I pant.

“Hold on, I'm coming there.”

I can hear the voices of the other men in the background. Tristan, Logan and other unfamiliar people. He's still in the meeting.

“No, it's fine,” I breathe out.

“I'll be there in a second,” Roman says. I hear sounds of confusion in the background.

“Where are you going?” an unfamiliar voice says.

Roman doesn’t answer.

“But — but —” the person says, and I hear a door close.

“You still there, baby?”

“Roman,” I say. “I — you didn't have to —”

“I'm almost there,” he says. He only hangs up the phone after he walks into the room.

“What happened?” He sits on the edge of the bed, searching my face, bringing his fingers to my chin. “Talk to me.”

I gulp. “I just had a nightmare.”

“Come here. You want to talk about it?”

I open my mouth and close it as he holds me in his arms.

“The dream… it was about my family. It's like I was back in the hospital again, identifying their bodies and —”

He slips his shoes off and slides into the bed with me.

“I'm here,” he says.

“I miss them so much,” I tell him.

“You'll see them again,” he says, assuringly. “Trust me.”

His words comfort me with the way he sounds so certain.

“We'll see them all, all the people we've lost.” He presses his lips to my forehead and the panic that seized me begins to melt away…

I'm slowly dozing off when his phone starts ringing, making me jerk awake. He makes a growl of annoyance and puts the ringing on silent.

“You should get that,” I say.

“You were falling asleep.”

“I’m fine now.”

“Tristan,” Roman says when he answers the call, “I'm in the middle of cuddling my wife.”

“Sorry, Rome, but we just lost the deal.”

I turn to look at my husband.

“What do you mean?” Roman says.

“They got pissed you just left.” Frustration is in Tristans's voice, but he still keeps it mostly even.

“There will be deals in the future,” Roman says.

“I guess, man, but still. Five hundred million dollars?”

“What?” I yelp, sitting up.

Tristan on the phone chuckles. Roman looks at me amused.

“Wait, hold on ,” I say. “Is this a joke? You just threw away a five hundred million dollar deal because I wanted to cuddle?”

“You're my wife,” Roman says. “You come first.”

“But — but —“

“No buts. I can lose a half-a-billion-dollar deal and get another one. If I lose you –” he brings my hand to his lips – “I can't get another you.”

“It was just a nightmare,” I say guiltily.

“It was just a half-a-billion-dollar deal,” he says.

I give a frustrated and amused groan. But inside? I'm giggling and kicking my feet when I shouldn’t be. What is wrong with me?

“Damn, Rome,” Tristan says on the phone. “You got some serious game.”

“Hey, now. Why the fuck are you still on the line?” Roman says with a smirk.

Tristan chuckles again and says, “Look man, I'm just trying to learn from the best. Trying to get married too in the next year.” He sniggers before he cuts the line.

Roman turns to me, concern in his eyes. “How are you feeling now?”

“A lot better,” I say. “Since apparently that was a five-hundred-million-dollar cuddle.”

He laughs. “You’re not done spending money for the day.” He brings his lips to mine briefly. “We need to go and buy you a dress.”

“Oh right!” I say, remembering. “We have a party tonight!”

“Yes.”

“But I don’t need a new dress, I have tons of ‘em.”

“And I feel like you need one more. Maybe even two. Neither of them below ten grand.”

“You spoil me so good,” I say, straddling him and kissing him on the nose.

He kisses my chest and my neck, and then lightly bites my chin. “You deserve the world.”

Chapter 17

Alexandra

After Roman and I are done shopping, coming from the mall with four dresses, jewelry worth fifteen thousand dollars and shoes that cost six thousand, we take a nice long thirty-minute shower together.

Afterwards, he's concerned I won’t be able to walk properly during the party with how sore he's made me.

“Where does it hurt?” he rumbles, dark hair damp, a towel the only thing on his large, tatted body as I sit on the edge of the bed, applying lotion to my wet skin.

I open my legs and point between them. “Here.”

He kneels, buries his face there, and kisses it gently twice. “There,” he says. “All better now.”

Before we sink into more hot, passionate sex, we get a grip on ourselves. He changes rather quickly into an immaculate dark suit and after I’ve worn my silk brown gown, I need a little more time to do my hair and makeup. Adrianne, in a blue maxi dress and sneakers, helps me curl my hair with a hot iron.

“We're running late,” I say.

“We're fine,” she replies. “Hold still before I burn you. I don't want to potentially get killed by your husband.”

Downstairs, the kids are excited, as always, whenever we have a party. Music plays from speakers in the walls as Mama and Matthew waltz in the middle of the grand foyer. Friends and extended family members mingle in both the living room and entertainment room while some chat on the rooftop terrace. Outside, household employees move around with trays of orange quarters from the grove dipped in chocolate while Blake plays catch with our dachshunds and their puppies.

I don't want to appear too clingy and annoying, but I can't help myself.

“Where's Rome?” I say to Adrianne.

