Born to Make You Smile

THIRTY-TWO

“Can I get you a tea? I have your favorite flavor, Life’s a Peach .”

Dorina’s question made me think of Gavin.

My chest tightened.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

“No, thanks.” I curled up tight into Dorina’s bed, hugging her pillow. It smelled of her lovely high-end shampoo.

I could sense her slipping in bed next to me. She put a hand on my back, rubbing me in soothing circles.

I’d spent way too much time crying on and off, moping in bed. I’d somewhat composed myself, but was still feeling completely weak and low. Ashamed of my behavior and actions. I wanted to fix everything so badly. But I was lost, unsure of where to go from here.

“How was work?” I turned to face her.

“Crazy.”

Dorina proceeded to tell me all about a lady that came into the salon wanting to get her dog’s hair cut. A Shih Tzu.

“I was like, ma’am, we’re not a dog groomer. And then, she screamed.”

“She screamed?” I repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah. I thought the café next door was going to call the cops because she was so loud. Then she was all... Charlie isn’t a dog. He’s my baby !”

“Oh my God.” I shook my head.

“I get it, you love your dog. Remember Chico, our poodle? I still cry about him sometimes. But it’s not a human baby. I tried to be calm and polite, but she yelled and threatened to blast the salon online.”

I groaned, frustrated for her. “What did you do after that?”

“Nothing,” she said with a shrug. “Her dog peed on one of our display cases, then she left. Even if we wanted to accommodate her dog, we don’t have the equipment or expertise. It’s a huge liability.”

“Damn. The dog peed, too?” I let out a small laugh. “That little shit…tzu.”

Gavin would have loved that one.

Dorina chuckled. “He did! I was so mad. But now that I think about it, maybe the lady was clearly in denial and struggling with something.”

“Maybe. Like me.” I let out a long sigh.

She pressed her lips together. “You’re going to be okay. I know it. Have you thought about, you know, talking to someone?”

“A therapist?”

She nodded.

“I know what I need to do. But I’m so scared. I’m scared to unveil things. Scared it won’t work. That I’ll sink even lower.”

A loud knock, followed by the front door being unlocked, interrupted our conversation.

“Who’s that?” Dorina said, perplexed.

Part of me hoped it was Gavin, but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. I hadn’t done anything to earn his forgiveness.

Seconds later, Vanessa appeared at the bedroom doorway. “Look who’s here!” She stepped aside and there was Joshua. He had a small set of pup ears on with a fuzzy gray vest over a white T-shirt.

My face lit up as he bounced into the bedroom. “A little birdie told me someone needed an emotional support pup?”

After saying our hellos, Joshua joined us on the bed. While tight, there was just enough space for the three of us.

“This bed is so comfy,” he said, pulling up the covers. “We should have a slumber party.”

“You guys need anything?” Vanessa asked, poking her head in. “I’m going grocery shopping.”

“Can you get more of those two-bite brownies?” Dorina asked with begging eyes.

“And ice cream?” Joshua added. “Rocky road?”

He let out a doggy whimper.

“I thought pups can’t have chocolate?” I said with a smirk, running my fingers through his fuzzy vest.

“I’m an advanced species,” Joshua defended proudly.

“Yes. Okay.” Vanessa shook her head. “You guys stay cozy. I’ll be back.”

“So what happened, Goldie? I heard you and Gavin broke it off.”

I sighed. “He had enough. Between me lying about working at the club and how I’m not ready to move out of my house. And then the tipping point, I pawned the bracelet he got me for Christmas.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Joshua exclaimed, waving his hands as if requiring clarification. “You pawned his diamond bracelet. That beautiful Christmas gift the man bought you. Jesus. You're like an addict. And that house is your heroin.”

“Joshua,” Dorina scolded through gritted teeth.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Pretty sure I need some tough love right now. I need the hard truth.”

Dorina frowned, putting a curl behind my ear. “You know I love that house with all my heart. And the memories with your mom there are irreplaceable and so important to you. But Grace, you’re drowning. We can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore.”

“I need to sell it,” I said with a wince. “Don’t I?”

I put my hands over my face. The thought of my mother’s house being turned to rubble made my entire body go numb.

“Yes,” she said gently. “But selling doesn't mean forgetting her. It means building a new life. New memories.”

“She’s right, you know,” added Joshua.

“I don’t want to lose myself. And become everything my mom warned me not to.”

“I know you want to be independent,” Dorina said. “But sometimes, no matter how self-sufficient we are, we can't do everything for ourselves.”

“My mother relied on my father. According to her, he controlled every part of her life. She couldn’t go to the hairdresser without his permission. She couldn’t even buy milk without checking in. Then one day, he decided he couldn’t handle us and took everything away, pulling the rug from under her.”

I sniffled as tears fell.

Dorina took a tissue to my cheeks. “You have to trust Gavin. I know he's much, much older. But he's nothing like your father. He would do anything for you. You just have to accept that and let him in.”

She was right. Gavin wasn't like my father at all. He wouldn't abandon me. He'd always take care of me. And I'd take care of him too.

“Honestly,” Joshua said. “You need to let that hot British dentist spoil you. Rotten. I’m talking first-class, five-star vacations. Diamonds. Head to toe.”

“Okay, okay,” I said. “I get it. How do I fix this? I miss him so much.”

“First, let us help you sell the house,” Dorina said. “And then we'll help you get Gavin back.”

The words sounded so easy.

“What if I messed everything up so bad that he never wants me back? What if I’m never enough?”

The idea of living the rest of my life without Gavin was physically painful. My chest ached so badly I had to tuck my knees against myself to ease the hurt.

“The only thing you can do is try, pollita . You can’t give up on true love.”

Joshua sighed. “Okay, kids. Let’s get our minds off this and watch a movie.”

“But please,” I said. “No romance.”

Joshua shook his head. “Fuck that. We’re watching something scary.”

“ Scream marathon?” Dorina suggested.

Joshua clapped. “Yes!”

“I’ll make the popcorn. Oh, and speaking of scream .” Dorina turned to Joshua. “Do I have a story for you…”