Aching for His Discretion (The Discretion Dynasty #1)

44. Teegan

Chapter forty-four

Teegan

“ W hat’s wrong?” Abbie asked me, looking upset, and I sighed as I shook my head.

“Nothing, Abbie. I’m fine.”

“Wrong answer,” Emma said, unimpressed, as she continued working on her computer. I gave her a side-eye as I continued my paperwork while Abbie still sat beside me.

“You look tired…” she whispered, concerned, and I sighed as I pushed a piece of hair that fell from my ponytail behind my ear.

“I am,” I muttered, and she rested her chin on my arm, looking up at me with her odd and scarily adorable puppy dog eyes.

“Do you want to take a nap in the resident lounge? I can cover for you,” she asked, and I smiled softly.

“It’s fine. I’m all right.”

She nodded and waited patiently as she gazed up at me through her lashes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” she asked again, and I sighed as I leaned my head back in my chair, knowing she wouldn’t stop asking if I didn’t fill her in on what had gotten my mood so sour.

“My ex dropped by last night…” I muttered, and Emma pushed away from her computer in her rolling chair, abandoning the chart she was reviewing as she rolled over to us in a flash.

“You’re kidding,” she said in shock, as Abbie pulled away, her jaw practically touching the floor, seeming just as surprised.

I shook my head. “I’m not.”

“Daddy Levi came to see you?” Abbie asked and whined when Emma hit her on the head.

“Thank you for that,” I said to Emma as Abbie pouted.

I had told them about Levi as well as our breakup a while back. Of course, the details involving murder and torture were omitted, but they knew of him as well as how much he meant to me.

“Well, what happened?” Emma asked, and I sighed.

“He... apologized. Said he couldn’t live without me, told me he loved me and that he never wanted to leave me. And I told him no,” I muttered, and they looked at me, agape.

“What happened after that?” Emma said eagerly.

“After that, he left and came back around five in the morning. He asked to talk about what happened the night before.”

“Why do men…?” Abbie asked, confused, and I laughed softly.

“You’re going to hate me… but not as much as I am hating myself.”

“What did you do?!” Emma asked impatiently, and I shook my head.

“I invited him over for dinner tonight to talk .”

“You’re kidding,” Abbie said in shock, and Emma glared at her.

“Has she been kidding this entire conversation, Abnormal?” she asked, and I shook my head.

“I know I shouldn’t have. I know. But I don’t know. I think I’m sleep-deprived, and I’m losing it right now.”

“Go for it, but don’t have sex now. You have to make him wait—” Abbie began and whined when Emma hit her head again. I stared at her in utter shock, and she glared at us. “What! I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.”

“I’m not going to have sex with him, Abigail.”

“ Yet ,” she replied, giving me the side-eye for using her government name, and I shook my head at her antics. She rolled her eyes at both Emma and I as she continued, “Come on, Teegs. You wore that necklace around your neck like a chastity belt for the last two years. You don’t think that the second you decided to take it off and him showing up wasn’t a coincidence?”

I crossed my arms. “Is this your way of subtly calling me a prude?”

“Your words, definitely not mine. Besides, you need to build the suspense, the tension... if you do choose to take another chance. Make him pay for what he put you through,” she said almost menacingly, and I looked over at Emma for help, to which she simply shrugged.

“She’s not wrong,” she replied, and I shook my head at the both of them as Abbie spoke almost pitifully.

“And you haven’t seen him for so long. You have to build up that immunity to his sweet-talking. One look from those Italian eyes and a glance at those muscles and veins… oh, I pray for you, my sweet Teegan.”

I tried to hide my smile but failed miserably.

“…His arms did get a bit more muscular,” I whispered and laughed as they practically squealed and fell out of their chairs. I did my best to contain my laughter, but they were absolutely killing me with their reactions.

The door opened out of nowhere, and Jacob looked at us in question as he entered.

“Is there a reason why you guys are all shits and giggles?” he asked.

Emma shook her head as she stood, pulling Abbie up.

“Girl stuff, Jacob. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Just like I didn’t understand why you three get excited over candles and new body wash?” he asked, and Abbie nodded.

“Exactly… you just wouldn’t understand, I’m afraid.” She sent me a wink, and I shook my head at the both of them as I turned back to my computer.

Like I said, not only did I have new brothers, but I also had new sisters... ones which I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

Arriving at my complex, I stepped out only to see it was snowing again. This time, it looked like it was going to stick and pile up at that. Hopefully we wouldn’t be snowed in…

Entering the building, I checked for my mail only to catch a glance of Mr. Rivera sitting at the desk. He glanced up at me for a moment and shook his head slightly.

