Bonded Beyond Regret (Mated to the Monster: Season 2)

CHAPTER 9

SAMUEL

The wind rushes through my fur as I run through the forest. Even with all the ugliness that went on in the pack, the land here has always been beautiful. Maybe it was nature’s way of reminding us to strive for more, to be more.

All I know is that it is impossible for me to imagine growing up anywhere else. The forest has always felt like a second home to me. I know, in part, that’s because of my wolf. We are creates of the Moon Goddess, tied to nature and the silver light that bathes us all and reminds us that life is constant change.

Last night was the Full Moon Run after we inducted Nyx and Aisley into the pack. Next month, as long as she’s ready, we’ll be adding Marlene to the pack. She’s still in the hospital right now and being monitored which means she couldn’t join Waning Moon officially yet.

“She is already pack,” my wolf reminds me, and I have to agree.

Marlene became pack the moment she arrived and asked for help. I am in awe at the strength and bravery of everyone who comes to our borders with the hope of sanctuary in their hearts. I’m sure there are arrogant wolves out there who can’t see the strength in it, but I can.

Leaving behind everything you’ve ever known, all because of hope for something better, isn’t something everyone could do.

Look at me. I’m still in my birth pack and trying to make it better. It’s not like I wasn’t tempted to leave, especially when things were difficult, but then what would I have left behind? I have no idea who would have stepped up into a leadership role. They could have made the environment here even worse and continued with Thomas’ reign of tyranny. The majority of the pack wouldn’t have deserved that.

And that’s why I took on becoming the Alpha.

I couldn’t abandon the good in the pack. I don’t think I could have lived with myself if I had.

“This is better. If we had left then we wouldn’t have found our females,” my wolf growls.

I don’t need to ask to know who he’s talking about. I’m not sure when he decided that Nyx and Aisley are ours, but he has and has embraced the notion fully. It’s not like I can blame him. There’s something about Nyx that draws me in, and Aisley is a breath of fresh air.

“Nyx looked like a goddess under the light of the moon last night,” my wolf rumbles. “And our pup was so cute with her flower crown. Then she was so serious when taking the vows to join the pack.”

I grunt in agreement as I remember them. Nyx was dressed in a simple dress, but it hugged her curves just right. It was difficult to look at anything other than her. The ceremony to induct her into the pack was quick, but the entire time her strength and spirit on display for everyone to bask in.

It felt right when she vowed to devote herself to the good of the pack and to follow me as the Alpha. It felt like something more and this after I’ve done quite a few inductions over the last year.

“It was more. It was our female joining with us,” my wolf is insistent, his words holding very little room to argue.

“She’s not our female,” I push back even though it feels like a lie.

He grumbles and runs even harder. I have no idea where he’s taking us, but he is certainly running with a purpose.

I almost laugh thinking of how serious Aisley looked as she also vowed to devote herself to Waning Moon. It’s not really a requirement for pups to be inducted into the pack with a ceremony, but Aisley wanted to do it. Unlike with Nyx, we didn’t use the knife to cut her hand and join it with the cut in mine. It’s part of how the packs become bound to the Alpha, but the bond is different from that between mates.

Aisley is bound to the pack through Nyx, but when the sweetest eight-year-old I’ve ever met asked to also recite the vow, I couldn’t say no. I was filled with pride, and I wasn’t alone. My wolf was practically preening as he howled his joy over her actions. Nyx was also pleased with her daughter’s commitment along with the pack members who witnessed the moment.

There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Aisley will become a force in the pack. It’s more than the kindness she shows, it’s because of the light she is so generous with. Even the grumpiest of shifters would be charmed by her.

Last night was the first time that Nyx and Aisley met my parents, Darwin and Stacy. After the induction, before some of the older wolves who weren’t going to participate in the run rounded up the pups for a sleepover in the packhouse. Over the last year it’s become a normal occurrence for the pups to miss school the day after a Moon Light Run. Before then, a pack run wasn’t something Thomas ever did, but we’re a stronger pack for it.

Nyx gave me a soft look when I approached her and Aisley. It had my heart racing because I knew I was taking a big step by introducing her personally to my parents. Not only that, but I was doing it in front of the entire pack.

But that didn’t stop me.

Even though I know I don’t deserve it, I desperately want to find out where this could go. Something inside of me craves Nyx and I already love Aisley like my own.

“I’d like to introduce you lovely ladies to a few people.” I tried to keep the nervousness out of my voice, “Is that okay?”

Nyx smiled at me and everything else vanished, including my worries and anxiety. For a second it was like we were the only two wolves in existence. Then Aisley grabbed my hand and the moment broke, but I wasn’t upset about it.

How could I be when Aisley was looking up at me with trust and curiosity in her eyes?

Nyx tensed when we approached my parents, and they turned toward us. Anyone who chose to look could see the questions written on their faces, but their smiles weren’t forced.

They never liked Kathy. Not before we were mated and not after.

“Mom, Dad,” I greeted them, and Nyx’s back went rigid. It wasn’t easy, but I hid my smile knowing full well that she was going to lay into me later, but that didn’t stop me. “I’d like you to meet our newest pack members, Nyx, and her daughter, Aisley.”

