Mix-Up under the Mistletoe (Glenbriar #11)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Tilly

Sunday, December 22 nd

Evening

T he soft jazz version of ‘Jingle Bells’ coming from a hidden speaker was almost enough to set Tilly off crying as she made her way downstairs with her suitcase. The delicious smell of Hilary’s home-cooked food drifted through the house along with the unmistakable sounds of happiness. So much joy had filled her life since arriving here on Friday. How impossible to think it had only been a few days. In some ways it felt longer, but now it was almost over, it was far too short.

‘Hey, I was just coming to find you.’ Rafe strolled out of the living room with Genevieve.

They were both smiling, but it looked forced. Rafe’s lips were pinched and Tilly could hardly bear to meet his eye.

‘When can we go?’ Tilly asked. Christ, did that sound rude? She just wasn’t sure she could prolong this bittersweet agony anymore. How horribly it reminded her of packing up to leave foster homes. Often Ellie chose to pull the rug from beneath her feet just as she’d got excited about being in a place. When she was hopeful and looking forward to having her own room and a kind family to support her was when everything would come crashing down.

Like it was about to do now.

Rafe checked his rather fancy watch. ‘It only takes a couple of hours to get to Glasgow. We can go earlyish to make time for the weather and the traffic, but Mum’s made dinner, so let’s eat first. It’ll save having to get something on the road.’

No point mentioning she wasn’t hungry at all. Not when they were all being so kind. Just as they had been since the moment she arrived. But how could she eat when her stomach was in knots?

‘Ah, Tilly, come here.’ Hilary opened her arms, wrapping her in a hug again. Tilly forced herself to be hard as steel to not start crying again. What a wreck she was. She’d never cried as much in her whole life as she had done this weekend… But neither had she experienced so much laughter, joy, and love. Her emotions were going through a revolution, and she couldn’t keep up.

‘I’m not doing anything too fancy tonight,’ Hilary added. ‘Take a wee seat. I’ve done some roast chicken, mashed tatties, and roasted veggies.’

‘It smells really good.’ And it did, almost good enough to make her feel hungry in spite of the pangs in her tummy.

‘It’ll hopefully fill you up for the journey. Train food isn’t always the nicest.’

‘Thank you so much… for everything.’ Tilly took her seat at the table, removed her glasses and cleaned them.

‘No need to thank me. It’s been such a pleasure having you.’ Hilary ran her hand over the back of Tilly’s hair, smoothing it down, almost like she was stroking a pet, but there was something so motherly about it. Tilly had seen her doing the same kind of thing to her children and Alexander. ‘I’m sorry you have to leave, but I understand your reasons. Don’t get me started on that horrible boss of yours. I hope he realises what a wonderful and dedicated worker he has in you.’

Tilly knew he wouldn’t. ‘Well, if I can at least salvage what’s left of my career so when I apply for new jobs, I’ll have good references, that’ll be enough.’ She replaced her glasses.

‘Sounds like a dreadful place to work,’ Grandma said. ‘You want to get out of there as soon as you can. Don’t waste any more time on the place.’

Rafe sat next to Tilly and Genevieve sat on her other side. Was it possible to mask the sadness in her eyes? Maybe she should just sit and weep openly. Her insides were doing it, after all. She felt more like her child self than ever. Was she having some kind of regression?

‘I’m glad Alexander’s all better.’ She forced her voice to remain level. He was chattering away in his high chair, throwing bits of bread to the floor.

‘Yeah, he’s all good as new.’ Tina ran a finger across his forehead. ‘It was one of those cuts that looks a lot worse than it actually was.’

‘All that blood was scary,’ Genevieve said.

Rafe moved his hand under the table and gently placed it on Tilly’s thigh. She inhaled sharply and almost jumped at the contact, but he applied gentle pressure and gave her a little smile.

‘We’re going to miss you,’ Cressida said to Tilly. ‘You’ve adapted perfectly to our family chaos. It won’t be the same without you.’

Rafe squeezed her thigh under the table, and it sent her breathing haywire.

‘I’ll miss you all too. And I’m so grateful for how kind you’ve been. The way you welcomed me was so nice, especially when I actually came here for… well, a totally stupid reason.’

‘It wasn’t stupid. Fate brought you,’ Genevieve said.

Rafe shook his head. ‘Genevieve believes in everything. Maybe it was Santa who brought you.’

It might as well have been. She could almost imagine riding high in Santa’s sleigh, watching the dollhouse world below. How often in her life she’d felt like that. Santa only glimpsed the houses for a short moment once every year and Tilly had done that this year too. She’d popped in and enjoyed a fleeting Christmas moment.

‘I agree with Genevieve,’ Grandma said. ‘There were definitely other forces at work here.’

Was that possible? Tilly’s heart told her to believe it. Coming here had been a gamble and, even though Mitchell had encouraged her to do it, it was something she wouldn’t normally have attempted.

