Quiet Longing (Quiet Love #2)

29.

Charli

That’s my girl.

I read his text more times than I could count, a fluttery feeling in my belly every time I imagined Rhys saying it in his deep Irish accent. In the end, I had to force myself to stop because I liked him referring to me as “his girl” far too much, but he’d obviously meant it in an encouraging, friendly way.

On Saturday morning, he was already there when I arrived to the first apartment. It was an open viewing, and there was a line of about fifty people ahead of us. His friend Janice had scheduled the open viewings for the morning and would be meeting us after lunch to show us around a few places privately. But if this was the current demand for rental properties, I worried I was going to have a tough time finding a place.

“Oh man, this doesn’t bode well,” I said as I reached Rhys and casually slid my arm through his. The more time I spent around him, the more comfortable I’d been getting, and lately, I couldn’t resist touching him in small ways. I craved his nearness. It was a big change to how I’d been only a couple weeks ago when I’d first arrived. I’d been anxious and tended to give most people a wide berth, especially men. But I didn’t hesitate for even a second to get close to Rhys. After how gentle and understanding he’d been when I’d broken down at the restaurant opening, he’d certainly earned my trust. I felt safe with him.

I wondered if he’d noticed the shift in me.

“Don’t worry,” he said, patting my hand as his gaze wandered over my cheeks that were a little flushed from the cold, the wind blowing tendrils of hair across my face. “You’re in no rush. We’ll find you somewhere eventually.”

His warm, reassuring tone did something funny to my chest.

“I really like this place though,” I said, trying to distract myself from the butterflies that swarmed my belly whenever he touched me. “I was looking through the pictures, and the apartment is super cute. Plus, the neighbourhood seems cool.”

“It is a cool neighbourhood,” he agreed, his attention wandering over the people lined ahead of us as well as those gathering behind. There was a tense, stressed out atmosphere amongst the prospective tenants that was beginning to infect me, too. Sensing my tension, Rhys brought his hand to mine again, placing his palm over my knuckles and giving a soft squeeze.

“Relax, okay? Today is for seeing what’s out there and getting the lay of the land. No pressure.”

“No pressure,” I repeated, nodding to myself just as the line began to move.

It was almost an hour before we got to go inside, and even then, we were only allowed a cursory look around before a harassed looking woman took my details and said she’d be in touch.

“I have a feeling she’s not going to be in touch,” I commented wryly as Rhys gently pressed his hand to my lower back and guided me out of the building.

“With that many people looking, it goes without saying that competition is stiff,” he replied and directed me down the street to where he’d parked his car.

We drove to the next viewing, which wasn’t too far away but was a similar situation to the first, with a long line waiting to get in. I wasn’t as enthused about that one, and neither was Rhys, mainly because the front door was flimsy and the security of the building in general left a lot to be desired. It was the kind of place a burglar only had to breathe on the locks to get inside.

Being in his line of work, Rhys seemed to notice those things a lot more than the average person. By the time we got to the third viewing, I couldn’t resist teasing him a little.

“Let me guess, the alarm system is from the Stone Age, and your ninety-five-year-old grandmother could kick in the locks,” I said with a small, lopsided grin when I saw him frowning at the barely functioning alarm pad.

“I won’t apologise for taking your security seriously,” he grumped, and my cheeks heated. Why did that statement get me strangely hot and bothered?

“It’s lunch time,” he said then. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Oh, yes! I’m starving. Can we get cheeseburgers? I’ve had a real craving for fast food lately. Not that I don’t appreciate Aunt Jo’s cooking, but it’s always either comfort food or super healthy.”

Rhys’ lips twitched. “I can probably make that happen.”

We hopped in the car and drove a short distance before Rhys parked on a residential street.

“This doesn’t look like a fast food establishment,” I commented, a little confused.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I’ll have you know that Maison de Rhys makes a mean cheeseburger.”

My eyes widened. “This is your house?”

“Yep, come on in, and let’s get you fed.”

He came around to open my door for me, and I stepped out, taking it all in. Rhys lived in a yellow brick terraced house on a long street that ended in a cul-de-sac. I was more curious than I’d been in a long time to see inside.

“I didn’t realise cheeseburgers were a French cuisine,” I commented teasingly as he slotted his key in the door. Rhys cast me a playful grin.

“Of course, they are. You’ve just got to put a little Dijon mustard on them.”

