Out of Nowhere (Balls and Brawn Bodyguard #4)

21. Chapter Twenty-one Dex

Chapter Twenty-one: Dex

H orizon was situated at the end of a long road lined with cottonwoods and sycamores. It had an Olympic-sized swimming pool, tennis courts, and even a golf course. Garfield has spared no expense when he chose this place. When Dex had gone there earlier in the day, Anna had been participating in an art class. Some residents had been painting, but Anna and a couple of other women had been working with clay. She’d seemed happy at that moment.

When Dex and Seo-jun arrived, they were told Anna was in the solarium, and that, as Dex had requested, she had not been told he was coming. He wanted her true reaction, since he’d learned over the past couple of years that Anna could be very manipulative. With Seo-jun with him, Dex felt calmer than he had that morning when he’d visited. Dex didn’t expect Seo-jun to do or say anything—he just needed his presence. When he’d told Seo-jun that, the look on Seo-jun’s face had made Dex realize that what he’d said meant a lot to Seo-jun.

What were they becoming? Seo-jun had said he’d never considered a relationship until him. Were they starting one? Dex hoped so. He really, really wanted that.

Dex wasn’t sure why he was nervous about visiting his sister. His only guess was that it had something to do with the resentment he’d been feeling since she’d dragged him into her obsession with West. He did his best to hide it from her, but the fact remained that she’d used him and put a job he really liked in jeopardy.

Seo-jun’s hand brushed Dex’s just before they walked into the solarium, and when Dex glanced at him, his look communicated the message “You got this” as clearly as though he’d said the words.

Anna was sitting in an oversized chair reading a book, her blond hair pulled back from her face with a clip. She wore no makeup and looked a little tired. When Dex and Seo-jun walked in, she looked up, her mouth dropping open when she recognized her brother. Standing, she dropped her book and crossed the room quickly, throwing her arms around him.

“Dex, what are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you,” Dex said, hugging her back.

Anna looked at Seo-jun, a question on her face, so Dex introduced him to her.

“Are you here for work?” she asked as the three of them sat down, she on the chair she’d just vacated and Seo-jun and Dex on a green velvet couch dotted with colorful pillows. Plants and books covered almost every surface of the room, and outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the surface of the swimming pool rippled in the breeze, bright sunlight flashing off it.

“No. We took vacation time to come and check on you. You worried me the last time we talked,” Dex said.

Anna looked at Seo-jun again, eyes speculative. “Are you two dating?”

“What? No.” Dex glanced at Seo-jun, who looked implacable as always. “He’s a friend who came with me because he used to live in California. I’m meeting two of my old climbing buddies at Yosemite tomorrow before going back. We’re going to climb El Capitan.”

“Oh.” Anna clasped her hands over the slight mound of her abdomen.

“How are you doing?” Dex asked. “How’s the baby?”

She shrugged. “It’s growing. I feel okay, for someone in prison.”

Dex looked around the room at the books, the plants, the pool outside. “It doesn’t look much like a prison.”

“Says someone who isn’t stuck here, unable to leave,” Anna said.

“I’m sorry you feel trapped,” Dex said.

Anna’s hands clenched into fists, calm turning to anger in seconds. “I was only trying to live my life. I know I made a mistake with West. I know I was…intrusive.” She said the word like it was one that had been repeated to her many times. “But I was moving on. He has that guy—“

“Logan,” Dex said. “His boyfriend. They’re talking about getting married.”

A shadow crossed Anna’s face before she locked down her expression.

“Whatever. He has that guy, and I have Adam. Had . My dad ran him off. I’ll probably never see him again.”

“I take it Adam’s the meth head who knocked you up?” Dex couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to antagonize her, but she was acting like she’d been building a great life for herself rather than setting fire to what was left of the one she had.

“He’s a great guy! Sure, he did some drugs, but he never pushed that one me. I made that decision. Lot’s of people do recreational drugs. Lot’s of women get knocked up. But I do it, and they stick me in here!”