Nyx’s voice was soft, but I could still hear a little bit of a wobble, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Dad offered his hand, but before Nyx could reach out, Mom was there and hugging her like they were long lost best friends. The wide-eyed look of panic and confusion Nyx gave me was enough to make me chuckle.

That chuckle became a full-blown laugh when Aisley piped up, “Can I get in on this hug? Hugs are the best and I love them.”

Mom shot me a glance, full of knowing, and her eyes were sparkling. When she released Nyx, not even a heartbeat later, she was giving Aisley a hug. Dad was grinning from ear to ear as he watched the whole scene.

I was a little surprised and taken aback by the look of approval he gave me.

Growing up there were many times I could remember my dad not agreeing with my choices, but once I became the Alpha, he’s been one of my biggest supporters. I never realized the stress my parents were under or the pain they were in.

They loved Serenity and wanted to protect her, but that wasn’t possible because of Thomas and is greed.

I’m not the only one who was set free the night the former Alpha family was taken down; mom and dad were as well. Even though the relationship that my parents have with Serenity is strained, the same as mine, everything is now out in the open and we have the time to make things better.

Watching Aisley and Nyx charm my parents made me face some hard truths that go deeper than feeling protective over the females or wanting Nyx in my bed. My wolf was purring in happiness as he watched the scene through my eyes.

I realized in that moment that what he had been saying was true—they’re our females.

“Yes, they are,” my wolf’s agreement pulls me from my thoughts, and I realize he’s following a scent on the wind.

I know that scent. It’s soft wildflowers and sunshine and all Nyx.

“Welcome to the party,” my wolf sounds amused as he growls. “I’ve been tracking her scent for a while now. Her wolf has been calling to me,” he snarls.

My wolf’s desire slams into me and the fact that we’re stalking the woman we want with a desperation that I’m not used to experiencing is only ramping it up. I hear the sound of the she-wolf in question running ahead of us and we pick up our speed.

I have one focus—finding my female.

The light shines through the trees and causes the forest around us to look purple. It’s beautiful and one of my favorite stretches of forest. There have been many times when I’ve come out here and gotten lost. Not just in nature, but in my thoughts, and in my pain.

When I skid to a stop in a small clearing, I find Nyx’s wolf standing there like she’s been waiting for me. Her tongue lolls out of her mouth and her maw pulls into a toothy grin.

I approach her slowly, not looking away from my prey. She doesn’t move but she starts to pant as her tail wags slightly.

Her wolf is beautiful. Her fur isn’t as black as her hair, but it’s close. Her undercoat is lighter and makes it look like she’s glowing from the inside out. I know it’s a trick of the eye, but it’s also not far off.

She does glow and it’s all because of the amazing female she is.

Just as I’m about to reach her and nuzzle against her, wanting her scent on my coat, she yips and takes off running through the forest. I’m frozen in shock for a moment, but then I take off behind her. When I’m close enough, I nip at her flank which causes her steps to falter.

Nyx’s wolf recovers quickly and turns up her speed. She’s fast, but I already know that after running with her last night. Yes, it was my job to lead the Full Moon Pack Run, but I made sure Nyx was right there at my side.

I’m sure the pack is curious about what is going on between us because of it, but I don’t give a fuck. They can talk. They can speculate. They can even start rumors.

I simply don’t care.

And I care even less the longer I run at Nyx’s flank.

Then I pick up my speed and run shoulder to shoulder with this special female. I’ve found a lot of reasons to give thanks to the Moon Goddess over the last year, but I think this she-wolf is the best. I send my thanks to our Mother with every bit of my heart and soul.

When Nyx slows down, I lead her back to the clearing where I found her. It’s a special place, one that always looks like it is bathed in purple light and magic. But that’s just nature doing its best work.

We play together, rolling and wrestling, until our wolves are panting. Time slows when I pin her down and my wolf shifts too quickly for me to stop him. One moment I’m my wolf and looking down at the gorgeous she-wolf who has made my life better in such a short period of time, and the next I’m in my skin and she shifts right behind me.

“Samuel,” she breathes.

My control snaps and my lips find hers. Her taste coats my tongue and makes me ravenous. As much as I want to devour her, I keep the kiss slow, soft, and full of sweet affection. I want more, and I think she might as well, but we have time.

Before she can push me away, I shift again, but she doesn’t. Her gold flecked eyes are half massed and lazy with the desire written all over her face before they widen with panic.

Her voice is high, tight and on the edge of being a shriek, “Why did you do that?”

My wolf nuzzles against her, hoping to comfort her and sooth. It might be cowardly, but we take off. Not because her fear scares us, it doesn’t. Everything in me wants to comfort her and tell her that we have nothing to feel guilty about or fear, but I know she won’t hear me right now.

When I’m far enough away, I stalk back to the clearing, keeping myself upwind and watching her as tears stream down her face and she wraps her arms around herself. It kills me, but I know that she needs to work through this on her own and has the right to grieve her mate in whatever way she needs.

It’s not until she shifts and slowly makes her way back to her home that I head back to the packhouse and hope I haven’t ruined the possibility that is just starting to grow between us.

Even if I have, I’ll fight for her. Nyx is worth it and the way my wolf rumbles in agreement tells me that we’re in this together.