Dirty Secrets (The Heights #1)

Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

RAVEN

I woke with a jerk as someone screamed, my sleepy brain finally registering that it was a sex scream and not one from a person being murdered.

“He’s such a prick,” Zavier grunted, smacking his hand on the wall. “Shut the fuck up!”

The bitch giggled and seemed to moan louder, pissing me off even more.

This was my fucking house, and I couldn’t even sleep in it without someone waking me up.

I was used to it, but that didn’t mean I liked it.

“You want to go out for breakfast since we’re awake?” Zavier offered, rolling away from me to stretch, my body instantly cold without his.

“We can’t afford to,” I reminded him, giving him a dirty look when he stayed quiet. “Where the fuck did you get money from?” Random money made me nervous because the only time the guys had that was when they’d taken dodgy jobs. Usually from Ander fucking Lavaro, Zavier’s best friend. “Is Lavaro back in town?”

“I kept some aside for a rainy day. C’mon, you want some waffles?” he grinned, climbing over me to sit on the edge of the bed, avoiding any conversation about Ander. He was still hurt about the fact Ander had left and cut contact, and as much as I felt bad, part of me hoped the prick stayed gone. “We’ll take Logan’s car since he woke us up.”

I wasn’t convinced about the money explanation. The only time any of the guys lied to me was when Ander was involved.

I physically couldn't hate anyone more than I hated that man. He’d had his fingers in every illegal cookie jar in town, and I didn’t like it when the guys spent time with him.

Zavier had always been out late with him doing fuck knows what, usually mingling with corrupt rich pricks or moving drugs. It had been ten months since Reid had been in a wheelchair due to almost dying in one of Ander’s illegal street races before they’d shut down.

Reid was seriously lucky to be walking, let alone breathing.

He’d literally died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, thanks to internal bleeding, a collapsed lung, a broken leg and ankle, with his other ankle being badly sprained, a fractured arm, and a head injury.

I’d never forget the pure fear I’d felt when Logan had sped into the driveway in Ander’s Supra, freaking out that Reid was going to die.

Ander had gone in the ambulance with Reid, and nothing had prepared me for when I’d run into that waiting room to see Ander covered in Reid’s blood.

It had been a peaceful three months since that bastard had left town, and I hoped he never came back.

While Reid had been recovering from his injuries, Logan and I had been hanging out at the Pit, which was the local hangout spot for fighting and drinking.

I was winning, but then the bitch pulled a knife on me and managed to cut me across the ribs. It wasn’t deep enough to warrant a hospital trip, but it had bled like a motherfucker.

Logan got me home so Zavier could patch it up, and Reid lost his ever loving mind over it.

If he couldn’t race on the streets, then I wasn’t allowed to fight.

Slowly, I felt like I’d somehow lost myself in that deal we’d made.

“I want a chocolate shake too since you’re splurging,” I warned, knowing it was a waste of money but we didn’t treat ourselves often. If Zavier claimed he could afford it, then I’d allow it.

“Of course. Can’t have waffles for breakfast without a shake.”

He left the room so I could get dressed, the sounds from Logan’s room getting louder as I opened the door and stepped into the hallway. At least he was in his bedroom this time.

I was tired of walking into the kitchen or living room to find one of them naked.

Especially lately, since I kept finding myself looking at them a second longer than I should’ve.

Reid was drinking juice by the sink in his boxers when I wandered into the kitchen, and since his entire body had a sheen of sweat coating it, I figured he was just having a break from the sex marathon up the hallway.

“Where are you guys going?” Reid asked as Zavier walked up behind me with Logan’s keys. He was braver than me, I wouldn’t want to step foot in that room. The air alone would taste like sex.

“Breakfast, since you assholes woke us up. I want that bitch gone before we get back,” I demanded, trying to snatch the keys from Zavier but failing. “Hey, I’m driving.”

I was a good driver, not that I’d probably ever own a car. The guys had spent lots of time teaching me though, just in case I needed to escape a bad situation and steal a car.

Zavier held them out of reach and ignored me, but Reid rolled his eyes.

“What’s your problem, Rae? It’s never bothered you before when we’ve brought girls home.”

“How would you like it if I started letting guys gangbang me right in front of you, huh? I can appreciate you actually using the bedroom this time, but shut her up. I don’t want to hear it anymore,” I scowled, his eyes narrowing.

