Breathing Without You (The Courtlynd #2)

33. Emerald

33

EMERALD

I wake up the next morning with a splitting headache. I don’t even want to open my eyes fully yet, so I close them as quickly as I opened them. What the fuck are those beeping noises? The room is spinning which I’m surprised I’m not used to by now and my mouth is so fucking dry. I hate waking up like this. What the fuck happened last night. I barely remember anything. I remember getting to the party and drinking those mixed drinks that the one guy at the table wouldn’t tell anyone what they were made of because it was a house secret, and I remember doing a bunch of shots with random people. But that’s it, I don’t remember leaving or how I got home… Wait a minute… Panic sets in. Where the fuck am I?

I slowly open my eyes again, as I think about how I got home, and I realize I’m not in my room. I open my eyes and see bright white walls with weird signs hanging on the walls. White curtains cover the windows, but the room is still so fucking bright. I look down and see white thin bedsheets, no wonder I’m so fucking cold. Where the fuck am I? What the fuck? Then I think back to the party and remember dancing with that blond guy, what was his name? Mike? Matt? I don’t remember it was something with an M, fuck what am I going to do if I wake up and I’m with him, how am I going to remember his name.

I try to stay still as I look around some more, my head is still foggy and my headache making it hard for me to focus and then it hits me… No, how the? What the fuck? How did I end up in the hospital? Where the fuck, what the fuck?

“Hey, Sugar.” Creedence walks in with two cups of coffee and what looks to be like a bag of donuts. He rushes over to me quickly. “Fuck, baby, I’m so happy you’re awake. I have so much to say to you, but I don’t want to overwhelm you but I’m so, so fucking sorry, babe.” He sets the coffee and donuts down on the table next to me. Shit, did I text him? I sit here in a panic; I look down and see I’m not in my dress anymore but in a huge hospital gown that’s practically falling off of me.

“What…what are you doing here, Creedence? Why am I…am I in the hospital?”

“Baby, relax, you’re okay, you’re safe now, Sugar. Fuck babe,” he sighs. Then looks at me, tears forming in his eyes. “I thought I fucking lost you, Emerald. You almost didn’t make it. Daisy and Brynn gave you liquid ecstasy, which is GHB, a form of date rape drug. With the amount of alcohol you had in your system you overdosed, babe,” he chokes. “If they would have gotten you here a few minutes later you wouldn’t have made it.” He wipes at his tears as he pulls me closer to him, gently pulling me onto his lap. “Babe, I can’t lose you too, please.”

“Creedence.” I barely get the words out with how dry my mouth is. Tears start to form in my eyes as I think about the past two weeks, and I lose it. I start crying, making my headache feel even worse. My body starts shaking as I try to calm myself down when his arm squeezes me tighter around the waist.

“It’s okay, Sugar, don’t cry, baby. I’m right here,” he says in a calm voice. Sugar? Baby? What the hell is going on, I’m so fucking confused right now.

“Creedence, wh…what...what happened last night with, with us?” I ask, struggling to get my words out from how dry my mouth is.

“Nothing yet and I’d like to fix that.” He stops for a second placing his hand on his face. “I don’t mean sex. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy that, but you get what I mean. Right now isn’t the time for sexual comments. What I mean is let me explain.” He gives me a tired, sad smile that breaks my heart.

“Creedence, please let’s just forget it even happened. I don’t want to be apart anymore. I’ve missed you so much,” I breathe out.

“Fuck, Sugar, I’ve missed you so fucking much babe.” He leans in and gently presses his lips to mine and shit I’ve missed the warmth of his lips against mine. “Fuck, Emerald, these fucking pouty lips of yours, gorgeous,” he growls into my mouth. Before swiping his tongue across my lips, I open my mouth meeting his tongue with mine before swirling my tongue with his. Moaning into his mouth. It’s hard not to be turned on so quickly when you have a man like Creedence Knoxx sitting underneath you, his hard length digging into your ass. “Mmm, I’ve missed this,” I moan. “Can we?” I giggle. Because why not if he does all the work?

