Bonded Beyond Regret (Mated to the Monster: Season 2)

CHAPTER 3

SAMUEL

“Alpha,” Mike, who is at the gate to the pack, cuts into the paperwork I’m going through in my office, “the visitors from the Silver Howler Pack have arrived. The Alpha and Luna are in one vehicle with three adults and one child in a second one. They’re heading to the packhouse now.”

“Thank you for letting me know, Mike,” I respond, glad that I remembered to brief him on expecting more than one car without having to give details.

While I want Nyx and Aisley to feel welcome in the pack, they don’t need to feel the pressure of greeting everyone as soon-to-be pack members. When I spoke with Whitaker and we finalized plans, he said that he would be coming along with his Luna. I’m sure Nyx’s parents are the other two adults.

It makes me wonder what the story is with Aisley’s other grandparents. If Andrew was their own pup, it might have put a strain on the situation without anyone even knowing it. I’ve heard stories from some of the people who have sought refuge here and it’s not always pretty.

Sometimes people don’t realize the reverberations that their grief causes. As I run my fingers through my hair and head out of my office, I can only hope none of that tension touched Aisley. She doesn’t deserve it. Hell, Nyx wouldn’t deserve it either. She’s been dealing with more than enough with the loss of her mate and having the mate bond ripped from her soul.

Dalton meets me at the front door of the packhouse and I find myself rubbing the center of my chest. The ache that is always there makes itself known. Again.

Most days I can ignore it, even though it’s only been a year without my mate. Looking back on my life with Kathy, I’m not sure she ever loved me. I have no doubt that if a better opportunity presented itself—like in the form of an Alpha wanting to take her as a chosen mate—I would have been rejected.

It stings to know I was more than likely disposable and the best option my mate had.

When the cars stop in front of the packhouse, I step down off the porch, my eyes trained on the woman driving the second car. The man sitting next to her is clearly her father, but I barely even notice him in the periphery of my focus.

“Female is gorgeous,” my wolf growls with appreciation.

He’s not fucking wrong, but him chiming in surprises the fuck out of me. The only female he’s ever shown interest in was Kathy and that hasn’t really changed in the last year, even though he didn’t regret our actions in killing her.

My attention is pulled away from the female when the doors of the first vehicle open and close. When Whitaker walks around the SUV and wraps an arm around his mate’s waist, a pang of jealousy hits me, but I push it away. There’s no room for that shit in my life.

“Good morning, Alpha Whitaker,” I greet him before turning to his mate, “and Luna Tilly.” I nod toward Dalton and introduce him, “This is my Beta, Dalton.”

When I offer my hand, Whitaker shakes it and then Tilly. They do the same with Dalton, greeting him warmly and offering kindness. I’m glad to see it. There are far too many arrogant Alphas out there who don’t spare more than a bored glance at a Beta.

Tilly smiles brightly at me, “Please, call me Tilly. I’m not officially Luna, anyway, not until my ceremony,” there’s a teasing lilt to her voice that has Whitaker groaning.

It’s clear there’s some sort of inside joke with her statement. I don’t even want to know.

“Still my Luna, little wolf,” Whitaker’s voice is low with a hint of growl in it from his wolf. He smiles at me and reiterates, “And we’ve already established Whitaker is more than fine.”

“Of course, same goes for me,” I agree.

“Anyway, considering that Tristan is like a second, equally annoying brother to me, we’re practically family,” her voice is filled with amusement.

There’s not a hint of judgement or acknowledgement about the fact that my relationship with Serenity is strained and may never be what it should be. I appreciate it.

“It’s already gotten better with our sister,” my wolf reminds me. He’s not wrong. Being allowed to go to Blood Rising and meet my nephew gave me so much hope that we can find a way forward.

Before I can come up with something, anything, to say in response, Tilly keeps going, “I’ve heard a lot about what you’re building here, and I think it’s wonderful. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. Everyone should be able to find a home, no matter their past, and that kind of mission is one I want to support.”

“Thank you, Tilly,” my words are filled with sincerity. “It’s been a slow process, but we aren’t in a hurry. I’m just glad word is getting out that we will provide sanctuary. Too many wolves go rogue, not knowing that there is another option, but now they’re starting to come here.”

Tilly and Whitaker nod with pride and my own flares in recognition. I am damn proud of what we’re doing here.

When the doors to the second SUV open, my attention snaps in that direction. Nyx stands there for a moment, her eyes taking in what she can see of the pack. I thought she was stunning already, but seeing all of her has my heart stuttering and my wolf standing up and taking notice.

I can’t help but snarl at my wolf, “What is going on with you?”

He huffs and looks through my eyes, like he’s trying to get a better look at her, “Like you’re much better.”

He’s not fucking wrong.

Nyx has black hair that reaches just past her breasts, curling at the ends. It’s rich, luscious, and thick. Her eyes are brown with flecks of gold that catch the sun. They’re beautiful and the sadness in them speaks to the same sadness in me. Our circumstances aren’t the same, but our pain are mirror images.

An older couple gets out, the male wrapping an arm around the female’s shoulders as Nyx turns and opens up the door to the back. I know she’s letting her little girl out. I send a little prayer up to the Moon Goddess that the girl been brought down too much by the death of her father. A pup should be able to enjoy their childhood as much as possible.

“We’re here, Mommy,” her voice is sweet and filled with excitement.

Nyx smiles down at her daughter as she closes up the car and starts to lead her family toward where I’m waiting with her soon to be former Alpha and Luna. Aisley is the spitting image of her mom, and my wolf makes a purring sound in my mind that has me furrowing my eyebrows.

My wolf stands a little taller in my mind and puffs up, a reaction he’s never had before. “We will protect pup,” he vows gruffly. “Must protect little female and beautiful mama wolf.”

