Lost In The Dark (‘Lost’ #1)

CHAPTER 18

ASHER

“I don’t care how you do it. Just do it,” I barked, feeling at the end of my tether with the meeting I had been stuck in for almost two hours with my legal department.

“It will mean we make losses, sir. I want to be sure you understand that?” The snivelly little bastard my father had happily had as the head of legal for over a decade told me. Fuck, I really needed to make some personnel changes!

“I’m fully aware of that. As I’ve spent the last two hours outlining, the business is changing, and it will mean some losses in the beginning, but ultimately we will profit and the businesses we intercede will remain functioning,” I explained through clenched teeth. I was trying hard to maintain my patience, but it was getting harder with every minute that passed.

“But that’s not how things are done,” he argued. I’d had enough. I rose to my full height and slammed my hands down on the conference room table, startling several of the people sat around it.

“It is now. If you have a problem, I suggest you start job hunting. I own this company. Me and my brother. There is no board to appease, no shareholders. I make the decisions and I will not be questioned. Either get on board or hand me your resignation!”

There were a few nods and I heard a feeble ‘Yes, sir,’ then they were filing out of the room nervously. For once the tyrannical way my father owned his business had worked in my favor. He had made sure his word was law when it came to Lyle , and now it was my word that was law. It was going to make changing the business - from a company eating monster, that took failing businesses and tore them apart for profit, into a compassionate, consulting partner - so much easier. My plan would mean we would begin to work with the failing companies, becoming a partner in them, helping them get back on their feet and profiting from their success, not their failure. I could not and would not ever be the tyrant my father had been. I wanted to keep the business successful, but I had to change the way things ran. Maybe then I would be able to look at myself in the mirror again, without seeing a monster looking back.

“Asher!” I heard Eli’s frantic cry through the glass and I stood and instantly sped from the conference room, moving towards him. He was rushing towards me, his face a mask of terror.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I got out into the area between our offices and headed right for him. I knew my brother was strong and smart, but it didn’t stop me from feeling the fierce protectiveness I had always felt since the day our mom brought him home and placed him into my arms. I had always tried to look out for him and that would never stop. He had a tendency to be too sensitive and trusting, and I always feared it would get him hurt one day. Now I worried for Addy too, in just the same way. They needed me and that felt good. I needed them both to need me. Without them, Adam, and Jordan, I just wasn’t sure what my purpose would be any more.

“You bitch!” Eli seethed as he stopped at Zara’s desk outside my office. “You haven’t even told him, have you?” She reared back, like she feared Eli, which was ridiculous. She knew him well enough to know he would never hurt anyone.

“He was in a meeting. I was going to tell him in a moment. I’m sure it’s not that urgent. You’re all being dramatic,” Zara sighed with a wave of her hand.

“Told me what? What’s going on?” I asked as I got to Eli and placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

“We have to go! It’s Addy. She’s in the hospital. Jordan said it’s bad,” Eli gasped breathlessly. “He called Zara and told her to tell you urgently. Thank fuck he called me too.”

“Asher, I’m sure that girl is just being dramatic. You have a meeting in…”

“Let’s go!” I said as I ignored whatever Zara had to say and set off running. I didn’t have a second to stop and hear whatever Zara was going to spout next. She’d already made it clear she had an issue with Addy for some reason, which made no damned sense. She had barely even met her.

“What happened?” I asked as we walked straight into the elevator and Eli slammed the button for the parking garage. I felt as anxious as he looked. Addy had come to mean so very much to me in the two weeks we had known her. Despite everything she was suffering, her goodness and kindness shone through. She was brave and tried so hard to be strong. I admired that in her. She was my kid sister. I knew that. I felt the sibling bond between Addy, Eli, and I, to the point I hadn’t even ended up going ahead with DNA tests. There was no point. I knew she was my blood, just as Eli did. More than anything I wanted to protect her, just as I tried to protect all of my family. The idea of her hurt or ill was terrifying. I wasn’t even going to allow myself to think of the prospect of losing her. I couldn’t.

“Jordan took her to Central Park. He said she just blacked out. They were scared her heart was going to stop. Doctors rushed her off. He was asking if we knew about her medical history.”

“Kane got the records as part of the research he did on her, but I don’t think there was anything serious,” I replied as I pulled out my cell and searched for the email Kane had sent me. I had read through them several times already, so I was almost positive there had been no underlying health conditions. That would have been something I remembered. “Kane’s sure it wasn’t an attack?”

