Yours Suddenly

Chapter 17

Alexandra

After Roman and I are done shopping, coming from the mall with four dresses, jewelry worth fifteen thousand dollars and shoes that cost six thousand, we take a nice long thirty-minute shower together.

Afterwards, he's concerned I won’t be able to walk properly during the party with how sore he's made me.

“Where does it hurt?” he rumbles, dark hair damp, a towel the only thing on his large, tatted body as I sit on the edge of the bed, applying lotion to my wet skin.

I open my legs and point between them. “Here.”

He kneels, buries his face there, and kisses it gently twice. “There,” he says. “All better now.”

Before we sink into more hot, passionate sex, we get a grip on ourselves. He changes rather quickly into an immaculate dark suit and after I’ve worn my silk brown gown, I need a little more time to do my hair and makeup. Adrianne, in a blue maxi dress and sneakers, helps me curl my hair with a hot iron.

“We're running late,” I say.

“We're fine,” she replies. “Hold still before I burn you. I don't want to potentially get killed by your husband.”

Downstairs, the kids are excited, as always, whenever we have a party. Music plays from speakers in the walls as Mama and Matthew waltz in the middle of the grand foyer. Friends and extended family members mingle in both the living room and entertainment room while some chat on the rooftop terrace. Outside, household employees move around with trays of orange quarters from the grove dipped in chocolate while Blake plays catch with our dachshunds and their puppies.

I don't want to appear too clingy and annoying, but I can't help myself.

“Where's Rome?” I say to Adrianne.

“Hmm. I actually don't know,” she says thoughtfully. “He’s supposed to be mingling, but at this rate of MIA, he's probably in his office.”

That's probably what's happening. Men always needing to talk business.

“Gorgeous dress, by the way,” a beautiful woman with a bob says as she passes me.

“Thank you, you too,” I say, taking in her long, black dress.

She winks at Adrianne before disappearing into the crowd.

I glance at Adrianne and she's turned scarlet in the face.

“Why are you red?” I ask.

“What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about?”

I narrow my eyes, amused. “Uh-huh.”

“Go find your husband,” she says.

“We'll talk about that later,” I say, giving her a wink, before I move away toward Mama and Matthew who are still waltzing, seemingly oblivious to everything else around them. When I lightly tap Mama on the shoulder, she jumps.

“Sorry to interrupt!” I say.

“It’s fine, sweetie, what’s up?” Mama says. Her speech is a little slurred. She’s tipsy.

“Do you think it's a good idea if I take some food to Roman? Adrianne says he's in his office.”

“Okay,” she says, looking me up and down, “you look stunning .”

“Oh, Mama, thank you!”

I lean in and kiss her on both cheeks.

“ Stunning . Anyways, Roman?” Mama says. “He has some guests over and, yes, they have a meeting in his office. He didn't appear too happy to have them. Unexpected and uninvited.”

“Oh,” I say.

“It would be a good idea to take him some food,” Mama continues. “Try and fish him out of that room and make him interact with people.” She gestures at the foyer at large impatiently. “It’s always work, work, work.”

Matthew behind her nods emphatically.

The food for the party is laid out on the dining room table. I put some steak and chips and ketchup, some caviar, and oysters, and prosciutto, and creamy pasta on a plate. A little chaotic but that’s how he likes to eat. I glide to his office, humming along to the music, receiving compliments from guests about my dress and giving them back, telling the kids to be even more rowdy than they are and wondering, not for the first time, when our first little bundle of joy is coming.

I pick a chip from the plate, popping it into my mouth. He loves it when I pick from his plate. He thinks it’s intimate, sexy even. So I want him to see me do it. Who knows, maybe a girl might just fall pregnant. If I’m not already…

I’m outside his office door and the voices behind it float to me.

“…would love to work together in the long term,” a stranger’s voice says.

“I'm sure you would,” Roman says.

“Yes,” the man replies. “With your superior flair for business, skill in, uh, dealing with competition effectively, and our experience, I'm sure we could take the real estate development market by storm.”

“I'm not interested in new partners, particularly those who come uninvited when I'm enjoying time with my family,” I hear my husband say frostily.

“I hear you, I hear you,” another man says. “I would want to spend precious time with such a beautiful family as well. You're a lucky man, Trent.”

“In what way, Gareth?” Roman asks.

“You and your wife seem to be in love. Love is a very rare thing. As you know, most of us marry for power.”

Roman makes an annoyed, dismissive sound. “There is no love,” he says. “She is just a wife. I have yet to experience this true love you talk about. If that's ever going to happen, then that woman hasn’t come into my life yet.” A pause. “My wife… she makes a good, loyal partner. That's it.”

“Damn,” the first man says. “Here I was, thinking you were the luckiest man in the world.”

“You were mistaken,” Roman says coldly.

I don't hear the rest of the words exchanged.

I step away from the door. One, two, three backward steps, and then do a one-eighty.

The plate I'm holding is shaking so badly in my hand, but I maintain a firm grip on it. I don't want to drop it and have them realize I was standing by the door.

“Are you alright?”

An older couple who I know to be cousins of Mama watch me as I come down the stairs.

I put a smile on, even though I can feel the tears stinging my eyes. “I'm fine,” I say.

“It must be pregnancy hormones,” the woman says sympathetically.

“What?” I say, my voice wobbling.

“Poor thing,” she says. “Here, I'll take that. You should get some rest.”

“Oh, I — thank you,” I say, handing her the plate as I turn to go back up the stairs, hoping I don’t come across anyone else, particularly all the men in that room.

I text Adrianne: have a headache, just gonna lie down for a bit , and she texts me back two worried-face emojis. Then: do you have Tylenol?

Me: I have some in my room. Thanks.

Adrianne: I’ll come up to check on you

Me: No its not that bad enjoy the party with black dress girl ;)

Adrianne: stoppppppppp

The kids are running on the landing, so I try to hold it together until I'm past our bedroom door. His scent is so strong in here, mixed with mine. I burst into tears.

Feeling too crushed to take off my dress, I lie on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

He lied.

He doesn't love me.

His words echo and echo: My heart belongs to you only.

Everything was a lie.

My eyes land on the crystal chandelier, on the other dresses we bought earlier that lie cascading on the armchair. Nothing feels real: the jewelry at my wrists, the five-thousand-dollar scent at my neck…

I open the cabinet drawer and take out a bottle of sleeping pills. I take two, and my body relaxes slowly, sinking into a troubled sleep.