A Forbidden Night with a Scot (Sins in a Kilt #1)

Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

E very breakfast had been a tense affair of late, and the one Samuel had with everyone else that morning was no exception. As always, Gavin sat at the head of the table, while Samuel and Nerian occupied his left side, and Alicia and Katherine occupied his right.

The entire time they were eating, Alicia had not said a single thing.

I truly have ruined everythin’ after what I did.

Alicia could hardly look at him for a single moment before averting her gaze, and Samuel didn’t know if it was due to embarrassment or disgust. Had his actions the previous night shown her that he was not the kind of man she wanted? Had she finally come to realize that what they were doing was wrong?

On the one hand, that would put an end to all the foolishness and Alicia would never try to approach him again. On the other, the last thing Samuel wanted was for Alicia to be so dreadfully repelled by him, to think of him as nothing but a beast who couldn’t control his appetites around her. He didn’t want her opinion of him to fall so low.

The morning seemed to be at odds with the mood around the table, the sun shining brightly through the windows; a favorable weather for the trip they were about to take. Gavin, too, seemed unaware of the tension once again, or at least he completely ignored it, not saying a single word on the matter.

What he said instead was, “I think it would be best if we followed ye tae Castle MacLachlan, Samuel. It’s on our way, so we can rest there fer a few days an’ then continue on tae Castle MacTavish.”

Samuel choked on the bite of egg he was chewing, a piece lodging itself in his throat. Next to him, Nerian scooted closer and slapped him hard on the back until Samuel could breathe again, taking a tentative sip from his cup.

He wasn’t the only one shocked by Gavin’s suggestion. Across from him, Alicia’s face had turned a deep red, and even Katherine seemed concerned by the prospect of her sister spending even more time with Samuel.

He didn’t dare look at Nerian. Instead, Samuel looked resolutely ahead, trying to give Gavin a nonchalant shrug. “I’m sure the lasses need more time tae prepare.”

“Och aye!” said Alicia, immediately latching onto the excuse. “We dinnae have time tae pack all our belongings, Faither. I’m sure Samuel an’ Nerian are in a rush tae return.”

“The servants can pack everythin’ fer ye,” Gavin said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “It will only take them half an hour or so. What is it that ye need other than clothes?”

Samuel glanced at Alicia, and he could almost see the cogs turning in her mind as she tried to come up with something to say, anything that would delay their departure. In the end, though, she only remained silent, gaze falling onto the full plate in front of her.

She hadn’t touched any of her breakfast. All she had done all morning was push the food around, bringing none of it to her lips.

Samuel couldn’t blame her, though. He hardly had an appetite himself.

“It is decided,” said Gavin, in that tone of his that left no room for argument. “Besides, if there is trouble at the borders, Samuel, I wish tae help if I can. We will visit yer home fer a few days an’ then we’ll be on our way.”

Samuel couldn’t refuse without seeming suspicious or downright inhospitable. Gavin was a good friend, after all, and Samuel had spent plenty of time in his home.

“Alright,” he said. “We will delay our departure until everyone is ready.”

Pleased, Gavin tucked back into his food, but no one else around the table seemed to have any more appetite. Samuel was just glad the breakfast was soon over and he and Nerian could busy themselves with the preparations for their travel, gathering their belongings and saddling their horses for the long ride. By the time they were ready, Gavin had made sure that three more horses had been prepared, along with his belongings and those of his daughters, and the five of them soon left Castle MacLachlan, taking the path leading down the hill.

It was going to be a long day. Samuel was already dreading it, but thankfully, Nerian quickly engaged Gavin in a lively conversation, and so Samuel himself only had to speak every now and then, offering an opinion or a grunt of agreement to the two men. Otherwise, he was free to ride at the front, leading their group so that he wouldn’t have to talk to Alicia or even acknowledge her existence, and he was glad to find that she had no intention of speaking to him, either.

At the same time, the disappointment of being ignored so completely was difficult to swallow, even if it was for the best.

Despite the nice weather near Castle MacLachlan, the farther they got from it, the more the sky began to change, its bright blue turning into steel grey as a nearby storm approached them. They were not even halfway to the castle before the sky had darkened so much that Samuel brought his horse to a halt, the others stopping behind him, concerned by the sudden change. The air around them was thick with moisture, heavy and oppressive, and the rain would soon start to fall.

“There is a town nearby,” said Gavin, likely having the same thought as Samuel. “We can find shelter there until the storm passes.”

Samuel nodded and let Gavin lead the group this time, and the rest of the short ride passed in silence as they all rushed to make it to the town. The first drops of rain had started to fall just as they made it to the inn, and Samuel was glad to see it was a large structure, one that could hopefully house them all for the night.

Once he stepped inside, the place looked a little smaller, more intimate than it had first appeared to him. The ground floor held a large fire and several tables for the patrons, many of them filled, and an older woman stood behind a counter, cleaning cup after cup with a rag.

It was a lively place, nothing like the tavern he had visited when he had first arrived in MacCallum lands. A safe place, or at least safe enough for Alicia and Katherine to be there, even without him, Nerian, or Gavin keeping an eye on them at all times.

As Gavin secured rooms for them for the night, Samuel followed the others to a large, round table near the fireplace. Alicia and Katherine took the seats closest to the flames, shivering with the cold that had seeped into their bones from the trip, and still holding onto their wool cloaks even as they sat.

“If ye were cold, ye should have said somethin’,” said Samuel. It was the first thing he had told them that day. “We could have given ye another cloak.”

“We’re fine,” Alicia said a little too quickly. Samuel was certain everyone around the table was holding onto the same secret, all of them stuck in the same limbo, trying to conceal the truth from each other—and most importantly, from Gavin.