“I shouldn’t have let him in,” he muttered, and I paused for a moment as I looked over to him. “He’s upstairs. You look so sleep-deprived and exhausted… I shouldn’t have. Even if he killed me.”

I smiled sadly. I didn’t know Mr. Rivera had known who Levi was; however, I did recall him talking to the guys when they’d helped me move. And the fact that he was still concerned for my well-being said more than enough.

“Thank you for looking out for me, Mr. Rivera.”

“If not you, sweet pea, then who? Someone’s gotta make sure you’re safe. Just be careful… dealing with that man can take a toll on you.”

“Unfortunately, you don’t have to tell me twice,” I replied, and he looked out the window momentarily.

“It’s gonna snow real bad. Frank and I will be on the heating system all night if it goes out, but make sure to use the space heaters, okay?” he asked, and I nodded.

“I will. Thank you, Mr. Rivera.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

Making my way upstairs, I entered my apartment only to see it looked slightly different. Not too different, but my dishes were washed, Grayson’s litter box was cleaned, and the trash was taken out. How nice, I thought to myself and looked to see Levi sitting on my couch with Grayson, waiting.

Placing my things down, I spoke. “What happened to knocking?”

He bit his lip as he gulped softly, discreetly watching me take off my cardigan and shoes.

“Force of habit…” he replied, and I nodded as Abbie’s voice filled my head.

Build the suspense, the tension... if you do choose to take another chance. Make him pay for what he put you through.

Abnormal… please. Out of my thoughts.

“Bad habits are hard to break, I suppose,” I muttered and looked over to the kitchen counter to see a few bags of takeout. “And what’s all this?”

“Well, you said you’d be home by seven, and it’s eight thirty now. I hope you don’t think it’s rude, but I thought you wouldn’t want to come home to cook or clean. So, I decided I’d help you out a bit.”

I gave a small smile. “Not at all. I’ll take a quick shower and see what it is that you’ve brought,” I said appreciatively, and he nodded as he looked down at Grayson, who seemed to be clinging to him.

Going into my bedroom, I got undressed and took a quick, much-needed shower. Afterward, I threw my hair in a messy bun and put on a cute loungewear set before going back over to the living room.

My food was already laid out, and my mouth practically watered at the smell of the carne asada tacos. Sitting on the other end of the couch as a precaution to put some space between us, I cleared my throat.

“Thank you for this.”

“It’s the least I could do… truly,” he replied, and we began eating in silence. Well… I stuffed my face while he simply watched me in admiration .

After a short while of me embarrassing myself, he spoke.

“Couldn’t help but notice you took off your necklace…”

I didn’t say anything for a moment. I couldn’t. It was his first real gift to me, a symbol of our growing relationship with one another. I kept it on for years… but now—

“Didn’t have much of a reason to keep it on.”

“Won’t argue with you there,” he replied, and I felt indifferent. I didn’t want to say he truly had changed… because I had made that mistake before. But by the way he talked, the way he was trying to control his emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, it wasn’t about him showing control. Instead, he was relying on mine. He was basing his plans on whether or not I wanted him near. Granted, it had only been a day, and I was in need of sleep, but I could tell something had changed.

“About last night…” I began, and he sighed.

“I came on a bit strong, hmm?”

I had to get myself under control, and I couldn’t do it with you there. I had to learn how to fucking live without you because I realized that I quite literally can’t live without you. I can’t eat, breathe, or sleep without you being on my mind.

“Just a little, yeah…” More than a little… a lot, actually.

“Still working on that, I guess.”

“How is therapy, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He paused in thought before he nodded. “It’s… fine. He tells me things I don’t quite like to hear about myself, but it helps… it helps to know the kind of person I am when I look in the mirror.”

“Do you think that person changed?” I asked, and he simply stared at me, the words barely audible as he replied,

“I hope he did.”

We ate for a little while longer before he decided to stand, grabbing his trash.

“I… probably should head out. I don’t think we’re ready to have that conversation again and I don’t want to upset you,” he muttered, and I looked out of the window absentmindedly as he walked to the kitchen to dispose of the trash.

After a moment, I stood, walking over to the window only to see the snow was not only covering up the window, but it was basically a winter wonderland outside.

Not a car in sight, the snow covered all of the roads, cars, tires, everything. I knew it was going to come down hard, but I didn’t think it would be this bad.

Sighing for the hundredth time tonight, I played with the end of my sleeve as I turned to face Levi, who had just come back from the kitchen.

“You can sleep on the couch,” I blurted out slightly, and he furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s dangerous outside. The snow is getting really bad, and they probably won’t be cleaning the streets until the early morning. I don’t want you to drive in it,” I said sincerely, and he approached me as he looked out the window as well.

Turning back to me, I blushed at our proximity, and he gave me a head-to-toe glance before speaking.

“If you insist…”