Unable to believe what he was hearing, Dex stood up. “Are you even listening to yourself? Methamphetamine is a seriously dangerous drug! You start taking that, and one day you wake up in a gutter with your skin hanging off your body and no teeth! Or, worse—you don’t wake up at all. Is that what you want? This is a nice place, one Garfield is paying a lot of money for you to stay at so you can have a healthy baby, but do you appreciate that? No!”

Seo-jun’s hand on his arm brought him out of his rage. Breathing heavily, he sat back down on the couch. Anna stared at him with teary eyes, but her mouth was a firm line.

“I guess this is what you came here for. To tell me off. What else do you want to say? I know there’s more.”

“I came here because I was worried about you,” Dex said dully, feeling like he’d just run a race. “But I guess that means nothing to you either, that I would take time from my job to fly here just to make sure you’re okay.”

“You don’t even know me,” Anna said, and, for a moment, Dex thought he saw hatred flash in her eyes. “You never tried to get to know me.”

Dex didn’t need her to tell him he was a bad brother; he’d told himself that plenty of times over the past couple of years.

“Did you ever try to get to know me ?“ he asked. “I had to go to school, make a career for myself.”

“Of course. Perfect Dex. Straight A’s. Never got into any trouble. Too good to take my dad’s name, even though he raised you.”

Too good? Is that what she thinks? Dex’s mind reeled, emotions churning inside him; anger, confusion, hurt. Once again, Seo-jun’s hand coming to rest on Dex’s arm grounded him, allowing Dex to calm down enough to take a deep breath.

“But maybe I was wrong,” Anna said, eyes narrow as she looked between Dex and Seo-jun. “Maybe you aren’t so perfect.”

Putting a hand to his head, which had begun to pound dully, Dex asked wearily, “What are you talking about, Anna?”

“You’re gay. ”

Dex’s back stiffened as he met her gaze.

“Aren’t you?” Anna prodded, then laughed. “I should have realized it a long time ago. You don’t date. You’ve never been interested in women.”

“I don’t see what my love life has to do with anything,” Dex said woodenly, even as a voice in his head screamed, She knows, and she’s going tell Mom. And Mom is going to be so disappointed. So disgusted.

“It has everything to do with the way I feel. Mom, Garfield—hell, even my dad—think you’re so great. You’re not even his kid! Dex did so well in school. Dex got a great job. He’s so smart. Blah, blah, blah.”

Dex frowned. “Since when do they say things like that about me? All I ever hear is how I should stop working so much and settle down with a family. I once overheard Garfield refer to me as his nerdy stepson with intimacy issues. ”

Anna barked out a bitter laugh. “Mom is going to be so freaked out when she learns her wonderful son is gay. I won’t be the only disappointing child, then.”

“Anna,” Dex said, hating the pleading note entering his voice, but the fear that had lodged in his chest when Anna figured out he was gay was now climbing up his throat, threatening to choke him. “You might hate me, but please don’t tell Mom.”

“Give me one good reason not to.”

Dex froze. “I…” he faltered, not knowing what he could say to convince her not to tell. She was being so cold. Not like when she wants something from you. Dex and Anna stared at one another as silence filled the room.

Seo-jun broke it, his voice level.

“How about because, whether or not you thought he was when you were younger, Dex is a good brother to you now? The only sibling you have, if I’m not mistaken. And he’s been there for you, consistently, throughout this entire ordeal. He even tried to help you out with West when doing so could have gotten him fired. And, when your actions were revealed, embarrassing him in front of friends and colleagues, he didn’t eject you from his life as many brothers would in the same situation. Dex talks to you every week on the phone. He gets reports on your health and progress from his mother, someone I get the impression he’d rather not speak to so frequently if he had the choice. Because he cares . The way I—someone who isn’t fortunate enough to have siblings—see it, that’s not something you should so easily throw away out of petulant vengeance. And how about because every human being has the right to their privacy and to decide how they want to handle things?”

“This is none of your business,” Anna said, but the fire had gone from her eyes. Standing, she said tiredly to Dex, “I need a nap. The baby sucks up all my energy. Will you come have lunch with me tomorrow? It’s served at one.”

“Of course,” Dex said.

“Don’t bring him with you,“ Anna said over her shoulder before walking out the door.