Embers of Torment (Power and Passion #2)

Chapter 19

Jace

A rriving at the field for Lily's soccer game, I parked in the adjacent lot and hustled across the grass, searching for Ree. She said she'd be sitting in a red fold-up chair along the sidelines with the other parents.

I scanned the groups of people, thinking I'd heard my name.

"Jace!"

There it was again, but it wasn't Ree. The child's voice belonged to Lily, who was running toward me.

"You're here!" Lily threw herself into my arms, hers wrapping around me in a tight hug.

"I told you I'd come." Smiling, I let go of her as she pulled away.

"I know, but my dad said the same thing, and he didn't come." Lily nudged the ground with her toe, her eyes downcast.

"Well, I'm excited and can't wait to see you play. Where's your mom? I need to tell her I'm here." I bypassed Lily's comment about her father. It wasn't my place to say anything. Besides, James's behavior had become a touchy subject. According to Ree, James was dating one of the pharmacists at Knightsbridge Hospital, where he performed surgeries and checked on patients, and was increasingly neglecting Lily.

"Momma's sitting in her chair." Lily grabbed my hand and dragged me across the turf toward the far end of the marked-up and orange-coned field. "Momma brought chairs for you and Della." She suddenly halted and looked around. "Is Della coming? She's not here, and Momma said I get to meet her."

"Yes, Della will be here. She had to go somewhere else first."

"Della's coming. Della's coming," Lily sang, letting go of my hand and spinning in a circle. When she stopped, she wobbled for a few seconds, then pointed at a group of people. "There's Momma. She's talking to Becca's mom."

I spotted Ree sitting in her red chair with two vacant ones beside it. She was in an animated conversation with the short blonde woman standing next to her. A man stood behind the blonde, his eyes on the players being given a pep talk by an adult male I assumed was one of the coaches.

"Sweetie, is that man over there your coach?" I motioned to the gentleman in the jersey and ballcap, addressing the team.

"Uh-huh. That's Mr. Kennedy. He's Willow's dad."

"Why don't you join them? I'm going to sit with your mom."

"Okay." Lily sang to herself as she happily skipped away.

I approached Ree, gaining her and the woman's attention. Both halted their conversation. I hugged Ree and stepped back. "I hope I'm on time."

"You are. The game's about to start." Ree glanced behind me. "Where's Della? I thought she was coming with you."

"She'll be here in about twenty minutes. She had a dentist appointment scheduled for this morning."

"On a weekend?"

"Yeah. Della's dental hygienist takes Saturday appointments once a month. Della tries to book those days so she doesn't have to take time off work."

"That makes sense. Oh, I should introduce you. Sorry." Ree motioned toward the couple. "Jace, these are my neighbors, Millie and Jackson Hart. They live across the street from me, and their daughter Becca is on the team with Lily. This is my cousin, Jace. He recently moved back here from Colorado."

"Moved back? So you used to live in Boston?" Jackson asked.

"I did, but that was a long time ago. Which one of the players is your daughter?" I gazed across the field, doing my utmost to change the subject.

"Becca is the dark-haired one in braided pigtails. She's number ten," Jackson said, beaming with pride. "She and Lily played together last season." He put his hand on Millie's shoulder to get her attention since she'd turned away to say something to Ree. "Hey, honey. The girls are lining up to play. We must have won the coin toss because Willow's getting ready to kick the ball." Jackson spun around to me and Ree. "You'll have to excuse us. We're going to sit down. Jace, it was nice to meet you."

"Same here." I studied the couple as they walked several yards away to a pair of camping chairs. Sitting beside Ree, I scanned the field for Lily, locating her on the sideline with some of her teammates. I glanced back at Ree. "Your neighbors seem pleasant."

"Oh, they are. Millie and I hang out and gossip when we get the chance. They moved into the neighborhood about the same time as James and I." Ree stopped talking while we watched the kickoff and a subsequent scramble for the ball. Resuming, she asked, "Out of curiosity, why did you change the subject when I mentioned you moving back to Boston?"