“No one’s gangbanging you.”

“Not here, no. Maybe I’ll start hanging around the college in Ashburn Valley. Bet some of them would rail me until I passed out since rich boys seem to have a thing for girls from the wrong side of the tracks these days,” I said sweetly, leaving before he could explode. I heard him arguing with Zavier but it didn’t take long for Zavier to join me, zero sign of conflict on his face.

Sometimes, I worried that he was a little too laid back.

We silently climbed into Logan’s ‘69 burnt orange Plymouth Roadrunner, and headed towards Rawson Grove, and I wasn’t surprised when my phone buzzed with a message.

Reid: She’ll be gone before you’re home. Sorry, Rae.

Raven: Can’t you just fuck them in your cars at the track and then come home alone?

Reid: Take it from someone who has fucked in cars. It’s not comfortable.

Raven: Sounds like a you problem.

Reid: Promise not to beat me up when you get home?

I chuckled, glancing at Zavier. “Reid’s scared I’m going to beat him.”

“Make him sweat. He deserves it,” he grinned, and I laughed as I sent back a shrug emoji and pocketed my phone again.

“He’s at least promised to send the girl packing. What did you say to him?”

“That unless he wants to see the roles reversed, he’d better quit it. You’re right, you know? They wouldn’t like to see you getting railed by random guys all the time in the living room, so they need to stop parading their sex life in front of you. Besides, it’s your house. They can just get over it.”

“Can I ask you something without you getting mad?” I asked quietly, his hand blindly reaching out to rest on my thigh. Something so simple shouldn’t have made me want to jump him, but it did.

“You can ask me anything. I don’t freak out as easily as Reid and Logan.”

“It’s a sex question. Well, sort of,” I said hesitantly, and he chuckled as he stole a quick glance at me.

“I’d rather you ask me than someone else. You’re going to have sex eventually, and I’d prefer you to be prepared. Seriously, ask me anything.”

Reid would’ve shut this down fast if I’d asked him, and Logan probably would’ve made it weird then told Reid. It was still awkward to discuss with Zavier, but he was definitely the better option.

“For one, I want some kind of contraception, but I don’t know what’s best on the cheaper end of things. And two, what the fuck do I even do if I sleep with someone? Everyone my age has been fucking since they were kids, so anyone I sleep with is going to know what they’re doing and I’ll look stupid,” I pointed out, his hand moving from my thigh to take my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“I think contraception is smart. I can help you with that. Sometimes, it’s a little bit of trial and error. Some people find their bodies react better with the pill, while others prefer the IUD. The pill is obviously something you have to take daily, whereas other options can last for up to five years. Most girls I know seem to prefer the pill, but Penn has the implant, which is the small bar that gets inserted in your arm. Maybe you could ask her about it?”

At first, I’d been really bothered by Zavier’s caring side for Penelope Whitlock, but it became obvious that he only cared for her like a little sister. She lived in Rawson Grove with her four boyfriends who ran the Night Thieves compound.

Cruz Lennox and Drake Curtis stopped by our house regularly, and as much as they annoyed me at times, they weren’t too bad. Unlike Stone Barrett and Knox Carnell, who had permanent sticks wedged up their asses and put resting bitchface to shame.

“What’s cheaper?”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll get you what you want.”

“How are you going to get me prescription things legally, Zavier?” I asked flatly, knowing he wasn’t going to be legal about it in the slightest.

He just smirked, holding my hand a little tighter. “Don’t worry about it. I can get you what you want, and if it needs inserting, the Psychos can help. Jade did Penn’s.”

“I might just try the pill,” I mumbled, not wanting to risk some weird infection from a procedure in the Psychos’ shed, but not having the money for a doctor to do it. “What about the other stuff? Tell me what you like in bed.”

He almost jerked the damn car off the road, returning both hands to the wheel.

“Jesus, Raven. Warn a man. What I like in bed is probably different to someone else. People like different things.”

“Well? What do you like?” I asked curiously, turning my body to face him better. “I won’t tease you if you like a finger in the ass. It’s not your fault God put your come button in there.”