“Ah, so that’s how it works,” I said, shaking my head as he led me in.

I stepped into the entryway, unsurprised to find the place spotlessly clean. I remembered Rhys being particularly neat and tidy when we’d worked together in the hotel kitchen as teenagers. His time in the army had probably made him even more adept at keeping his living space in order.

“Let me take your coat,” he offered, eyes soft as he waited for me to remove it. I did so carefully before handing it over, our fingers brushing a moment. As always, touching him brought forth a zing of awareness.

He really had no idea how much spending time with him meant to me. Rhys was patient and easy going, allowing me to initiate touch if I felt like it but not making a big deal if I did. He had the emotional intelligence to know how difficult it was to try to get back to a place of normality after living for so long in tension and fear. I was grateful he hadn’t tried to bring up our kiss in Aidan’s office, nor any of the stuff he’d discovered about my ex-husband. Rhys was very good at making everything feel easy and normal between us, and it was exactly what I needed.

I hadn’t seen a whole lot of Stephanie since our interaction earlier in the week. Rhys worried she might do something to make me feel uncomfortable at work, but it never happened. My hope was she’d realised her jealousy was needless and decided to take the high road.

Rhys and I were embarking on a new friendship, and it was one of the few things I’d truly appreciated in my fresh start. I was aware I was being naive to call it that, especially considering the kiss, but entertaining anything more than friendship would be foolish on both our parts. I valued his company too much to mess things up by diving into something neither one of us was ready for.

“My feet are killing me,” I said as I followed him into a cosily furnished living room and then into a very masculine kitchen. There was a lot of exposed brick and a butcher’s block worktop. “Do you mind if I take my shoes off?”

I’d been wearing brown leather shoes that were fine for sitting at a desk at work. They weren’t exactly suited to standing for long periods and traipsing around potential rental properties.

Rhys’ gaze travelled over me, lowering to my feet before rising back up, his jaw flickering for some reason before he replied, “Why don’t you go sit on the couch and rest while I cook?”

He ushered me back into the living room and motioned for me to slip off my shoes before indicating I take a spot on the pale grey sectional couch, accented by navy and forest green cushions and a stone grey wool throw. I sank into the plush piece of furniture before releasing a pleasured sigh, closing my eyes. I didn’t realise Rhys remained standing there until I reopened them and found him watching me while rubbing faintly at the scruff on his chin. I wondered what he was thinking.

“I really like your house. You did a great job with it, and the floors are gorgeous,” I said, indicating the shiny hardwood beneath his feet.

“Thanks.” His hand dropped from his chin. “I’m happy with it.” He glanced at his watch. “If we have time, I’ll show you around upstairs after we eat.”

I swallowed down the nervous lump in my throat at the prospect of seeing where Rhys slept. I could just imagine him, this large bear of a man, sprawled out naked on a giant king-sized bed. The image had me clenching my thighs, and I was glad Rhys had already turned and gone back into the kitchen. He was so good at reading me I feared he might’ve seen my thoughts somehow if he’d still been standing there, intently watching me.

I could hear him opening and closing cupboards in the next room while I checked my phone for any new messages or emails. There was only one from Nuala. She’d sent me a bunch of prospective locations for our loosely planned ladies’ summer vacation. I smiled as I scanned through the options then heard what sounded like a small dog barking in distress outside.

Rising from the couch, I went to the window and saw an elderly man had stopped by Rhys’ front door. He had a little terrier on a leash, and it was going crazy barking at two Corgis across the street. The woman walking the Corgis swiftly turned the corner and disappeared out of sight, but the terrier’s distressed barking and jumping had caused his leash to get tangled up around his owner’s walking stick. The man was clearly struggling to maintain his balance, and, acting on instinct, I slipped my shoes back on and hurried outside to assist him.

“Need some help?” I asked, making sure not to pay any attention to the dog because it was still a little worked up. Though I’d never owned a dog, I knew not to touch or look one in the eye that was already scared.

The man startled, then frowned with mistrust. “No, thank you. I can—” He trailed off, struggling to untangle the leash. I sensed he was worried he might drop it, and then his dog could go running out onto the road and into traffic.

“Here, let me,” I said, holding out my arm, and he reluctantly took it. “Do you know Rhys?” I asked as he made better work of untangling the leash now that he had me to lean on. The dog growled faintly at my proximity, but I continued ignoring it.

“Uh, yes. I live next door. In there,” the man said, pointing to the house right next to Rhys’.

