Mix-Up under the Mistletoe (Glenbriar #11)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Rafe

H eadlights from a taxi illuminated the rain-slicked pavement as Rafe and Tilly hurried down the street towards the dramatically lit-up Central Station in Glasgow. The festive illuminations highlighted the rows of arched windows, reminding Rafe of the black and white films his mum loved. He half expected an old-fashioned car to go by.

The frosty night air bit through his jacket and he kept close to Tilly. Much as he loved this city, he didn’t want to be too far from her. Maybe he was being overprotective. Tilly lived in London after all and was used to city life, but he didn’t want her to feel alone. A few cars rushed past, slushing through the puddles, but compared to the daytime, it was quiet and near deserted.

As they headed towards the station entrance, their footsteps slapped on the wet pavement. Rafe kept his hand close to Tilly’s back. The burn in his chest pushed him to reach out and take her hand. Her grip was firm, almost too tight, like she was trying to crush him, or maybe she just didn’t want to let go. He stole a glance at her profile; her eyes were fixed on the ground.

Passing a bench near the entrance, Rafe saw a figure huddled in a makeshift shelter of cardboard and blankets.

‘I hate seeing that,’ he said. ‘It’s a bloody crime in this day and age, especially at Christmas. Nobody should be out here freezing and alone.’ He let go of Tilly’s hand, reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, then dropped a ten-pound note into the man’s cup.

‘Thanks,’ the man mumbled, his eyes briefly meeting Rafe’s before returning to the ground.

‘Take care, mate,’ Rafe said. He shared a glance with Tilly as he took her hand again and they started walking again. ‘Makes me so sad.’

‘Yeah.’ Tilly looked back at the man. ‘I always wonder how it happens.’

‘Could be so many reasons. We give a donation from work every year to a charity that provides Christmas dinners to the homeless. It’s only one meal once a year, but sometimes it’s little things that make a big difference.’

‘I like that idea. When I was in the home, we got Christmas presents people had donated. It wasn’t anything fancy, like the big electronic gifts most kids were getting, but it was better than nothing.’

‘That’s what giving presents should be,’ Rafe said. ‘Giving to people who have a real need, not just buying expensive gifts for everyone and anyone.’

‘I suppose if you have the money to spoil your kids, you should do it though. They’re only little for a short time, and those early days are so precious. They can affect us for our whole lives.’

He stopped walking just inside the entrance, looked at Tilly and gently pushed a stray strand of her dark hair off her face. ‘You’ve done alright for yourself considering where you grew up. Better than your sister.’

Tilly nodded. ‘Yup. But you know what?’

He shook his head.

‘She’s got friends. A lot more than I have. How is that possible?’

He glanced around, searching for an answer. ‘I’m not a psychologist, so I’m not sure, but my guess is that she’s more outgoing than you. She made bad life decisions, but that’s because she chose to fight against the harsh upbringing you had. You withdrew, kept yourself to yourself and made a sensible and safe life.’

‘You should be a psychologist. That’s probably accurate. It just doesn’t seem completely fair.’

‘Life isn’t always fair, unfortunately.’

The overhead speakers crackled with an announcement, and that cold, stale scent of dampness and diesel lingered in the air. Rafe shifted his focus from Tilly to the departure board.

‘Platform seven,’ he said. ‘The train is probably already there if you want to go. They usually let you board early.’ Not that he wanted her to leave him any sooner, but she was probably keen to get on her way.

‘Yeah, I know,’ she said. ‘It’s how I got here, remember?’

‘Sorry, I forgot. It seems so long ago.’ But it was only a few nights. So much had happened in between. His eyes shifted back to her again. He could gaze at her all day long and it wouldn’t be enough. But short of buying a ticket and going with her, he wouldn’t see her for who knew how long.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have come to Greenacres.’ Tilly’s eyes misted over again. ‘But I’m glad I did. I’ll never regret meeting you.’

Rafe tugged her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and back, pinning her tight to his chest. ‘Nor me, Tilly. Nor me.’ He dipped in and kissed her forehead, holding his lips there and closing his eyes. ‘I found something in you. Something I hadn’t found before and I’m not sure I will again.’

She let out a little sob. ‘I want to see you again.’

‘You will.’ He kissed her again with a sigh. ‘I don’t only exist at Christmas. I’ll still be here next week, next month, next year. You’ve got friends up here if ever you need us.’

Tilly held him so tight she almost broke him in half, but he could take it. He could take so much more because physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional ache tormenting him all over.

Keeping his arm around her, he walked her to the platform. The train was waiting and a sudden urge to get on with her seized him, but he fought it down. He couldn’t do that. This was her journey and the chance of getting a ticket this late would be like trying to catch a flight back to Chicago in Home Alone .

