Mind Pucked (Chicago Blue Jays #1)

13. Amelia

13

AMELIA

M y heart thuds as if it might fall into my stomach. I don’t know what to say, so I just look at Jackson in shock. I’ve thought about this a lot recently, but I never once thought he would be the one to initiate this conversation…if a conversation was to ever be had.

I try hard to find the words to say, but nothing is coming out fast enough. The look on his face worries me—like he’s maybe wishing he hadn’t said anything at all. But I’m so happy he has, and as soon as I find the courage to say something…anything…I’m going to let him know exactly that.

I start with a simple nod…it’s all I can manage to do as he continues to look at me with a deep gaze that penetrates my soul.

“Say something,” he breathes, and my heart suddenly remembers how to work, though it’s still beating out of rhythm.

“Oh, Jackson, I’m sorry, I—” I begin.

“I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” he interrupts me. “I’m sorry, let’s just pretend I didn’t and move on.”

I shake my head, trying to get him to stop. I need to get him to calm down long enough for me to explain.

“No, wait—” I step forward and put my hand on his upper arm…his muscle quivering under my touch. “I was trying to say that I’m sorry I didn’t say anything right away. You caught me off guard is all.”

“I guess I’m good at doing that,” he says, putting his hand over my hand that’s still on his arm. “Sorry,” he adds.

My heart skips a beat, and I smile at him as he touches me tenderly. I’m still shocked and happy all at the same time.

Is this the right thing? I have to remember why I’m here. It was never about being with him, though maybe I should have thought of that before sleeping with him.

I want this, though. I know I do. I care for Jackson, I care for Hayden, and I love his life…I just wish my brother was here to see it all. My gut twists as I blurt out my answer despite my better judgment.

“Yes.” I smile at him. “Jackson, I would love to be in a relationship with you. To be able to tell people that we’re…more. To be yours at the games and with your friends…I want this as much as you do.” I pause for a moment. “Maybe even more.” A tear trails down my cheek.

“Are you sure, Amelia?” he asks softly as he closes the distance between us, allowing his finger and thumb to trail down my cheek and under my jaw, sending shivers down my spine.

“Yes,” I breathe, moments before our lips touch, soft at first, but then harder.

Soon the kiss becomes desperate and needy as heat floods me to my center, threatening to spew out like lava.

I feel his hand slip up my back and into my hair, his fingers trailing up the top of my neck and over the back of my head. More chills fill my body as my mind tries to remind me of the red flags.

“Hayden is going to be so happy,” he says as he pulls back from our kiss a little to look me in the eye.

“You think so?”

“That kid loves you, Amelia,” he says softly, taking my face in his hands and tilting my head to look up at him. “I meant what I said about her not getting close to anyone. Even the guys and their wives…all of them. She’s known them since she was born and ever since the accident, even though she was so young, she just hasn’t taken to anyone like you.”

More tears are falling as I struggle for words. All the layers of this man are beginning to fall away. First, he talked to me about his wife, and now he’s admitting that Hayden cares so much for me. I want to be happy—I want to allow this to be good, but even as my heart pounds for him and my body needs him in every way imaginable, my brain is still trying to make me see reason.

How could Jackson have anything to do with my brother’s death?

I don’t say anything else as his lips brush mine again. All my reservations crumble as I melt into him.

His body tenses as he pushes me a little until my back rests against the countertop. The towel from my shoulder falls to the ground with a light whoosh sound and I giggle, a true and happy kind of giggle.

“Damn, how I love your laugh,” he says to me through kisses.

I giggle again like a schoolgirl because my body seems to think that’s all I can do under his touch. Something about him makes me feel so good.

He moves his hand from the back of my head, letting it trail down my neck, between my shoulder blades, and down my spine, sending tingles through me and making my mind spiral. His fingers brush down, down, down, down, until they tap the top of my tailbone teasingly. I jolt forward a little, as if my body not only wants his touch but is welcoming it with open arms.

“What about Hayden?” I wonder as he kisses my lower lip.

“She’s asleep, isn’t she?” he asks with a teasing grin on his face.

“Yeah…for now,” I say teasingly.

“There you have it,” he says, moving his fingers under my waistband at the back of my leggings.

His fingers brush my bare skin, sending lightning through me. The tingles that were there moments ago have turned into a forest fire of want and desire as they coil in the lowest pit of my stomach.