“Emerald, fuck babe. It is so goddamn tempting to say yes to you, fuck I’d love nothing more than to bury myself deep inside you,” he grumbles against my lips. “But you need the rest, Sugar.”

“But,” I pout, it’s been way too long since I’ve had sex, and way too long since I’ve felt Creedence’s hard, pierced cock inside of me.

“Baby, please don’t do this to me,” he growls. “Fuck.” He lifts me and readjusts his length underneath me.

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ve just missed you so much.” I kiss him quickly at first then slow it down deepening the kiss. I don’t want to go fast right now, I’ve missed this. I want to kiss him and memorize the way his lips feel against mine.

“How are you feeling, Sugar? Are you hungry or thirsty? I brought your favorite donuts and coffee.” He smiles at me.

“God yes I’m so thirsty, and I’m starving,” I pout though.

“Emerald, what’s wrong, did I hurt you?” Creedence looks so worried as he looks me up and down to make sure I’m not hurt.

“No, you did nothing wrong, don’t worry. I feel so sick to my stomach, and dizzy. My head’s pounding.” Tears start to form in my eyes. The pressure from the tears only intensifies my headache.

“You know what, hold on, babe. I’m gonna go get your nurse real quick, see if she’ll bring your medicine.” He walks out the door real quick and comes back a minute later.

“She’ll be in soon.” He smiles at me as he walks in. Before the look on his face turns serious.

“Emerald, please don’t cry, baby.” He gently rubs my cheek as he stares down into my eyes. His kind smile bringing butterflies to my stomach, and it makes me feel safe. Which is a nice way to feel after what I just went through last night.

“I’m sorry I’m just feeling emotional right now for some reason,” I whisper, wiping away my tears as I do.

“Probably a combination of everything going on, babe, you’ve been through a lot. Fuck, you need to lay back down.” He slowly picks me up and gently places me down on one side of the bed and he sits down next to me. Lying back tucking one arm behind his head like a pillow and the other behind my head, his big, strong arm wraps around my shoulder and down my arm hugging me close to his warm body. God, I missed this.

“Be mine, Emerald, please?” He squeezes me tighter, not hurting me, making me feel loved.

“I’m always yours, Creedence. But what do you mean?” I chuckle against his firm chest as my head rests against it, feeling his heart drum underneath me and hearing it in my right ear.

“Be my girlfriend again, be my girl. Please. I need you to be mine.” He looks down at me, placing his hand under my chin lifting my head to look up at him. I stare into his honey brown eyes, brown messy hair, probably from sleep and stress. His beard is a little longer than the last time I saw him, but it’s a good look on him. In fact, I think it’s my favorite look on Creedence.

I feel something vibrate against my leg and realize Creedence’s phone is going off the same time he sits up to reach into his pocket and grab it.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” he answers his phone.

“Ohh yeah, that’ll be perfect.” He smiles.

“Fuck yeah. Thanks man, tell her thanks too and everyone else. We appreciate you.” His smile grows.

“Yeah, see you soon, brother man.” He hangs up.

“Carsten and Winter are coming up; they're bringing breakfast from Lisa’s Diner. So now you’ll have your favorite donuts and your favorite breakfast.” He smiles down at me and it’s so hard for me to not melt every time his eyes land on any part of my body.

“Em, we gotta talk about last night.” My stomach drops a little, I don’t really want to talk about last night, but I know I’ll have too eventually.

“What about it?” I’m truly curious about what he wants to talk about.

“Babe, you drank a lot last night. Eddie, my friend at the table serving drinks, he told me how reckless you were. I was texting him last night after I left the party and came here. He told me how crazy you were with drinking and how careless you were with accepting drinks from people.” He sighs, taking a deep breath.

“Fuck, Creed. I’m not usually so careless.” It’s true. “Usually, I’m very careful when I go to parties and about who I accept drinks from. I’ve just, you know… I was crazier tonight because of how bad the last couple of weeks were.” I let out a breath. “It doesn’t make it okay, I could’ve prevented the whole thing if I weren’t so reckless, I know,” I tell him. And then I realize something.

