Grumpy Doctor’s Holiday Twins (Forbidden Doctors #17)

19. Melody

19

MELODY

J ohn helped me get Noel and Holly into their car seats in his big SUV while Dad strapped in the front seat, but the minute that door was shut, he turned on me like a rabid dog. The scowling and huffing had been irritating, but this glare on his face was over the top. I figured he'd seen the kiss, and the anger that Ethan feared John might have if we confessed a relationship was what he was showing now.

"What's going on, Mel?" he asked me, and I backed up a step. In order for me to get home, I had to get in that door to ride next to Noel. John was blocking my path in an obvious show of frustration and dominance.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I told him, reaching for the handle, but he stepped in my path with arms crossed over his chest. So this was how he'd confront me about my seeing Ethan? I was annoyed at how immature he was being. "Ethan could very well have helped us with the twins, you know."

My body was still flustered from that kiss that could very well have been a goodbye forever, and John seemed to think it was the end of the world.

"I don't mean with Ethan wanting to help you with getting the kids in the car." He looked around and stepped closer to me. The storm in his eyes raged on as he lowered his voice and said, "I mean with Ethan and you. He's their father, isn't he? Admit it."

My blood instantly ran cold, like the ice beneath my feet. How John had managed to figure it out, I didn't know, but I couldn't exactly come out and tell the truth. It could go so many ways, but all of them would be bad. If he thought Ethan ran out on me or rejected me, there would be a blow up. If he knew I kept things from Ethan, there would be a different but no-less-dangerous blow up. And if he was angry enough with me, it would damage our relationship.

"John, now isn't the time or place to discuss private matters." I reached for the door handle, and he put his hand in front of mine, pinning the door shut.

"So, it's true?" he hissed, and I scowled at him with pursed lips.

"I said nothing of the sort. Just take me home." It was a standoff between siblings, but I knew he'd win. He was much bigger than me and stronger. I had no way of physically forcing him to do anything, but the front passenger window opened and Dad leaned out.

"You kids coming? The twins are fussing."

The lightning bolts in John's eyes didn't dissipate as he opened the door for me and I climbed in. But my chest did calm down a little while he drove. It didn't appear to me that he'd say anything in front of Dad, probably for the simple fact that Dad would just try to calm us down and talk rationally, the way a good father would. John wanted to be mad and let his hurt feelings out, but he had to understand that I was in an impossible situation.

Not only that, but it was also none of his business. And if he stuck his nose in now, it would ruin things for Ethan. I just asked him if he'd consider staying and he was adamant that he was going. I didn't want to stand in his way today any more than I had years ago. I wasn't going to let John ruin that for him, either.

At home, John said nothing when we unloaded the twins and their car seats. Dad had Holly on his lap while I carried the diaper bag and a very fussy Noel. John didn't even walk us up to the apartment, for which I was glad. I had enough on my mind without worrying about how much he knew or what he'd tell Ethan. For now, I had things to think about, things I had put behind me and hoped I never had to deal with again.

Inside, I drew a bath for the twins and put them in it, but when I sank to my knees next to the tub, I felt heavy. They wanted to play, but I wanted to curl up and think about life and the choices I'd made. I felt hollow and sad, yet satisfied at the same time.

My babies were everything to me. With them in my life, I was busy and happy just taking care of them. I didn’t have time to worry about a relationship with being a mother and having a career. But somehow, being reunited with Ethan had rekindled a hope that someday, I'd have a person in my life to share it with, something as meaningful and intimate as I deserved.

The kids were playing with bubbles and their rubber ducks when Dad's wheelchair rolled through the bathroom doorway. I looked up at him and didn't bother masking my sadness.

"Are you okay, kiddo? You and John seemed to be upset about something." Dad folded his hands in his lap and waited, and I knew there was no getting out of this conversation. He only wanted to help, and I needed a sounding board.

"You know… No, I'm not really okay." My head drooped, and I was grateful the kids were entertaining themselves and splashing. I didn't have to worry about chasing them as the emotions welled up.

"Talk to me," Dad said, and he locked the wheels on his chair in place.

I didn’t know where to begin or what to tell him, so I started at the beginning. "Well, first of all, I lied to you." I looked up at his eyes, and all I saw were understanding and compassion. "I do know who the father of my twins is. I knew immediately. I was seeing Ethan Sinclair, and he wanted to keep it hush-hush. He figured John would be angry."

"I see…" Dad said, but the look on his face was knowing, not surprise. "And he's their father."

"You knew?" I asked, shocked. I had kept that secret so well. There was no way he figured it out.

"Only when Ethan came for dinner on Thanksgiving. I saw the resemblance, though he didn't seem to know."

Shame painted my cheeks, and I dropped my head again and told Dad all about how Ethan was leaving and how children would only tie him down. Dad seemed to think my heart was in the right place and tried to comfort me, but tears flowed anyway.

"And now I think John has it figured out too and he's upset. I don't know if he's angry with me for not saying anything to him or angry with Ethan for deserting me—which wasn't his fault. Or maybe he's just surprised too." I shrugged and took some toilet paper from the roll and blew my nose.

"Well, honey, you have a big decision to make. You can't expect John to have the same feelings about this secret that you do. If he respects you, he'll let you handle it, but it seems like he's wanting you to do the right thing." Dad's words pricked my heart.

"But I did the right thing. Ethan loves his job overseas. I can't take that from him. I can't expect him to stay here just because I have his children. And I won't share them. I will never send them on a plane across the world to be with him." Vehement outrage began to swirl in my chest, but when I saw the look in Dad's eyes, I felt convicted.

He unlocked his wheelchair and sighed. "All I know is, if I had a child somewhere that I never knew about, I'd really want to get to know them, regardless of whether I could be a part of their daily life." He slowly backed away, but as he turned, he said, "You have to let Ethan make his own choice, Melody. He may still choose to leave, but it will be his choice, not yours."

The empty spot where Dad just sat felt like a ghost taunting me. I didn't want to put this choice on Ethan. How could he choose between his children and his job? And what if he still chose the job? How would I feel? How would my babies feel?

I turned back to them and cried. John should have just kept his mouth shut. This can of worms never needed to be opened. Everyone would have been much happier with the secret.