A Break in Communications

Chapter 17

Anna

Lucy pulled one hell of a disappearing act. I barely saw her on Friday, but I guess whatever gave me the opening to get some work in. Put my nose to the grindstone over the weekend, and I threw myself fully into the work to make sure I spent as little time as possible thinking about Lucy—about Masters.

And it seemed like it was working. Things were great, everything coming together. Officially approached Gould about the event, and he was as approachable as he had been at the holiday party, saying he’d be delighted to be a part of it.

Which was great until he mentioned how he’d love to see me and Lucy again. I’d kind of forgotten how he still thought we were dating… I didn’t know how we were going to resolve that part, but honestly, I didn’t want to resolve it.

And it should have been even better when I saw Dobbs on Monday morning and he invited me into the office with a big smile on his face, and I’d barely sat down before he hit me with, “I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, but—what do you think you’d like to do with the office, Anna?”

I blinked at him a solid six or seven times. “Er… does it reflect better on me in the process if I say putting trees in it?”

“You don’t need to suck up. You’re already the top candidate for the position. I talked to Janet in HR and even got to chat to Michael Berg and everything seems clear for it to go through. You’re everybody’s favorite to take over here once I go.”

I stared a while longer before I sputtered awkwardly in saying, “That—uh—really? I mean—that’s great, of course, but—” I sat up taller. “What about Lucy? Masters? What about Lucy Masters—wasn’t she the favorite to take over?”

He shrugged. “She’s expressed interest in staying where she is for the time being. Looking to other ways to move forward in the long term.”

She what? What the hell did she think gave her the right? When this was supposed to be us? When this position was supposed to be an us thing—a me and Lucy thing, head to head, competing, may the best woman win? Let me just waltz into the office without trying? She was giving up? Why?

Dobbs shifted awkwardly in his seat. “Er… well, all of this is assuming you still want to go ahead with taking on the new position.”

“Of—of course. I’m just a little blown away.” What? I wasn’t blown away, I was fuming—furious—needed to go get my hands around Lucy’s neck. Shake her and demand to know where her competitive spirit had gone and why the hell she was just abandoning this when this had been our thing.

“Everything with the press release, G&S, Matthew Gould specifically—it’s all demonstrated a lot of professional competency on your part and proved everything we were originally hoping to see from you. So, in truth—the reason I was inviting you in here was to see how you’d like a trial.”

“A—a trial? For what? A free trial? Will I get locked in if I forget to cancel?” I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore. This was how I talked when I was drunk back in college.

“Maybe, in a way,” he said, voice light. “A trial in this position. You take over the responsibilities between now and the official promotion date, take the office, and we start shifting things over to see if it’s a good fit after all.”

“But—what will you do?”

“Mostly just relax, honestly. Primarily I just don’t want to work anymore.”

Okay—that was fair. And unsurprising. I’d already known his MO going into this.

What? How the hell had Lucy backed out? Did she just not care? And if not then why and also how did I make her care again?

“But—well—okay,” I said, my head still spinning. “I mean, that sounds fantastic. I’m completely… completely on board. Just a little blown away.” I’d already said that. Whatever. I couldn’t be expected to use words intelligently right now. “So—what do I do?”

“For now, just keep going as you’re going. And we’ll see about your new trial. I won’t say congratulations just yet, but…” He stood up, clapping his hands on his thighs as he went in that way old men always did. “But be prepared for when I do.”

I didn’t want his congratulations. I wanted—I didn’t know what I wanted. Lucy to come sit on my desk and pick a fight with me? What the hell was wrong with me?

He told me to just keep going as you’re going, but once I got back to my desk, I couldn’t focus for my life. Couldn’t get anything together, staring blankly at my screen, Slack messages flooding in around the event planning and the coordinators arguing, and I just read them and reread them without taking any of it in.

Lucy wasn’t even at her desk. Daniel caught me staring and explained, sympathetically, that she was working remotely today. I burned. I didn’t need his sympathy. Maybe the water cooler dissemination method wasn’t the best approach. Everybody was internalizing their own idea of what me and Lucy not being together looked like now. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Kelcey had turned the story into something dramatic and awful and half the office found out through her, and…

I moved like an automaton when I clocked out for a break, walking to the breakroom and sitting down, not even any food with me or anything, taking a small cup of coffee and not touching it. I’d gotten about two sips in when I got a call, and I picked it up assuming it was work and glad to have a distraction, but my stomach sank when I saw Mom’s name on the caller ID.

I didn’t want to have to talk to her about Lucy… I swallowed hard, answering it. Maybe I was a masochist. Maybe I was just a sucker for Mom.

“Hello?” I said, and her voice spilled through in an anxious rush.