"If I didn't, the conversation would likely have shifted to how long ago I lived here and a host of related questions. That isn't a period I'm proud of, and speaking about it makes me uncomfortable. You saw what I went through as a kid. Those aren't memories I want to share, and I've found it easier to bury them."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize the subject was difficult to bring up. We've had numerous conversations over the years."

"It's easier with you. We're family, and you were there. And you've never judged me. You're the only person I've ever felt at ease talking to about my childhood."

"I'm glad I was there when you needed me. But remember. I was also a kid back then and wasn't in your shoes. I didn't understand it all at the time and still don't on some issues, like your reluctance to discuss the subject. But I promise not to put you in that position again."

"Thanks. And I'm sorry if I sound overly sensitive and somewhat ridiculous, but those years were pretty painful."

"It's okay. You don't need to apologize." Ree watched the game for a minute, then glanced at me. "By the way, James isn't coming."

"Lily told me. So what happened?"

"His new girlfriend had other plans for him." Ree sounded frustrated as she spoke. Based on her scowl, she was also a bit peeved. "He stopped by my house this morning to inform me he couldn't make it to Lily's game. His girlfriend is hosting a birthday party and barbeque for one of her friends and needed James to help set up and do the grilling."

"James is missing the game after promising Lily he'd be here so he can play caterer? Damn, I assumed he had to work or something."

"That would be a more reasonable excuse. But, no, the asshole is skipping out on Lily for a pair of boobs."

I paused, mulling over James's commitment to his family over the years and thinking I shouldn't be making a snap judgment. "Maybe you should give James a break and keep in mind that he's always been a great father. His decision might be a momentary lapse in prioritizing what's important."

Ree scoffed and shook her head. "Hardly. He's been a wonderful dad most of the time, but not always. And a dedicated spouse, he is not. A year and a half ago, he made excuses like he is now for missing social gatherings and family outings. It turned out the reason for them was a cute nurse at the hospital, and that affair led to our divorce. He cheated on me the first time five years ago and swore it would never happen again. When it did, I told him I wouldn't put up with it, and our marriage was over. So, no, this isn't some fleeting moment of stupidity. It's an ingrained behavior."

"I'm sorry, Ree. I wasn't privy to all the details."

"Thanks, but there's no need for concern. Lily and I will get through it. Oh, and before I forget. James found my box of school memorabilia and dropped it off when he came by this morning. I haven't looked through it yet."

"Great. Now I can find out what that girl's name is and see if I can locate her. I believe she was in your fourth-grade class and part of your fifth."

"She was. She left Bertram Elementary partway through fifth grade." Ree peeked at me and shifted in her chair. "Are you sure you want to track down this girl? All those incidents happened years ago. It might be better to leave it alone. Keep it buried with the rest of the stuff from back then. After all, you did say it was easier and more comfortable that way."

"No. I need to find her. I can't forget the horrible things I did to her, and it's eaten at me for years. I saw what my stepsister went through when she got bullied. The psychological and emotional effects were devastating, especially the way she withdrew and transformed into a shell of herself. It hit me afterward that I'd done the same thing to someone else, and it's been hard to live with. I came back to Boston for redemption. I have to tell this girl to her face that I'm sorry, even if she doesn't forgive me."

"I don't want to sound silly, but you didn't need my class picture to find out the girl's name. You could have asked one of your boyhood friends what it was and Googled her. Plus, moving here was somewhat dramatic. You could have stayed in Boulder and done it with a simple visit. Besides, what makes you even think she's still in the area? She could have moved away."

"She could, but I'm betting she's still here somewhere. And I'm not about to contact one of the kids from back then and open myself up by inquiring about that girl. None of them were a real friend. They hung around me for self-serving reasons. Maybe they felt protected or empowered to be buddies with the school bully. Who knows? And, yes, you're right. I could have performed an internet search from Boulder. But there's another reason I moved here aside from finding that girl and wanting to be near you."

"And what is that?"

I stared at the soccer field and swallowed to clear the sudden dryness in my throat. "To face the past. I've run from it, hid from it, and buried it. What I've never done is confront it. That's why I've never been able to come back here, and you've always had to come visit me."