“I don’t know. We only spoke briefly. I just wanted to grab you and get to her.” I looked up and saw how scared he was. He loved Addy. I knew it would break him if we lost her. Fuck, who was I kidding? It would break both of us . “She’ll be okay, won’t she, Ash?” he asked me shakily.

“Yes,” I nodded firmly. “We’ll make sure of it. We’ll get her the best care; whatever it is we’re dealing with.”

“I can’t lose her now. We only just found her.”

“I know. We won’t. She’s going to come through this just like she has everything else life has thrown at her. She’s tough,” I reassured him, and myself. She had survived so much. She would come through this too. She had become a part of my life, my family, and of me. She was my sister – our sister – and we were not going to allow anything else to happen to her.

***

Ten minutes later we were hurrying from the back of the car. Eli had ridden my driver the whole way, telling him he had to go faster and resulting in us doing a twenty minute journey in less than ten.

“Don’t wait for us. We’ll call when we need a car home,” I called to the driver as I pulled Eli out and then slammed the door closed. We were in the hospital and racing for the ER before the car had even set off again.

I grabbed Eli when he tried to go the wrong way and pulled him close to me. I was conscious of the fact we had left our security back at the office, and I refused to allow anyone to grab Eli in the chaos.

“Stay close to me,” I told him as I read the signs, then headed for the ER.

“It’s Addy we need to be worrying about right now,” he told me with a glare, as he kept up with me.

“Until we have security again, I think I’ll worry about both of you.”

As soon as we walked into the hectic emergency department I saw one of my security guys near the entrance. Kane had obviously posted him there, since he was definitely keeping an eye on the mass of people around him.

“Where are they?” I called over the noise, the moment he saw me.

He directed us to a private waiting room down a side corridor, and it proved easy to find, since two more of our security guys were outside the door. I gave them a nod as we passed, Eli throwing the door open and rushing in before me.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Eli asked as I walked in and found only Jordan sat in there, looking pale and shaken.

“I don’t know,” he said as he stood. “They wouldn’t let me stay with her. Kane refused to leave, saying he was her protection, so they let him stand outside the room they took her in, but he isn’t answering my calls. She was so still. Kane s-said her pulse was too slow.” There were tears in his eyes and his hands shook as he pushed them through his hair. It only made my fears for Addy worse, to see Jordan looking that afraid.

“Stay here. I’ll see if we can get an update,” I told Eli as I left the room and headed back to the front desk, but I didn’t bother trying the haggard looking receptionist who was already trying to deal with three people at once. Instead I pulled my cell out and scrolled to the number of the director of the hospital we stood in. I had been a major donor when he needed funding for the new pediatric wing. I was going to use that to my advantage now. I’d never do such a thing for my own gain, but to take care of my family? Hell yes. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for them.

ADDY

A loud and constant beeping seemed to bring me back to consciousness. The first thing I felt was my chest. It felt wrong. My heart wasn’t pounding, but it felt like it should be. I was short of breath and as I opened my eyes panic instantly consumed me. A man stood over me. He was dressed in green scrubs and had dark hair and even darker eyes. He touched my chest and when I looked down my sweater was gone and I lay in only my bra, wires attached to little pads stuck all over my chest. I looked around, terrified, and found another two men and a woman in the room, all busy, but way too close to me for comfort.

“Don’t touch me!” I cried as the man stood over me moved to touch something on my chest again. I sat up and shuffled up the bed further away from him. I had no idea where I was and who he was, and I was too gripped by anxiety to think straight.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital,” the man told me.

“H-hospital?” I panted. Images of the last time I awoke in a hospital ran through my mind, and that only brought back so many more terrible images.

“We need you to lie back down, okay?” the man said and he reached for my arm.

“Don’t touch me!” I almost screamed as I rolled to the side, desperate to get away, but there was a rail on the bed and I ended up just curled into a ball instead, trapped. Tears ran down my cheeks as fear consumed me.

“Addy?” The sound of a familiar voice had me lifting my head enough to see Kane stood in the doorway. “What’s going on in here?” he asked as he looked from me to the other people in the room with a deadly glare.

“Kane!” I gasped. He instantly stalked over to me, the others around him seeing the menace on his face and backing up quickly.

“I’m here. No one’s going to hurt you,” he whispered as he crouched down beside the bed and locked his eyes on mine. I wanted to grab him and never let go, but I knew I couldn’t. He was just my security. That’s what he meant when he said no one would hurt me. It was his job to protect me.

“Asher and Eli,” I gasped instead. “Please…I need them.” I tried not to cry, but I was shaking hard and just so scared.