“Oh, well, I’m a friend of his. Wow, your dog is super cute. I don’t think she likes me very much, though,” I went on with a small chuckle. Complimenting the dog’s cuteness seemed to be the right angle because the man relaxed and warmed up a little.

“Her name’s Ruby. She’s a bit overprotective.”

“That’s her job, right?” I said, casting a quick glance down. “Hello, Ruby.” The man finally had the leash untangled as he let go of my arm.

“Thank you for your help, Miss,” he said.

“Not a problem, I’m Charli. It was nice to meet you.”

“You, too. I’m Bruce.”

“Have a great day, Bruce,” I replied, and he nodded before continuing to his house, his gait slow and measured.

I stood in place, making sure he got there without any further issues, then noticed a “For Sale” sign nailed to the house on the other side of Rhys’. Like Rhys’ place, it appeared to have been recently renovated. The old brickwork had been restored, and it had an adorable pastel blue door with a silver knocker in the shape of a butterfly. Oh gosh, the front of the house was so lovingly maintained, with window ledges painted the same pastel blue of the door, and the butterfly knocker was so cute I knew the sellers could probably wrangle an extra 10k out of someone like me from those features alone.

I briefly wondered how much it cost before pushing away the thought. I had some savings, as well as a decent chunk invested, but buying a house instead of renting felt like too big of a step. I was still finding my feet. And besides, I doubted Rhys would be enthused about me moving in right next door. Just because he enjoyed my company from time to time didn’t mean he wanted me as a neighbour. I also wasn’t sure how I’d feel being his neighbour. I mean, signing for one another’s packages when the other was out was one thing, but what about when he was ready to start dating again and brought a woman home? I had no claim over him, but I didn’t think I’d enjoy witnessing his love life.

Stepping back inside the house, I found Rhys in the living room. “Where were you?” he asked, wiping his hands off on a dish cloth.

“Your neighbour, Bruce, had some trouble with his dog. She was barking at a pair of Corgis across the street, and her leash got tangled around his walking stick. I was just helping him to get it untangled.”

Rhys’ eyebrows jumped. “You met Bruce?”

“Yes, he was a little wary of me at first, but he warmed up when he realised I was your friend and didn’t plan to mug him or steal little Ruby.”

He started to smile. “And you know the dog’s name, too.”

“Well, it would be rude to introduce myself to the man and not his dog.”

He finally released his full smile, and it did something funny to my stomach. Several indecipherable emotions passed over Rhys’ expression as he stared at me. Butterflies batted their wings. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He dragged a hand over the stubble on his jaw. “Steph used to complain about Bruce and his dog a lot. She couldn’t stand the barking.”

“Oh, well, I think Ruby only barks because Bruce is elderly, and she’s trying to protect him.”

Again, he gave me that warm, tender expression before motioning me into the kitchen. “You’re probably right. Come on. Food’s ready.”

I followed him back to the kitchen, where the table had been set, and there were two plates, each containing a burger heaped with cheese, onions, pickles, and ketchup.

“It looks so good,” I exclaimed as I slipped my torture chamber shoes back off, wiggling my toes as I sat down. Too hungry to wait for Rhys to join me, I took a big bite then moaned at how good it was. He’d even added the Dijon mustard, which gave it a vinegary, spicy kick.

I was going in for bite number two when I noticed Rhys still hadn’t sat down at the table. Instead, he stood about a foot away, his blue eyes hooded as he watched me. The butterflies returned, stronger than before, as I gave a self-deprecating chuckle. “Sorry for the dramatics. I was just so hungry, and this is really good. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

Rhys finally sat, lifting his burger and taking a much less feral bite than I had. “It’s a burger, hardly haute cuisine,” he said, his tone teasing in a friendly sort of way. I arched an eyebrow, and he blew out a breath. “I’ve just always been into food, and I like cooking.” He thumbed behind him to the stack of cookbooks on the shelf near the cooker. “When I was younger, it always cheered Mam up when I cooked something new for her. I’ve been collecting recipes ever since.”

His mentioning his mom had emotion rising forth. Back when we were teens, I’d had no idea how much I would come to relate to her situation. “Well,” I said and cleared my throat. “You were right. You do make a mean cheeseburger. Also, I noticed the house next door is for sale.”