"I wondered why you were always busy with one thing or another or had some oddball excuse for not visiting. None of it was true. You didn't want to come here."

"No, I didn't. I couldn't face coming back. But it was time to change that, face it head-on, and end the stranglehold my memories seem to have on me. Maybe then I can put it behind me and move forward."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize how deep the scars were from all those years of your father's bullying." Ree hugged me, her expression pained when she pulled away. "I'll help you in any way I can. And since you're so adamant about locating that girl, I'll go through the box James dropped off when I get home."

"Thanks, Ree. You've always been my life savor. Now that I've spoiled the mood, we should switch to something more enjoyable like the game."

"You didn't spoil the mood, and I'm glad you told me." Ree turned back to the game and shrieked. She grabbed my arm and pointed to the field. "Look! The coach is putting Lily in the game." She jumped to her feet as one of the girls ran toward the sideline, and Lily ran across the field to take her place.

The game resumed with Lily playing defense. The other team passed the ball back and forth while moving it up the field toward the goal. One of Lily's teammates stole the ball and kicked it to her. Lily tried to dribble it but stumbled and hit the ground. An opposing player got the ball and passed it to a teammate. The other team scored.

"Shoot! At least Lily tried." Ree sighed as she retook her seat. "Remember how I was telling you Lily's last growth spurt made her awkward and clumsy? Well, that's one of its consequences. Lily tends to trip over her feet when she hurries."

"Hey, it's all part of growing up. I don't recall you being very graceful."

"I guess I wasn't." Ree nudged my arm and motioned toward the parking lot. "A woman is walking this way."

I turned, and the woman waved. "That's Della. I'll be back." I jogged over, met her halfway, and kissed her. "You made it. How'd your appointment go?" I held her hand as we walked toward Ree.

"As I expected. No issues. So what did I miss since I'm late?"

"Lily's team is down by two, and she's in the game right now. She's the ginger-haired girl with glasses, wearing the number four jersey."

"Cool. So Lily gets to play."

"At this age, all the kids get a turn on the field. That way, they learn about teamwork and the game's mechanics." I led Della to our seats, thrilled to have her join me. "Ree, this is Della Nash. Della, this is my cousin Ree."

"I'm glad to meet you," Della said, shaking Ree's hand.

"Me too." Ree motioned to the two empty chairs. "Go ahead and sit."

"Thanks." Della sat in the chair on the end.

Hearing a burst of excited comments from the group of parents nearest us, I swung my attention back to the game. The other team was near the goal and trying to score. Their player kicked the ball, and it bounced off the goalkeeper toward Lily. She got control of it and gave the ball a massive kick down the field to one of her teammates. After several passes and some jostling for the ball, Lily's team scored a goal.

Ree and Della had flown from their chairs, jumping and screaming during the play. When it was over, Della gave Ree an exuberant high-five, and the two did a cute little jig. Della's expression changed once she retook her seat. She peered at Ree, the space between her brows filling with deep creases.

I leaned toward Della's chair. "Hey, is everything all right?"

"Yeah. It's just… I don't know. Your cousin seems familiar, but I can't place her."

"Maybe you ran into her somewhere?"

"I guess."

We watched the game for a few more minutes, and then the girls took a break for halftime. I was chatting with Ree when I caught Della waving at someone. Turning, I spotted Lily waving back. She bounced around, wearing a massive grin as her hand frantically flapped.

I leaned toward Della. "Lily's been excited to meet you. Don't be surprised if she runs up and gives you a monster hug after the game's over."

"I won't mind. Lily's adorable." Della shifted and pulled on the hem of her bright flower-patterned blouse. "I used to wear glasses like Lily."

"Really? You don't have contacts, so what changed?"

"I couldn't stand the darn things, so I had surgery to correct my vision. I was farsighted."

I reached for Della's hand and held it, my thumb lightly caressing. "I'm sure getting rid of the glasses made it more comfortable and convenient. Plus, you no longer have to worry about breaking or misplacing them. Lily has that problem. Ree's had to replace them a few times. Not to mention, Lily gets picked on sometimes for wearing them."