He laughed, seeming to relax. “I mean, I’ve let people do that before, but I wouldn’t recommend surprising someone with it. Guys are really sensitive about their masculinity, and a finger in the ass is pushing it for most. If you’re sleeping with someone who isn’t willing to teach you things, you shouldn’t sleep with them. Take your time, and don’t let anyone bypass foreplay, okay? It’s important to make sure you’re ready so it will hurt less.”

“What if they want me to get on top? What do I do?” I laughed it off, but inside, I was genuinely panicking. I’d seen porn plenty, thanks to living with a bunch of perverted neanderthals, but it looked hard and they changed positions a lot.

Was I supposed to do that?

“You’re overthinking it. Make it clear that it’s your first time. A decent man will look after you and guide you. I really would recommend letting them take charge the first time. Just lie back and relax. If someone makes you uncomfortable or they’re not listening to you, call me. I don’t give a shit if you’re naked and can’t find your clothes. Call me and I’ll get you out of there, okay? Any time, not just your first. You’re not just one of my best friends, you’re family, and you can come to me about anything. No judgment,” he said with a small smile, letting me think about his words for the rest of the drive until we pulled into the Squashed Melon Cafe parking lot in Rawson Grove.

We walked inside and sat in the back, ordering our waffles and shakes before striking up conversation again.

“You never told me what you like in bed,” I said randomly, and he chuckled, leaning back in his seat to watch me from across the table.

“Why do you want to know so badly?”

“Curiosity. I know Logan and Reid seem to like group stuff, but you rarely participate now. Don’t you like team activities anymore?” I joked, amusement flashing across his face.

“I just don’t do it in front of you anymore because I know it bothers you. I like a variety of things. I like it rough, but I also really like the slow, sensual shit. It’s hot.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and holding my gaze. “I really like eating pussy. Holding a girl down and making her come on my tongue? Best thing ever. I love it when they pull on my hair and beg me to stop and keep going in the same sentence.”

I swallowed, trying to ignore my pussy as it clenched at the thought.

“What if a guy wants me to go down on him?”

“If it’s your first time, you punch the prick in the teeth,” he said without the hint of a smile. “Any other time, don’t be afraid to make it sloppy. Girls panic and think it’s gross when they’re drooling down their chin and gagging on dick, but trust me, we love it.”

He made it sound so simple, and I wondered if he was the best choice to teach me. I trusted him, and maybe there was some truth to his flirting after all?

Would he sleep with me?

“Zav, would you—” I was about to ask him to, but we were interrupted as Cruz dropped into the seat beside mine, Drake sitting beside Zavier.

“This is cute. You guys on a date?” Drake teased, giving me a wink to let me know he was joking. Zavier scowled, giving him a shove.

“You know I wouldn’t touch Raven like that, asshole.”

I fought not to flinch, my question about him taking my virginity vanishing. Of course he didn’t want to sleep with me, why had I even thought he would?

Our food was delivered, and I picked at mine while the guys talked about random shit. Zavier kept glancing at me with a questioning look at my shift in mood, but I ignored him, feeling stupid for even thinking I could compare to the other girls he’d slept with.

I doubted he wanted the hassle of guiding someone in bed.

I took the time to check my phone, finding multiple messages from the guys.

Reid: She’s gone, just so you know.

Reid: Seriously, Raven? Are you really pissed? I don’t want to fight with you. I said I was sorry.

Logan: I’m sorry for traumatizing you with my sex skills. Can you come home? I don’t like you being mad at me.

Logan: Rae, please? It won’t happen again.

Logan: Where’d you guys go, anyway?

Cruz chuckled beside me, tilting his phone screen at me to show me a text as he spoke. “I take it you two are avoiding the house and that’s why you’re here?”

Logan: Hey, best buddy. You haven’t seen Zav or Rae on any of your fancy stalking monitors today, have you? They’re not answering my messages.

“They brought some skank home and woke me up last night, then I woke up to her screaming the house down again this morning. She’s gone now, apparently, but we’re letting them fret for a little while to think about their actions,” I said dryly, grateful when he replied that he hadn’t seen us before pocketing his phone again.

“It’s your house. Kick them out to fuck on the lawn or something,” he suggested, but I just shook my head.

“It’s not just my house. I wouldn’t have anything unless they’d been bringing money in and helping out. I don’t make money, Cruz. I steal what I can and rely on them for the rest.”