“Hmm. I actually don't know,” she says thoughtfully. “He’s supposed to be mingling, but at this rate of MIA, he's probably in his office.”

That's probably what's happening. Men always needing to talk business.

“Gorgeous dress, by the way,” a beautiful woman with a bob says as she passes me.

“Thank you, you too,” I say, taking in her long, black dress.

She winks at Adrianne before disappearing into the crowd.

I glance at Adrianne and she's turned scarlet in the face.

“Why are you red?” I ask.

“What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about?”

I narrow my eyes, amused. “Uh-huh.”

“Go find your husband,” she says.

“We'll talk about that later,” I say, giving her a wink, before I move away toward Mama and Matthew who are still waltzing, seemingly oblivious to everything else around them. When I lightly tap Mama on the shoulder, she jumps.

“Sorry to interrupt!” I say.

“It’s fine, sweetie, what’s up?” Mama says. Her speech is a little slurred. She’s tipsy.

“Do you think it's a good idea if I take some food to Roman? Adrianne says he's in his office.”

“Okay,” she says, looking me up and down, “you look stunning .”

“Oh, Mama, thank you!”

I lean in and kiss her on both cheeks.

“ Stunning . Anyways, Roman?” Mama says. “He has some guests over and, yes, they have a meeting in his office. He didn't appear too happy to have them. Unexpected and uninvited.”

“Oh,” I say.

“It would be a good idea to take him some food,” Mama continues. “Try and fish him out of that room and make him interact with people.” She gestures at the foyer at large impatiently. “It’s always work, work, work.”

Matthew behind her nods emphatically.

The food for the party is laid out on the dining room table. I put some steak and chips and ketchup, some caviar, and oysters, and prosciutto, and creamy pasta on a plate. A little chaotic but that’s how he likes to eat. I glide to his office, humming along to the music, receiving compliments from guests about my dress and giving them back, telling the kids to be even more rowdy than they are and wondering, not for the first time, when our first little bundle of joy is coming.

I pick a chip from the plate, popping it into my mouth. He loves it when I pick from his plate. He thinks it’s intimate, sexy even. So I want him to see me do it. Who knows, maybe a girl might just fall pregnant. If I’m not already…

I’m outside his office door and the voices behind it float to me.

“…would love to work together in the long term,” a stranger’s voice says.

“I'm sure you would,” Roman says.

“Yes,” the man replies. “With your superior flair for business, skill in, uh, dealing with competition effectively, and our experience, I'm sure we could take the real estate development market by storm.”

“I'm not interested in new partners, particularly those who come uninvited when I'm enjoying time with my family,” I hear my husband say frostily.

“I hear you, I hear you,” another man says. “I would want to spend precious time with such a beautiful family as well. You're a lucky man, Trent.”

“In what way, Gareth?” Roman asks.

“You and your wife seem to be in love. Love is a very rare thing. As you know, most of us marry for power.”

Roman makes an annoyed, dismissive sound. “There is no love,” he says. “She is just a wife. I have yet to experience this true love you talk about. If that's ever going to happen, then that woman hasn’t come into my life yet.” A pause. “My wife… she makes a good, loyal partner. That's it.”

“Damn,” the first man says. “Here I was, thinking you were the luckiest man in the world.”

“You were mistaken,” Roman says coldly.

I don't hear the rest of the words exchanged.

I step away from the door. One, two, three backward steps, and then do a one-eighty.

The plate I'm holding is shaking so badly in my hand, but I maintain a firm grip on it. I don't want to drop it and have them realize I was standing by the door.

“Are you alright?”

An older couple who I know to be cousins of Mama watch me as I come down the stairs.

I put a smile on, even though I can feel the tears stinging my eyes. “I'm fine,” I say.

“It must be pregnancy hormones,” the woman says sympathetically.

“What?” I say, my voice wobbling.

“Poor thing,” she says. “Here, I'll take that. You should get some rest.”

“Oh, I — thank you,” I say, handing her the plate as I turn to go back up the stairs, hoping I don’t come across anyone else, particularly all the men in that room.

I text Adrianne: have a headache, just gonna lie down for a bit , and she texts me back two worried-face emojis. Then: do you have Tylenol?

Me: I have some in my room. Thanks.

Adrianne: I’ll come up to check on you

Me: No its not that bad enjoy the party with black dress girl ;)

Adrianne: stoppppppppp

The kids are running on the landing, so I try to hold it together until I'm past our bedroom door. His scent is so strong in here, mixed with mine. I burst into tears.

Feeling too crushed to take off my dress, I lie on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

He lied.

He doesn't love me.

His words echo and echo: My heart belongs to you only.

Everything was a lie.

My eyes land on the crystal chandelier, on the other dresses we bought earlier that lie cascading on the armchair. Nothing feels real: the jewelry at my wrists, the five-thousand-dollar scent at my neck…

I open the cabinet drawer and take out a bottle of sleeping pills. I take two, and my body relaxes slowly, sinking into a troubled sleep.