‘I wish I had something to give you all to thank you,’ she said. ‘But I don’t.’

‘All we need is your phone number,’ Hilary said. ‘You’re always welcome here, but if you can’t get back any time soon, please call us.’

‘I can write it down if anyone has a pen.’

‘If you call me,’ Rafe said. ‘I can pass it on the family group chat.’

He read out his number and Tilly called it. As soon as his phone vibrated, she ended the call. He tapped his screen and sent a message. Other phones at the table buzzed.

‘Now we’re all connected,’ he said.

Genevieve tapped her phone. ‘I’ll be messaging you loads. You can’t escape.’

Tilly let out a little giggle and Genevieve pulled her in for a one-armed hug.

‘I’ll be checking you’re ok every few minutes,’ she said, ‘so take care of yourself, ok? And don’t let your boss push you around.’

‘I’ll try not to.’

There was a murmur of collective agreement.

Rafe’s eyes fixed on her. ‘Don’t let him railroad you. You’ll stand your ground if I know you. Tenacious.’

She smirked. ‘I’m not sure about that.’

‘You should be. Coming here at all took guts.’

‘It was so silly. I should have thought it through.’

‘You did,’ Genevieve said. ‘You thought you were doing something to prove yourself to your boss, but you had to come because fate was calling.’

‘I can’t say that to my boss.’

‘I wouldn’t,’ Rafe said. ‘But technically, you’ve done nothing wrong. Unethical maybe, but you were only following company directives. You came here on a colleague’s advice after a discussion. I’m perfectly happy to talk to your boss and vouch for your conduct. Call me anytime and I’ll speak to him.’

Tilly almost wanted to laugh, but she didn’t. She recognised the kindness in his words, but at the same time she couldn’t escape what they’d done together. Her boss didn’t need to know that.

But I know!

What would Arnie read into the situation? Rogue employee swans off to visit a rival CEO at home, gets stuck in the snow with him, and comes out with his full backing. Eyebrows would surely be raised. What had she done to gain his favour? The gossip mill would be churning out all sorts of stories for that one… And she’d not be able to deny any of them.

She was a 1-Quick Getaways employee who had jumped into bed with the CEO of Innova-Travel and that was a fact, not a rumour.

Chewing her food got more and more tricky. Of course, it was delicious. When had Hilary’s food ever been anything but? Every mouthful took her closer to the inevitable goodbyes. Although there was plenty of conversation around her, it was oddly subdued, or maybe she just wasn’t focusing on it properly. The dollhouse doors were slowly closing and her part in their world was coming to an end.

No one would let Tilly help clear up, or Rafe, for that matter.

‘You should get going, in case the roads are bad,’ Geoff said.

‘Oh dear,’ Hilary said. ‘I hate goodbyes. I do hope you’ll come back.’ She gave Tilly a bracing hug and Tilly held on to her.

I wish I could stay. Here. With all of you.

Tilly’s eyes filled with tears as memories of leaving foster homes flooded her mind, although it was unusual for the foster families to be this distraught. Typically, they seemed relieved to be rid of Tilly’s sister – the little tyrant as she was often dubbed. Occasionally, one of the foster parents would give Tilly a squeeze on the shoulder and tell her to take care, but that was about it.

These hugs were overwhelming. Even Geoff, who had been the least demonstrative of the family, put his arms around her and gave her a pat on the back. She got a slobbery baby kiss from Alexander and a rib crusher from Finlay. Genevieve and Hilary were openly wiping back tears, and Grandma shook her head with tight lips.

‘Safe travels.’ Cressida gave her the final hug. ‘Let us know how you get on.’

‘Bye.’ Tilly stepped back from Cressida’s hug, giving them all a little wave.

Rafe opened the door and headed for the Raptor. Its lights flashed in the dark driveway as he reached it. Tilly hurried across the snowy ground and hopped in, her throat burning and her head throbbing under the pressure of trying not to let emotions overcome her. She looked back, watching as they wound up the driveway. The light around the door, illuminating the Harrington family, grew smaller and smaller. Finally, it vanished. The dollhouse door closed fully, and Tilly was on the outside again. She shivered despite the heated seats.

Thank goodness for the dark. She could cry silently and anonymously, shrouded by it. Rafe was leaning forward slightly, his eyes fixed on the front, unwavering from the road. Ploughs had cleared a large track down the middle, but there was snow at the sides and on the verges. In places, it had drifted, covering the track again. Tilly half closed her eyes, praying to anyone who would listen to please keep Rafe safe. She’d dragged him out at night in this weather. She’d never forgive herself if anything happened to him. Neither would the Harrington family. How could she bear it if her nonsense caused something dreadful to happen to the most wonderful family?

‘So, what will you do for Christmas?’ Rafe asked as they reached Glenbriar. How beautiful the street looked all lit up with Christmas decorations on the lampposts and the dimmed shop windows gleaming with little trees.