“How come the police didn’t get involved?” I thought they would’ve wanted to talk to me about what happened at the party and whatever else.

“I took care of them. I told them you’d talk to them when you came home, that right now you weren’t able to talk and might not be mentally ready yet after everything that happened that you might need a few days. So, they talked to Dr. Franks who agreed, and they said they’d call you to set up a time and I gave them your cell number.”

“Thank you, Creedence.” I smile at him. “I truly appreciate you; we weren’t even together, and you were still finding ways to take care of me.”

“Babe, I’ll take care of you for as long as you allow me to take care of you.” He leans down and kisses me gently before pulling away.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there last night, Emerald. I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there to stop you from taking that drink, from preventing the whole thing. For breaking your heart and even causing this whole issue.” He gives me a sad smile. “If I were there that wouldn’t have happened to you.” There it is, I knew he was going to feel that way and say that. But he has no reason to even feel this way, we weren’t together when it happened and it’s not like he knew it was going to happen.

“Creedence, you still came to my rescue, even if it wasn’t during, you still saved me afterward. By being here for me and not leaving me alone.” I smile up at him. “And you’re here for me now, Creedence and that’s enough for me.” He’s always been enough for me.

“I love you, Sugar.” He leans down cupping my chin again with one hand and kisses me softly.

“I love you so much you handsome, handsome man.” I kiss him and he pulls away quickly like something is wrong.

“Emerald, I’m so sorry for how I reacted when you gave me the helmet, I didn’t even see the engraving on it, I just saw the helmet and I panicked,” he tells me, closing his eyes in sadness.

“Carsten pointed it out, and I lost it. It means so fucking much to me that you did that.” He opens his eyes as tears start to fill them.

“It’s okay, I’m hurt, I’m not gonna lie but I can forgive you and move past it. I understand why you reacted the way you did but I’m more hurt by the fact that I felt like you threw me away, like you threw us away.” I sigh as tears start to fill my eyes again from feeling the heartache of our breakup all over again.

“You broke me, I’ve never felt so empty or alone in my life.” I start crying a little harder as he pulls me onto his lap again. I rest my head against his chest and cry.

“I felt the same way and I’m the asshole who fucking did this to us, I’m so sorry, Sugar.” He puts his fingers on my chin, lifting my face to look up at him, and his lips crash down on mine as I open my mouth inviting him in, he starts to explore my mouth, making long strokes with his tongue, devouring it like it’s been ages since he’s tasted me. I pull away from the kiss.

“It’s okay, Credence,” I say before bringing my lips back to his. Forgetting that we’re in my hospital room. It’s okay, the nurses just checked on me. They think I’m resting and said they’d be back in two hours. So, no one should be coming in before Carsten and Winter get here.

I slowly turn my body, throwing my left leg over his, straddling his body, feeling his hard length under my already wet pussy, I don’t know how my body is turned on in a moment like this, but I can’t help it, it’s been so long since feeling him this close to me, my body craves to be touched by him, it craves to feel him inside me.

“I need you,” I tell him breathlessly. “Please.”

“Show me what you need, Sugar,” he groans, and I slide the hospital gown down, leaving myself completely naked, exposing my naked breasts, and hard nipples to the hungry look in his eyes.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous.” The hungry look in his eyes grows stronger as he looks me up and down, slowly devouring me with every movement.

“Thank you,” I whisper against his lips as he brings his mouth back to mine for another hungry kiss, his lips taking their time, slowly grazing against mine. Like he’s memorizing the feel of them to remember when he’s not with me. He groans into my mouth as I start grinding against his shorts. He leans forward, sliding his wife beater up over his head, before lifting his hips, I lift myself up a little as he removes his shorts and slides down his boxer briefs. His hard, warm length resting against my entrance, one movement and he could be inside me. But I’m not ready yet. I place his cock between my folds, not at my entrance and I slide my wetness against him.