I ignore my wolf because I can’t deal with him right now. That doesn’t stop him from standing up in my mind and watching both females intently.

“Nyx and Aisley,” Whitaker smiles at them and then turns toward me, “this is Alpha Samuel and Beta Dalton.” He nods toward the older couple, “This is Maggie and Austin, Nyx’s parents.”

I give them all a smile. “Good morning and welcome to Waning Moon. It’s wonderful to have you here.” Nyx bites her lip and my gaze zeros in on the action. I take a moment to address Maggie and Austin. “I want you to know that you are both welcome here, at any time. Dalton will ensure you’re on the approved list. You do not need to go through your Alpha and me to get permission; consider it granted.”

The relief coming off the older couple is palatable. I’m glad I can do that for them. The small smile Nyx gives me has my heart beating harder in my chest.

“That’s great,” Aisley chirps. She turns toward her Grandparents, “That means you can visit me anytime!” When she looks up at me, her brown eyes, the ones that match her mom’s, are shining with acceptance and affection. “Thank you, Alpha Sammy. That’s really nice of you.”

Nyx, Maggie, and Austin freeze while Whitaker and Tilly try to hide their chuckles and smiles. Nyx starts to rush out, “I’m so sorry, Alpha-.”

I cut her off with a wave of my hand, “Don’t worry about it.” When I crouch down, Aisley walks right up to me without a hint of fear or worry; it wrecks part of my heart I didn’t even realize was walled off. “How about you don’t have to worry about calling me Alpha. Most of the pups don’t anymore. As long as you show me the respect I earn, when needed. Can you do that?”

Aisley sticks her hand out between us. When my much larger hand engulfs hers, she gives me a firm shake. “Deal, Sammy.” She gets a curious look on her face. “Are there a lot of pups here?”

“How about I give you and everyone else a tour of the packhouse and out back? You never know who you’ll meet along the way,” I entice her as I stand back up.

“Yes, please,” she charms me with her sweetness. She steals a little piece of my heart, more than I give to my pack members willingly, but keeps a firm hold of my hand.

As I lead her up the stairs into the packhouse, I can feel Nyx’s curious stare. As much as I want to look at her again, I force myself not to.

Something is going on, but there’s no way I can explore it. Not only is Nyx still in pain and missing her mate, but I don’t deserve to have anything more than what I have right now. Not when I killed my mate.

I don’t regret it, I never will. My one chance at happiness died along with Kathy and I have to live with the regret from what I did to Serenity for years. Penance is owed and it’ll take my entire life to pay it.

I’m completely aware of Nyx as I give the group a tour of the packhouse. I’m shocked that Aisley holds my hand the entire time. Do I soak up the sweetness she’s giving me? You better believe it.

I try to spend time with the pups, to make sure they don’t see me as some big, bad Alpha who is unapproachable. Some do better with it than others, but the way Aisley has opened up to me is different. I don’t know why, but I’m more than willing to not question it.

The moment we step out of the back of the packhouse, Aisley sees the playground that’s off to the side. How do I know? The giant gasp and squeal she lets out. Suddenly, I no longer have a miniature hand clasped in mine.

She rushes over to Nyx with her big brown eyes pleading with her mom, “Can I go and play? Please mom?”

Nyx looks over and sees the pups who are already there and playing. “I don’t know, Aisley,” her voice is gentle.

There are a few parents there already, but Dalton steps forward and clears his throat. “If you’re worried about someone watching her, I’ll go with her and keep an eye on her.”

Nyx’s shoulders relax as she gives my Beta a grateful look. “Before you run off, give your Grandparents a hug. I know they need to get going back to Silver Howler since we’re here, safe, and getting settled,” her voice is a gentle but prodding.

Fuck me, the way her strength shines through, even in the littlest of ways, is breathtaking. She probably has no idea, the pain of the last three years clouding her judgement and making it so she can’t see herself properly. But I can and I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.

“Maybe you should take your own advice,” my wolf points out. “It has only been a year for us, but how much time do you need to spend second guessing yourself?”

Yeah, I ignore my wolf completely on that one. He might have a point, but there is no way I have the capacity to deal with that right now.

I watch as Aisley gives hugs and kisses to her grandparents along with Whitaker and Tilly. The way her sweetness washes over everyone around her is a damn beautiful thing. Nyx watches with a soft smile on her face until Maggie wraps her daughter up in a hug. There are whispered words, but I don’t listen in.

Austin has been quiet as he’s taken everything in, and I’m a little surprised when he steps closer to me. His voice is pitched low, “My girls are very special.”

“They are,” I agree easily.

“When I was told about the plan for them to come here, I was torn,” he admits. “My wolf and I didn’t want our pup and grandpup to be so far away where we can’t protect them.” I open my mouth to promise him that I’ll make sure they’re safe, but he doesn’t give me the chance. “But the moment we drove off the pack lands, I felt some of Nyx’s tension fall away. It happened again when we stepped out of the car here.” He looks me straight in the eye, but it doesn’t feel like a challenge, it feels like a plea. “I think this is the right place for her and I’m going to trust my girls to you.”

Something started to give in the middle of my chest. When I glanced over at Nyx and Aisley, the feeling increased. I’m not willing to examine what it is, not even a little bit.

But I do know that I’m going to help these females find their footing again. I’m going to do my best to fan the flames of strength that I feel in Nyx, and I’ll protect the light shining from Aisley with everything I am.

I look Austin in the eyes and vow, “I will do everything in my power to make sure that their lives here are happy, and they find a place that they belong.”

The smile on his face is full of relief and when he steps away to hug his pup and grandpup, my wolf howls his approval at my words. The feeling of something coming my way is hard to ignore, but even if it’s true, the regrets and shadows of my past require so much sacrifice that there won’t be room for much else.