‘Nothing much. Maybe just go for a walk or something.’

He cast her a brief glance, but she didn’t meet his eyes. No pity needed. She already knew how lonely it sounded.

‘What about you?’ she asked. ‘I assume you’ll go back to your parents’ house tomorrow or Christmas Eve.’

‘I’ll head back tomorrow. Christmas Eve is a fun day. I wouldn’t want to miss it.’

‘What happens?’

‘Ah, you know… The excitement; the build-up of waiting for Santa.’

‘And you still get that?’

He huffed out a laugh. ‘Not really, but Mum has a way of making it fun for everyone. She sets up hot chocolate and movies. We play games and then we go to the Christingle service at the church in the afternoon. I’m not particularly religious but it’s got its own charm, I guess.’

‘I don’t even know what it is.’

‘It’s a candlelit service. The kids make Christingles out of oranges decorated with birthday candles and sweets. All the sections represent something, and the kids walk in with them while adults sing Christmas carols. There’s something magical about it. Even cynics like me can enjoy it.’

‘It sounds beautiful.’ Like nothing she’d ever experienced, or maybe would ever experience. ‘You’re not a cynic. Not really.’

‘Maybe not.’ He reached over and put his hand on her knee. ‘Having you with me has helped to see how much fun this stuff can be. Sometimes I moan and just want it all to be over, but actually when you take the time to embrace it, there’s a lot of good in there.’

‘There really is. It’s all been new to me, and I’ve loved every minute.’

‘That’s something to take back, at least. Oh shit!’ He took his hand off her knee and slapped the wheel.

‘What?’ She grabbed the seat. He hadn’t braked, so it couldn’t be anything on the road.

‘Oh… er, nothing. Didn’t mean to startle you. I just forgot something, but it doesn’t matter.’

Should she pry? What had he forgotten? This trip was of her making, but maybe it was something he needed for his flat that night.

‘When I was a kid,’ he said, and she recognised a swift change of subject. ‘I remember Mum taking us to a Christingle service and giving me strict orders not to let either of my little sisters run when they were carrying them.’

‘And did you manage that?’

‘Not really. Cress ate all the sweets and then poked Genevieve with the empty cocktail stick. I was too busy trying not to drop mine and set fire to the church because they only had big candles left by the time they got to me.’

‘Oh dear.’ Tilly laughed and her shoulders lightened temporarily. ‘You’ve just ruined the lovely image you painted a few minutes ago.’

‘Sorry.’ He patted her thigh again and this time, she seized his hand and squeezed it. A smile played on the corner of his lips before he lifted his hand to the wheel again. The motorway passed in a haze of headlights and taillights. Every so often, they’d skirt the edges of unnamed towns or skirt villages in the valley or on top of hills, visible only by the lights in their windows. Some had flashing Christmas or fairy lights marking the eves. Tilly’s mind opened up to her imaginings again. Who lived there? What did they do? Were their lives happy in those little bubbles?

With a sigh, she pulled her eyes from the latest row of roadside houses and checked her phone, hoping for no new emails from work. She still hadn’t replied to Arnie. What should she say? If she told him she was coming and then there were delays, it would add to the pressure. If she arrived by surprise in the morning, it would only belittle the effort she’d put into getting there and the trouble she’d put others to, because once she was there, no one would care how she’d got there. Arnie wouldn’t even ask. Maybe she should email him and explain she was trying her best, making a big effort.

Was there any point really?

‘I hope whatever you tell your bosses at 1-Quick about me will be favourable,’ Rafe said. His tone was humorous, but was there a meaningful undercurrent in there too?

‘I’m not going to tell them anything about you.’

‘How will you manage that? Will you pretend you didn’t see me? Because if you tell them the truth, I’m happy to vouch for you.’

‘I’m not sure what I’ll say. I don’t know what Mitchell has already told Arnie.’

‘Don’t let either of them get away with what they wanted you to do. Tell your boss Mitchell endorsed the idea, and you went along with it because he was the more experienced worker. Or better still, tell them you don’t like how they work.’

‘I don’t think I have the nerve. It’s a sure way to get sacked.’

He let out a sigh. ‘If i was in your position, I’d leave before they gave me the chance. There will always be jobs for hard workers like you.’

‘Yeah.’ If she could just be brave. It had taken courage to visit Rafe. Maybe she could invest that energy in doing something for herself. Something she knew was right, but something Arnie and the bosses wouldn’t like. She’d devoted nine years to 1-Quick, turned a blind eye to poor management and corrupt practises. The stability had been worth it to begin with. The money was ok, but what was the point of that money? She had nothing to spend it on except her extortionate rent. She had no hobbies apart from enjoying the odd walk here and there, no pets, no family, no one. Her few friends were vague acquaintances from work and not people she spent time with or bought gifts for. The people she loved the most were either at Greenacres or in the car with her right now. She’d finally found her folk, and she needed to find a way to get back to them once she’d sorted out the mess.