He throws his head back growling out quietly, “Fuck. Your pussy is so wet for me, Sugar.” He moans before pulling me forward, my head falling back as he begins kissing my neck. I’m desperate for him. It’s been so long, too long I’m desperate for his kisses, his hands all over my body, and to feel him make me feel full inside. I slide myself forward, reaching down and wrapping my fingers around his hard cock and hold it still while I slide down onto it, stretching me, making me whole again as he fills me with his fullness. I’ve missed this. He has no idea how much this kind of intimacy means to me.

“Fuckkk.” I moan as one of his hands finds my tits, gently tugging on my hard nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. “Goddamn, I missed the feel of your pussy,” he growls against my neck before coming in and biting down, sucking on my now sweaty skin.

I lift my body up and down, his cock thrusting in and out as I grind my hips into his hard length. I’ve missed the way his piercings feel, the way they touch my walls in all the best places and send a chill straight through my body.

He grabs onto my hips squeezing them as he thrusts up into me a little quicker, taking what he needs from me, while I take what I need from him, each other. Our bodies together becoming one. He wraps his arms around me and slowly moves me onto my back, I’ve missed the feel of his body on top of mine. The warmth, the safeness and the way he makes me feel like I’m the only thing he’ll ever need always as he looks into my eyes. His lips gently brush mine, as I moan into his mouth. The fullness of his cock being everything I’ll ever need when it comes to making love, because he is all I’ll ever want. And this closeness being everything I’ve missed in our time apart. He thrusts deeper, taking his time with my body as I wrap my legs around his waist to hold him close. There is something different about the way he’s making love to me, we’ve made love a couple times before, but this is something different. Something special about this moment we’re sharing. Like each of us is afraid this whole moment isn’t real, like if we blink or let go one of us will disappear.

“I love you, Emerald, you have no idea how much I love you, Sugar,” he whispers against my mouth as he pulls away from my kiss.

“I love you so much, Creedence,” I whisper back against his lips as I grip the back of his head and pull him close for another kiss. The way his tongue moves along mine, dancing with it like we’ve been dancing this way together our whole lives. Like we’ve always been two halves of the same whole. Searching and finding our way back to each other this whole time. Our breakup was just another obstacle in our way, challenging our love for each other to see if we're both strong enough and worth the fight.

He grabs my hands, placing them on each side of my head, intertwining our fingers together. My fingers fitting between his like they were always meant to be there. He pumps harder, taking himself deeper with each thrust, getting me closer to my release with each thrust and I cry out from the pleasure, as he hits just the right spot each time.

“Get ready to come with me, Sugar,” Creedence grunts between thrusts.

“Ohhh goddd,” I moan as I nod my head because I can’t find the words to use, just moans.

“Be my good girl, come with me, Sugar,” he moans out as he fills me with his cum, pumping into me faster and as deep as he can go.

My eyes roll back and my toes curl as my orgasm soars through me. It's so intense I don’t want it to end. I could cry from how good it feels and I’m pretty sure he feels the same way as he growls out into the crook of my neck.

“Fuck, Emerald,” he pants, slowing down his thrusts.

“Uh huh.” I can barely find my voice to get words out as my heart races so fast it feels as if it’ll rip out of my chest. I try to catch my breath as my body becomes tired, I relax my legs that I had around him so tight they’re now sore.

He lets go of my hands as he lays his head next to me. He slowly slides out of me as I feel his cum drip out with him. He stops staring down at my pussy.

“Mmm, if we weren’t about to eat food, I’d take my time eating you, Sugar. You look fucking sexy with my cum dripping out of you,” he growls.

“I have two weeks to catch up on.” He smirks. “I’m gonna take my time with making it all up to you, nothing rough until you’re feeling better.”

And I pout, “But I like when you’re rough.” I bite my bottom lip hoping to get him going again because I suddenly don’t care about my headache or the food anymore, I just care about him bending me over this bed and fucking me again.

“Creedence,” I whisper. “You are such a dirty man,” I giggle as my hands instantly go to my pounding head that has now intensified. He looks over at me, concern written all over his face.

