Blade (Silver Shadows MC #1)

Chapter Twenty

Beck

Blade led me down the hallway outside the bar, past the kitchen to the staircase. I hadn’t been upstairs before. When we reached his door, he didn’t open it immediately.

He stood in front of his bedroom door, looking me over.

“Are you sure?”

I looked up at him.

Was I sure? This was the first man that had any effect on me since I was fifteen. Didn’t I owe it to myself to try?

“I don’t know. I won’t know unless I try, right? Don’t think, just feel? I know how you make me feel, Blade. I know I want to feel more. Will I be able to go through with it? Maybe.” I shrugged.

Placing his hands on my shoulders and sliding them down my arms to my hands, he lifted my hands and kissed my knuckles.

“If at any time you want to stop, we stop. No matter what.” He demanded, “Promise me you’ll tell me if you want to stop.”

“I promise.”

Opening the door, he pulled me in, closing the door behind him and leaving everything and everyone else outside the room.

“If you only knew how long I’ve wanted this,” he said.

Sliding his cut over his shoulders, I said nothing as he hung it on the back of the door.

Turning back to me, he took a deep breath.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t contain myself right now.”

Taking a step forward, I placed my hands against his chest. Leaning up on my toes, I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and whispered in his ear, “I don’t want you contained. I want everything you have.”

He captured my face in his hands and kissed me.

This kiss differed from the others. It was hungry, and it was desperate. It was like he could feel everything inside me and he was feeding off it. He nipped my bottom lip, asking for entry, and I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped when his tongue slipped inside my mouth.

My hands on his chest felt the rumble when he growled as his lips moved along my jaw, finding my ear and biting my ear lobe. The moment of pain shot to my center and my knees buckled.

Blade, with a speed I couldn’t comprehend, wrapped one arm around my back, holding me in place. His other hand reached around, fisting my hair, and he tilted my head to deepen the kiss.

I slid my arms up around his neck, pulling at his hair to keep him from moving away.

He must have sensed what I was doing because he pulled away a fraction and said, “I’m not going anywhere, baby. You aren’t leaving this room until I’ve had every inch of you under me.”

He reached over his head, grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it forward in that sexy way.

I gasped. My eyes couldn’t stop staring at his chiseled chest and rock-hard abs. I had never been this close to a man before. I was nervous, but excited for what I was about to experience.

Chuckling, he asked, “See something you like?”

I gazed into his eyes, biting my lip. Words weren’t possible, so I simply nodded. I stood there, frozen, letting my eyes roam over his tattoos until I’d had my fill. His body was beautifully decorated, almost as if he were a work of art. I couldn’t tear my eyes away even if I tried.

Blade growled.

“Come here, baby, it’s my turn.”

Reaching for the hem of my T-shirt, he pulled it up and over my head, exposing my lace covered breasts.

“Damn, baby, you are beautiful.”

Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulled me toward him and buried his face in my neck, kissing my neck with just the right amount of pressure that sent chills throughout my body. I’d never felt anything like this before in my life. I truly didn’t know how to describe what I was feeling, only that I never wanted it to stop.

Kissing his way down my collarbone toward my chest, he led me down a path of euphoria, almost as if I were in some swirling mass of seduction that he created. And when he latched onto my nipple through my bra and lightly sucked, I cried out as my body came alive in a blinding flash of light.

Reaching out for his shoulders, I held on tight as he coaxed every nerve in my body until I was wound taunt like a tightrope.

I didn’t know what was happening, only that I didn’t want it to stop. I needed more, but I didn’t know what more was or how to ask for it.

Almost as if he were reading my mind, he lifted his head to my ear and whispered, “Baby, if you come just from me sucking your nipples, I don’t think I’ll last long enough to get inside you.”

“Blade, I don’t… I can’t…” I sputtered, not knowing how to speak the words.

He reached behind me, unclasping my bra, letting it fall to the floor.

Returning to my breasts, he whispered, “Let go, baby. Don’t think, just feel.”

He clamped down on my nipple once more, then gently nipped the same area. The pain, followed by the pleasure, was almost unbearable.

“Blade, please,” I begged.

Lifting me from the floor, I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed me against the wall. I could feel his hard cock against my core as he continued to nip, lick, and suck at my breasts while he ground himself between my legs.

I couldn’t breathe. Delicious foreign sensations overwhelmed me. My mind swirled with a desire I’d never felt before. I couldn’t keep up as he kept driving me closer and closer to some precipice I didn’t understand. My body felt as if it were about to explode.

I pushed against him, and he stopped.

He looked up at me, concern showing in his expression. “You ok? Do you want to stop?”

“No!” I cried.

“Tell me what you need, baby.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t know how to get what I need.”

He leaned into me, pressing me harder against the wall. His body as hard as the wall behind me. It should have hurt, but the pressure was delicious, almost intoxicating.

Tightening my legs around his waist, I tried for more, but not knowing what more was. Blade moved back to my throat, sucking and nipping while pushing against me.

I knew the logistics of sex.

I knew tab A slid into slot B, but this was different.

We hadn’t even gotten all our clothes off.

“Blade, please, I need…”

“Tell me, baby, tell me what you need.”