I reach up and brush the stubble on his chin. I hadn’t noticed that he seems to be growing it out a little, and it makes his already insanely hot features even more intensely sexy, if that’s even possible. My thumb trails down his chin, resting on his Adam’s apple as I press in a little, letting my fingers wrap around the side of his neck with the passion that flows through me.

I pull myself closer to him as my lips part, making way for his tongue to enter my mouth. I let my hand slip around his neck, cupping the back of his head and pulling him closer still. I let my fingers twine through his locks.

In this moment, everything feels right. I’ve forgotten the real reason I’m here, and I’ve shut down the part of my mind that’s screaming that I’m betraying my brother…no, this is so much bigger than all that.

His hand, now resting on my bare ass, slips further down until his he’s kneading my flesh, sending more than lightning through me. Oh, how I love this, and yet I hate it at the exact same time. What is he doing to me, and what did I just agree to?

“Jackson,” I breathe through uneven breaths…but I don’t remember what I was going to say.

Using his free hand, he skims the hem of my sweater, sensual in all the right ways. I don’t remember ever feeling this when we slept together before. There’s just something about the unadulterated lust flowing through me, mixed with need, and the fact that I am his . It makes everything more intense.

Jackson’s fingers skim up my side, over my rib cage, his thumb hooked in the fabric of my shirt, bringing it up my body. I snake my free hand around to the small of his back and press my breasts against his chest, my nipples growing harder and tighter.

Jackson leaves my flesh alone for the moment to tug my shirt up over my head. Apparently pleased to find I don’t have a bra beneath all that cotton, he smiles at me mischievously, and in one quick motion he lifts me so I’m sitting on the lip of the counter.

He steps closer, closing the gap, and again I feel his hardness pressing against me, but this time he’s pressing against the apex of my thigh, so incredibly close to the spot where I need him the most.

Damn the material that divides us , I think as I fiddle with the hem of his shirt, pulling the white T-shirt up and over his head, revealing the most amazing set of abs I have ever seen. There is literally no one who compares to this.

“You are so beautiful,” he says as he runs his hands up my sides, allowing them to rest on my breasts that are crying out for his touch.

“You,” I breathe for a moment as I try to think of the words to say. “You are perfect for me,” I admit, still forgetting the screaming in my mind that’s currently attempting to override my heart.

I have never let my heart rule my choices, but this feels so right—even if it’s wrong. At this moment, I don’t care that my parents want me home. I don’t care that I’m here for a whole other reason, and I don’t even care that there’s a little girl sleeping upstairs who could wake up and find us in here…though I’m thankful for the monitor that sits on the counter next to us that still gives no indication she’s awake.

I smile through our kiss and push myself off the counter a little, just enough to allow room for him to slide my leggings off. I giggle again as he tickles me and pulls at my lace panties until both leggings and lace hit the ground at his feet.

Using his foot, he scoots them out of the way, and suddenly I realize I am completely bare here on this counter. I smile as I reach down and tug at his sweats. With little to no effort, they fall down, exposing him to me…he was going commando under there.

My body is enthralled as I take him in. He is bared to me and me to him. Something feels different this time, almost as though we’re sealing some sort of deal that we will be together for all the world to see.

Jackson leans in and kisses my jaw, letting his lips slide against my skin until they fall at the hollow of my throat. I tilt my head back, glad for the fact there are no upper cabinets in this part of the kitchen.

I put my hands behind me, resting on my arms as his lips create a line from the center of my neck to the side just above my shoulder. Literal chills course through me as I think about this feeling and how I want to feel it for the rest of my life. There is nothing like feeling his lips and hands on me.

He peppers kisses to my collarbone, and then my right shoulder. Sparks grow in the lowest recesses of my body and I feel as if I’m on fire with need. I throw my head back a little more as his lips skim downward until he licks my skin…the skin between my collarbone and the hardened mound of my left breast.

“Oh God,” I breathe as he sucks my nipple between his lips.

I can feel him smile around me. I moan through the pleasure and a bit of pain as he rolls my nipple between his teeth slightly. Everything about this man rings through my body. He treats me so damn well and is a total gentleman—in every other way and place except in the bedroom, obviously. I don’t want him to be a gentleman now…I need the beast inside.

I try not to shatter as his lips fall from my nipple to the top of my stomach as he kisses down—first to the middle of my abdomen, then my belly button. Now, to my lower stomach, right above where my need is the greatest.

He reaches around me and pulls my ass to the edge of the counter, and I lean back a little to brace myself on my hands once again.

My breath hitches as he falls to his knees before me, and I know exactly what he’s going to do…and I want it.