“Sweetie, are you doing all right?”

No, of course not. Why wouldn’t I have been? I had Lucy off my back, I had the promotion in the bag, I had an event going smoothly. What was going on? “What?”

“Oh, honey, you sound exhausted. Do you need anything? We’re here however we can be.”

“Huh?” I doubted Mom was that concerned about my crisis of confidence with Lucy out of the office.

“I heard everything from Veronica.”

My stomach dropped, head spinning. Was that—did she mean about me and Lucy not being together after all? Jesus, this was what I’d been going for, so I didn’t know why it hurt like a knife in the chest. “You, uh… you heard everything?”

“Mm. She heard it from your friend Kelcey.”

That… didn’t make any sense. Veronica had heard it from me. “What?”

“I’m glad Lucy has you there for her right now, but don’t forget you have your whole family here for you too. We love you and we love Lucy and we want to help.”

“With—what?” My head was fuzzy.

“With anything we can be helpful with,” she said, her voice soft. Patronizing, almost. More just… I think she thought I was this fuzzy because of sleep deprivation and she was speaking like I was a child. I kind of needed it right now, embarrassingly. “Veronica said that Kelcey said that Lucy said that the doctors said—” I heard her start over. “I’ve heard her grandmother’s supposed to make a full recovery, but I know what it’s like to have an elderly relative in the hospital for a while. It’s not easy.”

I wasn’t fuzzy anymore. The word hospital cleared it all up for me like adjusting the radio making the sound suddenly come in perfectly, and my stomach dropped hard.

Lucy’s grandmother. The reason she’d disappeared so suddenly. She hadn’t told me?

I mean—why the hell would she tell me?

That didn’t matter. I wanted her to tell me. And I didn’t want to talk to Mom right now. I stood up, pushing my coffee away.

“It’s not—I’ll let you know if we need help with something,” I said, my voice tumbling out in an urgent rush. “Sorry, Mom—it’s really nice to hear from you, but Lucy needs something—”

“Oh, go, go,” she said, matching my urgency. “Just wanted to let you know we love you both and we’re here for you. Go do what you need. I love you and I’ll talk to you later, Veronica.”

“Thank you—I love you too and I’ll see Veronica later,” I blurted, hanging up the phone, only realizing then that I’d put Veronica’s name in where it didn’t belong too. Guess I was turning into my mom with age. I didn’t care.

I was out the door before I even realized it, and I didn’t notice I was sending a message to Dobbs telling him I had an emergency outside the office to attend to until I’d sent it, and I didn’t even realize I was in the car until I was halfway there, crawling through busy streets in the city center with my heart in my mouth straining at every traffic jam through snow-lined streets full of Christmas decorations that I wasn’t really feeling the cheer about right now.

I didn’t actually question what hospital it was until I was in the doors, but—given where Lucy’s grandmother lived, it would make sense she’d be here, and I guess I just—had to hope. I was in luck, though, as the woman at the information desk smiled when I gave her my name in a rush, told her I was here for Charlotte Masters.

“Anna Preston?” she said, tapping at her computer. “It looks like Miss Charlotte Masters has you listed as an approved contact… you’re clear to go on up. You’re looking for room B604. Take the elevator on your left and follow the signs for Orthopedics.”

“Thank you—thank you so much.” Lucy’s grandmother had named me specifically as an approved visitor? Maybe Lucy was right about her liking me, despite… well… appearances. I turned and hurried down the hall towards the elevators, and I felt it crawl up to the sixth floor, every second taking an eternity.

I found what I’d come for in the waiting room just around the corner from B604—leaning over a coffee station with sleep-heavy rings around her eyes, talking to a nurse, Lucy Masters, rumpled and weary. I felt my stomach drop, heart pounding, as I came to a sharp stop in the hall, standing there staring at her, and I didn’t really realize that I’d dropped everything and run to the hospital until I was here.

What the hell was I doing? Honestly, that was a question to ask myself a while ago.

The nurse, a man with dark hair and a strong build, turned to look at me with a slight smile. “Can I help you find something, ma’am?”

I barely heard him. Lucy glanced my way, and she almost dropped the paper cup of coffee she clutched in one hand, jaw dropping at the sight of me.

“Anna—”

“You didn’t tell me?”

She blinked fast, looking wildly around the waiting room. “Was I—was I supposed to?”

“You backed out of the competition for the promotion and you weren’t going to tell me why? Honestly?”

She stared a while longer before she laughed, short, breathless. “You won, Anna. I know when I’ve been beaten. I’m focusing on other things.”

She wasn’t focusing on her own wellbeing, judging by that heavy look in her eyes, the rings of sleep deprivation and the frizzy hair. I hunched my shoulders. “Lucy, have you been sleeping at all?”