“I don’t know,” I whispered, but felt like crying. I couldn’t articulate what I wanted, no… needed. It was all too much.

I was a writer for crying out loud. Words were my life, yet it was like I had lost all capability to think.

Going with what I knew, I urged, “Kiss me.”

He took my mouth with so much fervor I felt like I was drowning.

His hands moved to my hips, and he steered me to move with him. Something was building. The pressure, the awareness of him against me, was lifting me higher. Just when I thought I couldn’t endure it anymore, he whispered to me.

“Come for me, baby, let me have it.”

I wanted to give it to him, whatever it was. I would give him anything he asked for if he would just give me something to contain the emotions that were swirling around.

I felt like I was caught in a tornado, spinning and spinning but held in midair. Floating above the ground but never making it to the top.

That’s when I felt it. The rush through my body, the shiver along my skin. My body tensed, my mouth opened, but nothing came out. My eyes remained closed while my body soared. When the feeling faded, I slumped against him, spent.

“Damn, that was sexy.”

The effort it took to open my eyes was almost too much to expend.

He was watching me. His pupils dilated.

“That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet.”

“There’s more?” I asked naively.

Good God, I wouldn’t survive more.

He snickered. “So much more. That was just the appetizer.”

Blade lowered me to the floor, and I wondered if I could stand. He guided me to sit on the bed and kneeled before me to take off my boots.

I flopped back on the bed. My body had no energy left to even sit up. Once my boots were gone, Blade reached for the snap on my jeans.

“Come on, baby, we need to get these jeans off. I need to see that pussy that’s been waiting for me. After the way you just came, I bet that your panties are drenched.”

He pulled my jeans and panties down with no help from me. Spreading my legs, he whistled. Gliding his finger down my seam, I started. Struggling to lean up on my elbows, I looked down my body at him.

“What are you doing?”

Looking up at me with a sexy grin, he said, “I told you, it’s my turn now.”

Before I could ask what he meant, he leaned in and slid his tongue up my center.

Holy Mother of Godiva Chocolate!

I may have had no energy seconds before, but I was awake and alert now.

“Mmmm. Delicious.”

Blade placed his hands on the back of my knees and pulled me to the edge of the bed. Lifting my legs to his shoulders, he dove back in between my thighs.

I fell back to the bed, grabbing for anything as my body woke with the force of a tsunami. The moment his tongue connected with my core, every nerve electrified. I wondered if I could handle more while hoping I would have the chance to find out. I felt him everywhere as he continued his assault, holding me close as he continued to drive me higher and higher to that precipice as the pressure built once more. His tongue circled my clit, and I whimpered.

His hands moved to the backs of my thighs, and he pressed my legs up toward my stomach and out, as he sucked my clit into his mouth. I cried out, not understanding, yet never wanting this feeling to stop. It was right there, almost out of reach. I could feel it right beyond the horizon. Releasing my legs, they fell back to his shoulders, and he reached up to twist my nipple.

I bucked against his face, and his arm pinned me to the bed.

His onslaught was relentless. His tongue left my clit to circle my opening.

“Blade, please,” I begged once more.

What was he doing to me? How were the simple things he was doing to me causing such complex feelings to erupt inside me. I had known joy once; I had known happiness once upon a time. However, this was different. This was euphoria.

“How are you doing this?”

He chuckled against my skin as he pushed a finger inside me, and I groaned. Sliding it in and out, he slowly added a second finger. Moving his fingers apart, he stretched me.

He moved his tongue back to my clit while his fingers caressed my channel, inside and out. He hit the same spot over and over until I felt the telltale rush like the last time.

Only this was different, stronger, more intense.

“Are you ready, baby?” he asked, while undoing the button on his jeans. “Do you want this? Do you want my cock?”

“I-I think so,” I moaned, my eyes closed.

I wanted him, I wanted this, but I was scared.

Crawling over me on the bed, Blade slid me up near the headboard.

I could feel him against me, his clothes completely gone.

“I need you to be sure, baby. We can stop right now if you want to.”

“I don’t want to stop. I want to feel everything.”

Blade leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. He had the taste of me on his lips. His hand slid to my mound, his fingers moved between my folds and found my clit again. The warmth spread through me again, building the pressure that I had quickly become addicted to.

“Blade, I don’t want your fingers.”

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

“You know what I want… you asked me before.”

I couldn’t say the words.

I don’t talk like that. Like he does.

“Come on, baby, say it. Tell me you want my cock,” he demanded. “Tell me you want me to fuck you.”

Shaking my head, unable to say anything, let alone what he said. I opened my mouth, but nothing escaped as he continued to pump his fingers inside me while his lips tormented my neck and collarbone.

“Tell me, baby.”

“I-I can’t, please.” I didn’t know what I would do if he denied me because I couldn’t say the words.

A moment later, he pulled away, and I whined.

“No, please don’t stop.”

“Just need to get a condom, baby.” He leaned over to the nightstand, pulling the drawer open. “I know this is your first time and I want you to enjoy every minute, but there might be a little pain. I’ll go as slow as I can.”

His hands held my focus as he rolled the condom down himself.