“Her brothers. They’re in the waiting room. Get them,” Kane ordered and someone hurried from the room instantly, but Kane didn’t move.

“Sir, we really need to finish the E.C.G. If you could just encourage her to lie back down,” the man, who I was starting to understand was a doctor, asked. Kane just sent him another glare and he instantly stopped talking.

I was so close to crumbling into pieces. I wanted to ask Kane where we were and what had happened. I wanted to dive into his arms and have him hold me, because I knew I’d feel safe there, but I didn’t. I held back and I tried to stay as calm as possible.

“Addy, just try to breathe. They’re coming,” Kane reminded me and I dared a look into his eyes again. He looked worried but he had gentled his features for me, no hint of the terrifying glare he had sent to the people in the room when he entered.

“I’m s-sorry,” I whispered.

“What for, crazy girl?” he asked, with a gentle smile.

“I know you’re b-busy. You sh-should go. I’m okay.”

“I go where you go, remember?”

“Maybe…maybe we c-could ask Asher to have someone else be my protection? I d-don’t want you to be angry with me all the time,” I told him.

“I’m not angry, Addy. I could never be angry with you. I’m just worried.” He reached up and ran his hand over my hair gently. I was even more confused, but before I could ask him why he hated me, the door opened and Asher walked in. He looked between Kane and I and his face paled instantly.

“Kane? What’s going on?”

“They want to do an E.C.G. but she’s terrified,” Kane explained as he stood and looked to my brother. “She was upset and she asked for you and Eli.”

I watched as Kane backed up and moved towards the door. I didn’t like the idea of him leaving me, but then Asher was there, before me.

“Hey sweetheart,” he said gently. He crouched beside me exactly where Kane had been and took my hand.

“Asher,” I whimpered as my tears broke free. “I w-want to go home now, okay?”

“I know you do, but you blacked out on Jordan in the park and we need to find out why before we leave.” I looked to him with confusion. I blacked out? I had never blacked out before, well, except for the time my mom threw a vase at me and knocked me clean out. The man, who still stood over me, stepped closer and I instantly tried to throw myself over the rail of the bed, knowing Asher would catch me and keep me safe.

Asher stood and grabbed me before I went over, cradling me against his chest like I were a child and guiding my head down onto his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung on. I didn’t care how pathetic it made me in that moment. I needed him.

“You need to leave,” Asher barked in the voice he only used with other people, never with his family. “No more men in this room. Find her a female doctor.”

I clung to him and hid my face like the coward I was, until I was sure everyone had left and only we remained.

“Addy, it’s okay. They’re all gone now,” Asher told me gently. I lifted my head and met his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered again. “I just…I was scared.”

“You don’t need to apologize. But no more being scared, okay? I’m here now. I’ve got you and Eli’s down the hall. We won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“Jordan says you winced a little, then just passed out. Your pulse was really slow. Jordan and Kane were terrified your heart would stop. Has anything like that happened before?” he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and repositioned me so I sat across his lap.

“No, not that I remember.” Of course that didn’t mean much since I had very little memory of the last two years. “Is Jordan okay?”

“He’s in the waiting room. He’s just worried about you. They’d all be here fussing, but the nurse said only one of us could be back here while they’re doing tests.”

“They took my sweater and they…that guy, he was touching me. I just freaked out,” I admitted.

“Of course you did. Anyone would have, even if they hadn’t been through what you have. But we need to get these tests done, Addy. We need to know what caused this so it doesn’t happen again.”

“I don’t think I can. I…” My voice broke and more tears flooded down my face. “I don’t want them to touch me. It’s t-too much. I can’t.” My throat was so tight the last words were little more than a croak, and I was relieved when Asher pulled me against him and hugged me tightly.

“It’s going to be just fine. I’m going to make sure you have a female doctor, and I’m going to stay with you the whole time. We’ll get the tests out of the way, then Eli can come in and drive you crazy with his fussing, okay?”

“You’ll stay with me?” I asked shakily.

“Every second. I’m not going anywhere,” he agreed with a nod.

“Okay, but can…do you think I can have my sweater? I feel too vulnerable like this. I need my clothes.”

“I’ll speak to someone, but for now you can wear my jacket, okay? It’ll be huge, but it will cover you. He pulled at the lapel of his suit jacket to make it clear what he meant and I nodded.

“Thank you.”

He set me down on the bed right beside him, then shucked off his navy suit jacket. He moved to wrap it around me, but paused and I knew why.

“Addy…” he gasped. He was in the position to see the mess that my back was. No one but the staff at the hospital before had seen it, and while it was healing well, I knew the scarring was bad.