Jackson picks up my leg, putting his mouth against the top of my foot. “I want to kiss every inch of you…every inch of what’s mine,” he growls with his lips to my skin.

I shiver at his words and his touch, which causes him to smile against me as he kisses up, up, up my leg. First my foot, then my ankle, my calf, the top of my leg just below my knee…my knee. I tense as his lips travel to my thigh, then the inside of my thigh, up to the apex.

The moment his lips touch my heated mound I hiss through my teeth in delight, arching my back a little more, letting my legs fall over his shoulders.

He reaches around me, pulling me closer, but not so much that I’m off the counter as his lips continue to play at the opening of my core until I feel his tongue enter. Just the tip at first, but as I let out a moan, he thrusts his tongue inside me more deeply, alternating with licks up against my sensitive nub.

My throat gets dry, and my heart begins to race as I fall deeper into pleasure. I writhe against him as he bobs his head, kissing and lapping while he clings to my body as if he needs me forever. I fist my hand through his hair once again, knowing that I’m going to come unglued around him at any moment.

Every moment we’ve spent together like this speeds through my mind. Every sensual, sexy, hot moment we’ve spent tangled together plays like clips of a movie…a montage of ecstasy as I explode in a mess of pants and ragged breaths.

“I need you,” I say as he pulls away and looks up into my eyes from where he still sits on his knees.

He smiles, sending another jolt through me as he stands to his feet. I pull at him, wanting…no needing him to come undone inside me.

His erection is prominent as he stands before me, and I swallow hard at the thought of him inside me again. I tug at his shoulders to bring him even closer. His lips touch mine as his hardness rests against me. I fight the urge to lunge forward, to pull him against me, into me. I know it’s coming, but part of me needs him right this second.

I feel like I’m falling for this man.

Our lips part as he enters me with a thrust of pleasure. I bring my knees up to his rib cage, hooking my ankles at his back where they rest just above his ass. With my heels, I press him tighter to me…into me.

“Oh, baby, you feel so good,” he says, moments before our lips meet again and he starts to move against me, slow and steady at first.

I moan against his lips as I wiggle to meet his pace. His muscles are tight, and we’re both sweating despite how cool it is in the kitchen. He moves again and I have to lean back, pulling our lips apart. He doesn’t seem to mind since he just moves the location of his kisses to the hollow part of my throat again.

“Jackson…” I say, but that’s all I can say.

He thrusts again and again as I buck forward, meeting each one of his moves as we cling together in the desperation of the moment until we both shatter at the exact same time.

Once finished, we stay connected, just breathing in the moment and taking in every lasting feeling that seems to be coursing through us. We are one at this moment, and that’s all I want.

“I can’t believe you said yes,” he says as he sets his forehead to mine.

“I can.” I smile as we pull apart.

Oddly, my body already craves his touch the moment he leaves me. It’s the strangest thing.

“Amelia,” Hayden’s voice comes from the monitor beside us, soft in the haze of sleep.

We both laugh as Jackson scrambles for his clothes, throwing mine to me at the same time.

“It’s Daddy, I’ll be up there in just a minute, sweetheart,” he says, holding the button on our end so she can hear him.

“Otay, Daddy,” her little voice says softly as I throw my sweater over my head and pull on my panties and leggings.

Somehow, Jackson is already dressed, and I wonder if he has his long hockey career to thank for the swiftness.

We both look at one another with wide eyes, and then break out in hysterical laughter as I reach down and grab the hand towel I ditched on the floor at the start of everything.

I go back to cleaning as Jackson turns to go check on Hayden, though he turns at the last moment and smacks me on the ass before he goes.

“Oh!” I say as I jolt forward, laughing at his antics. I still have a grin on my face as he walks out to go check on the little girl who I’m learning needs me just as much as I need her.

As I clean and sanitize the counter we just had sex on, my rational thought comes back to me slowly. The thoughts I’ve been holding at bay due to my longing for Jackson begin coming back in. I try to push them away, they need to stay away, but here it is again…the real reason I’m here.

I didn’t come here to be a nanny and fall in love with this child. I didn’t come here to fall for her father either…the man who’s suspect number one in my mind…but I have.

I just don’t really believe anymore that he’s capable of doing the things I thought… think he did to my brother. I’ve created a war within myself that I never intended to create.

I just need to figure out what side of the war I’m on…the side where my brain makes sense or the side where my heart wants to win. I’m thinking my heart needs a chance to come out victorious in the end…for once.