Oh God, I couldn’t even say it in my head.

I felt my face flame and turned away.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked. His hand grabbing my chin, dragging my eyes back to his.

“I… I can’t be what the club girls are. I haven’t…”

Closing my eyes, the words were hard to articulate with his eyes on me. “I can’t do the things they do.”

“Hey,” Blade murmured. “Eyes open, baby.”

I slowly looked up at him, mortified.

“If I wanted to be with one of them, they would be here. I won’t lie. There have been women over the years, but I haven’t been with any of the girls downstairs. I haven’t been with anyone in town either.”

“You don’t…? With anyone?” I asked, not quite believing he was innocent.

“Well, I didn’t say that. I’m a guy. We mostly only think about one thing,” he admitted with a chuckle, and I thought of him again.

I couldn’t think of him right now. I wouldn’t be able to do this if I was consumed with memories, or a future that wasn’t possible.

“But I can control it. When the mood struck, I drove out of town. I always hoped I would settle down one day, but didn’t think it was in the cards. If there was even a slight chance I might have an old lady one day, I didn’t want her to have to face women I had been with,” he explained, shrugging like what he just said wasn’t the most romantic panty dropping line there ever was.

I leaned up, taking his lips, hoping I could show him everything he made me feel. It wasn’t long before he took over the kiss, pulling me from every doubt that assailed me. Proving wrong, every intrusive thought that led me to believe he couldn’t possibly want me.

Without a word, he surged into me, and I cried out.

FUDGE NUGGET!

I knew there would be pain without him telling me, but nothing could prepare me for how it actually felt.

“Lay still, baby, give it a minute. Let your body adjust,” he cooed between kisses. His thumb moved to my clit, rubbing in slow circles, spreading heat once again, and I swiftly forgot about the pain.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment. Eyes on me, baby; I want to watch you feel every inch of my cock bringing you to the peak.”

My eyes widened at his declaration. We had only known each other for less than two weeks, and for the first half of that he did everything he could to make me hate him, but as I looked into his eyes, I could see the truth of his words.

He moved in and out slowly. His beautiful chocolate eyes watched me so intently.

Ignoring what was happening to my body, I laid there, lost in his gaze. It was like he was making love to my soul, not just my body.

“You’re perfect, Becca. You always have been,” he murmured, and I closed my eyes. “Perfect for me. Made for me,” he chanted.

I couldn’t look at him anymore. He couldn’t see what I was feeling. I knew it was wrong but, in my mind, I could see him . A vision of his face the last day I saw him merged with the man above me.

My past and present had me caught between the two. Entangled in the memories of the boy I loved and the man who had been the first to make me feel loved since I lost him .

A man I could easily fall in love with. My breath caught at that thought and my eyes opened wide at the realization that maybe this was letting go.

My eyes watered. He noticed the tear as soon as it fell, and he leaned down to kiss it away.

“It’s ok, baby. Let go, I’ve got you now.”

I shattered at once and this time, I couldn’t contain it.

“JUSTIN!” I released his name, his real name. It was a life-changing moment. I needed to hear it for myself as much as for him. I needed to remember who I was clinging to, here in this moment.

Micah was gone. He wasn’t coming back. No more living in the past with him. That wasn’t what I wanted.

I wanted a future, a husband and children. I wanted to be someone’s Grams one day.

Justin might not be the man who would make those things happen. But even if he wasn’t, it was time. Acceptance was the final stage. Giving myself to this man was the step I needed to gain that acceptance.

I heard him groan as he found his own release.

I felt his body tremble as he buried his face in my neck. We laid there still for a few moments. I blinked at the ceiling. He couldn’t see my tears; he wouldn’t understand, and I didn’t think I could explain what I just experienced. It was so much more than sex, more than orgasms.

It was letting go.

Of my grief.

Of my past.

Of my pain.

Lifting his head, he looked down at me.

“Thank you.”

He kissed me, and I felt like he poured everything he felt into that kiss.

Thank you?

Did guys say thank you when you had sex with them?

“You’re welcome,” I replied hesitantly.

Not sure what response he was expecting. He chuckled and rolled away. Climbing off the bed, he crossed into the bathroom and came back, sans condom, with a rag in his hand.

“What are you doing?” I asked when he climbed back on at the foot of the bed.

“Cleaning you up.”

“I can do that,” I clipped, closing my legs, embarrassed at him looking at me outside of the act when I could think clearly again.

He pulled my legs open.

“I want to take care of you. Will you let me?”

Biting my lip, I relented, “Ok.”

When he finished, he tossed the rag into the hamper in the corner, before he climbed back onto the bed and pulled me into his arms, holding me close to his chest.

“We have a lot to talk about, but we can do it in the morning. Go to sleep.”

Go to sleep? After saying we needed to talk? Even someone as inexperienced as me knew that wasn’t good.

Tears filled my eyes.

I wouldn’t let them fall. He may not be my forever, but he pulled me from the past and for that, I should be the one thanking him.

“Blade?” I whispered, using his club name once again.

“Yea, baby?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.

“Thank you,” I said, and I smiled as I snuggled in, ready to end this day and begin my life tomorrow.