Finding Me in the Storm (Sweet Christmas Kisses)

Chapter Sixteen

Nate

“You willing to help me find a Christmas tree today?” I ask as I watch Elaina clear breakfast dishes from the table.

“You do know that it is not quite Christmas yet, right?” she questions.

“I love to decorate before everyone comes out for the holidays. Besides, don’t judge me, but Christmas is my favorite holiday, and I might go a bit overboard.”

“The things I learn hanging out here with you,” Elaina replies to me with a twinkle in her eye. “Now, are you an obnoxious Christmas person with the singing, blinking lights, and decorations in every nook of the house? Or a more reserved version of that, who just tries to make it a great memory for his family.”

“Somewhere in the middle. I get really excited and love all the amazing sights, smells, and traditions. As you know, Luna is over the top in decorations and finding just the right gift for everyone. I mean, the woman searches all year and has made it a part of her identity to find those little things—or sometimes make them—that someone will cherish forever. Of course, like a child’s oven, we do sometimes prank each other as well. I just love that we can break away from our normal routines to spend time together—Christmas is something I look forward to all year.”

“Well, then I’m all in,” Elaina tells me. “I like the holiday season, but man, it can bring out the crazy at the hospital. I think the stress of never knowing what I’m walking into there has been one of the biggest factors to me becoming lukewarm on this time of year,” she confesses. “Besides, my parents tend to lean into the commercialization of the holidays. Probably the reason they tended not to celebrate as big as many of my friend’s families. Don’t get me wrong, the time they would take from their jobs and truly spend with me was a big enough gift in my eyes for why I love Christmas.”

“Maybe they can join us up here,” I find the words falling out of my mouth, like Elaina and I are a couple.

She turns to stare at me with huge eyes as the elephant in the room roars to life. This is not exactly a traditional relationship, nor one that will withstand holiday gatherings together. She and Luna will remain friends, and maybe I will get slivers of her time around the visits they prepare. All the long looks, near kisses, and hand holding are just a mirage of a time we found ourselves cooped up together—right?

“My parents don’t really travel during this time of the year,” she says with a hoarse cough. “They don’t like the airport congestion or large crowds. Besides, I don’t know that the big happy family thing would be a good idea.”

“Elaina,” I reply in a whisper, but she rises suddenly before I can say more.

“Give me less than ten minutes, and I’ll be back,” she says and exits the room like she is escaping a fire.

I run a hand through my hair as I know the time we have together is coming to a close. I’m not sure how to broach what my heart wants to say or even if I have a right to complicate her life with that extra weight. She is fast becoming someone I want around so much more than this little gap in time away from our regular lives. I’m just so worried that by telling her my feelings, I might ruin her long-standing relationship with my sister if she is not willing to take such a profound leap with me.

“You know I have been thinking,” Elaina says as she comes out a few minutes later. “You really need to add another bathroom to this place if you are going to entertain many guests. That space between the two bedrooms is a closet; you think you could do a bathroom there?”

“I could. One bathroom is not enough. I thought that was pretty good for a vacation rental out in the boondocks?” I ask, as I furrow a brow at her.

“Let’s guess you are that pretty,” she waves a hand in front of me with a cheeky grin, “with a five-minute shower, and you just let your hair breath in the open air?”

“Yes,” I tell her as I cock my head to the right.

She shakes her head looking unhappy with that response.

“Well, I have to wait for you to be ready, then I need time in the bathroom, and I’ve not been able to do a full self-care routine since I have been here,” she tells me.

“I’m sorry—a full self-care routine,” I start to ask questions and worry that there might be too much information to share.

“It’s when I can do a full hair routine including mask, blowout, and the like. Also, I do a face mask, scrub, and other things to help my skin feel like a baby’s behind. Since being here, I’m doing the bare necessities to not hold us up each day—but would give a month’s salary to do a full spa day.”

“Is a baby behind what you truly need your face to feel like?” I question, finding this conversation more interesting than I probably should.

In all the times that Mom, Luna, and a handful of friends have used the cabin—not a single word about major home repairs. I’m grateful that Elaina is feeling this comfortable, but I do worry that maybe this isn’t the vacation home that I’ve been believing it to be over the years. I search my mind for any other “suggestions” over the years.

“I’m just saying that despite your background in modeling—you seem woefully underprepared to host a woman or two here. Has your mother or Luna mentioned this to you? I mean Luna can make my hair routine look like a walk in the park.”

I think back to the last visit and let a chuckle out. “They made me treat them to two spa days last time they were here. At the time, I just thought they loved those accommodations up at the lodge, but now I’m beginning to wonder if their days of pampering were not to replace a full self-care routine, such as what you are talking about,” I mutter as I consider that.

“Oh, wait a moment,” Elaina says as this little expression sparks in her eyes. “I could go for a spa day. I had no idea that was an option. I saw the sign, but I guess I hadn’t really thought much about what amenities might be included. I would bet that is why they don’t complain.”

“I can see that,” I say. “The spa is an option if you would like. Just out of curiosity, were you to spend more time up here for vacations—what else would you fix?”

“Kitchen counter space, more comfortable living room furniture, and an outside deck set up like the one up at the resort with the heaters. Maybe a hot tub out there so you could be in the warmth, but looking out over at ridiculously amazing scenery,” Elaina lists items off without missing a beat.

“You haven’t thought about that at all, I see,” I retort, as I notice a becoming blush stain her cheeks. “So, the question is, do you hate this space—or have you been imagining your next stay here and just daydreaming about improvements?”

Our eyes hold as I feel an invisible string pull me closer. My eyes drop to her lips as the need to kiss that sweet face and make her blush even more overtakes my common sense.

Suddenly, Elaina pushes past me with a slight eye roll. “I thought we were doing Christmas tree shopping today?”

“I said nothing about shopping,” I tell her as she pivots back to my face.

“Oh no, is this another outdoor adventure?”

“Chicken?” I ask, arching a brow in her direction.

“Not at all,” she tells me. “Bring it on,” she finishes as I notice her slip into the boots she now keeps at the ready at the front door.

We get ready and start a hike toward the tree line. I’ve even got permission to cull a tree this year. Any time spent with Elaina is fabulous, in my opinion, but this is just an extra special treat. I can’t remember the last time anyone helped me pick something as pivotal as my Christmas tree for my home. I’m willing to admit I’m falling hard for this woman, and I might be hoping for a holiday miracle that makes it possible for us to find a path forward in a relationship of more tenure than our current friendship. Time will reveal if this is meant to be, but my heart is already telling me what ending it’s hoping for.