Never Kiss a Highlander

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Brendan Mackay had walked barely three or four steps before Alison rounded on Finn. “How dare ye threaten my friends.”

“I dinna threaten yer friend. Tis no’ happy I am that he had his arms around ye. Ye are a married lass, and I will no’ permit another mon to handle ye.”

“Handle me? I doona believe I am hearing this.” She poked the arrogant oaf in his strong chest. “The mon has been my friend since we were bairns; I hadn’t seen him in a while.”

She studied him for a minute. “Ye were jealous.”

He flushed and sucked in a deep breath. “I am no’ jealous. I’m just protecting what is mine.”

“Protecting what is yers? Am I merely a possession to ye, then? Like yer horse?”

By this time, Alison’s “friend” had disappeared into the baker’s store. Finn took her elbow and marched her forward. “I could use an ale.”

Just to show her independence, she would love to deny him, but she was thirsty herself. “Verra well. But I’m no’ going for an ale because ye ordered it.”

The man had the nerve to smirk.

They settled at a table near the back of the room. Alison traced a small circle on the table while they waited for their drinks. “Ye seemed to look around the room and then took this table all the way in the back. Why is that?” she asked.

Finn leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “‘Tis safer at the back of the room. I prefer to watch what’s going on and who is coming and going. Now lass, I’m giving ye a suggestion, no’ an order. Ne’er turn yer back on the door.

“Also check where back doors and windows are so ye can escape quickly if ye need to.”

She decided if they were to have a peaceful marriage, she would have to make some concessions and so would he.

She took a sip of her ale and studied him. “‘Tis a good idea. I can see the wisdom in it.” After a moment, she asked, “Why are ye so determined to control everyone?”

His eyes narrowed. “Are ye referring to yer ‘friend?’” He shook his head. “I’m no’ wanting to control everyone. I just doona want another mon holding ye in his arms.”

She laughed, then sighed. “He wasna holding me in his arms, we were hugging each other, which is what old friends do. But with ye arrogant ways, ye probably doona have friends to ken this.”

He grinned. “I have plenty of friends, but we doona go around hugging each other like a bunch of lasses.”

Finn took a sip of his ale. “Why are ye so determined to put yerself in danger?”

Apparently it was now Finn’s turn to ask questions. Of course he’d never answered hers, though.

“I am no’ putting myself in danger?—”

“Doona start off yer answer that way.” He paused for a moment. “Let me change my question. Why are ye careless about yer safety? Riding outside the castle walls alone is dangerous for a woman—even a mon—when it would take verra little effort to ask for someone to ride with ye.”

She looked to the other side of the ale house and gave his question some thought. “Why do I do things on my own? When William died of an infection from his wound right after Bryan was killed on the battlefield, the entire castle went into mourning.” She shook her head. “Losing his sons changed my da,” she said, looking down to her lap.

“He dinna care about anything. He spent a great deal of time in his solar drinking. Then things began to fall apart in the keep. Tenants were having problems that needed their laird to straighten out. Da stopped holding court so fighting erupted between those who had issues.”

“Had yer brothers been his second-in-command?”

“Aye.” She took the last sip of her ale and placed the mug on the table. “However, to get back to your question, no one was what you would say ‘in charge.’ Albert and James kept the warriors in line, but they dinna have time or the authority to take over the laird’s jobs.”

“That was when ye decided ye could take care of yerself?”

She sniffed. “I have learned the hard way no’ to trust anyone. Especially men.”

“I have a feeling there is a story behind that.”

Alison shrugged. ‘Twas no reason to keep it secret. What had happened to her was not an unusual story.

“Blair Mackay, one of our warriors, and I developed a love for each other.” She smiled softly. “Or so I thought. We had promised each other to marry as soon as he gained permission from my da.”

She flushed slightly. “We had been intimate, but always stopped before it was too late. Both of us had grown frustrated but held onto our promise to each other. Then, before Blair had worked up enough nerve to speak with my da, he was shipped off to one of the Mackay borders.”

She smiled again. “He met another woman, married her and had a bairn before he returned with his family in tow.”

“I would say I’m sorry, lass, but then ye would no’ be married to me.”

That statement gave her pause. She studied him for a moment. Did he really mean that? Was he truly happy with their marriage?

