Make Room for Love

Chapter 21

21

Half a block away from Volume, the thumping bass rattled Isabel’s bones and numbed her to everything else. She needed this. She hadn’t been back since the night she met Mira, and now she was trying to do the impossible: to forget about Mira, at least for a few hours. Cat’s set would be starting soon.

She’d made a mess of this. So much for staying away from Mira and not looking at her. Mira had worn down her walls so slowly and persistently that Isabel hadn’t even noticed until it was too late. She’d spilled everything—her dangerous feelings, her endless grief—and Mira had taken it all surprisingly well. But Isabel still felt too exposed, as though she’d peeled off an outer layer of skin.

And…that night last week. Lying awake for hours, all her senses magnified, her imagination tormenting her over the innocent sighs and creaks she’d heard from Mira’s room. And then walking right into Mira…

Isabel hadn’t slept much after that, either. Curiosity was one thing, but no straight woman on the planet had ever looked at another woman like that, Isabel was certain. Or maybe her imagination had run wild again. Wishful thinking.

In any other situation, she’d buck up and ask Mira what she wanted. But Mira was living in her apartment for another year.

If there was even a chance of hurting Mira, Isabel wouldn’t risk it. She burned with frustration. Not at Mira, never at her, but at everything that kept them apart. Even if Mira didn’t have a million good reasons for not getting involved with her roommate…well, just because she thought Isabel was worth looking at didn’t mean she wanted Isabel’s baggage.

Isabel had been frustrated that night, too. She’d been so out of her mind that she’d almost taken out her vibrator while Mira was in the shower. Knowing Mira was naked at that very moment, water sluicing down her body—that hadn’t helped, either.

She’d made herself a promise to not touch herself while thinking about Mira. A meaningless line in the sand, maybe, but she’d needed to draw one somewhere. And after months of pent-up longing, she’d broken her promise yesterday in the shower, shaking and muffling herself in her elbow, slick and dripping down her thighs. It hadn’t taken the edge off. She’d sensed the thick, syrupy tension between them during dinner, worse than ever. Or maybe she’d imagined that too.

How was she going to get through a year of this?

She reached the front of the line, showed her ID, and went through the door. Time to leave all that behind. Isabel used to meet women here, and at other bars and clubs where queer people cruised each other. She’d done it often when she was younger, heady with the awareness of how many girls wanted a big blue-collar butch to take them home and take charge. With Isabel, you knew what you were getting.

She hadn’t picked up anyone since she started dating Reina, and she didn’t want to tonight. She probably wouldn’t want to for a good, long while. She couldn’t even imagine being so over Mira that she’d bring another girl home. But it was good to be with her people, and a little dancing, maybe even a little flirting, wouldn’t kill her.

Within the first hour, she spotted an old ex she was still friendly with and another one she didn’t talk to anymore. She was disintegrating into Cat’s music and into the masses of people, all with their own problems and their own needs. Women looked her over and tried to come closer, and she didn’t discourage or encourage them.

Then, far away in the crowd, there was a flash of curly dark hair. Isabel’s heart clenched.

The person turned around, and the strobe lights illuminated their face. No, that wasn’t Mira—Isabel had memorized her face and the way she moved. Isabel’s alarm turned to a strange sense of disappointment. She didn’t want to find Mira here, did she?

She was thrown off, no longer part of the crowd even if she was in the middle of it. The music was infinitely far away and too loud. She had to clear her head. She looked around, found the exit sign, and started weaving through the crush of people. At the coat check, she grabbed her leather jacket, barely paying attention.

The too-cold air was a relief to her face and lungs. She rubbed her face, ran a hand through her hair, and froze.

Mira was standing on the sidewalk.

She spotted Isabel a moment later. Her dark eyes widened, and her lips parted. The pounding music disappeared along with every other person outside. So many beautiful women at the club, yet the only one Isabel truly saw was Mira.

They approached each other. Mira was stunning. Under the streetlights and the club’s neon sign, her skin subtly shimmered and her curly hair shone in every color. She wore a puffy jacket, but underneath it was that unforgettable slinky black dress.

Isabel couldn’t hold back anymore. She stared—at the long lines of Mira’s legs in her tights, her dramatic eye makeup, her lush lipstick, the hint of cleavage under her half-unzipped jacket. Isabel usually saw her prim and put-together for work, or soft and cozy in her house clothes, and it was a treat to see her no matter what. But now Mira was gorgeously done up, standing taller and more self-possessed than on the night they’d met, and Isabel was going to faint.

They were close now, so close that she could make out Mira’s individual mascara-coated lashes. Mira had on a delicate gold necklace, the pendant pointing straight down between her breasts in that low-cut dress. Isabel swallowed.

Mira spoke first. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

Isabel laughed. As always, Mira could disarm her in an instant. She was exquisite, playful and sparkling, her cheeks glowing from the cold.

“I’m not nice,” Isabel said. It was true. Her self-control was fraying. What she wanted from Mira could ruin them both, and Isabel should be pushing her away.

But they both stayed right where they were. Mira’s eyes widened—and in them, desire blazed, hot and wild. Isabel’s words could have been a joke or a warning. She wasn’t sure herself. Apparently, Mira had taken them as a challenge. “What do you call it when you rescue girls from their bad exes and make sure they get home safe? Are you just being honorable? Like a knight?”

Isabel had leaned closer unthinkingly. Mira had to tilt her head up. Her lips were painted dark red, and her breaths were coming fast, forming clouds in the chilly air. She was vibrant, delicate, alive. And nervous, too, which made her boldness even more alluring. A few more threads of Isabel’s self-control snapped. “I’m not that honorable, either.”

“So you have ulterior motives for coming here?”

“Yeah.” Isabel glanced at that gorgeous mouth again. The beating of her own heart drowned out everything else. “You could say that.”

Mira smiled. “Then it’s a good thing I’m not a pure maiden, either.”

They kissed. Hot, messy, surprisingly slow. Electric heat flooding through Isabel’s body, stars behind her eyes. Mira’s mouth was so soft, and the kiss was so perfect it hurt, and Isabel was so ecstatic she could die. Finally, finally, finally—Isabel had found an oasis in the desert, and she’d never drink deeply enough.

They broke off the kiss, panting, Mira’s expression wild and desperate. Then Mira lunged at her, and Isabel grabbed Mira with both hands, fingers tangling in Mira’s lush hair, and kissed her again.

No matter what, Isabel would always have this—Mira moaning needily as she squirmed with abandon against Isabel, her clear hunger the hottest fucking thing about it. She pulled Isabel down by the collar, and Isabel’s hand went to the small of Mira’s back, slipping under her jacket, feeling the furnace of her body through that thin dress and pulling her in tight. Isabel wanted so much, too much. She wanted to spend all night making Mira moan like this, wanted to kiss Mira like this every morning when they woke up. She was so far gone.

Then Mira broke off their kiss. She looked dazed, then uncertain. Isabel let go of her, panic rising.

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke.

“I’m sorry,” Mira said, looking closer to the scared girl from that first night than the siren she’d been a minute ago. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I…”

She ran past Isabel, toward the subway station, and then she was gone.