“Doesn’t mean they can act like animals and treat it like a bachelor pad. Bring a guy home, give them a taste of their own medicine,” he smirked. “We’ll help you find a nice boyfriend.”

“A nice boyfriend would get chased off and you know it. I need a mean one,” I snickered, my mood calming at the casual conversation. “How’s Penn? I’m surprised she’s not with you.”

I could never be besties with Penn, we wouldn’t mesh, but I still liked her.

“She’s good. She’s actually spending the day with Luna. They’re becoming really good friends, I think. Riley’s learned to stop scowling at her at least, so there’s that. I think all three of them are having breakfast at Harley’s Bar, then going shopping,” he said with a smile, and I raised an eyebrow.

“You know exactly where she is. I bet you’re tracking her. Why would she even want to go there for breakfast? Doesn’t she work there?”

“I’m not tracking her, but Stone has been ever since she left this morning. I’m surprised he even let her go, he’s been a little overbearing since he got out of the hospital. They went to Harley’s for breakfast because they’re waiting for Landon to finish work. He’s only working until nine today.”

I couldn’t really blame Stone for his paranoia. Penn had been kidnapped six months ago by someone she’d trusted, and Stone had almost died from multiple bullet wounds while saving her.

They were all still a little bit traumatized, but they were all alive, which was all that mattered.

“You’re not worried about Penn running off and falling in love with Landon?” I asked slyly, a snort of amusement leaving him.

“Landon Bates? Doubtful. I’m not insecure. Penn’s obsessed with me and I fuck her right. She’s not going anywhere,” he said confidently, his eyes widening a fraction. “Hey, why don’t you date Landon? Pretty sure he’s a virgin, so it would even the playing field in the bedroom. You can both be awkward together.”

I scrunched my nose, not liking that idea in the slightest. I’d met Landon once or twice, he was sweet, but he didn’t make my heart beat faster like when Zavier held my hand, or when Reid or Logan did simple things like say good night to me.

I wanted that raw passion that I saw other people having.

“You think she’d be a good match with Landon fucking Bates?” Zavier scoffed, shaking his head slightly. “He’s too quiet and boring for her. She needs someone who’s more confident and can take charge, but not someone who’s so insecure about their manhood that they boss her around all the time.”

“Sounds like someone we know,” Cruz muttered under his breath, and Zavier flipped him off as he reached for his shake.

“Raven’s too good for me and you know it.”

That made me frown, my eyes sliding to his. “You think that?”

Drake gave him a nudge with his elbow, whisper-yelling as if I wouldn’t hear him. “Quick, she sounds interested. Roll with it.”

“Fuck off, Drake,” Zavier hissed, and Cruz let out a sigh.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave. C’mon, bro. We’re not wanted.”

“Aw, man. Hey, do you think Raven would like Will? He needs someone to keep him busy now he’s single,” Drake asked as he got to his feet, and I didn’t hear Cruz’s response as he started dragging Drake away.

Zavier fumed silently, and when he caught me watching him, he forced his face to relax.

“Sorry. You know what they’re like.”

“I do,” I mumbled, draining what was left of my drink before standing. “Might as well head home.”

“If that’s what you want,” he said slowly, standing too. I took the keys, and I was a little surprised that he didn’t argue.

He silently followed me out to the car once he’d paid for breakfast, and I made sure to put the radio on loud enough that we couldn’t talk over the top of it.

Everyone around me seemed to just use my virginity as a conversation starter or the butt of their jokes. I was sick of it, and I was pretty sure they were only laughing because I had three smoking hot best friends who literally fucked everything other than me.

How embarrassing.

Reid

Raven seemed to be in an even worse mood when she got home. I was surprised the door didn’t fly off the fucking hinges when she stomped inside, tossing Logan’s keys on the counter on her way to her bedroom, making sure to slam the door behind her.

Zavier walked in looking confused, closing the door gently. “Don’t ask. I have no idea what her problem is now. Cruz and Drake teased her a little, but that was it.”

“You guys were with Cruz and Drake?” I asked dryly, glancing across the room at Logan as he walked in to see what all the banging was. “Your bestie lied. He was with Raven and Zavier.”

“That son of a bitch,” Logan grumbled, but he didn’t seem that bothered. “Where’s Rae?”