“Are you okay, Sugar, what’s wrong?” He moves one of my hands to get a better look at me.

“My head is fucking pounding. I woke up with a bad headache from whatever she put in my drink and it’s worse now, hopefully that medicine starts working soon,” I sigh as I slide my hospital gown back on my cold, naked body. Creedence stands and quickly gets his clothes on.

“I figured you were probably nauseous from both the alcohol and whatever she gave you. Here let’s eat those donuts I brought for us and see if eating something helps your head.” Creedence grabs the still hot coffee and the bag of donuts and sits down on the bed next to me, handing over the food.

“Knock, Knock.” Carsten and Winter come walking through the door with two bags filled with food containers.

“We didn’t know what to get so we got all of Emerald’s favorites, along with yours. We already ate so all of this is for you guys.” Winter smiles setting the bags down on the little table that sits next to my bedside.

“How you feelin, Em?” Carsten sets his bag of containers down, and walks towards me.

“Like death, my head’s pounding, dizzy, nauseous, I could go on but I’d rather not.” I let out a breath. “Thank you, guys, for everything last night. For saving my life. Fuck, I can’t believe how bad last night could’ve been.” Tears start forming in my eyes as my voice starts to feel shaky.

“I could’ve died.” I cry.

“Baby, it’s okay, everything’s okay now. Please don’t cry.” Creedence wraps me in his arms, pulling me up off the bed to stand on shaky legs. But I know he’ll support my weak body; he’d never let me fall.

“I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, if you need anything please don’t hesitate to ask for it honey.” Winter adds in.

“I’ll be alright, things are just kinda coming back to me as I process last night. I was stupid and I’m sorry.” I sniffle. “I should have been more careful, less reckless.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Emerald, we understand.” Winter is the first one to say something before Carsten and Creedence both agree with her.

“Seriously, we all do stupid shit, Sugar, please don’t be sorry baby.” Creedence grabs my hand, squeezing it.

“You guys, I was reckless, careless, irresponsible, the list goes on. I almost fucking died.” I don’t understand why they’re not upset with me. Not that I want them to be upset with me, but shouldn’t they be?

“Emerald, Sugar. I’m relieved that I didn’t fucking lose you too, babe. We’re all fucking relieved we didn’t lose you. No one’s upset with you. We’re just thankful you’re okay.” He gently kisses my forehead.

“Bitch, I’d be pissed if I lost my best friend, but I’m not mad at you. Fuck, I’m just so happy you’re okay that’s all we care about.” Winter sniffles a little and my heart breaks knowing I’ve caused the people I love a pain like this.

“Seriously, Em, we’re just glad you’re okay, no one’s mad.” Carsten rubs my shoulder, sounding choked up himself.

“Here, you sit down, I’ll get you some food. You need to eat, Sugar.” Creedence walks me back over to the bed where I sit down at the edge and I slowly sit down, my body sore for some reason.

“They boxed everything up in different containers, so you guys had a decent amount of food. It was Winter’s idea. Don’t worry Stacy didn’t help.” Carsten laughs as he walks over pulling the containers out of the bag.

“Thank god.” I roll my eyes. “I haven’t missed her at all.” Not since the bullshit she pulled when she said everything to upset me in front of everyone, I still can’t believe she went that low to make herself feel better.

“You haven’t missed anything, between me being there and everything Winter has told me these past few weeks, she’s just the same old bitchy, jealous Stacy.”

“I figured nothing has changed with that bitch.” I laugh as I grab plates from the cabinet, my head starting to feel a little better from the medicine Creed gave me.

Creed gathers a lot of food on a plate for me and my mouth practically waters. It feels like it’s been days since I’ve eaten. Well, it might actually be, I paid more attention to drinking than I did eating. Then he grabs himself a plate and sits next to me on the bed.

While we eat, we talk about what happened with Daisy, the cops came by earlier and I told them I wasn’t interested in pressing charges. When I see her, I’ll have a mouthful to say. I’m sure she deserves more but I’m not an asshole like her. Plus, I just want to move on with my life and forget this shit ever happened.