"Yeah, that was another one of my issues as a kid. Having eyeglasses made me a target."

"Some kids can be jerks." I squeezed Della's hand and smiled, although deep down, I cringed. I was one of those jerky kids, picking on others because I hated the world and they were different.

The game resumed with the third quarter full of passes, collisions, and multiple blocked goals, with neither team scoring. They entered the fourth quarter with Lily on the sideline, pulled to allow one of her teammates some time on the field.

As before, Della studied Ree. It was like she was contemplating something or had a question she wanted to ask. Either way, this time, it was frequent enough to be distracting.

I leaned sideways and whispered, "Are you sure you're okay? You keep eyeing Ree."

"Umm…yeah. It's just… I still can't shake the weird feeling I've met your cousin somewhere. I swear I know her." Della peeked at Ree and shook her head. "It's driving me freaking nuts."

"Okay, I hear the whispering, and Della keeps staring at me. So what's up?" Ree laughed. "Do I have dirt on my face or something?"

"No. It's just… I know you, but I don't know how." Della scrutinized Ree, her eyebrows knitting together. "Did you grow up in Boston?"

"I did, in Newton."

"Newton?" Della glanced at me, then swung back to Ree. She scrunched an eye. "What schools did you go to?"

"I went to Bertram Elementary, Granger Middle, and Newton North High School. Do you think we may have met somewhere along the line?"

"I'm not sure." Della's brow furrowed as she stared at the grass. Then her eyes widened, and she swiveled in her chair toward Ree. "Ree isn't your real name, is it?"

"No, it's not." Ree chuckled and shot a glance my way. "Jace gave me that nickname when we were little kids, and it stuck. My first name is actually Rielle, and my maiden name is—"

"Milford," Della gasped. "No way. I went to school with you and your cousin, Jace…" Della sucked in a breath, her face turning pale. "Jace Lyons."

"Della?" I stared at her, seeing the tears filling her eyes as my thoughts ping-ponged all over the place. How does she know us? Why don't I remember her? Why is she upset? What the fuck is going on?

"It's you," Della said, her voice quivering.

"Della, I don't understand. Please explain because I'm completely lost." Shattered by Della's crumbling composure, I reached for her, only to have her shrink from my grasp.

"You don't remember me, do you?" Tears lined Della's cheeks. "The chubby little girl in the gray plastic eyeglasses with the bad lisp, the one you called Crustella. The girl you picked on mercilessly and got the other students to do it with you." Della sobbed, her breath shaky as she said, "I had to leave school because of you."

"Oh, fuck," I breathed. My whole world was crashing in on me at once. I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was stare. It was inconceivable that the person I came to Boston to find could be Della. My mind circled and circled, but I couldn't comprehend the thought.

Della bolted from her chair, spurring me into action. I caught up to her and grabbed her arm. She spun around and fiercely shook herself free. I held my breath at the sight of her red face and distorted expression, her cheeks and eyes swollen.

"Don't touch me. Don't come near me," Della ground out, her eyes dark pools of hatred.

"Della, please," I begged. "Let me explain. I came to Boston—"

"Shut it! I hate you. You need to crawl in a hole and die."

"Della." I reached for her again, and she slapped my hand away.

"No! You tried to ruin my life. I hope you drown in the same misery you caused me. Stay away from me, Jace Welch, Lyons, or whatever the frick your name is. Leave me alone."

Della turned and ran. I took a step to chase her, only to be pulled backward by my belt. Upset and confused, I swiveled, finding Ree standing there looking devastated.

"Not now." Ree shook her head. "You have to give Della some space. This is… Hell, I don't even know what this is."

"But I need—"

"No. You'll lose Della permanently if you force yourself on her right now. Lily's game just finished. Come back to the house with me. We'll browse my class pictures and figure out what to do."

I stared at Ree and nodded, so full of heartache and confusion that I couldn't speak.

All I knew was I didn't want to lose Della and would do whatever was necessary to fix it.