From that day forward, she had trusted no one, especially a man. She held her heart close, and she’d found the best way to do that was to be independent, trusting only herself.

Despite the feelings she was beginning to develop for Finn, she would never trust him enough to hand her heart to him to stomp on.

Finn took her hand in his. “I would ne’er hurt ye, lass.”

She huffed. “Ye might no’ intend to, but ‘tis no’ a promise ye can keep.”

“I hope one day ye might feel as though ye can trust me.”

She couldn’t help the tears that flooded her eyes. Even though she’d stopped caring for Blair Mackay a long time ago, some days she still felt the pain of that betrayal.

Finn waved the server over to refill their mugs.

“Ye might no’ have noticed, husband, but ye ne’er answered my question. Why do ye always feel as if ye must control everything? Ye ken that’s no’ possible.”

He shook his head. “Nay. I don’t wish to control everything; I just have the need to control myself.”

She smiled at the server as she refilled their mugs. “I feel as if there is a story behind that, also.”

Finn hesitated and then shook his head. “Nay. I was just born that way.”

The pain was still too raw even after ten years to be able to share the story of when he’d lost control, and how it ended in tragedy.

Since he was not prepared to share the stories of his weakness, after Alison had spoken of hers, the rest of their time at the alehouse was strained silence.

“‘Tis close to the evening meal; we should probably head back,” Finn said, downing the rest of his ale.

Alison nodded and stood. With his hand once more on her lower back they walked quietly to the stable. He again helped his wife onto her horse and they rode back to the castle.

“My lady, where have ye been?” One of the kitchen maids greeted them when they stepped into the great hall.

“My wife and I were at the village. What seems to be the problem?” Finn asked.

He could tell by the stiffening of Alison’s shoulders that she resented him answering the maid for her.

“Maude is now sick as well as the other two kitchen lasses. We need someone to cook.”

“Do ye mean to tell me that no one has started the evening meal?” Finn asked.

The lass shook her head. “Nay. We were looking for Lady Alison for the past hour.”

The three of them hurried to the kitchen.

“What has been done so far?” Finn asked.

Eli, the young lad who took care of the bread for the keep, wiped sweat from his forehead with his arm and placed four loaves of bread on the work table. There were already six loaves there. He waved at Alison. “We have bread.”

Alison turned to Finn. “I ken it’s no’ your job, but I need help.”

He nodded. “What do ye want me to do?”

She seemed surprised that he asked her. He had no problem giving up control in the kitchen. ‘Twas apparently not a place where he was comfortable.

Alison turned to him. “We need meat, but there is no time to cook a stew.”

He shook his head. “Nay. I will grab a few of the warriors and we will catch fish. It cooks faster.”

She looked at him with a slight smile. “How do ye ken that?”

He grinned back. “Years of eating while traveling as a warrior. How do ye think we feed ourselves?”

“I guess I ne’er thought about it. Will ye do that?”

“Aye, lass.” He turned and left.

Alison was still surprised that Finn had offered to help with cooking. If he thought he was going to take control, he was in for a surprise as well. Although, she thought, he did ask her what he could do.

She kept Brenda and Sorcha, the two kitchen maids left, busy cutting vegetables. Once Finn returned with three baskets of fish, she had Eli help with Finn preparing the catch for baking.

“Brenda, you and Sorcha check to make sure there is fresh butter and cheese to serve with this.”

She looked over to where Finn was busy frying fish since he said it would be faster than baking. She smiled when she remembered how he asked her if they could switch how they cooked the fish. Mayhap she was winning the control game they’d been playing.

Once the fish was all cooked, the few kitchen staff members worked quickly to place all the food onto platters and carry out to the great hall.

Poor Finn got a lot of kidding because he was right there with the rest of them serving. Alison had no idea how strong the man’s confidence was until he just blew off their teasing.

Once all the food had been delivered, Alison sat on a bench in the kitchen, waving a towel back and forth across her face, creating some cool air.

Finn walked in and sat alongside her. “Ye did a great job, wife.”

She shook her head. “Well, I must admit I ne’er expected ye to help in the kitchen.”

He bent and gave her a quick kiss. “Beware. I will always do the unexpected, lass.”