About Time (Broken Vows #4)

Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

Hattie Past- Age 32

It’s been a few months since I stepped foot back in my hometown. I’m still trying to figure out how long Charlie is going to put on a show of wanting to be with me for real before he gets bored and moves on. I will admit that I’m a bit amused watching how far he’s willing to go. He’s pretty convincing, but I’m not the same naive young girl I was twelve years ago. This time, I’m not going to let myself fall for him, or fall harder at least.

Right now, I’m lying on the bed in Griffin’s guestroom, thinking about how everything has gone sideways since I arrived. I found an apartment close to the hospital pretty soon after I moved back, but I learned not to take family for granted. Wren has been more emotional since the baby started kicking. She broke down crying, and at first I thought it was the usual crying over a tissue commercial or something, but it was because she wanted to share this with Elisa, and couldn’t.

I’m still working a bit too much, still trying to hide out from my feelings and from Charlie. Some lessons take a bit longer to learn than they should. At least when it comes to Wren I’m no longer keeping her at arms length. I finally feel like my sister would be proud of me. So from time to time I take up residence in their guestroom. Griffin proposed to Wren recently, surprising no one. Now Wren and I are planning her wedding and the arrival of the baby.

There’s only one downside to hanging out here, Charlie is around a lot. Which means I hide in the guestroom hoping he doesn’t know I’m here. It’s pointless though. I swear the man has a radar for my presence. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to ignore him, he works harder to get me to crack. There’s a large part of me that would love nothing more than to let him in. I can’t do that though, not unless he proves it would be different this time. Not sure how he can do that if I won’t give him a chance, but that is his problem to figure out. I’m protecting my heart this time.

My mind wanders back to the first night I got here. After my chat with Charlie in my room, I was a bit on edge. The way he was acting would expose us to them, and I wasn’t ready to answer their questions. What was going on with us? How long had we been seeing each other? It isn’t the questions that I fear so much, but rather Charlie’s response to them. It was bad enough dealing with a broken heart in private, I don’t want an audience to witness the encore.

Turns out I was seriously overthinking the danger of being exposed. When we rejoined Wren and Griffin outside, it became immediately clear I had nothing to worry about. Honestly, I could have twirled flaming batons naked while riding Charlie on the patio table, and they wouldn’t have noticed a thing. They certainly didn’t notice Charlie fussing over me the whole night.

All of my doubts about Wren being with Griffin disappeared. It is clear that he is desperately in love with her. He didn’t let the opinion of others stop him from being with her openly. I’m glad, because my niece deserves more than to be someone’s dirty little secret, and so do I.

That’s why I thought that Charlie chose to socialize with Griffin and Wren. He knew they were going to be too wrapped up in each other to notice anything going on between us. He had to think it was the perfect way to placate me. It was the best way to keep me secret, but make me feel like he was okay for others to know about us.

Charlie asked me out to dinner, and my curiosity got the better of me, so I went. We went to Pine Bluff to an intimate little Italian bistro. It was the perfect setting for a romantic date. Candlelight cast a soft glow amplifying the color of the red painted walls. Dean Martin’s melodic voice crooned over the hidden sound system.

He reached across the table, and instinctually I looked around to see if anyone we knew was around. That’s when I noticed how far apart all the tables were set, and how few of them had people at them. I was disappointed, but not surprised that he picked a place where there was very little chance of being seen with me.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, and looked down at the table as I asked him, “What made you choose this restaurant?”

“It’s the quietest place I could think of. The food is good, but I have never seen it packed. I also figured we wouldn’t run into anyone.”

I exhaled, trying to calm the riot of butterflies fluttering in my chest. It was just as I’d feared, he didn’t want to be seen with me.

I had to dig in deep to muster my courage, because my natural instinct with him is to let him guide me, but he keeps guiding us the wrong way. “Do you think there’ll ever come a time when you won’t mind being seen with me?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “No, Doll, I didn’t bring you here because I’m ashamed to be seen with you. I am just not ready to share you.”

I pulled my hands free from his. “Don’t want to share me, or share that you’re with me? I’ll be honest with you, it feels like the latter to me.”

“No, I would shout it from the rooftops if that’s what you need, but I’ve only ever cared what you think. No one else, not even Griffin, knows me like you do.”

I licked my lips and whispered, “Prove it.”

That was the last time I willingly spent time around him. I’m not very strong, and being near him is more temptation than I can withstand. As much as I don’t want to, I still love him. In some ways it would be the easiest thing in the world to allow myself to pick back up a physical relationship with him. The problem is that I know for Charlie it’s only ever about sex and control, but for me it becomes so much more.

There’s a light tap on my door. Before I can say a word it opens, and Charlie slips through.

“You’re still avoiding me,” he accuses.

“No I’m not,” I lie. “I’ve just been really busy.”

“Hmph,” he scoffs. “You’re working yourself to death again just like before. You need to go out and have some fun.”

“I have fun,” I argue.

He laughs. “Prove it. Take a ride with me.”

I narrow my eyes. “Where?”

“It’s a surprise.”

I shake my head. “I don’t like surprises.”

“Fine. There’s live music at Donovan’s. I thought it would be fun to go get a drink, maybe dance a little. He’s added a kitchen to the building and has the regular bar menu now. C’mon, go out with me. I want to show you why you should stop avoiding me. It’s been months, and I’m still trying to get your attention, shouldn’t that mean something?”

This time, something feels different. Unlike the Italian restaurant, I know the bar will be full of people. My stupid, hopeful heart skips a beat. I’m finding it hard to grasp hold of the indifference I’ve been working to build. In truth, I never made it all the way to indifference, but I did manage a bit of numbness. With one request he’s smashed through my defenses. I guess I’m proving just how weak I really am, at least when it comes to him.

“Let me change first,” I say, giving in.

Harriston is so small that a house party seems like a nightclub, so for Donovan to have a band playing at the bar is a huge deal. It looks like every adult in town is here, with maybe a few exceptions.

I take a step back when we get inside. It’s an automatic reaction from all the times he’s ignored me in public. Charlie turns around and looks at me. “What are you doing?” he asks and holds out his hand.

I reach out and take it, too stunned to do anything else. “Are you sure about this?” I ask, pointedly looking at our joined hands.

He frowns after my words sink in. “I’m going to prove to you that I want you in my life. All the way in. I’m done denying how I feel and suffering being without you. Even though you’ve been here for several months, you’re not really here. I miss you, Doll.”

This is how he gets me to soften. Just a little bit. It doesn’t take long for the town to start talking about us. When Charlie doesn’t immediately deny the rumors that we’re together, I open up a little bit more, enough to agree to date him.

I keep our pace slow. If we’re going to date for real, then this time I don’t want us to jump straight into bed. There are a few things that I need to trust this is real. Until I know beyond a doubt that Charlie wants me out in the open, and not because I’m the only woman who has ever given him total control over her body, I need time.