Everything I Wish For (Lupine Valley #5)

4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Lauren

It’s been an entire twenty-four hours since Brad’s text about our fake relationship being the best decision I’ve ever made.

I’ve been obsessing over each text, each word. And the fact that he kissed me in my kitchen, and how much I want it to happen again.

This time feels different. He never brought up our kiss at The Bar. We swept it under the rug and it’s just an unspoken thing that happened. He got distant after, left me feeling like he sucker punched me when he ignored me and came back like nothing ever happened.

Of course I sent his text to the group chat and all the girls agreed with each other and pointed out that they still think they are right and that he has feelings for me. Which is how I ended up here, scrutinizing each word and action over the last few months.

I’m in the kitchen pulling out plates when my side door opens. “Honey, I’m home.” I hear Brad singsong.

He comes into the kitchen carrying two bags from The Bar.

“Tell me you got me Mack’s alfredo.” I practically drool at the scent coming out of the bags. Willow texted me earlier to let me know that Mack was making my favorite as a special today and I was hoping Brad would grab it for dinner.

“Please, you act like I don’t know you.” He pulls out two containers of alfredo, an order of garlic bread, and a large salad.

I lick my lips. “You are the best—” I look at him and his eyes widen at how close I am, “—friend there is.” I add taking a step back. I can’t handle another kiss yet, no matter how much I want to.

His strong arm loops around my waist pulling me back in. “Oh no, babe, I’m the best boyfriend there is.” He winks and lets me go, smacking my ass on the way, but not before he causes my heart to beat out of my chest.

How did I get myself into this mess? He’s taking it so seriously and it’s everything I’ve ever wished for from him. But, I’m hesitant to play along because I know when this is over, my heart is going to be crushed.

“Come on, let’s eat.” He brings the food over to my kitchen table. “Then you can tell me all about how I won you over finally.”

We take our usual seats at my table. The transition from our friendship to relationship would be seamless. We spend so much time together and have grown so close in the last few years since our friends started coupling off, by default we always end up being the third wheels.

He even keeps clothes at my house, and I do at his because we usually end up crashing when we hang out. Everyone thinks we’re dating and outside of the girls, no one knows how much I wish that every day Brad would feel the same. I keep up a good front of being his devoted bestie.

“I think it was just a natural thing. We’re together all the time, that’s pretty believable.” I shrug.

I dig into my meal and moan once the flavor hits my tongue. Mack’s cooking has saved my ass many nights that I’ve been too busy with showing houses, or too lonely to cook for one.

I swear I hear Brad mutter under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He takes a bite of his food deflecting from answering. “So what? One day we just woke up and were like, let’s try this? No. No way, that’s way too simple. I think one day you woke up and realized how absolutely marvelous I am, and that you’re so deeply in love with me you couldn’t stand to not be mine one more day.” He smiles slyly.

I choke on my food. If only he knew how close to the truth that actually is. It might be years that I’ve loved him, but I fell in love with him gradually, it wasn’t a sudden instant love.

I’ve watched him date others over the years, and they all ended right around the same timeframe, just a few months in. It seems like things are going well, and then nothing. He just breaks up with them, seemingly with no rhyme or reason. It’s the thing that has kept me from taking my chance and really pushing the envelope of our friendship. There’s a secret that he’s keeping from me about why his relationships don’t last, but I’m terrified we’d suffer the same fate, and I don’t want that.

“You okay? It’s not that unbelievable.” A frown takes over the smile on his face.

“No… I mean yes… I mean, I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.” I try to recover by taking a large gulp of the white wine I poured before he got here. “Okay, if I woke up and realized how in love with you I am, what did you do to make me fall for you?”

“Well for starters, I know you better than even your own mom and Lace. So I started slowly. Bringing you your favorite things, doing small things when you’re busy to make your life easier, watching your favorite movies. I’d stop by and bring your favorite coffee every morning after my shift, or drop by one of your open houses with your favorite candy to help pass the time.” Just like he does already.

“You don’t know me better than my mom,” I counter. I might give him Lacey, but definitely not Mom.

“Bullshit, I don’t.” He puffs out his chest, “Quiz me.”

“Okay, what’s my coffee order?” I ask starting simple.