“Don’t Asher, please. I can’t…not now,” I sniffled tearfully. I dare not look at him, too scared of what I’d seen in his eyes. I let out the breath I was holding when he wrapped his jacket around me and helped me slip my arms in. The sleeves were far too long, but Asher rolled them up, then wrapped the front around me tightly, covering me up as I needed.

“I love you, little dot,” he told me softly as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side.

“Love you too, Asher.” I may have only known him for a little over two weeks, but it had been long enough for me to build a bond. He was my brother. He and Eli both were and I loved them. I refused to over think it. I trusted them and I was so grateful and happy to have them at my side.

Not long after, a woman in a neat skirt suit appeared in the room. She told Asher she was a member of the board, whatever that was, and that we were going to be moved to a quieter room on the top floor.

When we got to that room, which was quieter and also much larger and brighter, there was a female doctor waiting to continue the tests that had been started when I was unconscious downstairs. She was assisted by two nurses and not one of them uttered a word about the fact I refused to leave Asher’s lap throughout. They were kind and patient with me, which meant I was able to keep it together throughout. It was obvious Asher had done something to get us the superior care. I knew he had a lot of contacts and had likely called one of them. I pushed the thought aside though, just grateful to be somewhere calmer and safe with Asher holding me.

It was still hard to be touched by strangers, even though they were now female, and my anxiety was right there, riding me hard, the entire time. Every time I did start to feel a little panicky though, Asher was there, holding me tighter and telling me I was doing great. I knew I wouldn’t have gotten through it without him.

Eventually the room cleared out, the tests done, and I was exhausted. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been there, but it felt like hours.

“You did so good, sweetheart. I’m proud of you,” Asher told me, and I admitted to myself that the praise felt good. I wanted him to be proud of me. He had done so much for me since the day he came to that police station in Vegas, and I never wanted to disappoint him.

“I’m so tired,” I whispered. I was still sat on his lap sideways, my head resting on his chest and his arms around me, keeping me warm and making me feel protected.

“The doctor will be back soon with the results. Hopefully, we can get you back home then.”

“I hope so,” I agreed.

Just then the door opened slowly and Eli peeked around it. His hair was stuck up and I knew he’d probably been pulling at it in his worry.

“Can we come in? The nurse told us the tests were done?” he asked gently. Asher looked to me and I nodded. More than anything I wanted Eli too.

“Yeah. Addy’s exhausted, but she did great,” Asher told his brother. I looked up as he approached. His suit jacket and tie were gone and his shirt sleeves were pushed up to his elbows and rumpled. I knew how much I had worried him and I felt terrible. He bent down until his eyes met mine.

“You scared me, shortcake,” he told me as he forced a smile.

“You scared us all,” I heard Adam add and when I looked up again he and Jordan were in the room too. Adam was doing good at looking calm, but I saw the way he was tapping his fingers against his thigh. I had noticed he did that kind of thing sometimes, usually when he was thinking about something. Jordan was pale and his neatly styled hair was now wild and stuck up. He looked to me and smiled, but it fell short. I knew of them all, he had to be the most terrified, since he saw me drop.

“I’m okay,” I told them as I lifted my head and took a breath. “But I’d be better if you all gave me a hug,” I added as I shakily slid from Asher’s lap. My legs were trembling, but I didn’t have to worry, because I instantly found myself in Eli’s arms. He crushed me against him and kissed the top of my head three times.

“Please never scare me like that again. I was so worried,” he told me. I held him tight, too choked up to speak.

Adam was next, though he didn’t say anything. He just held me tightly and took in a huge, deep breath. I reassured him I really was okay when he pulled back and looked me over with worry.

Then Jordan grabbed me and he held me the tightest, lifting me clean off of my feet as he pressed my head against his shoulder. “Fuck princess, I think you aged me ten years today,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,” I told him emotionally.

“We were supposed to be living, not dying,” he joked and I laughed through my tears.

“I’ll do better next time,” I promised him. He set me on my feet, but he seemed reluctant to let me go.

“Come and lie down with Eli for a while now, sweetheart. You’re exhausted.” Asher suggested. Eli looked to me for my approval and I held my hand out to him. He took it and guided me to the bed, Once he lifted me up and tucked me in, he climbed in beside me, on top of the blankets. I was grateful for his body heat, since I had lost Asher’s jacket when the doctor asked me to change into the flimsy gown I now wore. We were facing each other and he wrapped an arm over my waist as I snuggled a little closer.

“Sleep, sweetie. We’ll go home soon,” he told me and seconds later I was out.