Samuel was about to speak, to insist that they had to keep warm as they travelled, but then Gavin came to join them, sitting between his daughters, and he fell silent once more.

He could hardly take this, this fear of Gavin finding out the truth. Every passing moment was torture, and Samuel cursed the moment he decided to let the three MacCallums go with him. He should have found an excuse. He should have said something to prevent this.

“They have four rooms,” Gavin said. “We are lucky tae come when we did, before anyone else took them.”

Though he nodded, Samuel wouldn’t call himself lucky.

The trip had been uncomfortable so far, just as Alicia had expected, and it only got worse now that they had to spend the rest of the day and the night in that inn. The only thing that gave her some comfort was the knowledge that she and Katherine would have their own room, where Alicia could retreat, hopefully sooner rather than later.

She could always claim to have a headache or to be tired from the trip, she thought. Surely, her father would let her rest.

As the serving wench brought them food and drinks, Alicia found that she was starving after that long ride and after skipping breakfast. She had been too absorbed by her thoughts that morning to eat, thinking about all the reasons Samuel was avoiding her and what she could do to fix it in the little time she had left with him, but she couldn’t come up with a single idea. No matter how much she tried to talk to him, Samuel always claimed he knew better than she did and insisted what they were doing was wrong, despite Alicia’s assurances that it was precisely what she desired.

Why would he change his mind now? If anything, he was probably frightened by the events of the previous night, that misplaced guilt gnawing at him until there was nothing left.

“Where are ye comin’ from, traveler?”

Alicia looked up at the question to see the serving wench smiling at Samuel as she rested a hand on the back of his chair. It was not a friendly smile that Alicia saw—no, it was flirtatious, confident and playful in a way she wasn’t, and the woman’s eyes never once strayed from him.

Samuel gave the woman a small shrug. “Nae too far from here,” he said vaguely with a smile of his own.

“Well, I wish ye would have come sooner,” said the woman, much to the amusement of Alicia’s father. Alicia couldn’t find the humor in it, though. Her cheeks warmed, anger coursing through her at the thought that this woman was trying to flirt with Samuel.

Or was it something else which bothered her, she wondered? Could it be that the true source of her anger was her fear that she would never measure up to someone like her?

The woman was pretty, with long, auburn hair and green eyes, freckles spreading over her nose and cheeks, but it wasn’t only her beauty which drew men’s eyes on her. It was also the way she moved and talked, unabashed and looking as though she was in full control of not only herself, but the situation, as well.

Now that Alicia was paying more attention to her, she could see many of the other patrons tracking her movements. They were watching her, all wishing they could have the attention she was giving Samuel.

Either way, she couldn’t resist the urge to roll her eyes at the blatant flirting, petulantly crossing her arms over her chest. The woman had no way of knowing Alicia’s true feelings for Samuel, but that mattered little to her in that moment, when she watched the woman lean so close. The jealousy that bubbled up inside her was too much to overlook, settling heavy in her stomach and cutting her appetite short.

“What is yer name, handsome?” the woman asked, and Alicia answered for him before he could.

“Laird Samuel MacLachlan,” she said drily, hoping the woman would take the hint and leave them alone. “Could we have some more ale?”

The woman, along with everyone at the table, turned to look at Alicia, and it was then she realized just how much attention she had attracted. Most of all, it was her father’s attention that she didn’t want, just as much as she didn’t want to acknowledge the confused frown, he gave her.

“O’ course,” the woman said, looking at Alicia for only a moment, before she turned back to Samuel. “A laird, hmm? It isnae often a laird stays here, but I’ll make sure that ye enjoy yer stay.”

Alicia’s scowl deepened and it was then that she felt a gentle touch on her thigh. She glanced at Samuel, who had leaned a little closer to her and was looking between her and the woman, as if he was trying to calm Alicia before she lost her temper in front of everyone.

As the woman left to bring the ale, her father laughed and said, “Ach, Samuel, still popular with the lasses, I see. What is it about ye that drives them mad?”

Aye, o’ course he is popular. Why wouldnae every lass want him?

Samuel was handsome, with his long, blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He was a kind man, too, his warmth radiating from him even when he tried to build walls around him. He cared for others and it showed in everything he did, so it was no wonder that women liked him.

Still, it had never crossed Alicia’s mind before, and now that she was thinking about it, she was filled with a profound sorrow, one that made every breath she took hurt her chest. What did she have to offer him? Why would he ever want her when he could take his pick from so many women who were older, more confident, more knowledgeable in the pleasures of the flesh?

Sooner or later, he would marry another woman, while Alicia would marry Laird MacTavish. No matter how much she wished something would prevent her marriage, she knew it was unlikely. Then, she and Samuel would be nothing but a memory to each other—two people once brought so close by desire slowly turning into complete strangers.

Suddenly, it was all too much to bear and Alicia was suffocating in the despair of her own thoughts. Her bottom lip trembled, and the gentle hand on her thigh only served to make everything worse, to remind her of everything she couldn’t have.

“Excuse me,” she said before the tears could start to fall, and she stood abruptly, the legs of her chair scraping against the stone floor. “I’m afraid I was just overcome by a great weakness. I will head tae the chambers an’ rest.”

In an instant, her father stood as well, alarmed by her words. “Are ye alright? Shall we fetch the healer? This town must have one.”

“Nay, nay. I’m fine, Faither, thank ye,” Alicia assured him, already walking backwards towards the stairs that led to the rooms. “Stay. I will call fer ye if I need anythin’.”

She didn’t wait to listen to any other protests before she hurried to her rooms, all but fleeing the table. Only when she was behind the safety of her door did she finally let the tears fall.