Rhys rubbed his jaw. “Yeah, it just went on the market a couple days ago. It’ll probably sell fast with how the market is right now.” He paused to eye me, curious. “Why? Were you thinking of buying?”

“Well, it would be a solution to the problem of competing against hundreds of other prospective tenants for all those rented apartments. But you can relax,” I chuckled softly. “Even if I do decide to buy, it won’t be the house right next door to yours.”

Rhys’ expression sobered. “Why not?”

My heart flipped in my chest at his response like he thought us being neighbours was an ace idea. I gave a quiet, self- deprecating laugh. “Hey, I know we get along, but that doesn’t mean you want me living next to you. We all need our space.”

“If you like the house, and you can afford it, I think you should put in an offer,” Rhys said, surprising the stuffing out of me. I blinked at him. Then I blinked some more.

“You’d be okay with that?”

“Of course, I would. Why wouldn’t I? It’s a good investment, and the prices around here tend to only go upward. The current owners put a lot of work into it. It’s basically ready to move into. You wouldn’t need to do any renovations unless there’s specific things you want to change.”

“Oh,” I breathed, still stunned by how enthused he was about me living right next to him. “Well, I’d have to take a look at my finances. I might have trouble getting a mortgage since I just started a new job, but I do have a decent savings and investment portfolio. Plus, Uncle Padraig has me on a very generous salary at the hotel.”

“What about your divorce settlement?” Rhys asked, and I tensed. It wasn’t exactly my favourite topic, but since he knew what Jesse was really like, I didn’t think he’d judge me too much if I told him the truth.

I took another bite of the burger before setting it down and wiping my lips with a napkin. “There wasn’t one.”

Rhys blinked like he thought he misheard me. “What do you mean, there wasn’t one? Derek said your husband was some big shot lawyer and that the two of you lived in a penthouse apartment in a fancy neighbourhood. I’m assuming half of that apartment belonged to you?”

I glanced down at my half eaten burger before looking back up at him. “No, actually. Jesse bought the apartment in his name, and he paid the mortgage. He said it was because he earned a lot more than I did, and it wouldn’t be fair to expect me to pay. It seemed like a generous offer at the time, but before long, I realised it was to keep me trapped and dependent on him for a place to live.”

“Motherfucker,” Rhys practically growled. “But you lived there. You were married. You still would’ve been entitled to half.”

“Rhys,” I whispered.

“And what about alimony?” he went on, not hearing me. “Did you have any shared assets?”

“Rhys,” I repeated, louder this time, and his eyes flashed to mine. Emotion rose up, clogging my throat as I forced myself to confess, “The only way I could get him to agree to the divorce was if I left with nothing.”

I watched his hand that rested on the table clench into a fist. He was angry, and I totally got it. I grew angry too when I thought about how much Jesse got away with. “He kept the apartment, both cars, and all the money in our shared accounts.”

“Jesus Christ, Charli, but what about …” His eyes flashed black, dark thoughts clearly filling his head. “You must’ve had injuries. You could’ve gone to the police and had him charged. A judge would’ve granted you a divorce on the grounds of domestic violence and awarded you at least half of everything.”

“You don’t understand,” I said, so quietly I was practically still whispering. “I didn’t want it. Anything to do with Jesse was tainted, and I know how vindictive he can be. If I took everything or had him arrested, he would’ve come looking for me at some point. Taking from a man like him is dangerous because he can’t let things go. No, it’s better to let him feel like he’s won. Getting away from him is the real victory. Being able to sleep at night and feel safe is all I ever really wanted.” I didn’t realise I was crying until I felt a fat, wet tear roll down my cheek. “I didn’t need a big divorce settlement. I just needed my freedom.”

Rhys appeared agitated as he rose from his seat like he wanted to come to my side of the table and put his arms around me. Instead, he sat back down and reached across to take my hand.

“But he can’t just …” he trailed off, frowning as he worked through several thoughts and feelings that flashed across his face in a medley of frustration. Finally, his endlessly blue eyes met mine, his voice much more measured when he said, “He’ll do it again to someone else. You know that, right?”

With that one statement, he might as well have sliced a sword through my middle. Because that was the one thing that stole my peace of mind lately. In my desperation to rid Jesse from my life, I’d been selfish. I’d only thought of saving myself. I hadn’t considered the others who might fall victim to his insidious charm. But it’s difficult to focus on anything but getting free when you’re in survival mode. I still spent a lot of time puzzling out ways to save those possible victims, but every time, I ended up at a brick wall.