She looked away. “I didn’t realize you were so… worried.”

“Yes, I’m worried,” I said, throwing my hands up. “You just disappeared, and I had to hear from my mom who’d heard from Veronica who’d heard from Kelcey who’d heard—” I shook my head. “Lucy, you look awful.”

The nurse cleared his throat, and it took that much for me to remember he was even there. “I’ll give you two a second,” he said, turning away. “Talk to you later, Lucy.”

Was he flirting with her?

Ugh—what kind of a thought was that? Lucy was a lesbian anyway. And I didn’t care. She could flirt with and be flirted with by anyone. I just needed her back in the office, back… competing… with me.

Christ, I was worried about her. She looked like she was going to fall apart. And I wanted her to be okay. Guess I cared after all.

Lucy sighed, looking away. “No need to worry. Grandma’s getting better, it’s just been a lot keeping up with her and staying on top of work and everything… aren’t you supposed to be in the office right now?”

I put a hand on her arm. Didn’t realize until I was doing it, but she arched her eyebrows at me, and I realized I didn’t want to pull away. “I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re okay, Lucy.”

She stared wide-eyed at me for the longest time before she said, “Anna, what has gotten into you?”

“I… don’t know, actually.” I looked away, suddenly… shy? I didn’t know. “But I’m worried about you. Don’t really recognize you not showing up to try swiping the promotion out from under me. You’re not trying to steal the credit for the press release or anything, and I miss you.” I fumbled, feeling my face prickle. “I mean… well… you know.”

She quirked an odd smile at me, and I braced for the smart comment that didn’t come—after a second, she stepped in and hugged me, and I got a jolt down to my stomach, but I found I didn’t want to pull away. I’d missed her, whether I wanted to admit it or not, and this… I hugged her back, squeezing her, and she murmured softly against my shoulder. “Thanks, Anna.”

“Mm.” I settled for a noncommittal noise, suddenly embarrassed over why I was even here. More embarrassed still that I didn’t want to leave.

“And I missed you too, princess.”

“Yeah, yeah…” I stepped back from the hug, pointedly not looking at her. “How’s her condition?”

“Crabby and annoyed, so, normal. Pain management has been difficult and she’s had a hard time at night, so I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep, but she’s getting better. Really, though, aren’t you supposed to be at the office? Don’t tell me you took off just for little old me.”

“I took off for you, now shut up and don’t mention it again. Are you, uh…” I scratched my head. “You probably need rest.”

“I’ll be fine—”

I put my hands on her upper arms, looking her in the eye, cutting her off. “You are not minimizing this,” I said. “We’re getting you back into the office.”

She looked crestfallen. “What—all of this is just because you need help in the office? Here I’d thought maybe you couldn’t stay away from me.”

Apparently I couldn’t. Whatever. I wasn’t thinking about anything right now. “I’m not going to feel right if I just win the promotion by default. And it’s going to haunt me and that position forever, so… so we’re… we’re making this work. Tell me what we’re doing and how I can help so you can get some rest.”

She laughed, breathlessly, shaking her head. “Anna…”

“What?”

She smiled wider. “Nothing. Forget it. Right now I’ve been on arguing duty, trying to get through to insurance to get the right medications covered for Grandma’s pain management. I don’t think there’s much you can do—”

“I’m on it. Should I go see her, or does she not want to see my face?”

She cleared her throat, and she was… she was blushing. It was always cute seeing her embarrassed when she was normally so cool. “Uh—well. The truth is, she’s been telling me constantly to bring you around. I hadn’t had the heart to tell her we weren’t dating, so…”

“That’s fine,” I heard myself say without really thinking it through, and she raised her eyebrows high at me.

“Is it?”

“If it’s what she needs right now,” I said, shrugging. “I’ll give her all the nice things she wants to hear.”

She cleared her throat. “If she asks you for chili, you can ignore her… she was getting on me about not dating a housewife who cooks and cleans, and I said you make a great three-bean chili.”

I put my hands on my hips. “See, if you communicated with me, we could have avoided this, and I could have shown up with three-bean chili. I’ll have it for her next time.”

She raised her eyebrows higher still. “What, you do have a secret chili recipe?”

“I will shortly. I’ll tell her I’m simmering a batch in my slow cooker right now. Slow cooker feels like a pretty domestic housewife kind of thing to have, right?”

She laughed, hanging her head. “You’re not bad at this, Preston.”

I squeezed her hand. Didn’t even realize it was in my hand until I did, but whatever. This poor woman needed a break. “Go get some rest, Lucy. I’ll figure out what I can about the insurance and report back after, and if I don’t make headway, we’ll put our heads together.”