She turned to him, slipped a cold hand around his cheek, and raised her lips to his. Without question, he returned her kiss, snaking his arms around her and holding her close, probably taking it further than was sensible on a public platform. But only a few people were around, and he couldn’t care less if anyone was watching. Rafe groaned as their tongues touched. A hot spark of need woke inside him, but it would soon fizzle out. Tonight, he’d be alone in his flat. Tilly would be rattling towards London and who knew when he’d see her again?

‘I’ll miss you.’ She pulled back.

‘Same,’ Rafe said, not letting go. ‘Message me, ok?’

‘I will.’ She pushed up and placed a brief kiss on his cheek before lifting her little case.

Other people were getting on the train and Tilly watched them, then took a deep breath.

‘I should get on. It’s nearly time.’

‘Take care.’ Rafe stole one last kiss, gave her a bracing hug, then thrust his hands in his pockets as she boarded the train. He ambled along the platform, where he could still see her moving down inside the coach. When she took her seat, he drew level with her, extricating one hand, so he could give her a little wave. The engine kicked into action, and he stepped back, pocketing his hands again, not quite sure what to do with them. Or to do at all. Should he stand here and wait until the train left? Or walk off and let her go? He resisted the urge to barge on, run down the train and pull her back.

Don’t go! Stay with me.

But real life didn’t work like a Hallmark movie. Tilly had to do this.

Eventually, the train drew off, and he walked along beside it. Tilly looked back, sucking on her lip, then waving. The train picked up speed. Rafe raised his hand to wave.

Wait. He should have told her…

‘I love you,’ he said, knowing it she couldn’t hear him. Could she lip read? He cursed himself for not saying it sooner, but as the train’s rhythmic clatter faded into the night with its rear lights, he had a flicker of relief. Maybe it was just as well he hadn’t told her before. The waters were muddy enough and Tilly didn’t need him messing her up anymore with his rash words. He stood on the platform, watching until the two red specks vanished completely.

Tilly was gone. He sighed. Now he had to go home and clear his head. Maybe he should have paid heed to what Tilly said about love. What felt real in this moment may pass and be little more than a flash in the pan a few days from now.

He walked back towards the exit. A twenty-four-hour shop was open, and he nipped in, buying a hot drink, a sausage roll, and a large muffin. On his way back to the car, he passed the homeless man again and crouched down, handing him the bag of food.

‘Thanks, man,’ he wheezed.

‘Is there somewhere you can go?’ Rafe asked. ‘A shelter? I can help if you want.’

‘Na, you’re ok, mate. This’ll see me through, thanks. You look after yersel.’ The man patted his shoulder. ‘Yer a good guy.’

‘Take care.’ Rafe got to his feet. Good guy or not, he was certainly a lonely guy.

It didn’t take long to drive to his flat. He’d only been away a few days, but it felt empty and cold, like he’d been away for weeks. Maybe that was because he didn’t decorate it for Christmas and compared to the home he’d just come from, it was so bare. He shook his head, throwing himself down on the sofa in his minimalist living room, not closing the blinds. The city lights twinkled in. It wasn’t just the lack of Christmas decorations making the flat feel bare. Laughter, company, and love were absent.

His phone had been vibrating all the way from the station to here and he half hoped he’d find a message from Tilly, saying she’d got off the train and wanted him to come for her and take her home… home to Glenbriar with him. Glenbriar. A place that wasn’t home to either of them, and yet it felt like it should be.

None of the messages were from Tilly.

All of them were from his family, hoping he was ok and saying how already the house was quiet and empty without the two of them.

‘Bet it’s not as empty as here,’ he muttered, not sure if he meant in the house or inside his chest.

Other notifications flashed in. Among them he spotted an email to his work address marked urgent from an Arnold_Wilcox@1-Quick-Getaways.

He clicked it open and read.

Dear Mr Harrington

As you will be aware, 1-Quick-Getaways has been looking to make connections with various other travel companies across the country. Last week, we sent two employees to Scotland to make first contact with you. It has been drawn to my attention that one of the employees sent to liaise with you took it upon herself to travel to your home in an attempt to conduct a meeting with you when she wasn’t able to meet you at your office.

Please let me inform you that this behaviour was not authorised or suggested by myself or any of the other senior managers at 1-Quick-Getaways. We do not condone or sanction this behaviour. We have informed the employee of our take on the matter, and she will be dealt with accordingly.

Please accept my sincerest apologies and rest assured this matter will be taken very seriously.

Arnold Wilcox

Rafe leaned back, and half closed his eyes. Poor Tilly. This was what she was going back to. Nine years of devoted service and she’d be lucky to come out of this with a job at all.

Rafe frowned and tapped the sofa arm. How could he convince her to kick 1-Quick to the kerb and move on? Maybe she could get a job up here. That would take out the problem of a long-distance relationship.

Assuming she wanted that. Hopefully, she wouldn’t go back to London and forget he existed. Already she felt like someone he’d invented – perhaps as a story to fool Genevieve. Was she a figment of his imagination he’d spent a couple of blissful days acting out a dream with? Without her close by, his heart hurt, and his mind was foggy. Where did he go from here?