“I’ve very aware of that, Rhys. More than you know.” I paused to let out a heavy sigh. “It haunts me.”

I met his gaze and received a wave of empathy. I knew merely by his expression that he understood the guilt I lived with. If only I’d been braver, stronger, maybe I could’ve gone to the cops and done something real, made sure that even if I couldn’t have him sent to prison for his abuse, then at least he’d get a record that could screw with his career a little.

Rhys cleared his throat, changing the subject, “You said you have some savings?”

“Yes, I … when I first started working at my last job, I was hired as a junior accountant. About two years later, I was promoted to senior accountant, and then a year after that, I was made head accountant. I never told Jesse about the promotions, so he didn’t realise I was receiving a far greater salary than what I’d started out with. I’ve always been a lot smarter than him when it comes to finance, and I figured out how to hide the extra money, sending it to an account I’d opened that he didn’t know about. I also managed to invest a large part of it, earning modest returns. So, as I said, I can cover the down payment to buy a place. It’s getting approved for a mortgage that will be tricky.”

“Maybe Padraig or Jo can go guarantor,” Rhys suggested. “I’m sure they’d be happy to help you out.”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask that of them,” I said, tucking some hair behind my ear. “It’s too much. Besides, it’s just an idea. I’m still not entirely sure if I want to buy. It’s a big step.”

“Yeah, take your time. There’s no sense rushing into anything.”

I nodded and returned my attention to finishing the burger. Though after talking about my divorce, my appetite had dwindled. I dabbed the ketchup from my lips as Rhys stood and started gathering our plates to bring to the sink. I tried to help, but he insisted I sit and relax since I’d need my energy for the afternoon viewings.

To distract myself from how good Rhys looked standing by the sink rinsing dishes—his broad shoulders and muscular backside drawing my gaze like a moth to a flame—I found myself pulling out my phone and searching for the listing for the house next door. By the time Rhys was done tidying up, I’d just about fallen in love with the place. The current owners had modernised the interior with features that were stylish in a classical way. It meant anyone could move in and put their own stamp on it.

The best part was the small back garden that had been landscaped to utilize the limited space. There was a patio perfect for chilling after a long day at the office as well as a raised bed with a little sign that read “The Butterfly Pantry” with flowers butterflies loved, like lavender and geraniums.

Clearly, whoever owned the place was big on butterflies

I was so besotted that I didn’t immediately notice Rhys had come to stand behind me, bending down and resting his hand on the table to see what I was looking at. His warmth and citrusy cologne snagged by attention as I turned and looked up at him.

“I think I’m in love,” I quietly confessed, and there was a brief flash of surprise in his gaze before his attention went to the phone in my hand.

A soft, affectionate smile graced his lips. “If you want, we can knock next door and see if Melanie or Kevin are home. That’s the couple who own it. They might let you look around.”

Just like that, my hopes lifted, and at that moment, I knew the little house was for me. Just the idea of having a place that was mine, a place no one could take from me, had my heart soaring. I didn’t even realise how much I wanted to own my own house until that very moment. I’d thought renting would be fine, but something about traipsing through all those soulless apartments had changed my mind.

It was almost like destiny that Rhys had decided to take me back to his place for lunch. Somehow, I felt like I was meant to see that house.

“Yes, please,” I answered, and Rhys went to grab his coat.

“Wait here. I’ll go knock next door and check if they’re in.”

Nodding, I had a hard time tamping down my excitement. The house was expensive for being so small, but I knew I was paying for the location more than anything else. I did some quick mental calculations and decided I could definitely afford to buy it so long as I was approved for a modest mortgage and so long as there wasn’t some big bidding war that raised the price.

Then I thought about the fact that buying the house meant I’d be living next door to Rhys, and though I might have to deal with some jealousy when he eventually started dating again, I was a big girl. I could handle myself and whatever feelings came with Rhys having a love life. Besides, I wanted him as a friend and would have to hear about the next woman in his life at some point sooner or later. No, being neighbours would be a good thing. There was something reassuring about knowing Rhys was nearby though I hadn’t analysed exactly why I felt that way.

A minute later, he returned and motioned me to him. “They have ten minutes before they have to leave for Melanie’s doctor’s appointment. Come on. Let’s go check out your possible future home.”

His words sent a flurry of excitement sweeping through me as I slid my shoes back on, grabbed my coat, and headed out.