“I, uh… I will.” She pursed her lips, still not looking directly at me. “Just ignore anything she says.”

“Was fully already planning on it.”

She gave me a look I couldn’t read, meeting my gaze with something loaded, and she held it for a second before she said, “I’m… I’m glad you’re here.”

I felt my face prickle, and I looked away. “Would have been here earlier if you’d said something.”

“Guess that’s on me. What kind of communications director am I?”

“A terrible one who’s not going to get the promotion before me. Now go.”

I watched her go down the hallway, slumping as she went—all the exhaustion catching up to her finally, I could only imagine. Didn’t matter. I was good at what I did. I could manage the workload while getting her back on her feet, make sure her grandmother was fine, and still beat her for the promotion.

I really… really liked her. How long had I felt this way, anyway? I’d taken her for granted so much, always having her around, maybe these feelings had predated the weekend with my family…

Didn’t really have the time to deal with these realizations right now, though. The nurse from before was waiting outside B604 when I got there, taking notes on a tablet, and he lowered it with a smile my way.

“You’re Lucy’s girlfriend?” he said, and I paused for a second.

“Uh—yeah. Did she mention—?”

“Charlotte did. She and Lucy have been talking about you nonstop. Seems like Charlotte’s been anxious for you to come visit.”

“Ah…” I swallowed, shifting from one foot to the other. “I have a huge project coming up at work and Lucy was minimizing this to try to save me from worrying about it, so I didn’t know how serious it was… ran here as soon as I found out. I already laid into her. Don’t worry, I’ll be around.”

He smiled warmly my way. “Honestly, Lucy needs the care more than Charlotte does. That woman’s burning herself out. We’re all glad you’re here, Anna.”

Lucy’s girlfriend. Did I want that? Some part of me did, judging by the nervous feeling in my chest when I thought about it.

But I’d think about that later. I finished pleasantries with the nurse, who introduced himself as Elliott, and I got inside the room to where Charlotte was sitting up in bed with a sling, and she shot me a withering look the instant I got inside.

“Anna Marie Preston,” she said, and I didn’t even want to know how she knew my middle name. “What the hell took you so long to get here? And where’s my damn chili?”

Seemed like she was doing all right after all. I beamed. “Blame your granddaughter. She was pretending everything was fine. I found out you were in the hospital about fifteen minutes ago and came here as fast as I could. I’ve been freaked out for days about why Lucy hasn’t been around as much, but she’s been pretending everything is fine.”

She scowled. “That damn woman. Okay, Anna, you win this round, I believe that from her.”

“But don’t worry, Miss Charlotte, I’ve already got a meal in the crockpot I can bring around soon so Lucy doesn’t have to do all the cooking. I’m trying to learn more recipes so I can spoil her, and this is my personal favorite three-bean chili. I think you’ll like it.”

She settled back in the bed, relaxing, a small smile finding its way across her features. “ Miss Charlotte. Making it sound like I’m a little twenty-something lady again.”

“I mean, if I didn’t know you were Lucy’s grandmother, I’d have thought you were twenty-four.”

“Hm. Let’s go with twenty-seven. It’s closer to Elliott’s age.”

I paused. “Should I… take that to mean you were hitting on your nurse?”

“I mean, look at him! Bah—you’re a lesbian too. Forget it.”

“I’m bisexual.”

“Look at him! How can I not hit on him?”

I came over and sat down next to her, and I couldn’t help myself—knew I was supposed to be focusing on her and on her condition right now, but I said, “Is Lucy okay? She looked so tired…”

“Is she okay? I’m in the hospital, and you’re asking about her?”

“I’m in love with her. I’m not in love with you.”

“Bah. Touché.” She chuckled. “Maybe you’re not too bad. Ah… she’s running herself ragged. I told her not to, but you know how she is.”

“Stubborn woman. I am, too, though.”

“Maybe you’ll have better luck getting through to her than I have.”

“Trying to. I sent her off to go take a nap.”

She scowled. “That woman has been subsisting off vending machine snacks for days now. Forget me. Go cook for her.”

I stood up, all too happy to take the offer. “I’m taking over talking to the insurance, and hopefully we’ll figure something out together. But I’ll be back around soon with good news about your granddaughter, good news about your insurance, and some damn good chili.”

“I’m crotchety and in a foul mood all the time right now. It better be some damn good chili if you want me to not yell at you about it.”

Ah, well, I could manage that. I mean, I’d be cooking it for Lucy, and for some reason, I wanted to make her the best food I possibly could.

I mean, for some reason was probably because I was hopelessly in love and couldn’t imagine my life without her around, but I wasn’t quite ready to deal with that whole thing yet.