“In her bedroom. She got super pissed when we were leaving the cafe and hasn’t spoken to me. I didn’t do shit,” Zavier sighed. “It probably doesn’t help that she’s barely slept and started her morning in a bad mood.”

“Did something set her off this morning? We always have company over,” Logan muttered, making his way to the fridge but thinking better of it when he remembered how empty it was.

We really needed to go on a food run.

“Honestly? You need to stop shoving girls in her face. She’ll find a boyfriend eventually, nothing you say or do will scare one of them off, and you know what? All she knows is the shit she sees us do with women. Using them, making jokes about them, throwing them out when we’re done. She’s going to think that’s normal,” Zavier warned, rage surging through me at the thought.

I’d murder any man who came near her.

Was it fair to do that? No, but I’d made a promise to her fucking brother that I’d never let anyone hurt her, and that I wouldn’t touch her myself. I knew that we’d been kids when I’d made that promise, but he’d been my best friend, and I’d take my promises to him to my grave.

The worst part was that I’d been in love with her since before Josh had died. I could’ve broken that promise and just asked her out, but then I’d be breaking my promise to Logan.

That asshole wanted her too, so we’d agreed to never make her choose and just stay in the friend zone where we belonged.

Which was getting harder by the day when the sassy little whirlwind kept storming around the place just begging me to spank her.

“Raven knows that isn’t how relationships are,” Logan said before I could say something, but Zavier just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, she thinks guys just want to fuck and have commitment issues. She’s fucking miserable, and she’s lonely in a way that her friends can’t fix. At least help her find a decent guy and get over it.”

“You’d be okay with someone fucking her?” I snorted.

“It could’ve been me, but you guys didn’t like that. At least I wouldn’t have hurt or used her,” Zavier huffed, barely moving when I shoved him. “What? You think she’s going to just be that sweet kid forever? She’s not, Reid. She’s a twenty-one-year-old adult with feelings and insecurities. Maybe I should’ve just?—”

“Don’t you finish that sentence,” I warned in a low voice, scruffing the front of his shirt. “She’s too damn good for you.”

“You think I don’t know that? The thing is, I promised you I’d leave her alone when she was a teenager. I’d hoped she’d find someone who deserved her. The problem is, no one can get near her because of us. You know what?” he scowled as he grabbed my wrists and shoved my hands off him. “I’m going to help her find someone.”

“Who the fuck do you know that you think would be good for her, hmm? Ryder Donovan, the manwhore porn star, who can’t stay sober long enough to stay out of rehab? Oh! Maybe she’d like bad boy Zane Evans, the son of Satan himself,” I spat, the thought of her being intimate with anyone making me want to put my fist through Zavier’s face. “Face it, we don’t know anyone that would be good to her. Any of the guys around here would brag about it and embarrass her.”

“Date her yourself then since you’re so damn worried,” he bit out, giving Logan a dirty look. “Why are you standing out here worried about our conversation? Go check on her. You’re her best friend, right?”

Logan mirrored his glare, shaking his head. “Don't be a prick just because you’ve got blue balls. She likes her space when she’s mad.”

“You mean you like giving her space when she’s mad,” he said bitterly, turning and stalking back out the door without another word.

“What the actual fuck happened this morning?” Logan asked me slowly, and I honestly didn’t have an answer for him. Raven had been grating on my nerves for months with her mood swings, and it didn’t help when me and the guys argued on top of it.

Things had been tense ever since we’d had it out over her fighting, and I had no idea how to fix it.

“I don’t know. You go hang with Raven, I’ll go after Lopez,” I replied as I grabbed my keys. “See if you can talk to her and find out what’s bothering her. She’s more likely to talk to you than me.”

I didn’t take offense to that either. Logan had always been her best friend, I wouldn’t have even known her if I hadn’t become friends with Josh, so it wasn’t a surprise that they were closer.

She seemed to open up to Zavier a lot too, but he had that effect on people.

I headed outside and climbed into my car, driving in the direction of Ashburn Valley and finding Zavier walking along the side of the road. He barely looked at me as I pulled over in front of him and he climbed in, his voice flat. “Thanks.”

“All good. Beer?”

“Beer,” he confirmed, not questioning me in the slightest.

Guy fights were definitely easier to deal with.