Rejected and Regretted (Ashen Wolves #1)

23

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A V R I L

Since I started taking silver, my beta and gamma had been watching me like hawks. They were never more than fifty feet away from me, afraid I would get mauled by some psycho if they weren’t paying attention. I was honestly getting tired of having them constantly breathing down on my neck, but I couldn’t blame them.

As not only my closest friends, but also my second- and third-in-command, it was natural for them to be protective of me, especially when I couldn’t rely on my wolf strength and heightened senses. I was vulnerable in a place where no one really liked me. Though I was certain that what Koen did to Angelica and Chad served as examples of what he would do to anyone who tried to harm his guest, as no one else had bothered me since.

Speaking of Koen, he had been keeping his distance for the past few days. The last time we had talked outside of some polite hellos was the night we went into the city. I caught myself wondering if he was staying true to the promise he had made - the only condition under which I accepted to go out with him.

Strangely enough, I was conflicted about how I felt regarding his absence. I expected to feel relieved, but part of me still wanted to know what drove him away right after he…kissed me…and I kissed him back . Thankfully, Kea was right about one thing - it was indeed easier not to overthink my relationship with Koen when she was barely conscious. So, every time he crossed my mind, I just pushed him away as fast as I could.

“Are you looking for him?” Theo’s voice shook me back to reality after I zoned out while we were strolling across the busy town square.

I immediately frowned. “What? Obviously not! I just got distracted,” I promptly explained, though I was compelled to consider if there was any chance I was subconsciously doing what my beta had just accused me of.

Focus . As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I eagerly dismissed it, like I did every other time. It was easy; just as quickly as the subject popped up in my mind, it vanished.

“It still doesn’t make any sense to me,” Elijah spoke next, a slightly annoyed expression illustrated on his face. “If your wolf really does want him back, and he feels the same way, then what’s the matter?”

A low growl escaped me at his insistent question. He didn’t wince or lower his head, as he would whenever I signaled that he was irritating me. It evidenced how he not only disapproved of my decision to take wolfsbane, but also my relationship choices.

“When I wanted him…” - when I needed him - “he turned me down. He forfeited the chance to be with me when he rejected me the minute I turned eighteen. I don’t care how he or Kea feel - I’m the one who doesn’t want him now,” I explained. “Besides, I don’t really believe he feels anything for me. At best, his wolf might still hold some sort of connection to mine, and even Kea says I should stay away from him.” I noticed Elijah open his mouth to argue, but I didn’t let him . “For better or for worse, there will never be anything between us. Get that through your head,” I snarled, putting an end to the subject. “Now, if you’d like to review our plan for tonight, that’s a topic I’d actually value your insight on.”

Today, Koen and his men were leaving to hunt again, meaning I would once more have the chance to sneak into the upper floors of the pack house. Hopefully, this time I would succeed. Then, I’d finally be able to leave this madness and forget all about the alpha who messed with my head.

“Maybe now’s not the best time,” Theo observed, to my surprise. Only when I looked in the direction he subtly pointed at with his head did I understand what he meant.

Koen was standing with his Beta right ahead of us. He wasn’t too close, but he was definitely close enough for his werewolf hearing to pick up on our conversation. As if he could sense my presence, he darted his head at me, making me freeze with his glance alone. Instead of immediately looking away, like he had been doing for the past few days, his gaze lingered on me, until I was forced to break eye contact. There was no way in hell I’d let myself be affected by him now.

Or so I thought, until he suddenly appeared in front of me, almost making me scream bloody murder as I jumped back.

“Koen,” I greeted him first as I recovered from the jumpscare.

“Avril,” he called my name in the exact same hypnotizing way as always, but today, I saw hesitation in his eyes. Goddess, this couldn’t be good. “We’re leaving for the hunt before sundown.”

“I know,” I replied, fighting not to arch an eyebrow at him. These were the first words he had spoken to me in days, and I couldn’t figure out what was going through his mind.

Why was he so nervous?

“Of course, you know,” he observed quietly, and I could envision him facepalming internally. “Well, I was wondering if you would like to join us.” He must have noticed me stiffening up, because he soon added, “Your friends are welcome to come, too.”

My confusion deepened. Why would he want me, an omega, to join a pack hunt? It became even harder to read his intentions.

Before I could blurt out the first excuse that crossed my mind, my beta chimed in. “Oh, thank you, Alpha Koen. Sadly, my mate and I already have plans for tonight.” As I stood there in utter disbelief, he glanced at Elijah, who quickly caught his drift and nodded.

“Yes, yes. We were concerned about leaving Avril to spend the night alone,” my gamma added, “so it’s good to know you’ll keep her company.”

I wanted to yell at them, but I held myself back. What good would it do me to cause a scene here? My friends understood very well the situation they were putting me in and it deeply annoyed me. They were sacrificing our mission just to set me up with the man I told them I wanted nothing to do with.

“That’s a pity,” Koen mused, though I struggled to believe he was actually disappointed, especially when he eagerly turned to me. “Avril?”

Fuck. What excuse could I come up with now?

“You don’t need to…refuse…” A faint voice echoed in the depths of my mind, surprising me.

Since I started drinking wolfsbane, Kea barely spoke to me unless the effects of the poison were beginning to wear off. Yet, I had just taken my daily dose less than an hour ago. She must have been making a lot of effort to come to the surface, which made me pay double attention to what she had to say.

“Accept it,” she insisted. “It’ll raise suspicions…if you don’t.”

Hesitant, I pondered, “What about the mission?”

Silence reigned for an instant, and I was afraid she could have gone under again, until she eventually replied, “At the rate things are going…Koen…will invite you into the alpha chambers…himself.”

“What do you mean?” I tried to ask, but soon sensed her drifting off, leaving me in the dark.

“Avril? Will you come with us?” Koen’s voice pulled me from my thoughts after I failed to answer him within a reasonable timespan.

“Why not?” I blurted out at last, attempting a smile.

No, I was not happy about this. I wanted to focus on my mission, finish what I had come here to do, yet it seemed the world was conspiring against me. At least, this would be a good opportunity to test Kea’s hypothesis that, while she was dormant, I wouldn’t feel any kind of pull toward Koen. Besides, since we wouldn’t be alone, there would be no room for any form of chemistry to erupt between us. That put me at ease.

“Great.” The alpha beamed, his satisfaction evident. “Meet back here in an hour. I’ll be waiting.”

As I nodded, I couldn’t help but ask myself if this truly was a good idea.