“Please. You insult me. You only drink iced coffee. Your favorite is a white mocha iced from the diner. But you always like iced coffee at home, and keep a back up of each of the syrups you like in the pantry. You only like your coffee out of one cup from your house, the pink sparkly tumbler that Lacey got you for Christmas two years ago. But at Christmas time, you can’t help but indulge in a peppermint white mocha iced, but the peppermint is not acceptable any other time of year.” He crosses his arms across his chest.

“Wow, okay. Am I that predictable?” My eyebrows furrow.

“No, babe, you’re not. I’ve just been studying you for years. Hit me again.”

“Okay, perfect date?” I ask, curious as to what he’s going to say.

“Your perfect date would be in the fall with a picnic by the lake to see the foliage spreading across the mountains. You’d want pizza, or any pasta dish from Mack, and apple cider donuts for dessert. Then you’d want to lay out and watch the sunset, but you’d need them to bring you at least two blankets because you don’t like to be cold. Oh, and sauvignon blanc. Specifically from the winery in Sugar Hill,” he says pointing to my glass to prove his point.

That was actually more perfect and thought out than my own answer. Right down to knowing my favorite wine. He should know that one though. I’ve dragged him to the winery more times than I can count.

“What made you finally ask me out and push the boundary of our friendship?”

“Easy. You’re my best friend, we’ve been through a lot together and you get me. Even when I feel like no one else does.”

I’m stunned momentarily into silence, and don’t want to delve into how quickly he came up with that answer.

“Okay, and why did I fall for you over someone else?” This is a trick question. No one else has ever compared to Brad. Not even Damon. He’s always been the dream. But when he moved away for a job with the State Troopers, I met Damon, and just to make my misery worse, he moved back right before Damon left. So I had no fiancé, and no chance with the guy I really wanted one with.

He reaches out to take my hand. “Because, no one else compares to me. I know you wholly. The good and the bad. And I’m still here thinking you hung the moon.”

Fuck, I wish this was real. He’s a really freaking good actor. I need to get on his level. Anyone on the outside would have no idea he’s pretending for me. Meanwhile, my nerves are wreaking havoc on my body.

“Okay since you clearly know me so well, let’s just go with the story that you planned that perfect date for me, we went, and everything just clicked for us.” I try to tame my heart inwardly, it feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest.

He winks at me in response, “Of course it did, we’re perfect for each other. One more thing, the flight can’t be the first time we’re seen together as a couple. We need to start actually dating. In public. In Lupine Valley. And we need to practice being affectionate. I’m a PDA kind of guy. I’m going to grab your hand, keep you close, kiss you. You’re mine and I want everyone to know. You can’t stiffen like you did the other day. People won’t believe it.”

He goes right back to eating like he isn’t setting my world on fire. Unfortunately, trying to protect my heart and make it through until the wedding might be the hardest thing I’ve done to date.

“I think we can do that.” I just might not survive it.

“Excellent, go put on The Proposal. We have a lot to learn.” He gets up, grabs our plates and hesitates before kissing the top of my head. The butterflies are swarming in my belly. Again, I have to ask myself, for the hundredth time tonight, what have I done?

I head into the living room while Brad is cleaning up our dinner, and I get the movie ready to go, push my ottoman into my large sectional, and pull out a couple of blankets. I walk over and turn on my Christmas tree, it’s not decorated yet, but it’s up with the lights on so I’m turning it on.

I climb into the corner and get comfy on my couch. Spending a small fortune on this couch was totally worth it. Especially when a man Brad’s size is sitting with me.

Brad stops in front of me. “Excuse me, if you remember we’re practicing being affectionate. That means you’re the little spoon. Scooch over, beautiful.” He leans his body over mine and flops into the corner of the couch, flipping me around and tucking me in next to his body.

It’s not the first time we’ve snuggled, I’ve fallen asleep on his shoulder, or him with his head in my lap. But this is the first time he’s holding me like this.

I try to ignore his cedar smell, and the way his body fits around mine like a glove. I try to ignore the small circles he’s rubbing on the palm of my hand with his thumb.

And I really try to ignore the way he keeps placing small kisses into my neck.

My heart is done for, I don’t know if I can protect it anymore.